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Abbie arrived at her important doctor’s appointment with nervous energy coursing through her veins. She was planning on cancelling, but Charlie coaxed her into going. Abbie didn’t want to hear what she already knew. Her career chances were over. Her daily lack of mobility confirmed her suspicions. Life was already rough. She didn’t need another negative input to impact her already dismal future.
The only positive aspect to her life was Charlie. Sadly, Abbie hadn’t been able to talk to Charlie about their relationship or the future because he was preoccupied with work and his mother. Beatrice decided to stay an extra three days to make sure the business and Charlie’s life was running smoothly. Abbie barely survived the woman’s jagged words and destructive agenda.
The timing of Beatrice’s departure was perfect because Abbie didn’t want to endure Beatrice after her important appointment. She was excited for time alone with Charlie to talk about the future. Abbie knew the news from the doctor would add another layer to their impending conversation.
Abbie was extremely nervous and couldn’t contain her energy. Charlie suddenly grasped her hand to calm her nerves. He was busy flipping through a nature magazine. He always went out of his way to make her feel calm and special. She felt useless and inadequate because she didn’t know how to help Charlie feel loved and special.
Charlie had asked about love languages, but she had no idea what that even was. Abbie didn’t really show or feel love. She didn’t think she was worthy of love or respect, especially if her career was over. Charlie claimed his love language was physical touch and that he felt loved if she held his hand or made an effort to touch his shoulder. Abbie felt nauseous at the thought of touching Charlie purposefully because it wasn’t comfortable. She didn’t like physical touch, so it was extremely difficult to show Charlie the love he clearly deserved. The man deserved a medal for his efforts.
Charlie seemed just as nervous as Abbie about the doctor’s verdict. They had a bee in their bonnet. Abbie took a deep breath as a nurse approached them. The nurse took Abbie’s information including her weight, blood pressure, and medication list. The whole process was mind numbing. Abbie held Charlie’s hand to ensure her nerves didn’t rush off with the nurse. They waited for the doctor to tell Abbie the bad news.
“It will be okay. Even if you can’t fight again, your life isn’t over.” Charlie declared.
“Thanks for the reassurance. I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t fight again though...” Abbie claimed.
“We will figure it out together.”
Abbie sighed and nestled against Charlie’s side. She was happy to have a good support system. Charlie made her feel like a queen who could do anything. Even her father had urged her to do anything she wanted in person and in his letters. Abbie started to think about her father and his letters again. She hoped one day she could read his loving words without bursting into tears and feeling a weight on her chest from guilt.
The doctor entered the room quickly with a manilla folder in his hands. Abbie eyed the folder thoughtfully. She hoped her career wasn’t over. Although she didn’t know if she could handle entering the ring without her father’s training and inspirational presence. He always knew how to talk her down and guide her on the best moves to make.
“Abigail, after examining your file and vital signs I have come to a decision regarding your physical fitness and fighting future. Your body has been healing wonderfully since balancing rest and movement. After some deliberation, I believe you can fight again. You can start light training in six months then work up to your normal fitness level with time. This is a long process so don’t push yourself too hard. Balance rest and movement like you have been.” The doctor claimed. “We will need to see you in three months.”
“Okay... Thank you doctor.” Abbie responded, shock filling her.
“Have wonderful day.” The doctor replied before leaving.
Abbie’s head spun from the good news. I can fight again... I can’t believe this. I can fight again... But what about my dad... I don’t think I can box without my dad. I would have to find a new trainer and a gym. Dad had taken care of everything before, I just had to show up... Even Leroy found a different, less physical job. I was nice to see him at my dad’s funeral, although it was really awkward... I know he wanted to get with me so seeing Charlie was probably hard for him. Abbie thought to herself. Focus Abbie. I get to fight again... What am I going to do? I wonder what Charlie is thinking... Will I end up like my father if I start fighting again? He threw himself into his career without regard of my mom. I don’t want to mess up Charlie’s life by relaunching my career...
Charlie and Abbie left the doctor’s office in silence. Abbie was trying to process the information running through her mind. Charlie seemed preoccupied as well. They entered Charlie’s mustang to drive home. Abbie couldn’t handle the silence filling the space any longer.
