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“WHAT IS IT, lass.” Concerned, he put his hand over hers as she gripped the grass by her side. “What did you just remember?”
Because he was certain Madison had recalled something.
“You were different then,” she said softly, meeting his eyes in moonlight cut by fast-moving clouds. “Quiet and reserved, resolved to being that way if it meant keeping me safe. Us safe.” She blinked back tears. “I don’t think it was just you and me before, Cray. I think we had a family.”
“I dinnae ken,” he whispered, but he did. Or at least for a moment, he thought he did.
She shook her head, clearly trying to grasp onto whatever she had sensed, but it was getting away from her. In part, anyway. “I don’t think I was so quiet either.” She swallowed hard and shook her head. “Not at all.”
He didn’t think so either. Though he wasn’t remembering things as readily as her yet, the dragon peeking around the stone in his dreams had been rambunctious. Full of life. Some might even say looking for trouble.
Her trembling hand calmed beneath his touch, but her inner turmoil remained obvious. So, despite not wanting to talk about it, he continued sharing what had happened with Maeve to keep Madison’s mind distracted. And, he realized, because he wanted to tell her. Needed to.
“In truth, I think Maeve and I fell in love that verra first day sitting by the river,” he went on. “Whilst ‘tis safe to say I didnae have much experience to draw on, I had never felt for another what I felt for her.” He sighed. “Though there was verra little time betwixt our being together and her being cast under a spell to love Aidan, ‘twas the most important time in my life. The most meaningful.”
He paused, expecting the usual rush of anger and sadness to overcome him, but it didn’t when Madison’s fingers threaded with his, and she urged him to go on.
“’Twas almost impossible to believe when Maeve told me she’d fallen in love with Aidan then turned away from me.” He took a swig of whisky, surprised he felt so calm. “I tried talking to her, trying to ken, but she would have none of it. Her heart and soul were with Aidan, and that was that.” He shook his head. “There was no changing it.”
He knew she was tempted to ask what Aidan had said at the time in explanation, but she refrained because there was no point. Fae magic had been at work. So everything that had happened back then was out of their hands.
“Until the day she visited MacLeod Castle years later without Aidan,” he murmured, remembering it all too well. How she had approached him with a curious light in her eyes as if seeking to remember something. As if, reflecting back on it, she recalled how strongly they had felt.
“I didnae ken where she was coming from.” He shook his head. “’Twas as though she sought to pick up where we had left off. As if she were confused by why she had turned from me in the first place.”
“That’s so sad,” Madison whispered. “For both of you.”
“’Twas.” He leaned his head back against the tree. “Yet she persisted, as if, quite literally, she was breaking free of a spell and trying to find her way back to me.” He sighed, still disappointed with himself, but what was done was done. “I tried turning her away, I really did, because I knew she was with Aidan, but ‘twas too hard in the end. I betrayed my cousin.”
“You only followed your heart, Cray.” Madison squeezed his hand, resting their adjoined hands on her lap. “And you were a victim of magic every bit as much as they were.”
“Aye, but still.” He shook his head. “’Twas wrong and I knew it but couldnae help myself...not when she finally came to me after so long...”
She understood what he meant and knew what the results of that had been. More so, she knew what he feared even more than he did losing Maeve in the end.
“Did she know?” Madison said softly. “Did Maeve know she was pregnant when she fell ill?”
“Nay.” He clenched his jaw against the image of her gaunt body wasting away from illness. “I stayed with her until the end, held her hand...” He blinked back moisture, not about to shed a tear now any more than he did then. That was not what dragons did. They suffered through their grief and stayed strong. “Our son’s heart fluttered to life only moments before Maeve’s beat for the final time.”
“I’m so very, very sorry, Cray,” Madison whispered, resting her free hand over their adjoined hands. “I can’t begin to imagine how hard that must have been.”
Yet he sensed deep down in a place she was only starting to be aware of as memories resurfaced, that mayhap she could imagine. That she did know. Or would before this was all said and done.
“Thank you for sharing,” she said softly. “For opening up.”
“You dinnae need to thank me.” He sighed again, realizing how difficult he had made things for her. “’Tis what should be done in a situation like ours.” Yet she should understand what she truly sought when she claimed to want to be with a dragon. “But ‘tis important you ken what to expect should you choose my brother.”
Which she bloody well better not.
“Though Marek hides it well enough right now,” he said, quite serious. “You should know that dragons are by nature, especially lustful creatures.” He shook his head. “We dinnae think like our human counterparts when it comes to intimacy but more like our inner beasts.” How best to phrase this? “’Tis more primal with an inherent need to claim our mates. To make them ours in a way that is not as romantic as what you might be used to.”
“Unfortunately, I don’t know a great deal about romance.” Madison shrugged, considering him, clearly not afraid of a little rough sex if that’s what he alluded to. She did wonder about the bigger picture, though. “So is it mating for life? Or mating as a means to assuage one’s immediate discomfort?”
“Though I’m told it varies with different dragons,” he replied, “for us MacLeod’s and our Viking ancestors, it has only ever been mating for life. Only ever eternal.”
“Eternal,” she murmured. “That sounds like an awfully long time.”
“Aye,” he agreed, having only ever scoffed at the idea despite seeing the love betwixt his parents and grandparents. Yet now he wondered. “Though ‘tis a bit much to believe ‘tis said we have come together again and again since the beginning of dragonkind. Something Tiernan claims is true, having been part of our Viking ancestors’ last war and learning about our homeworld.”
