The drive to Kansas from Ohio took us two days. It was a long and tiring trip. My mother and I took turns driving, even though I didn't have my license yet. At first she objected to letting me behind the wheel, but at times she was way too tired to go on. I handled the U-haul like a champion even though driving through the mountains scared me.
We were fortunate enough that the realtor found us a small, but nice, and affordable house pretty quickly. We arrived at our new house around three in the morning. My mother and I were both too tired to move anything in. We just grabbed our blankets and pillows, went into the house, and lay on the floor. We didn't even bother looking around our new home before falling off to sleep.
Early the next morning, my mother and I began unloading the U-haul truck. We moved all the small boxes first, before taking on the task of the heavy items. As we struggled to move the couch, I noticed a big, burly female with cornrows standing on the porch next door watching us. She had strong masculine features. She stood like a man. She even held and puffed her cigarette like a man. The only way I could tell that she was of the female gender was by her breasts.
She watched as the couch slipped from my mother's grip and hit the ground. She jumped off the porch and ran over and lifted my mother's end up off the ground. The way her muscles stuck out from under her shirt, she could have carried the couch all by herself. She didn't say a word at first; she just helped unload the heavy items off the truck with no problem. I guess the morning sun was getting the best of her because she removed her shirt, revealing a crisp, white wife-beater. I was amazed at how her arms even resembled a man's. Muscles and tattoos decorated her upper body. She even had a few tattoos on her neck.
"Thank you," my mother said to her when everything was off the truck. "How much do I owe you for your time?"
"Nuttin', it was on me," she said, in kind of a manly tone. "Benny," she said, wiping her hand on her jeans before holding it out for my mother to shake.
"Benny?" I grimaced. This broad gotta be gay.
My mother looked over at me with a look that told me to shut my mouth. "Sharon," my mother said, shaking her hand. "This rude girl here is my daughter, Hayden."
"Hayden?" Benny grimaced, like she was giving me a taste of my own medicine.
"Benny, thanks for all your help," my mother said sincerely.
"No problem. Anytime," she replied as she walked back over to her porch and lit up another cigarette.
Benny watched us until we disappeared into the house.
"That Benny is a nice young lady," my mother said as she grabbed a bucket and began filling it with water.
"Yeah, if that's what you wanna call her," I replied.
"You should go over and talk to her when we get finished cleaning. Maybe y'all can become friends."
"I can't be the type of friend she’s looking for. Momma, that girl is a dyke."
"Hayden Pauline Parker, do you ever have anything nice to say about anyone?" my mother asked as she poured dish liquid and bleach into a bucket of water. "So what if she's gay? The Bible says love thy neighbor."
"And Double XX Posse say, 'Not gonna be able to do it,'" I laughed.
My mother shook her head. "You need Jesus," she said while handing me a wet, soapy rag.
Kansas turned out to be all right for me. I got me a job at Logan's Steakhouse. I was taking night classes so I could get my GED, and I finally got my license. My mother, on the other hand, wasn't too fond of Kansas. She had started taking trips back to Mansfield at least once a month. I guessed she missed her friends back home. She looked very unhappy and tired all the time. It could have been because of her health condition, but I knew it was because she wasn’t really happy. Even on her worse days she always managed to smile, but I hadn’t seen that smile in some time lately. All she did was work double shifts. I told her she needed a break from work, but she wouldn't hear of it, saying that if she took a break, she wouldn't be able to help me purchase the car I wanted. I felt bad, but if working was what she wanted to do all the time, who was I to stop her?
One day as I was walking to the bus stop and Benny was standing on her front porch shooting her regular; smoking a cigarette.
"Sup, Hayden?" she greeted.
"Hey," I replied.
"Where you off to?" she asked.
"Work."
"Where you work at?" she asked, while letting smoke escape from her lips.
I was getting irritated with the entire conversation because I was in a hurry. I was running a little bit behind and didn’t want to risk missing my bus. "Logan's, why?"
"You need a ride?"
I really didn't feel like walking three blocks to the bus stop and waiting in the hot sun for the bus to arrive. Even knowing there was a chance I might miss my bus and have to wait even longer for the next one to roll through, I refused her offer anyway. "Naw, I'm cool."
"Suit yourself," Benny replied, flicking the cigarette into the yard and walking back into her house, letting the screen door slam behind her.
If I didn't know any better, I'd swear that chick was trying to get at me. Nonetheless, I headed on my journey for work.
When I got off work, my legs and feet were aching. Thank goodness it was Saturday so I didn't have class that night. As I approached the front of Benny's house, I noticed she had a porch full of women. Some looked masculine like her, while others looked as feminine as me. I didn't know what kind of party they were having, but I dang sure didn't want to kick it wit' 'em.
Benny stood up from her chair and walked to the first step. "Sup, Hayden?"
"Hey," I replied and kept on walking to my front door. As I dug into my purse, I couldn't find my house key. "Shoot," I replied, remembering I had left my keys on the fireplace. “That’s what I get for rushing.”
"What's the matter? You locked out?" Benny asked.
"Yeah," I said, disappointed.
"Time ya momz get off work?" she asked.
"I think midnight."
"You can come kick it wit' us 'til she get home if you want," Benny offered.
