Chapter Twenty-Eight

Laura heard sounds of an electric razor from the bathroom and knew Alan was up. She scrunched up her face and looked heavenward. “Lord, what am I doing? What do I say? “She bowed her head in the silence. “I need your help, Lord. I can’t do this alone. I can’t marry Alan and I have to tell him.” She reached for her Bible and turned to a familiar passage in Isaiah. “You shall hear a word behind you, saying, this is the way, walk in it.” She wiped a tear from one cheek. “I’m counting on that, Lord.”

She dressed quickly and began folding Alan’s bedding from the couch. He came up behind her, his voice almost too cheerful. “Good morning, darling, how did you sleep?”

“I slept all right.’ I tossed and turned all night, anticipating this morning.

Alan put an arm around her shoulders, and tipping her chin up, kissed her soundly. At her half-hearted response, he frowned. “I hope you’re not still upset over last night. We both said some things we shouldn’t have. I want you to know I’m sorry, Laura“.

She glanced in the kitchen to see her mother dressed and pouring herself some coffee. Nothing like the prospect of being pampered in a beauty shop to get a woman going in the morning.

Laura went to give her parent a brief hug. Then she poured Alan a cup of coffee. He gave her a thoughtful glance as he sat down in the kitchen nook.

“Anyone want any breakfast?” She opened the fridge and reached for the eggs.

“I’m good. I have to be on my way. I’m sure you two won’t miss me.” Gloria blew them a kiss and breezed out the door.

“You make a great omelet.” Alan ventured.

She made an omelet with a little cheese and found four sausages left in the meat compartment. He watched her in wary silence.

She needed an opening gambit. “How did the meeting go at the church?”

“Oh, just as I said it would. It was a vote of approval, but, unfortunately, it wasn’t unanimous.”

She stopped beating the eggs. “Someone voted against you?”

“I think I know who they are, Peter Garcia and Silas MacArthur.”

“How do you know?”

“They haven’t been in favor of my becoming head pastor from the beginning. They feel we need new blood to take the church in a different direction.”

“Ah.”

He watched her in silence until she put the plates of food on the table. He bowed his head and asked a brief and perfunctory blessing but didn’t take her hand. She looked down at the hand Sam had held the night before and closed her eyes.

Alan cut into his omelet with the side of his fork, as he continued his conversation. “Their time on the board is up next year. I need the board’s full support and the sooner they’re gone, the better.”

“I see.” And she did, more clearly that she wanted to. “When do you have to get back?”

He frowned and took her hand. “I’m sorry, darling, I have to go back this morning. There’s just too much going on and it doesn’t help for me to be gone at this time.” He finished his breakfast quickly and glanced at his watch. “I’d better get on the road. I’ll see you Sunday.”

Now is the time. Now or never.

She put a hand on his arm. “Alan, I wish you well in your new job, really I do. I’m afraid I’m not going to be able to share it with you.”

He rose from the table and went to put his arms around her. “Darling, don’t say anything you might regret later.”

She gently pushed him away. “Alan, I can’t marry you.” She pulled the ring off her finger and put it in his palm, closing his fingers around it.

His shoulders seemed visibly droop. “I see.” He opened his hand and stared at the ring. “Is it the man you were with last night?”

Her eyes widened. “Sam? No, I don’t know him well enough. He’s just been a friend.”

“Then why?”

“Alan, I do care about you, but I was caught up in the bigger picture, serving the Lord together maybe. I’m just not in love with you. I’ve finally realized that. You deserve the helpmate who is right for you.”

He took hold of her shoulders, and she heard the panic in his voice. “Laura, do you know what you’re doing? The board expects me to be married. They all approved of my choice…” he broke off, suddenly aware of what he’d said.

She stepped back, pity welling up inside her. “Oh, Alan, perhaps it’s for the best. Maybe there is a new direction the Lord wants to see you go. Not the direction your father planned for you, but one God has for you.”

He looked down at the ring again. “So this is final?”

Suddenly a weight rolled off her shoulders. “Yes, Alan.” She reached up and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

He stood for a moment as if unsure what to do next, then went into the living room and picked up his satchel. She followed him out to his car and as he started to get in he gave her a last look but said no more. In a few moments he’d driven away.

She watched the car until it turned the corner. I don’t know where I’m headed, Lord, but I believe I did the right thing. So where do I go from here?”

A bird trilled his song from high in one of the pine trees, a song of praise. She listened, standing quietly in the driveway and felt God’s love washing over her.