Filled with fear and guilt, I waited in agony for Friday night and Bounmy’s return from Siam. I kept picturing the expression on his face when he saw me dancing with Julian. Why had I tempted fate and gone to the club? A few glasses of wine, an evening of dancing, and I’d easily given in to Julian’s attentions. I felt more confused than ever.
I expected a note from Bounmy canceling our date, ending our relationship. When that didn’t come, I felt sure he would simply not show up, and I would never hear from him again. How could I possibly survive losing him, on top of Bridgette? I ached to see his sweet face, to know the grace of his smile upon me once more.
Everyone left the office by five. I waited, jumping every time I heard a sound, watching the clock and endlessly smoothing my hair and skirt. To my relief, Bounmy suddenly appeared, standing in the doorway, twirling his straw hat. His eyes and the lines around his mouth were drawn with hesitation, but not anger.
“You’re here,” I said, jumping up.
“Where else would I be?” He put his arms around me and hugged me tight. “I’ve missed you so much.”
I closed my eyes. “I’ve missed you.”
“Come. There’s a pousse-pousse waiting.” He took my hand. “I have a surprise for you.”
The porter carried us down the river road southwest of town. We pressed our arms and legs against each other, holding hands. The warmth of his body sent an electrifying ripple through me.
His face drew close to mine with a puzzled expression. “I didn’t expect to see you at the club Saturday night.” There was no trace of reproach in his voice, only uncertainty.
“Catherine and Marguerite insisted I go with them.” I let the lie slip as easily as if describing the weather.
“And Julian had to come, of course,” Bounmy said.
I paused a moment, staring down at my lap. “I thought you might be upset with me for joining my friends.”
“Not really, except you know I dislike you spending time with Julian.” He touched my cheek. “I’m jealous of him.” His honesty was touching.
“I was startled you were there. I thought you’d gone to Siam.” I placed my hand on his arm. “Then you left so suddenly.”
“I had a wire from my father that afternoon, saying my sister had a high fever. I didn’t feel right staying at the club knowing she was ill. I only stopped by to say hello.” He shook his head slowly. “I’m never comfortable there, but Prince Phetsarath enjoys it greatly.”
I remained quiet a moment, wondering if Julian had been right that Bounmy would never speak to me in front of his family. “Are you embarrassed to acknowledge me in front of your family?”
Bounmy bit his lip. “Not embarrassed, not at all, but there are circumstances that make it awkward at the moment. I’m working to resolve them.” He sighed. “I’m sorry if that hurt your feelings. Be patient with me.”
His mysterious explanation only raised more questions, but I would honor his request and try to be patient. “I recognized your cousins, but who were the women at your table?” I asked, trying to sound nonchalant.
His eyebrows shot up. “Ah, Aline Allard, who Prince Souvanna is courting, and her sister. I’ve only met the sister once before.” He squeezed my hand. “No more questions. Let’s forget last Saturday and enjoy tonight.”
I nodded, relieved to know he wasn’t unhappy with me. “How is your sister feeling?”
“They think it’s dengue fever, but she’s recovering.”
Five minutes out of town, Bounmy directed the porter down a narrow lane partially hidden behind a stand of bamboo. The road ended in a lovely, unkempt garden. Orange hibiscus, climbing jasmine, red ginger, and wild grasses filled flower beds with vibrant colors and fragrant scents; bees droned lazily from bloom to bloom gathering pollen. Beyond the garden, a tiny wooden house sat along the edge of the Mekong River.
“How did you find this place?” I asked, filled with wonder.
“It belongs to a friend who comes here for a quiet place to write,” Bounmy said, helping me down from the pousse-pousse. “Close your eyes, and I’ll lead you to the surprise.” I squeezed my eyes shut, and he guided me along the pathway as stray fronds and blooms tickled my arms and legs. “You can look,” he whispered.
I opened my eyes and gasped. Behind the house, a table and two chairs had been set up under a giant flame tree overlooking the water. It was set with a white linen cloth, fine china, silverware, and crystal glasses. On a small side table an ice bucket cradled a bottle of champagne.
