Q: Your novel highlights the deadliness of certain social media platforms. In general, social media is critiqued in a light, humorous, and satirical way in the story, yet is depicted as having the potential for consequences as earth-shattering as Curt’s suicidal demise. Can you discuss your intentions in the portrayal of social media in the book?
A: I believe that social media is not inherently bad or good. It’s a tool, like other technologies we have. It’s still so new to our society and we are learning its effects, both positive and negative. I wanted to keep the FLLW offices and characters bubbly and light—the way social media can be for some—and then use Curt as a contrast from the other end of the spectrum. My intention was to highlight how different social media can feel depending on the individual.
Q: What gave you the idea to use the journal as a tool for creating so much of the tension in the novel, making it the page-turner that it is? What considerations did you have in crafting the suspense your novel generates? Any tips to writers on building suspense?
A: I developed the premise line first, so I knew the basic plot line and the characters. Instead, I had to dive into their relationships and the scenarios that would create suspense while allowing the story to unfold. I knew Alexa and Beth had this secret—well, secrets—but I needed there to be something tangible threatening to expose them. I also had to take into account that most of their trauma happened at childhood, and a journal or diary that housed deep dark confessions seemed plausible for a child. In the first draft, many of the existing scenes didn’t exist. I went back through several times to see where I could ramp up suspense. I think that’s the best advice I can offer; first, write the story, then go back and see where you can flesh it out.
Q: Your book is set in New York City during a time when the COVID-19 pandemic is ending, but its aftereffects can still be felt. Can you share any of your own feelings on why you chose the setting you did, as well as the political climate you chose to anchor the book in? Was the pandemic instability and Alexa’s instability—as well as the general instability of big-city life—an intentional pairing?
A: I chose New York simply based on my love for the city. In many books and films, New York becomes a character. I didn’t want that for this book, but I felt like having Alexa move to the big city would ramp up the anxiety for her character in a subtle but consistent way. I wrote the first draft in 2019 before the pandemic. I spent most of 2020 editing, and one editor I was working with commented that this book would likely come out in a post-pandemic world. I think I’m not alone in wishing we could pretend COVID-19 didn’t happen, but it felt almost irresponsible to write a book that is set post-2020 and act like the pandemic didn’t happen. I also wanted the story to feel contemporary, and for the foreseeable future, we’ll be navigating this new way of life, and Alexa was not exempt.
Q: Alexa and Beth are identical twins. The fascination with twins and their perceived strange abilities has always been a studied element of psychology and is culturally expressed in motion pictures and literary art. Can you speak to this, and your particular interest in twins?
A: I am fascinated with human relationships, specifically family dynamics. I don’t have much experience with twins, but in developing the premise line, I wanted to use duality in a way that was unique. I read an article in which Margaret Atwood spoke of her inspiration for The Handmaid’s Tale. She said that all of the things in the book have happened before, just not all at the same time. This was some of my inspiration to come up with something complicated, but not impossible.
Q: Do you have a preference for Alexa or Beth as characters? Which one of your creations do you relate to more, or have more empathy toward?
A: I have so much empathy for both characters and, not unlike the real world, there are things that annoy me about both and things that I relate to. They are complex characters, who are each fighting their own battle. Alexa is weaker but has a sweetness and naiveté that is endearing. She almost comes off as the underdog you’re rooting for. While Beth is hardened, edgy, and bitchy, she is also loving, fiercely protective, and has a good sense of humor at times. I think readers will gravitate toward one more than the other, but I thought it was important to keep readers unsure of who to trust, rather than to make it clear from the start.
Q: How difficult was it to delay the reveal that Alexa and Beth were conjoined twins, which we discover very late in the story?
A: I knew that I wanted to keep the story fast paced, and in order to do that I needed to keep the major reveal toward the end. So, I don’t feel it was hard for me to keep that secret until late in the story. I think it was harder to hint at it because it was so clear to me, but I’m hoping those hints will throw readers off until the truth is finally revealed.
Q: The character of Beth is a figment of Alexa’s imagination, a result of her personality disorder, brought on by Alexa losing her twin sister when they were nine years old. Yet, Beth is a fully formed character. Can you expound on the challenges of creating a character that is not actually living, yet is a character nonetheless?
A: It was very difficult, probably the hardest part of writing this story. I wanted Beth to have a perfect set of rules, but in the process, I remembered that mental health doesn’t follow any rules. So, I embraced the messiness of writing a fully formed character that was a figment of Alexa’s imagination the same way I interact with mental health—with curiosity and compassion. What may not make perfect sense to one person, may be clear as day to the next. I threw out the rules and let Beth take form the way I imagined Alexa to have created her.
Q: The reader discovers truths gradually as the narrative progresses, and much of what we believe gets deconstructed as we see the contents of the journal. Through the journal, we learn that Beth is not real, and therefore did not kill Alexa and Beth’s mother, Curt, or even the family cat. One reveal negates another, thereby keeping readers on their toes. What challenges presented themselves as you crafted a plot structure containing multiple levels of reveals?
A: I stand corrected, this was the hardest part. Every time I thought I had it clearly laid out in my head, I’d end up confused again. It felt like I was in a giant corn maze, trying to navigate to the finish. I finally took to writing all the major plot events on index cards, and I arranged and rearranged them many times until the path was clear. When people ask me what the book is about, I still pause. There are so many layers, which is exactly what I wanted. I wanted the reader to feel a bit unsteady, the way the characters in the book felt, but it was definitely challenging.
