THE LIEUTENANT GOVERNOR, THIN AND SLENDER AS THE Katmai Peninsula, stepped forward and, addressing Sarah Palin, said:
“Governor! We are moved and touched to the bottom of our hearts by the way you have conducted yourself during your administration, by your two years here. . . .”
“More than two years,” prompted the adjutant general.
“Yes. More than two years. During the course of that time, we, on this so memorable for us . . . uh . . . day, want you to accept in token of our respect and profound gratitude this album with our portraits in it, and express our hope that for the duration of your distinguished life, that for long, long years to come, to your dying day you may not forget . . .”
“With your guidance in the path of justice and progress,” added the adjutant general, wiping from his brow the perspiration that had suddenly appeared on it; he was evidently longing to speak, and in all probability had a speech ready.
“And,” the lieutenant governor wound up, “may you continue to rise on the national scene, insisting on personal responsibility, government accountability, and a return to family values.”
A tear trickled down Sarah Palin’s cheek.
“Gentlemen!” she said in a shaking voice, “I did not expect this. I had no idea that you were going to celebrate my time here. We are dwarfed by the mountains and the rest of this majestic landscape, but we’re like a light burning in the middle of it. I’m so touched. I won’t forget this. I’m happy for myself, of course, but I’m sad for the people of Alaska. No one cares more for them than I do. Everything I have done has been for them.”
Sarah Palin hugged her lieutenant governor, who would shortly become governor, and the adjutant general, who would become lieutenant governor. She bowed her head to recover the beginning of her speech. Then Sarah Palin made a gesture that signified that she could not speak for emotion, and shed tears as though an expensive album had not been presented to her, but on the contrary, taken from her. Then when she had a little recovered and said a few more words full of feeling and hugged everyone a second time, she went out amid loud and joyful cheers, got into her Suburban, and drove off, followed by their blessings. As she headed home she was aware of a flood of joyous feelings such as she had never known before, and once more she shed tears.
At home new delights awaited her. There, her family, her friends, and acquaintances had prepared her such an ovation that it seemed to her that she really had been of very great service to her state, and that if she had never existed it would perhaps have been in a very bad way. The dinner was made up of toasts, speeches, and tears. In short, Sarah Palin had never expected that her merits would be so warmly appreciated.
“Everyone!” she said before dessert, “two hours ago I was repaid for all the sufferings anyone has to undergo who is the servant, so to say, not of routine, not of the letter, but of duty! Through my entire time as the governor of this great state I have constantly adhered to this principle: the public does not exist for us, but we for the public, and today I received the highest reward! I was presented with an album. See! I was touched.”
Festive faces bent over the album and began examining it.
“It’s a pretty album,” said Sarah Palin’s daughter Piper, “it must have cost a hundred dollars, at least. I love it! You must give me the album, Mama, do you hear? I’ll take care of it, it’s so pretty.”
After dinner Piper carried off the album to her room and shut it up in her table drawer. Next day she took the pictures of the lieutenant governor and the adjutant general out of it, flung them on the floor, and put her school friends in their place. The government dress made way for sweaters and dresses. Piper picked up the pictures of the lieutenant governor and adjutant general and drew flowers growing out of their heads. One man had a moustache; she added one to the other. Neither man had a tiara, and then both did. When there was nothing left to draw she cut the men out of the pictures and taped them to each other, side by side, like paper dolls. Then she carried them to her mother, who was sitting in the office, reading.
“Mama, look!”
Sarah Palin burst out laughing, lurched forward, and, looking tenderly at Piper, gave her a warm kiss on the cheek.
“That’s great, baby, go show Daddy; let Daddy see too.”