“Are you okay?” Abbie asked.
“That’s typically my line...” Charlie chuckled. “I’m okay. How are you doing with the new information? You can have your life back like it used to be...” He seemed to be hiding behind a smile. Abbie knew there was something on his mind.
“Yeah... What are you thinking about? I know there’s something wrong...”
“You caught me. I was wondering if you go back to boxing if I will be part of the picture... I didn’t have a chance with you until your career seemed to be over.”
“Charlie, I was completely consumed with fighting... I didn’t even spend time with my father outside the ring and training. Things are different now. I don’t see you going anywhere. I love spending time with you. You make me feel calm and safe. No man has ever made me feel the way you do... Honestly Charlie, you are the only man who has been able to touch me or tickle me. I wouldn’t just cut you out of my life because of boxing. I want balance like the doctor prescribed.” Abbie smiled.
“Thank you. I really needed to hear that.”
“I meant every word. I don’t say things I don’t mean.”
“I know. Do you want to get some food?”
“Sure. Chinese food?”
“Of course.” Charlie answered.
Charlie drove through traffic to get to the Chinese restaurant. They ate while sharing a pleasant conversation about daily life. Charlie seemed more at ease since Abbie confessed most of her feelings. She didn’t want to tell Charlie her true feelings and love for him because she didn’t want to get hurt. Charlie had shown her time and time again that he wasn’t going anywhere. The death of her father and past history caused her to clam up without showing her true emotions. Abbie was afraid of Charlie leaving from her.
“Babe, did you hear me?” Charlie asked.
“Huh... Sorry. I wasn’t paying attention.” Abbie answered.
“You seem a bit preoccupied. Do you want to talk about it?”
“I just... I don’t know if I want to fight again.”
“Why not? You said boxing is your life.”
“I guess since my father passed away, I don’t really want the same things anymore... I don’t know if I can box again without my father being there to train and support me.” Abbie sighed deeply.
“That’s understandable. The doctor said you can’t train for another six months. Maybe your mind will change by then.”
“Maybe...”
Abbie continued eating and tried to focus on other things. She didn’t want to deal with the future just yet. After they finished their food, Charlie drove them home. Abbie was happy to be home without Beatrice nagging and ruining things. Abbie turned on the tv and tried to think through her next steps in life. It seemed like every step she took backfired in her face. She didn’t want to let her father down by not boxing again when she could. She also didn’t want to get herself into something she couldn’t handle. Charlie was a great supporter, but she didn’t want to take advantage of him.
Over the next six months Abbie got stronger and started training bit by bit. Charlie was a great help. He found her a job an easy job at the floral shop. Abbie started working with Charlie and enjoying life the best she could. She still missed her father and wanted to do right by him. She wasn’t sure if fighting was the best option. Working part time at the floral shop helped take her mind of things and give her a sense of purpose.
Charlie continued to urge Abbie to find something to do. Abbie didn’t understand why Charlie didn’t want her to work at the floral shop. She got acquainted with the computer system and the job helped her to develop customer service. Charlie constantly dropped hints about law school, but Abbie didn’t want to waste her father’s life savings on a degree she didn’t think she was qualified for. It was a posh dream in her mind.
Abbie and Charlie arrived home after work. Abbie cooked supper as usual. They fell into a nice routine although they didn’t really communicate about everything, it just kind of happened. Abbie started attending church with Charlie and trying to grasp God and the sense of salvation. It was really difficult for her to understand and accept a father who loved and cared for her. The congregation was kind and loving, like Charlie. It helped Abbie to heal and overcome life as she knew it.
The gang was still coming after Abbie full force. She got death threats and cryptic letters regularly throughout the week. Abbie was severely scared for her life. The police had talked to her about fleeing New York but Charlie had reservations about leaving. A couple days ago someone broke into the house while they were at work. The walls were covered in spray paint, including the TVs which were smashed along with most of the furnishings. Charlie still wouldn’t leave. It became a regular argument they shared.