“How did you ever manage this?”
He grinned. “I decided if I couldn’t take you to the Café Français, I’d bring the café to you.”
A young Lao boy stepped forward, bending in a nop. Bounmy held out a chair for me. “Mademoiselle.” The boy removed the cork from the champagne bottle with a loud pop and poured the bubbly liquid into crystal flutes then placed a plate of toasts points and pâté de foie gras before us.
I couldn’t believe he’d gone to this much trouble for me. It was terribly romantic and touching. My heart overflowed, and my eyes grew misty.
Bounmy held up his glass. “Santé. To special times together.” He paused for a moment, gazing into my eyes. “To one day being in Paris together.”
I clinked my glass against his. “That would be a dream come true. Perhaps when my brother and I go to university in France, you could visit.” The idea of leaving Bounmy and going off to France was impossible to imagine at the moment.
We sipped champagne and nibbled foie gras, gazing over the river as it slowly swirled past, content to be together and at peace once more. Everything else in life slipped into the background, rendered unimportant. Two longboats and a fishing skiff glided by as the sun dipped toward the hills in Siam. A gray heron landed at the water’s edge and extended its long white neck, pecking at the mud with its sharp orange beak. The bird cast a wary eye in our direction.
The boy ran into the house and reemerged with two covered dishes, removing the lids with great fanfare. “Voilà!”
I stared in wonder at strips of beef and mushrooms in a dark wine sauce, potatoes dauphinoise, and sautéed haricots vert. On rare occasions we’d eaten meals like this at the orphanage. “It smells delicious.”
Bounmy smiled. “It’s not exactly Paris, but it’s the best I could do.”
We ate in silence, suddenly shy with each other, occasionally swatting at pesky bees and flies. The boy remained unobtrusively in the background, ready to refill our glasses with champagne, then pouring red wine. Everything was perfect. Like Bounmy.
“How was your trip to Bangkok?” I asked at last.
He shrugged. “Truthfully, rather tedious—a long drive on terrible roads, then a three-hour train ride—all for a two-hour meeting with the Siamese trade minister. It achieved little, but for Prince Phetsarath it’s all about appearances and establishing relationships.” He shook his head. “I’m not well suited for the politics of this job.”
“Do you enjoy your work?”
“Yes, but I often have to create tasks to occupy myself. I write reports about opportunities for trade and detail ways we could promote selling goods from Laos. Currently we export mostly natural resources, such as wood and tin, or agricultural goods, like cardamom, coffee, and opium, although much of the latter is smuggled out illegally. Laos desperately needs to develop manufacturing capabilities, but first we have to identify markets and create a trained workforce.” He pushed his potatoes around on the plate. “All my initiatives are bogged down right now given the dismal state of the world economy and our reduced budgets. There is no funding.” He laughed. “You must find this very boring. I often do.”
“Not at all. I want to understand your work.”
“Well, today we had a meeting at work with a Chinese trade emissary,” Bounmy began. “I was shocked by his arrogant and rude manner, offering an agreement that would clearly benefit China and do nothing for Laos. But Prince Phetsarath is adept at putting people like this in their place without ever seeming the least offended or perturbed. I always learn a great deal from him.”
“Did you say anything?”
“I restrained myself, not wanting to embarrass Prince Phetsarath. Laos’s past is filled with episodes of neighbors—China, Burma, Annam, Cambodge, and Siam—invading and plundering our land, then demanding heavy tributes for their so-called protection. Even now with the French in control, the Chinese feel superior and want to exploit our homeland.” He sighed. “I’d like to help establish a stronger, more prosperous Laos that will garner more respect from other countries.”
I touched his arm. “I’m sure you can accomplish it.”
The Lao boy cleared our dinner plates and disappeared in the house.
“I did have some good news today. King Sisavang Vong has named me to the Indigenous Consultative Assembly. I’m sure it’s a favor to my father, but I’m excited about the new role.”
I took a sip of wine. “I don’t know what that is.”
“It’s a council consisting of one Lao representative from each of the eleven provinces under French administration along with two members from the kingdom of Luang Prabang. The group confers with French officials and advises on economic and commercial matters.”
