Angela Zagalo Interview
AZ: Is my makeup, okay? I’m used to doing it myself, I said I could — you know — but they insisted.
PRODUCER: Hello, Mrs Zagalo, how are you?
AZ: Call me Angela, please. Not Ange, though. Ange, I just hate that. Ange. Sounds like a glandular illness.
PRODUCER: It’s often a little nerve-wracking sitting down for an interview for the first time.
AZ: Well, anyone will tell you I know how to talk. And at my age, after what I’ve been through, losing my baby. I don’t feel nervous much anymore.
PRODUCER: Well, no, quite. And we are so grateful to have you here—
AZ: I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. After all, who knows Hannah better than me? A mother knows their little girl better than anyone else ever will. Hannah was my first, my angel. Sorry, Zanna. I know that’s what she went by, but she was always my little Hannah.
It wasn’t an easy labour. Oh no, no. I used to tell her, you made yourself known, darling. I’ll never forget it, because I was trying on shoes and my waters burst all over them, so I had to buy them. She was a few days early, of course, she had to make an entrance. Twenty hours of labour. I told her, you were always wanting to do things on your own terms. We always knew she was special, the minute she lay in my arms for the first time and looked up at me. I said: “Hello, my little superstar. One day you’re going to rule the world. And you owe me £200 for the shoes.”
And she just looked back at me like, “I know, Mummy.”
Sorry. [Cries.]
Yes, thank you. [Taking a tissue.]
Is my makeup running? Do we need a touch-up?
PRODUCER: You look great.
AZ: Thank you. So yes, what do you want to know about her? My darling daughter?
PRODUCER: Well we were curious to know, more so, about your relationship with Paige White.
AZ: Oh gosh.
PRODUCER: There were . . . harsh words at the charity event.
AZ: Not my finest hour. But I was distressed, and . . . well . . .
PRODUCER: What do you think of Paige White?
AZ: She was my daughter’s friend. I thought she was fine. She wasn’t a favourite of mine. She was very different from Zanna. Where Zanna was beautiful and natural, Paige, she had an air of nervousness. She was cold. Not easy to talk to. But it was fine. Nothing personal, until she took over Zanna’s blog after she died.
PRODUCER: Why did that upset you so much?
AZ: [Sputters.] Because it was my daughter’s work. Her face. Her image. It should have been laid to rest when she was. But Paige, she was all too happy to keep it going, in my daughter’s name. It was ghastly, tasteless, tacky, but then what could you expect? Zanna made a mistake when she hired someone like that.
PRODUCER: But, to play devil’s advocate, they were Paige’s words?
AZ: But it was my daughter’s face. Without my daughter, Paige would have got nowhere. And she still uses her name, her fame. Oh, it makes me so angry.
PRODUCER: And did Zanna really discuss firing Paige?
AZ: Yes, she did. With me. She said there had been disputes about whether Paige should get credit — publicly — for her contribution.
PRODUCER: Did you think she should?
AZ: Look, I don’t want to talk about this in the documentary. It’s in Zanna’s memory. How amazing she was. It’s got nothing to do with bloody Paige bloody White. Can I have some water, please?
PRODUCER: Yes, Mrs Zagalo, someone will get that for you.
AZ: Oh, please. I said don’t call me that. I shudder at that name. I’m thinking of changing it but for my girls.
PRODUCER: Oh yes, I’m sorry Angela — your relationship with Santiago . . .
AZ: Well, they say it’s common, you know, for parents of a deceased child to split up. And in this particular case, well, you can understand why I never wanted to see that bastard again.
Even though Hannah was an adult when she died, you never really see your babies as grown-ups — or I never could. Sometimes people say to me, at least she lived as long as she did, but that’s no relief. Parents should never live to see their children die. Never. It’s unnatural.
She had everything coming for her in life and was achieving everything I never could. And then it was all gone. Taken away.
Of course, I have my other girls. I moved closer to them after the divorce. I need my girls around me. And I’m glad Santiago is somewhere I never have to see him again. I couldn’t bear to look at him again, that monster, after what he did to my little girl.