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Charlotte wheeled the Range Rover into the circular drive of her best friend’s house off Polpis Road. While Charlotte preferred the village life in Sconset, her friend, Amy Stephens, and her husband favored a more rural and isolated location for their home on the island. Charlotte liked to tease Amy that it was more of a compound than it was a house. Besides the main home, there was a large barn with an in-law suite, a smaller two-bedroom cottage on the north side of their land, and a substantial pool house that could sleep four if pressed. All of this sitting on over three acres of land with spectacular views over Polpis Harbor. Charlotte, by her nature, was not a jealous person. After all, she had a pretty good life herself. But she had to admit feeling a bit envious of her friend’s situation. Not so much the buildings but definitely the land and the view. She felt like she could sit and stare at the water for hours on end.
“Hey, friend!” Amy cried out from the spacious front porch. “Be right there, just need to get the baby and grab the boat bag.” Amy turned and ran back into the house.
Charlotte smiled and waved up to her friend. Then she turned and looked at Spencer and Sophie. “Now, I need both of you to be on your best behavior today. Okay?”
“Ma-om,” said Sophie in a sing-song voice. “I’m always good,” and crossed her arms. Charlotte smiled at her, “I know you are hon.” She turned to look behind the driver’s seat.
As usual, Spencer’s head was buried in a book. He had been in love with them ever since he picked up his first picture book in his crib. Since he had learned to read, it was not unusual for him to go through several a day. Feeding this voracious appetite had become a bit of a challenge for Charlotte. They would hit the Nantucket public library, The Atheneum, a couple of times a week often leaving with a canvas boat bag stuffed full with books. Fortunately, Charlotte had a partner in crime at the Atheneum with one of the older librarians. She had taken a shine to Spencer and his love of reading and would usually have a list of titles she thought Spencer would enjoy. She had also convinced Charlotte that Spencer was ready for more adventurous and challenging material. On their last visit, she had introduced Spencer to A Watership Down. Although the political and social commentary went well beyond his understanding, he relished the story of a bunch of rabbits looking for a new home and the adventures they encountered along the way. Secretly, Charlotte had hoped that Spencer and Peter could read it together at bedtime as a way to strengthen their relationship. But Peter was off-island so much, and even when he was here, he never seemed to be in the moment. When she had last brought it up with him, the discussion had turned into a nasty fight and since she had let it lay.
“Spencer?”
Spencer looked up from his book, his blues eyes sparkling and his tawny hair showing streaks of blond from his time in the sun and in the water. “Yeah, mom.”
“I need you to be on your best behavior today, okay? This is the first time we’ve been to the beach with Mrs. Stephens and her new baby.”
“Okay,” said Spencer, and he turned back to his book.
Charlotte smiled at him and, for the tenth time today, thanked her blessings to have two wonderful and well-behaved children. She had heard horror stories from her friends about their kids and knew just how fortunate she was with both Spencer and Sophie. She looked up to see Amy walking down the brick walkway toward the driveway, the baby on her hip, and a bag slung over her shoulder.
“Sorry that took so long,” she said.
“No worries at all,” said Charlotte. “I remember those days all too well of trying to get going and having to pull all the baby stuff together.”
Amy opened the rear door balancing Constance on her hip. “Well, it didn’t help that I had to change her diaper at the last minute. She had some fruit for breakfast, and it just went right through her,” said Amy, wrinkling her nose. “And thanks for bringing the car seat,” she said and gently lowered the baby in. After buckling the seatbelts, she closed the door and hopped into the front passenger seat. She looked at Charlotte as she was putting on her own belt. “So, where are we headed?”
“I was thinking of Pebble Beach. Spencer loves to play on the dunes there, and it’s usually not too crowded,” said Charlotte.
“Sounds good.” Amy climbed into the front passenger seat and slammed the door. “Let’s do it!” she yelled playfully.
Charlotte smiled sadly, remembering those same words she had said to Peter last Saturday. She started the car and headed back to Polpis road. Although the beach was only a few miles as the crow flies, there wasn’t a direct route, so Charlotte followed Polpis back through Sconset and then took Milestone out to Tom Nevers Road. She then followed Tom Nevers all the way to the end, past the old Naval station, an active base during World War II, and the site of the 1960s presidential nuclear bunker. It was now mostly a local recreational space that also had one of the best yet least known beaches on the island. Road maintenance had ended with the base closure, so the last mile or so was a patchwork of macadam and dirt pockmarked with deep depressions and large bumps. The Range Rover swayed over them, more than up to the task, and within a few minutes, Charlotte had found a good parking spot, and they unloaded the car.
It was a perfect day for the beach. The sky was a deep blue with just a few wisps of high clouds. The temperature was in the seventies and with low humidity the air was quite comfortable. They followed a path down from the parking area through the dunes and found a flat spot free of seaweed and other beach detritus. Amy spread out a large blanket and unfolded their chairs while Charlotte screwed an umbrella anchor into the sand. She inserted the umbrella into the base and then opened it, providing instant shade. A fresh shore breeze was just enough to keep them cool and frustrate the sand flies.
“Spencer, Sophie,” Charlotte called out. “Let me spray you.” Spencer and Sophie dutifully lined up for their mist of sunscreen. “Now, stay out of the water unless I’m with you. And please, don’t stray too far. Stay where I can see you.”
As soon as Charlotte had finished, they tore off across the sand. Spencer was quickly busy playing with his toy trucks on the dune while Sophie was actively engaged in making a sandcastle from shells and dead sea life. The baby was sound asleep in her little pumpkin seat in the shade under the umbrella.
“This is just about perfect,” said Amy as she settled into one of the beach chairs. She pulled the cooler over and opened it handing Charlotte a seltzer and grabbed one for herself.