“It sounds important.”
“In some ways, but the Lao members don’t actually make decisions, only offer recommendations.” He wiped his mouth with his napkin. “In the end, the French control everything. I’d like to see the assembly given a greater role, some decision-making power.”
“Isn’t the king in charge of Luang Prabang?”
Bounmy let out a big huff of air. “Luang Prabang has more autonomy than the Lao provinces”—his voice grew bitter—“but the king and his advisors are limited to decisions over education and justice, while the Governor General of Indochine in Hanoi has authority over everything else. Ultimately the French must agree with the king’s policies. The Indigenous Consultative Assembly was created to appease the Lao aristocracy’s feelings of helplessness. A bone thrown to the dogs.”
“I’ve never understood why Indochine is important to France. Is it purely about making money?” I asked. “My teacher at school last year became irate when I raised this question. He said the French want to help the colonies of Indochine develop to provide a better life for the people. I find that hard to believe.”
Bounmy’s face tensed. “That’s the official explanation. The other Indochine colonies provide an important source of income for France. However, Laos is a disappointment, a backwater where little of value has been produced. The main advantage for France of being here is that Laos acts as a buffer against Siam’s power.”
The frustration and anger in his words surprised me. “Do you think the French will leave one day and give us independence?”
“It seems highly unlikely. How ironic that the French Republic proclaims all men have a right to liberty, equality, and freedom. Except, of course, when it comes to French colonies like Laos. We may not be ready for independence quite yet, but…one day.”
He tore a piece of bread from the baguette. “I ask your discretion. What I’ve said could be considered treason by some. The king of Luang Prabang seems content to rule under French tutelage for now, because he remembers when Siam held the Lao kingdoms hostage, stealing our lands and people and burdening us with heavy taxes. The king and many of his advisors, my father included, fear that could happen again if the French leave. Perhaps they’re right for the moment.”
“Why shouldn’t the Lao people determine their own future?”
He looked surprised. “Aren’t you a French citizen?”
“I’m half Lao. This is my country, too, the place where I was born. I hate how the French treat the Lao.” The wine had loosened my tongue. “I see how they look down their noses at my mixed blood. What gave them the right to decide my fate?”
Bounmy jerked his head back, startled by my outburst. “I’m glad you share my sentiments, but be careful. Those words could get you into trouble.” He leaned back in his chair and took a sip of wine. “And how is everything at River Transport?”
“I admit I’m a bit bored at times. I don’t understand why Kham isn’t more interested in my suggestions for improving the business.” It was the first time I’d felt comfortable enough to be honest about my job. “I don’t mean to complain, but it is frustrating.”
“Kham has many responsibilities right now. His wife gave birth to twins last month and his mother is not well. Perhaps he can’t focus clearly on the business.”
“He told me we’ll be leaving for Luang Prabang at the end of September.”
“Excellent, although I don’t know what I’ll do with myself while you’re gone.”
The boy reemerged from the house and bowed before leaving.
“He’ll come back tomorrow morning to clean up,” Bounmy explained as he stood. “I thought we might walk along the river.”
He took my hand, and we strolled down the weedy path that edged the steep riverbank. The last rays of sunlight cast shadows across the swirling waters, turning the river from muddy brown to a deeper taupe, then dark gray. A million noisy insects filled the air with the sounds of dusk. My body felt loose and relaxed.
When the path ended abruptly, we retraced our steps. “I have a chocolate torte for dessert,” Bounmy announced. He grabbed our champagne glasses and led me into the house.
The building consisted of a single room filled with a desk, typewriter, two chairs, a small bookshelf, and a divan covered with a Lao cloth in hues of red and orange. In the back was a door to a tiny water closet, and on the left side of the room a makeshift kitchen had been created with wooden planks balanced on cement blocks. Bounmy placed the glasses on the counter and lit two kerosene lamps. He lifted another bottle of champagne from a pail of cool water, popping the cork.
“Thank you for the elegant dinner,” I said.