Q: Alexa’s psychologist plays a major role in the book, and though he is a likable protagonist, there is a great deal of ambiguity surrounding the effectiveness of intervention for mentally ill patients. Can you describe your interest in this aspect of the story and/or why you chose to paint his character the way you did?
A: I am a supporter and believer in therapy. However, I think we often look for an easy fix in our culture, and what I’ve learned about mental health is that there may not be a perfect solution. It can be a lifelong process requiring constant work. I don’t look at Dr. Greer as having failed his patients; he sees himself that way because we are all hard on ourselves. But I wanted to keep this story as real as possible, and the truth is that life can be unfair and hard. There isn’t always a happy ending for every scenario or every person. That’s part of the beauty of life to me, and Dr. Greer was the perfect character to show that in a loving way.
Q: How do you feel about punishment for individuals not of sound mind? Alexa is permitted to serve her sentence in an asylum. If she were a real person, should she be allowed to roam free if she were to ever receive an all-clear on her mental health?
A: I really struggled with this. As a true crime fan, it was a reach but not impossible for someone who is deemed mentally unsound to avoid jail time. I thought it was the best option for Alexa, given that we root for her and feel bad about all that she’s gone through. I wanted to keep her hope for a “normal” life alive.
Q: The courtroom scene is very authentic. Many writers need to write plausible courtroom or deposition scenes. Can you tell us how you researched the best way to achieve this effect, or offer any tips to aspiring writers?
A: I watched A Few Good Men and My Cousin Vinny, hoping that my favorite courtroom movies would give me the transcript for a courtroom scene, but unfortunately, I had to conduct quite a bit more research. I read through public court documents online but found most of the help from trial law class role play documents.
Q: Did sibling relationships, either your own or those of people you know well, inspire the relationship between Alexa and Beth? In what ways?
A: I’m an only child, so I have never had that relationship, which is probably part of why it’s so interesting to me. I used what I’ve observed through life and books I’ve read. I think even if you haven’t been in a particular relationship, there’s enough inspiration out there to be able to write about it.
Q: Was there a favorite chapter for you? Was there one that was especially difficult to write?
A: The epilogue was probably my favorite. It was one of the first chapters I wrote. I was so eager to finally let the readers know how awful Curt was. The court chapters were the most difficult because they required the largest amount of research and needed a lot of revisions.
Q: Because of the complex backstory, self-editing was most likely a must in terms of the logistics and making everything “line up.” Do you have any comments on this part of the process? How were you able to deal with complicated chronology and did you do any research on this?
A: Self-editing was nearly impossible. The manuscript changed quite a bit from the first draft to publication, but this was particularly challenging given the complexity. If I changed one part, it was like pulling a thread in a sweater and unraveling the whole thing, so it took a lot of patience and help.
Q: When did you first realize you wanted to write a novel, and what motivated you to pursue this path? Did any books in particular inspire you?
A: I fell in love with reading at an early age and therefore dreamt of writing professionally. As I got older, I pursued different career paths but found writing to always be at the center of what I loved to do. I took an online course in which I learned to develop a premise line, and it was in that class that I developed this story. I knew if I could come up with a good idea, I would take a shot at writing it.
Q: Can you share a little about your writing process? For example, is there anything special that you do, such as keeping journals, writing at a scheduled time, or attending writers’ groups?
A: I really want to have a routine or special hack, but the truth is I’m a binge writer. I’ll sit down some days and tons of pages will come out of me, and then there are times I won’t write for a month. But for this book, I stuck to a plan rather than a schedule. I perfected the premise line. Then I wrote all the major scenes on note cards and arranged and edited until it made sense. Then I wrote everything chronologically, except for the epilogue, which I did first. For the first draft, I worked with an editor whom I sent pages to bimonthly to keep me on track. This was paramount in my success of actually finishing the book, which I have been told is the hardest part.
Q: Who supported you most in your Do You Follow? journey, and how important do you feel that support was? Or was writing a solitary and individual act for you? Do you have advice for writers on how much (or how little) to rely on support (whether from family or beta readers) during the process?
A: Sarah, the editor I worked with for the first draft, was very supportive. Writing can be a pretty solitary career choice in its nature, so having her right alongside me was the team element I needed. I also found the premise line course to be a major part of this as well. The instructor worked with us over the weeks to make sure the premises worked, and his support was probably the reason I decided to give it a shot. So, thank you, Jeff Lyons!
Q: Are you currently working on any literary projects, and can we expect another work of fiction in the future? Alexa is a young heroine, just beginning her life, even if she has found herself in the psych ward. Could you envision writing a sequel in which Alexa has left the mental health care facility and is ready to give New York another stab?
A: This is probably the question I have been asked most by those who have read the book. I had no intention of writing the next part of Alexa’s story, despite knowing that many will want to know what happened to her. I wanted to leave that part up to the reader, continuing with the ambiguity we felt throughout a lot of the book. I’ll have to give it some more thought, but I don’t have any plans to tell the rest of her story just yet. I am working on another project, though. It’s a story about untraditional family dynamics and the effects certain choices have on the paths our lives take.