“Yes, it is,” replied Charlotte, with just a hint of sadness in her voice.
“What is it?” asked Amy. She had known Charlotte for years and could tell that something was bothering her.
“Oh, it’s nothing, Ames.”
“I don’t believe you. I can tell that something is on your mind. Talk to me.”
Charlotte looked out toward the water. A small flock of sandpipers was skittering across the beach just out of reach of the oncoming waves and stabbing their peaks into the sand looking for food. Gentle swells driven by the breeze, approached and broke a few feet from shore. The waves rushed up the beach, scattering the sandpipers and dimpling the sand. The sandpipers chased the retreating water back toward the edge and renewed their efforts to find a tasty buried morsel only to scatter again with the next breaker. As she watched, Charlotte imagined that the waves and sandpipers had been doing this dance for millennia. And in some way, that knowledge gave her comfort and a sense of permanence.
Charlotte turned her eyes from the sea and looked at Amy. “It’s Peter.”
“Peter? What’s going on?”
Charlotte paused for a minute. “You know, Ames, when Peter and I were first married, it was like a dream come true. We were so in love and so close. We could talk about anything, and it seemed like we laughed all the time. And he couldn’t keep his hands off me.”
Amy looked at her friend compassionately. “And now?”
“And now?” Charlotte scoffed. “It’s just not the same anymore. He’s not the man I married. He’s not the husband or the father I thought he’d be. Hell, he hasn’t touched me in months.”
“Oh, Char, I’m so sorry. What’s changed?”
“What has changed is that fucking company of his,” said Charlotte, angrily. Amy’s face registered shock and surprise at the use of profanity. Charlotte was by no means a saint, but she rarely used that kind of language. “Ever since he bought that company, it has become the most important thing in his life. We just don’t measure up,” she said, gesturing towards Spencer and Sophie. “And he doesn’t have time for us. He usually gets here late Friday, and he leaves first thing Monday morning. And even when he’s here, he’s not. He is on his laptop dealing with email or on the phone with customers,” said Charlotte, her face showing exasperation.
“Have you talked with him about it?” asked Amy, taking a sip of her seltzer.
“Yes, I’ve tried, most recently last Saturday morning. He arrived late Friday afternoon as usual and then proceeded to lock himself in his office and work past midnight. He ended up sleeping in the guest cottage.”
“What, you kicked him out?”
“Actually, no, that was his choice. He claimed he didn’t want to disturb me, but I think deep down, it was easier for him to sleep in the guest room than to come inside and face me. I guess he thought I was going to be angry with him.”
“Well, I wouldn’t blame you if you were,” said Amy.
“At this point, I’m happy to get any time from him. Just some moments to reconnect and feel like a family again.”
“But are you happy with just that?”
Charlotte looked down the beach at Sophie. Her sandcastle was growing with walls and turrets. It looked like she had some crab shells as guards on the towers with larger quahog shells dividing the rooms. She smiled at her daughter’s imagination and turned to Amy. “If I’m honest with myself, then I have to admit that I’m not.”
Amy leaned forward out of her chair. “Then what are you going to do?”
“Peter promised me he was going to put a plan together that would allow him to spend more time with us. So I have to give him a chance and hear what his plan is.”
“And what if it’s just another broken promise?” asked Amy.
Charlotte was quiet and reflecting on the discussion she’d had with Peter on Saturday. “If he breaks this promise, then I think the only logical next step is a separation and maybe even a divorce.”
“Charlotte, no!” exclaimed Amy.
She looked at her friend. “Amy, it’s the only option I have. I can’t spend my life waiting for Peter to show up, and it’s certainly not fair to Sophie and Spencer. They only see Peter a day or two a week if that. And it’s no different when we’re home in Connecticut. He lives at that damn office.”
Amy wasn’t sure how to respond. Charlotte continued, “You know Amy, there is so much more I want to do with my life. And on this island. We’re so lucky and fortunate. I want to be more involved on the island and give back.”
“But if you get divorced?” asked Amy, her voice trailing off.
“Well, it will mean changes for sure, especially here on the island. I might not have the history on Nantucket that you and Peter do, but I love it nonetheless. So a divorce would mean finding another house here.”
“Maybe we could be neighbors!” said Amy, only half-jokingly.
“As much as I’d love to be your neighbor, Ames, I really don’t want to leave Peter or Fernweh. It would tear up the kids, and I don’t want to cause that pain.”
“I know, I was just kidding, sort of,” she paused. “Can you just give him an ultimatum?”
Charlotte looked over at Spencer on the dune, lost in play. “Peter doesn’t respond well to ultimatums. He’d just get pissed off and shut down. That wouldn’t work.”
“So what are you thinking?” asked Amy.
“Well, he’s flying in today for the weekend, and I managed to get reservations tonight at 56 Union. I’m hoping he’ll be ready to talk about his plans. And if not, then I think I need to come clean with him and tell him what I’m thinking.”
“How do you think he’s going to take it?”
Charlotte turned her gaze back at the sandpipers running back and forth across the sand in their continuing dance with the waves. “I think he’s going to be angry, but I hope I can make him see what he’s doing and that he needs balance. And that we can do so much good for this island.”
“Well, remember, I’m here anytime if you need to talk,” said Amy. “If there is anything I can do, please don’t hesitate to reach out.”
“Thanks, Ames. I will. And anyway, let’s stop being so serious and enjoy this day and the weather. Besides, Constance will probably wake up soon, and I’m sure Spencer and Sophie are getting hungry. Ready for some lunch?”
“Sounds good, Char.”
The two friends shared lunch while they watched the children play, the baby sleep, and the sandpipers dance.