“We can finally be alone.” He turned to me with a smile that carried the warmth of a hundred sunny days. “The hours I spend with you are the happiest moments in my life.”
“And mine,” I said, searching his eyes for answers to all the questions that remained unspoken. “I don’t know how I would have survived these past weeks without you.” I put my arms around his neck, inhaling his essence.
“May I kiss you?” he asked. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
I stood on tiptoe and met his lips, as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. We kissed slowly, deeply. The air drained from my lungs, leaving me dizzy and giddy, my legs weak.
He whispered in my ear, “I love you, Geneviève. I’ve loved you from the first moment I saw you at the temple. All I truly want is to be with you…” His voice trailed off with a hollow sadness.
“I love you, too.”
We clung to each other, kissing until the heat of our passion overpowered all sense of time and reason. The outside world didn’t exist any longer, and there was only Bounmy and me. The touch of his lips, the feel of his body pressed against mine, quieted any doubts. Although inexperienced in matters of the heart, all I needed to know was that he loved me. I felt the truth of his words deep in my soul. With that realization, I wanted nothing more than to give myself to him totally, to be his—the only gift I had to offer. Then he would never leave me, not as my father and mother and Bridgette had done.
“I want to be yours,” I whispered. “Now. Here.”
“You’re very young. I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
I put a finger over his lips. “It’s my decision.”
He hesitated for only a moment, then lifted me effortlessly and carried me to the divan. He slowly removed my skirt, blouse, chemise, and bloomers, piece by piece, caressing and kissing each curve of my body. I lay naked before him, only mildly embarrassed as his eyes devoured me in the shadows of the lamp’s flame. He quickly undressed. I brushed my fingertips across the taut muscles of his arms and chest, amazed by the silkiness of his skin. Little by little, with restrained urgency, he introduced me to the meaning of pleasure, the miracle of two bodies melding together as one. The definition of joy.
After, I nestled in his arms, in awe of our physical and emotional connection. I had crossed from the world of a young girl to that of a woman. Now I understood the true measure of love.
He buried his face in my hair. “Are you all right? Did I hurt you?”
“Only for a moment. Then it was wonderful.”
“I treasure you, Geneviève. Don’t ever forget that.” Sorrow infused his words, almost as if he were saying farewell, leaving me unsure what to think.
We sat on the divan naked and ate giant slices of chocolate torte, laughing at nothing but our happiness as we fed each other bites. He poured more champagne, and we toasted to the days and nights ahead that we planned to spend together wrapped in each other’s arms.
“You have no idea how much I love you, how I’ve desired you from the beginning,” he said. “It’s been so hard to hold back, but this feels right, removing the last barrier between us.” He lifted my hair and gently placed it over my shoulder.
“Why did you wait so long?” I asked.
“It had to be your decision. The first time is a big moment in your life. I wanted it to be perfect.” He kissed me gently on my neck.
“It was.” I stared down at my plate. “You are.”
“I’m honored you chose me.” He ran his hand down my breasts and belly to my lower parts, making me gasp with pleasure. “From now on we must say whatever we feel. No more pretenses or secrets.”
“I want to be with you as much as possible.”
“I do also.” He placed our plates and champagne glasses out of the way. His hands slowly explored every inch of my body, as if he were memorizing each bone and muscle, every crevice, the smallest marks on my skin. We made love slowly, passionately. I had never experienced such bliss in my young life.
We remained at the house until nearly midnight, sharing childhood stories, making love once more and reveling in the intensity of our feelings, our newfound intimacy. I belonged to this man, protected and warmed by his love.
Reluctantly we dressed and left our retreat beneath a crescent moon and twinkling stars playing hide and seek under scattered clouds. Bounmy had arranged for the pousse-pousse to wait on the main road, and the porter ferried us back to my street. We walked the last half-block to Catherine’s, Bounmy holding my arm in the dim glow of the moonlight. I didn’t want to leave him, to go back to my ordinary life. Nothing would ever be the same.
A lamp burned in the salon. I hoped no one was up to witness my late return, most of all Julian. After a last kiss, I left Bounmy at the gate and slipped into the house, running upstairs to the refuge of my room.