Susanna watched Tristan and Dylan laughing and smiling as they celebrated their victory over the wraiths. They were free, but Susanna’s task had only begun. How long before the Inquisitor appeared and gave her the same judgement? How long before innocent lives were taken by wraiths who found her gap in the veil?
God, she was so stupid. Why had she lied to Tristan? Why? She hadn’t wanted to admit what she’d done, that she’d deliberately connected herself to a soul like Jack just to get to him. What must he think of her for turning up like this? If she told him the truth about how she’d gotten across, he’d hate her even more.
It had been such a relief, seeing him in the tunnel and then working with him to find the wraith, holding his hand and feeling that sense of oneness, of connection. It had been so much more than they’d ever shared in the wasteland, his body so close she was able to bask in his warmth.
But then he’d let her go – and it had been Dylan who’d helped him destroy the wraith. Who’d wrapped herself around him, held him in victory. The two of them were going to return to the life they were carving out. Susanna had no option but to try and fix her problem alone – well, with Jack. Which was worse than being alone.
This day had not ended the way she’d hoped.
They waded back down the soggy field towards Bridge of Allan, Susanna deep in thought about how to close the hole she and Jack had made in the veil. Until Tristan broke the silence:
“Wait.” He stopped dead, causing Dylan to stumble. “Before we celebrate too much, we should check we can’t feel any other wraiths around. I don’t want to risk it.”
Susanna’s stomach dropped. She knew she couldn’t find them without Tristan’s help – they could only detect them together – but that meant…
“Susanna?” Tristan held out his hand, causing Dylan’s face to flush red.
Susanna hesitated, her hands wavering by her sides. There was only one thing to do. She knew it, but that didn’t make it any easier to accept. She had to come clean. She had to confess to Tristan what she’d done – and that she’d lied to him.
Tristan’s hand was still held out for hers, his eyebrows raised in question, and she knew what would happen when they touched. He was never going to look at her the same way again, and Susanna wasn’t sure which revelation would disappoint him the most.
Tears burned as she fought a desperate battle within herself, the cowardly, selfish side of her frantically trying to think of some way, any way, to fix this without losing part of Tristan – his respect, his approval, or, dare she hope it existed, his love.
But there wasn’t a way.
“Tristan, there’s something I need to tell you.”
“What is it?” The look he gave her almost made Susanna change her mind, but she knew she couldn’t do that. It was time to take responsibility for what she’d done.
“I lied to you.” She paused, delaying her confession for just one more moment.
Tristan didn’t fill the silence. At his shoulder, Dylan took a step forward, her expression wary.
“We didn’t come through the hole you made. We made our own.”
Dylan gasped, horror and shock clouding her face. But it was Tristan’s reaction Susanna was waiting for – and he kept his expression blank. Unreadable.
“That’s why you and Jack are bound together,” he said slowly. “Because you used his body to cross over. If you’d just followed us…” He let that thought tail off and Susanna fought the urge to flinch when she realised how simple it could have been.
It was too late now. Far too late.
“Tristan, I’m sorry,” Susanna said. “I shouldn’t have lied to you,” she said. “I just… I panicked. It was stupid, I know it was. And I’m so, so sorry.
“Another tear.” Tristan’s face was impassive.
“I’m so sorry.”
“We’ll have to close it, too. We promised the Inquisitor.” He paused. “And Susanna, you can’t stay in this realm. I don’t know where else you can go, but you’ll have to find somewhere.”
“What?”
“We promised the Inquisitor that we would stop anyone else coming through the veil – not just killing wraiths, but making sure nothing else got through ever.”
“I’ll explain to the Inquisitor,” Susanna swore, almost in tears at Tristan’s cold reaction. He was angry at her, disappointed. And he wanted her gone. “I’ll tell the Inquisitor that the second hole is my fault, that it wasn’t anything to do with you, and we’ll get rid of all the wraiths for good.”
“I don’t think it will matter to the Inquisitor,” Tristan told her. “We made the bargain; it’ll expect us to uphold it.”
“But if I explain, if I take full responsibility—”
“You didn’t meet it,” Dylan interjected. She looked ashen now. “You don’t know what it’s like.”
“Plus,” Tristan added, “it’ll know you can’t take full responsibility. It’s clearly my fault you’re here.” Underneath his anger, there was questioning in his eyes – or was it pity?
Susanna didn’t know what to say. There didn’t seem to be any way to fix this, to undo the damage she’d caused.
“Look,” Tristan continued, “Let’s at least work out what we’re dealing with. Where did you come through?”
“The place where I died,” Jack answered.
“And where was that?” The scathing edge to Tristan’s voice made Susanna wince.
“An alleyway in a small town between here and Glasgow,” she cut in, worried Jack would say something smart.
“Right. Not too far. Let’s see if we can sense any wraiths.” Again, he held out his hands to her – and again Susanna just stared at them.
It was everything she had wanted – sliding her palms over Tristan’s, feeling their fingers interlock – but not like this. Not with Tristan’s censure so thick in the air it was hard to breathe.
Susanna shut her eyes and felt the tingles in her nerve endings as her abilities were amplified by Tristan’s. Dreading what she’d find, she reached out… and immediately shrank back from the thick, oily chasm of darkness pulsing on the edge of her mind.
She opened her eyes as Tristan ripped his hands from hers, his face bone white.
“What’s the matter? What is it?” Dylan took Tristan’s elbow and he immediately dipped his head down to look at her.
“Wraiths have definitely made their way through,” he said.
“Wraiths?” Dylan squeaked. “Plural?”
“A swarm,” Susanna whispered.
“You said an alleyway,” Tristan said, and Susanna understood what he was thinking.
“It was right in the middle of the town,” she replied. Her hand crept up to cover her mouth. “If a swarm has come through there—” She was going to be sick. Images of the carnage a swarm could cause in a populated area flooded her mind. “What have I done?”
Jack only grunted in response to this news. Did he realise – or care – that these deaths were almost certainly their fault?
“Why did you do it?” Dylan asked, drawing Susanna’s attention away from her soul. “Why did you follow us here?”
“I—” Susanna looked at Dylan’s hand wrapped around Tristan’s arm, his body turned unconsciously towards her. She just couldn’t do it, she couldn’t give voice to the secret dreams she’d created. Not when they were crashing down around her. “I made a mistake.”
“Yeah, but—”
“Dylan.” Tristan hushed her with a swipe of his thumb across her cheek. “It doesn’t matter – it’s done now.”
He gave Susanna a sombre, thoughtful look. She wondered whether he’d guessed her reasons, and ducked her head, unable to hold his gaze.
“Tristan, what are we going to do?” Dylan asked quietly. “The Inquisitor’s coming tomorrow.”
“We need to fix it tonight,” Tristan said.
Susanna gave a small nod so that he’d know that she was on board with the plan. Tristan gave her a tiny smile of acknowledgement, but she knew it didn’t change things. It didn’t absolve her.
“It’ll be easier to deal with the hole in the veil while it’s dark,” he said. “Especially if it’s in a public place.”
“But the wraiths,” Dylan reminded him. “Won’t they be more dangerous at night?”
“We’ll have to wait until daylight to deal with them,” Tristan agreed.
“That’s day three, Tristan,” Dylan reminded him.
“I know.” His expression was troubled, but he held her tighter. “It’ll be OK, I promise. I’ll take care of it.”
Susanna wished it was her face he was holding, her he was comforting.
She needed Tristan to tell her that it was OK. She needed him to tell her he forgave her for how she’d used Jack, for how she’d lied to him.
But she knew she didn’t deserve it.