Abbie placed supper on the table then sat in her position. Charlie prayed then started eating right away. Abbie noticed a college brochure on the table near her space. Abbie sighed loudly then pushed the brochure away. She started eating although she was really frustrated. She didn’t understand why Charlie was pushing so hard for her to go to college. She was training for the ring, although her new coach was a wimp unlike her father.
“That school looks really good...” Charlie offered.
“I don’t want to go to college. Being a lawyer takes time and money. I am starting to train again so I don’t have time nor finances to spare on a posh dream.” Abbie replied.
“I don’t mind helping you financially.”
“CHARLIE! I can’t keep living off you!” Abbie yelled. “Why can’t you understand? It’s already hard enough to train with my new coach. He doesn’t know how to train me or get me ready to fight.”
“I know you miss your father. I am just trying to help and give you options... I’m sorry.” Charlie sighed.
“What about the option of leaving the city because of the gang? That’s a great option.” Abbie retorted bluntly.
“Abigail, I can’t just leave the floral shop and the life I have here in New York.”
“Right because then mommy will disown you and your whole life will fall apart. Lord knows you can’t experience my life.”
“Don’t talk to me like that. I don’t want to leave New York and there is nothing wrong with that.”
“No, what’s wrong is I had to give up my whole life, but you can’t give up yours for me. The gang is coming after me. I can’t stay in New York. I know you are trying to help me but staying here isn’t helping. I don’t know what to do with my life right now. I miss my dad because he knew how to push me and train me. My career is over since my current coach is a loon.”
“Then we find you a new coach.”
“Charlie, you don’t understand. I have been trying for months to make this work. I can’t fight anymore...”
“The doctor said you can.”
“Yes, he did but psychologically I can’t fight! I lost the one person who motivated me. I can’t fight without my dad.” Abbie cried.
“Then maybe go to college and become a lawyer.” Charlie offered kindly.
“Once again, I don’t have money for that!”
“But WE do. If you want, you can go to college. I am willing to pay for your to go.”
“Charlie, you have already done so much for me. I can’t ask you to pay my way through college. Dad left me money, but I don’t want to waste it on a chance I can’t even take.”
“I don’t mind helping you.” Charlie offered.
“I know you don’t, but your mom didn’t like the idea of me living off you and I don’t either. It’s not your job to take care of me. I have been saying that since day one.”
“Baby, I want to take care of you.”
“Then let’s move. Get away from New York. Start a new life together. You could open a greenhouse and floral shop.”
“Abbie, I can’t just up and leave. We have talked about this.”
“Yes, and yet we return to this conversation time and time again.” Abbie sighed.
“All this because I try to help you.”
“I told you how to help me. This is not helping me!” Abbie picked up the brochure. She threw it at Charlie then ran upstairs to the office. It was her safe space to get away from life and distract herself. Charlie knew not to enter the library when she was having a moment alone. This time he didn’t listen and entered behind her.
“We need to talk about this like adults. You can’t keep running away from me or your future. If you want to stay at the floral shop, fine. I see how you act there but it’s just that, an act. I haven’t seen you smile or be happy once. I know you are trying, so am I.” Charlie sighed. “I can’t leave this house or the city.”
“Why not?” Abbie cried.
“Because my whole life is here! I can’t just run away because someone is chasing and threatening you.”
“Fine!!! Then I will go alone.”
“That’s not what I’m saying. I want you to stay here with me.”
“You said it yourself. They are after me not you. It’s my fault we are in this mess. I will leave the city alone. Hopefully they leave you alone. I can get a fresh start with my aunt or something.”
“Are you seriously considering leaving right now? What about us? What about our future?”
“Charlie, if I don’t leave neither of us will have a future. They will kill us and enjoy every minute. I can’t bear to see you lose your life because of me. My father died because of me. I can’t let the same thing happen to you.” Abbie sobbed.
“Abbie don’t do this. Please. Don’t give up on us.” He cried.
“You can come with me or stay here. I’m calling my aunt.”
“I can’t believe you right now.”
“WHAT!? I’m being logical here. Excuse me that I don’t let my emotions dictate my life.”
“Just dig that knife in deeper. It might just make it easier to leave! Right, Abbie?” Charlie answered, leaving the office.
