KENZIE STACKED HER last box and looked around her apartment, trying to suppress her feeling of melancholy. It was a very sad day for her because tomorrow was moving day. She was going to have to say good-bye to her life of the last ten years.
She took another walk through before going to bed. Naya’s room was completely empty—she and Vaughn had come to pick up everything a few days ago—and it seemed this made Kenzie the saddest. Despite her hands being tied and knowing she was moving because she had a job, she knew that she and Naya would never be the same, and it was possible that, after time, they would lose touch altogether. Naya was the only thing Kenzie had left, and sooner or later, she would be gone, too.
Quit feeling sorry for yourself. Life happens. Shit happens. That’s just the way it goes sometimes.
With a sigh, Kenzie closed the door to Naya’s room and wandered to her own room. All that Kenzie had left was her bed and a vacant nightstand. It looked so empty and lonely. Kind of like her.
She really needed to get a grip on her poor-me routine. She knew things could be worse. Once the movers got there in the morning and she was actually driving down to Iowa, things would feel better.
Kenzie set her phone alarm to go off at four thirty in the morning. The movers were set to be at her place at six, and she wanted to be showered and ready before they got there. It was only eight in the evening, but she knew she would have a big day ahead of her, so she wanted to go to bed early. Plus, she could feel the beginning of a migraine coming on, so she had taken her prescription half an hour ago, and she would pretty much be a zombie on the medication. She’d been told that she had done and said things on it that she couldn’t even remember. It was for the best for her to just go to bed now. And even though she was going to bed early, she was going to be exhausted tomorrow morning for the first few hours. Her medicine worked wonders on her headaches, but it would stay in her system for what seemed like forever.
She changed into her pajamas and slipped into bed. She stared at the crack in her ceiling that had been there since she moved in. She fell asleep while staring at the jagged line, thinking about how much that crack resembled her life and how appropriate it was to be the last thing she saw before closing her eyes.
Sawyer knocked on Kenzie’s door and waited for her to answer.
He’d had a lot to think about during the last few days. With Naya yelling at him and Phoenix opening up and sharing a part of herself, Sawyer knew that he needed to take a step back and look at his life from a different perspective.
It was hard to let go of some of his hate toward humans and his biased views, but he’d realized that Phoenix was right and that he was punishing himself. He understood that he still needed work and that he couldn’t just expect everything that he had felt and thought for so long to change in a split second, which was why he had taken the biggest step he’d ever taken by seeing a professional. He’d only had one meeting so far, but for him, it was a huge effort to change his life for the better.
His second step was coming to Kenzie’s home to apologize to her. He had some other things to say, and knowing that she was leaving, he couldn’t put it off any longer.
After Sawyer realized that Kenzie wasn’t going to answer, he looked down at his watch. Eight thirty. Not that late, and Naya had confirmed that Kenzie would be home all night, packing up her things for tomorrow, and he had seen her car in the parking lot.
Why isn’t she answering?
He sighed because he really wanted to do things right, which meant being a gentleman by knocking on her door and waiting for her to answer and invite him in. He rapped his knuckles on the wood again, a little louder this time. He waited another minute or so before he turned around and reluctantly walked away. He supposed he would just have to call her even though he wanted to talk to her in person.
He got to the end of the hallway before he stopped, turned around, and marched back to her door. Screw being a gentleman. He couldn’t do this over the phone. He’d broken in before. What was one more time? Besides, what if something had happened to her, and he had just walked away? He snorted at his lame justification for entering her home illegally, but lame didn’t stop him from proceeding. He promised himself that he would sit quietly and wait for her to come home, if she were out, and that he would sit in full view of the door so as not to scare her like the last time he’d broken in.
Sawyer jimmied the lock and slipped in. The apartment was dark, except for the kitchen appliance clock and the streetlights illuminating the room through the open curtains. Boxes were everywhere, and it made the fact that Kenzie was moving all the more real. Any hesitancy he had before about entering her apartment without permission completely disappeared. He needed to see her before she left.
Sawyer put his nose in the air and sniffed. He smelled the distinct scent of lemon, but it wasn’t from household cleaner. It was Kenzie. Funny how he’d never admitted to himself what she smelled like before, but now, there was no mistaking the aroma.
With her fragrance so strong, Sawyer knew she had to be there, so he was confused as to why all the lights were off in the apartment. He quietly walked to her bedroom and pushed the partially closed door open all the way. Lights from the parking lot penetrated the room, and he was surprised to see Kenzie’s outline in her bed. Knowing the early hour of the night, he was worried at first until he saw the rise and fall of her chest under the covers.
He was unsure of what to do next. Last time he’d come into her room while she was sleeping, he’d scared her. He didn’t want to do that again.
Kenzie’s cat, who had been sleeping on the end of her bed, suddenly perked up and started meowing when she saw him. He stepped into the room and swept the cat up before she woke Kenzie, who stirred in her bed. The stupid cat had a hard-on for him. She’d stopped meowing and started purring as soon as he picked her up. He was trying to do things the right way, but everything was getting fucked up.
He gave the cat a few more rubs and a pep talk about being quiet before he set her down. Then, he approached Kenzie and lightly put his hand on her leg to gently shake her. He figured it would be less scary if he was at her feet rather than looming over her. But she didn’t move.
He stepped forward and rocked her hip next. She still didn’t wake up.
Reluctantly, he sat down next to her on the bed, hoping that would be less frightening when she awoke. He brushed her hair out of her face and whispered her name.