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28. Rewind

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Grace

I sat on the couch, huddled in a blanket with a cup of hot chocolate, crying my eyes out.

I had to digest the fact that now we're going to have a baby. It was the exact thing we were fighting about. I know that Noah gave me the option to get an abortion, but I haven’t decided on that yet. I strongly considered an abortion, but I knew that Noah would never forgive me and that I wouldn’t be able to live with myself after that. I also had to call the doctor. How could a blood test be wrong? Did the pregnancy test show a false positive? Everything is possible.

I didn't ask him to leave, I couldn't. He wanted me to be happy and I know that I can't be happy without him. Instead, he was sitting across from me handing me a tissue every now and then. I know that the mere fact that I was now crying about having a baby was bad enough for him when he dearly wanted a baby. I didn't want to break his heart any more than I already have but the tears wouldn't stop.

We didn't say anything to each other. It still felt like we just wouldn't work in the long run. We always fight and don’t talk it out like the adults we are supposed to be. We spontaneously break up instead of facing each other. The problem is that we also differ a lot from each other. Our needs and wants has shifted since we met, and they never got back to the crossroad we were once at.

He stood up and headed towards the kitchen. I relented after spending the day with the tension between us continuing to build. We needed to talk.

I stopped beside him at the kitchen counter.

"I'm sorry." He frowned and looked at me.

"For?"

"For losing my shit like I did. We need to figure this out, we can't ignore each other like this. We need to have the conversation we have been ignoring."

"We do, we have to figure this mess out. I love you but I know you don't want what I want in life now. But what is it you want exactly? You said you don't want to marry me, and you don't want children with me now but previously said that you wanted all of that. So what is it that you want?" The line of frustration creased on his forehead.

"I said I wasn't ready to get married or have children, yet. I never said I didn't want to marry you or that I never want to be with you. I'm just not ready to do what you want; I want to wait and do all of that when the time is right." I felt another argument coming on.

"But that's exactly what it means. You don't want to marry me, and you don't want to have a baby with me! That's why you aren't ready and that is also the reason why you never will be ready! " He walked away and upstairs to Harper's room where he was probably going to sleep tonight. 

I sat down on the couch again and decided to lie down.

I heard the wind whipping by the sides of the house, I grabbed onto the blanket tighter as it started to cool down more. I thought that I turned the thermostat up. I wanted to stand up to check but the couch was so warm and comfortable that I didn’t bother.

I felt arms pull me upwards. At first, I thought it was a dream but then I heard Noah whispering.

‘I may be angry at you, but I still care if you freeze to death.’

I was placed on a bed and the covers pulled over me.

I felt the lightest of kisses placed on my head.

Noah

I woke up to the sound of a loud thud. I sat up, rubbing my eyes and looked around with a squint. I slept in Harper's room tonight since there were no other open rooms and what she doesn't know won't hurt her. I slowly walked down the stairs to see Grace moving around boxes.

I looked around the room in a frown.

"What the hell are you doing at-" I looked at the small clock beside the fireplace, "at seven on a winter morning?" Though I was still mad at her and she at me, I couldn't stop caring. Not now.

"I'm packing."

"Why?"

"You want to get married? Let's get married. You want a baby, here we are. You want me to move in with you. I'm doing that." She looked more restless than anything else.

"Grace, what are you doing?" I tried again.

"I'm trying to be okay with this. I'm trying my very best to get used to this and to not get hung up on the small details." She sighed and slumped down on the couch. I took a seat beside her.

"I'm sorry about what I said. If you're not ready, you're not ready." She rested her head on my shoulder and looked up at me.

"You see that's what I realized. I can't keep saying I'm not ready, in a few months it's not going to be just us, it's going to be the three of us. I want us to work out, if it means sacrifice then so be it. It's about moving out of my comfort zone, right?" She looked hopeful. This wasn’t what I intended to happen.

"We're both going to make sacrifices, we're in this together. How about we rewind?" I asked equally hopeful this. We may not be exactly on the same page, but love has no boundaries. We're going to have to put some more work into this relationship. It's more than worth it. We couldn’t keep going back and forth in this tug of war.

"Rewind?"

"Let's forget the fight. We have a baby now no matter how hard we fight against each other. Should I ask you to marry me again?" She shook her head smiling.

"Once was enough, but I think we might have to go ring shopping." I let out a relieved sigh. I still had the other ring, but I knew that it had her most painful memories attached to it. I shouldn’t have given it to her in the first place.

"That will be my surprise then." She started laughing.

"We have the shortest breakups in the world if you ask me." I shook my head and smirked.

"We really just can't stay away from each other, now can we?"

"We do have a problem." She sat up and frowned.

"What problem?” She shook her head.

"First we have to call the doctor. Not too long ago a blood test confirmed I wasn’t pregnant. Something doesn’t add up. Secondly, the problem of telling my father and brother about this baby. My brother might also brutally murder you and my father may make you into a human coat." She scrunched up her nose and frowned.

"Well, if that happens then I will make a fetching human skin coat. I have a feeling that your father might be happy. He mentioned something about your brother and grandchildren. We don't have to worry about my parents for sure. We can call the doctor to check. The test could have been faulty."

"And my brother?"

“I might have to find a place to hide out for a few days." I chuckled; she lifted her hand up to pat me on the cheek.

"You better start running my strange man; Adam uses scalpels for a living." I pecked her on the cheek.

She may be right, her six-foot something brother seemed like someone who would happily scalp me.