“Our homeworld?” Her brows shot up. “Now that I’d love to hear about sometime.” She chuckled, the sound deep and throaty. Very appealing. “Explains a lot, though.” She winked. “I’ve always felt more than a little alien.”
“And I’ll be glad to share all I know.” He gestured at the water, sensing his brother had come back from hunting. “Mayhap as we bathe, then go eat?”
Madison grinned, making him smile. “Now that sounds like a somewhat, sorta kinda, proper date.” She shrugged a shoulder. “At least given our current circumstances.”
He leapt to his feet and pulled her up. Though more than tempted to start their ‘sorta kinda proper’ date off with a kiss, he held back, realizing that might be too much too soon. So he chanted off his clothes and gestured that she lead the way into the water. “I believe you say, ladies first?”
When her wide eyes swept over him, and her mouth fell open in shock, he realized how incorrectly he had gone about this. They wore something called bathing suits in her time, didn’t they?
“Bloody hell,” he muttered, trying to chant clothing back on only to end up with a plaid wrapped around his waist. How was he supposed to bathe in this?
“It’s okay,” she stuttered, nodding then shaking her head, clearly conflicted. “This is a different era, and we need to bathe, so it’s okay.” She gestured at the sky as the incoming cloudbank finally swallowed the moon. “Besides, it’s dark enough.”
“We see verra well in the dark,” he reminded, working against himself. But somehow he had gone from wanting to have her no matter what it took, to wanting her to want him. Which meant going about things in a less rushed fashion. Or so he assumed. Truthfully, it was new territory for him. He usually took what he wanted, and lasses unfailingly wanted him in return.
“We really do see better in the dark, don’t we?” She eyed her clothing then his plaid. “How did you do that anyway? How do you just chant things on and off?”
“’Tis more of a wizard thing than a dragon thing.” He shrugged. “Not to say dragons cannae do it too...and witches.”
“Right.” She nodded, fingering her clothing as though she wanted to undress but didn’t quite have the nerve.
That’s when he realized what she yearned for.
And it wasn’t what he expected.
“You want to just rip them off with magic and be done with it, aye?”
“I really do,” she managed, blushing. “More than that, I want to be...comfortable with it.”
It took him a moment to understand just what she was getting at. When it finally dawned on him, he frowned, incredulous. “You havenae ever undressed in front of a man, then?”
“I have,” she defended, still fingering her clothing with uncertainty. “Sort of.”
“Either you have or you havenae, lass.” While tempted to step closer and soothe her when he sensed her distress, he held back, knowing his proximity might do the opposite. Though not to such an extreme, her emotional state was almost in as much turmoil now as it had been when she shifted for the first time. She was unsure. Lacking confidence.
Shy in a way that was very telling.
It couldn’t be, could it? Such would be unimaginable considering her beauty.
But he had to know.
“Are you virginal?”
“Lord, no,” she muttered. “Just...well...not as practiced as you.” She shook her head. “Not by a long shot, I’d say.”
“By the bloody rood,” he murmured, recalling all too well his various thoughts when she haunted his mind. How vulgar he might have seemed, especially to an inexperienced lass. No wonder she had been in such a snit. He cringed to think how he had kissed her last night. How terrifying that might have been to a more innocent sort of woman. “How often have you lain with a man, Madison?”
When her jaw clenched, telling him her pride had kicked in, he stepped close and cupped her cheek gently, determined to soothe her. To let her know it was all right.
Though she tensed, she didn’t pull away. Instead, she whispered, “Once...with one man.”
“Bloody hell,” he cursed under his breath. “You should have told me, lass.” He stepped away, not at all sure he should be touching her. “I would have never...”
When he trailed, she saw the truth of it and said as much.
“What? Not acted so sex-crazed with a less experienced woman in your mind?” She shook her head and, surprisingly enough, shifted closer. “I think we both know that’s not true. Honestly, considering the state you were in, I don’t think you would have responded any better if I were a flat out virgin.”
She was right. He probably would not have he was so furious that she was in his mind uninvited to begin with. But how he had acted since? Especially on the horse all day? Aye, he might have.
“No,” she said softly, shaking her head. “This isn’t what I want. This isn’t why I told you.” She swallowed hard and started undressing. “We’re past all that now, Cray. You acted how you felt today, and I don’t want that to stop because I’m so inexperienced...because men didn’t want me.”
“You mean your dragon didnae want them,” he ground out, never more certain of anything.
Determined to be the gentleman he hadn’t been before, he started turning away to allow her privacy, but she stopped him in his tracks.
“Don’t you dare.” She lowered her dress and shift until they pooled at her feet. “I’m not in this for the Cray you think you should be now, but the Cray you’ve been all along. From your sex-crazed mentality to the guy who just bared his heart.” She shook her head, surprising him anew. “I don’t want any other version of you than the one you were right up until I told you about my lack of experience.”
If possible, and despite his trying to be a gentleman and treat her the way he should have from the start, his cock got even harder. But then look at what she had just revealed. Her body was everything he’d imagined and more. Perfectly sculptured just like her dragon, as if designed to fit against his.
“What is it you want, lass?” he said softly, already knowing the answer based on the sweet, musky scent of her arousal.
“You know precisely what I want,” she murmured, as she removed her clip and shook out her hair. Her eyes flared with dragon fire as they stayed with his. “I don’t want to be inexperienced anymore.”
With that, she headed into the water, pausing long enough without looking back to let him know he best follow. So, not needing to be told twice, he tossed aside his plaid and pursued her, more than ready to give her exactly what she wanted.