"I don't kick it, and I'll just sit over here on my porch, thank you anyways."
"Whatever," Benny said, returning to her seat and bobbing her head to the beat of the music.
After sitting on my own porch for over an hour, I had to use the bathroom. Benny and her crew had taken the party inside. The last thing I wanted to do was knock on her door and ask to use her toilet. She probably wouldn't let me anyways, as rude as I had been every time she tried to talk to me. I decided I’d go to the side of the house and pee. I looked in my purse for a napkin to wipe myself with but came up empty. I was forced to do the inevitable. I tapped lightly on Benny's door, knowing I couldn't be heard because the music was so loud. So I knocked a little bit harder and rang the bell. They must have heard me this time because someone turned the music down.
"Sup?" Benny asked when she came to the door.
I could tell she was as high as a kite by the way her eyes laid low and by the slur in her speech. "Can I use your bathroom?" I asked.
"Please?" she said, her tone directing me to repeat after her.
Oh come on, I thought. I rolled my eyes. "Please."
Benny and her female friends laughed as she opened up the screen door to let me in.
"It's down that hall, first door on your left," Benny pointed.
At first I hesitated because it felt real strange being in a room full of lesbians. I didn't know if one of them would try to attack me when I came out of the bathroom or not.
"What, you scared?" Benny asked.
"Only thing I'm scared of is mice."
Benny laughed and shook her head. "Well you don't have to worry about any mice up in here," she replied before walking over to the sofa and taking a seat.
Benny's house was laid out. Her walls were painted in a burnt orange. She had oversized, leather, cognac-colored furniture that was accentuated with different shades of oranges, browns and creams. The paintings on the walls were all designed by Swept Away Enterprises, and the stereo system was adjacent to the sixty-two inch Plasma television that sat in the corner with what looked like hundreds of CD's stacked neatly on the mahogany shelves that were built into the wall.
She got taste, I thought as I made my way down the hallway. When I finished using the bathroom I walked back into the living room and stood by the door, dreading going back and sitting on the hard concrete porch.
"Why don't you stay a while?" Benny suggested.
As much as I wanted to refuse, I went ahead and took a seat in the soft leather chair that was calling my butt’s name. The chair was fit for a king, it was so big.
Benny picked up a remote off the coffee table, pointed it to the stereo, and turned the volume down. "Y'all, this is my neighbor, Hayden," she introduced before going back to rolling her blunt.
"Hey," they all said simultaneously, then continued on with what they were doing as well.
"You want a drink?" one of the girls said, shoving a beer in my face.
"No thanks; I don't drink," I replied.
"What, you don't drink?"
"Nope. I had a bad experience once."
"By the way, my name is Sticky Fingers," she said, holding out her tiny hand for me to shake.
"Wit' a name like that, I don't know if I really wanna touch your hand," I said.
"It's not what you thinkin’…silly," Sticky Fingers laughed. "My friends call me that because I be stealin’ broads' hearts without them even knowin’," she winked.
"Did you say broads?" I asked just to make sure.
"Yep, sure did. That's how I got wit' Benny. All the females that tried to get with her said she was hard to get with because it takes a special woman to make Benny happy. But I came in the picture and made her fall in love with me just like that," she said, snapping her fingers.
"Wow, unbelievable," I said stunned that she was speaking so openly.
"You got a boyfriend?" she pried.
"Nope."
"A girlfriend?"
"Heck naw," I grimaced.
"Wanna smoke?" Sticky Fingers asked, while sparking up a blunt.
"Nope," I answered.
"You don't smoke either?"
I shook my head.
"What do you do for fun?" Sticky Fingers asked me, while blowing smoke rings out her mouth. "You one of them church girls, ain't you?" she asked, laughing.
"Nope, don't believe in God," I replied.
"What?" she asked surprised. "You're an atheist?"
"Look, I’d rather not get into all that. Plus, you ask a lot of questions."
"My bad. I was just tryna make conversation." Sticky Fingers got up off the couch and walked into the kitchen, leaving me all by myself.
As the night progressed, I was getting more and more tired. It was way past midnight and my mother still wasn't home. That meant one thing; she was working another double shift. I ended up calling the hospital, but she wasn’t able to come to the phone. I thought about asking Benny to drive me up to the hospital so I could try to track my mom down and get the key. Then I thought again; she’d done enough. I didn’t want to ask her to do too much or she might start to expect something back in return. And trust and believe wasn’t nothing jumping off this way.
As bad as I wanted to be home in my own bed, I was forced to spend the night at Benny's. I hoped that I wouldn't have to be alone with her. Thankfully, Sticky Fingers stayed to keep her company.
"Here's a t-shirt for you," Benny walked into the guest room and said, holding it out to me.
"No thanks, I'll sleep in my clothes."
"Oh, you gon' John Wayne it, huh?" she joked.
"I guess you can say that."
"Look, you don't hafta worry about me tryna hit on you. Yes, I'm a lesbian, but I'm wit' Sticky and can't no other broad take her place, understand?"
"You got that right," Sticky said as she walked down the hallway toward the front of the house to turn out the lights.
"Plus, you ain't my type. You too square." Benny winked and laughed as she made her way to her bedroom.
Square, I thought as I climbed into the comfortable queen size bed. I ain't hardly square. Am I?