He slammed the door behind him before stomping down to the dining room table. Abbie started crying harder. She felt useless either way. She knew her career was over and her life with Charlie was a false fantasy. She needed to do the right thing for everyone. She needed to run away to allow Charlie a life without death.
Charlie abruptly showed up at the door. “I was going to give this to you next week. I guess you won’t be around to except my proposal. At least keep the ring to remember me. I’ll help you move to your aunts. Just know, I am always here for you. No matter what.” He left the room with tears in his eyes after shoving a black velvet box into her hands.
Charlie stomped downstairs loudly. Abbie opened the box to see a diamond ring perfectly incased in the box. She slammed the lid shut and resumed crying. She felt pain and heartbreak like never before. Her father’s death was nothing compared to the heartache she felt in her chest.
Charlie was going to propose... He wanted us to get married. I can’t get married right now. I’m so young and the gang is coming after me. The only way to keep going is if I leave. I can’t stay here. Charlie needs a chance at life. I can give him that much at least. He has done so much for me. This is the right thing to do. Abbie thought to herself. She pulled out her cellphone to text her aunt.
Her aunt said she would pick her up the next day. Abbie didn’t bother returning downstairs. She passed out on the office floor after crying all night. She awoke to Charlie moving things around in the office. Abbie stood abruptly and walked downstairs. She knew Charlie was leaving soon for work. She laid in the bed, enjoying his scent for the last time.
“I’m going to work... We can talk more later if you want.” Charlie started to mutter something else. “I love you.”
Abbie started sobbing into her pillow. Charlie kissed her neck before leaving the room. She heard the front door open and close behind him. His mustang engine roared in the driveway. He drove off quickly into the early morning sunrise.
Abbie pulled herself from the bed. She called her coach and told her she quit fighting. She also told the woman she couldn’t coach to save her life. The woman seemed upset, but Abbie didn’t care and hung up on her.
Abbie ended the call with her coach to call the police to inform them she was leaving town. They claimed it was best decision for her safety because they weren’t any closer to bringing the gang down. Abbie asked for the police to watch over the house and Charlie with a close eye. They claimed it was no problem.
Abbie knew her aunt would arrive within an hour. She quickly packed all her clothes and necessary objects. She hadn’t furnished the house with any of her belongings since she couldn’t bear to see memories of her father and her old life. All her personal belongings from her and her father’s apartment were locked away in a storage unit in the safe part of town. Abbie was willing to leave the items behind to enjoy at a later time when she wasn’t a mess.
Abbie had to fight back tears while she tried to pack. The thought of leaving Charlie and the new life they had established was killing her from the inside out. She had never felt so emotional in all her life. Pressure from the gang was too much to handle.
Once her bags were packed and sitting by the door. Abbie ran back up to the office to write Ian a letter. She tried to get through writing without crying up a storm. It was extremely difficult because she poured her heart out to him. When she was finished, she read through the letter to ensure her point was made.
Charlie,
This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. I want you to have a chance at life and happiness. I love you, though I never told you to your face. Because of my love and respect for you, I need to leave. My aunt is picking me up any minute. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to endure a sappy goodbye. That’s just not my thing... I am forever grateful for everything you have done for me. I know you will make a woman very happy someday. I’m sorry I wasn’t the woman you needed or deserved. You have taught me so much about life and relationships. I will always miss you. The police said they will keep you safe. That is my main concern right now. I can’t handle your life being ruined because of me. Maybe we will see each other again one day.
Thank you for everything,
Love Always, Abbie
Abbie wiped the tears from her eyes as the doorbell rang. She ran downstairs quickly with the note in her hand. She left her keys on the dining room table with the note placed under the ring box. She looked at the ring one last time with tears in her eyes. She saw her aunt standing outside the glass. Regret stung her heart.
Abbie opened the door. Her aunt tried to encourage her, but it didn’t help her heart. Abbie locked the door then pulled it closed. She looked at the beautiful house once more before leaving on shaky legs. She stared back at the house while her aunt drove off. Abbie knew her life would never be the same because her career was over, and her heart was completely broken.
