Paige White Interview
PRODUCER: Hello, Paige. Welcome to the set. First time, how exciting.
PW: [Smiling, lips together.] Thank you.
PRODUCER: How are you feeling?
PW: Alright. [Wrings her hands together.]
PRODUCER: Are you sure you’re okay? You look white as a sheet. Do you need a moment?
PW: No, no. It’s okay. Let’s get on with it. I mean, let’s do it.
PRODUCER: Well then, why don’t we start from the beginning? Nice and easy. How did you become friends with Zanna Zagalo?
PW: Um. [Pause.] How does anyone make friends? I guess I don’t really remember. I think we got talking at a party. [Chokes a little on her words, frog in her throat.]
PRODUCER: Do you want some water?
PW: [Nods.] I’m sorry. I don’t really know what to say. I’m nervous. I’m not used to cameras and lights and . . . stuff.
PRODUCER: Really? Not even as an influencer? I would have thought it’s all lights and cameras and stuff.
PW: Well, not quite like this. This is . . . different.
PRODUCER: It’s okay, take your time. We can take as long as you need. You don’t need to feel anxious.
PW: Yeah, it’s just, there’s a lot to say. It’s hard to know where to start. There’s a lot to keep track of, you know. Remember. Like, there’s a lot of history, so it can be hard.
PRODUCER: Let’s forget all that and just focus on you and Zanna. What’s the first thing you said to each other?
PW: Oh, I don’t know. [Laughs.] Let me think.
[Long pause.]
PRODUCER: Where did you meet?
PW: I honestly don’t really remember. It’s all a bit of a haze those first months or so of university. Making so many new friends in halls, getting invited to all the parties. Having a little more fun than doing your uni work — if you know what I mean. [Laughs.] But yes, we became very close. Thick as thieves. It was a happy accident that we met. I honestly couldn’t imagine my life now if fate hadn’t brought us together.
PRODUCER: How close were you exactly?
PW: Well, Zanna used to say she and I were soulmates. I’m a Gemini, she was a Sagittarius. Those signs form a very deep bond. Opposing signs. Opposites. Or two halves of a whole. That’s what she told me. Zanna was very into star signs. So, yes. She said we were soul sisters. I never had a sister. I don’t have any siblings. They are opposing signs and opposites attract, don’t they? That’s why we were a good team, Zanna said. God, sorry, I’m rambling, aren’t I? Star signs, how painfully millennial.
So, yeah. We met and then we got on really well so, as we got closer, it made so much sense to work together, to live together, to do everything together. We never really fought. It was so easy — just us against the world. Two girls supporting one another, accepting one another, going after our dreams together. Girl bosses. That’s what we wanted to be. I was so lucky to have a friend like her, I know that for sure. I feel sorry for anyone who doesn’t have a Zanna in their life.
PRODUCER: What was Zanna like to someone who knew her as well as you did?
PW: What was Zanna like? That’s such a hard question. How to describe someone like Zanna . . . It’s like asking you to describe a rainbow to someone who’s never seen one. She was such a force to be reckoned with, you had to see it to believe it.
She made you feel important. She made you feel you could do anything. She lifted me up. She wanted to reach all these starry highs, wanted the most amazing life, and wanted to take you with her. She was fierce and she lit a fire underneath everyone else. She never accepted “no”, she never let anyone tell her she couldn’t get what she wanted, and she made life the best, most amazing, most glittery, most fabulous thing it could be.
Before I met Zanna, so many possibilities in life never occurred to me. She talked about living in multiple homes, she took me on my first holiday abroad and talked the people at the front desk into giving us the suite. We’d be having drinks and the next minute we were off to an exclusive club with some rich guys from the next table over. These things didn’t happen for people like me, with my background. Zanna, she just made things happen, and things happened when you were with her. She was magnetic.
PRODUCER: So tell me, how did you begin working together?
PW: Zanna had read my old blog I wrote when I first started uni. It was full of silly stuff, really. Writing about moving to university, being a journalism student. Urgh, honestly, it makes me cringe to think of it now. [Laughs and rubs cheek with hand.] She said she loved it. Read it over and over. But I was still shocked when she asked me to start writing for her. She said my writing was the best she’d ever seen. Plus, no one knew her better than me. She didn‘t want to be bogged down with the writing side of things. “I need to focus on steering the blog in the right direction, and the visuals,” she said.
At first, she offered to pay me £50 per post for three a week. I was like, hell yes! I was struggling to live on my money from working at a local pub, fitting shifts in between my uni lectures, so an extra £150 was like winning the lottery. [Chuckles.]
For an aspiring writer, just out of university, struggling even to offer their services for free at unpaid internships at newspapers and magazines, this was an amazing opportunity.
She said, “You can put it on your CV. You can say you’re my editorial assistant.” [Shakes her head.] Honestly, the money was unreal, but I would have done it for less. I loved working with Zanna, spending time with her on the blog.
PRODUCER: How did it work? Did you imagine you were Zanna when you wrote?
PW: Erm . . . that’s a good question. Kind of, but then I always let my voice come through. I couldn’t help it, really. And Zanna liked it. She wanted it to feel real, authentic. Anyway, it was easy to write like her, it was like we shared a mind sometimes. She told me: “No one knows me better than you.”
PRODUCER: What did you write for her?
PW: Lots of beauty reviews, mainly. That’s what was really popular at the time, beauty blogging. She asked me to write stuff about her haircare, mentioning a brand she had a deal with. It was exciting, the closest I was getting to any real journalism. When comments came in on the site and Instagram praising the content, I knew those were my words. People were reading what I was saying, caring about it. It felt amazing, honestly.
PRODUCER: What was the experience like? Having your best friend as your boss?
PW: It was so fun! She was the best boss ever, and the good thing about working for your friend is they let you open the prosecco from 4 p.m. on Fridays! [Laughs.] No, seriously, it was the best. The best time of my life.
PRODUCER: And there were never any issues? Any disagreements? I know I’d struggle to work with my friend.
PW: No, there were no disagreements. It was a perfect partnership. That’s how close we were. Working together like a well-oiled machine. How many friends could say they are that close?
PRODUCER: Not many, I’m guessing.
PW: Exactly. You know. Zanna, she, like . . . [Pause.] She believed in me, in my writing. She saw something in me no one else did. Talent, ability. Before Zanna, I was no one. No one cared about me. No one saw me. She was my best friend. I loved her so much. I miss her every day.
PRODUCER: And that is why you have agreed to take part in this documentary?
PW: Yes. Yes, absolutely. It’s a tribute to her. To keep her memory alive.
PRODUCER: And how do you feel about taking part given the speculation around your involvement in Zanna’s murder?
PW: Oh, gosh. [Puts hand to chest.] I feel afraid. I do. Those were some of the worst times of my life. A lot of terrifying things happened around that time, including my own safety being put in danger by people who thought they knew better than the police. Thankfully, I have a great relationship with the police now. They have been brilliant. I’m very thankful for that. For the sake of mine and Shane’s safety.