10

 

Jack retired to his room early. Mrs. Lawson was just as chatty as he remembered, playing Twenty Questions while she pierced him with her signature narrowed gaze. Guilt stabbed him, yet he just didn’t feel up to defending himself while explaining the how’s and why’s of his return—and the fact that he was with Allie in the hardware store. He imagined the newsflash would continue to wind its way through the grapevine with blistering speed. There was no sense in him adding fuel to the fire.

Besides, exhaustion seeped through every pore of his body, though the sweet release of sleep refused to come. It was beyond frustrating, and he tossed and turned in the bed as the last twenty-four hours ran through his head like a bad re-run of a movie.

The dinner Mrs. Lawson had warmed for him—pot roast in rich, creamy gravy with a generous side of baby reds and a hunk of warm bread slathered in garlic butter—stabbed like nails in his stomach. It had gone down easy enough, but the aftereffects didn’t sit so well.

Wasn’t that so much like the willful mistakes he’d made in his life? For way too long, he thought he’d held all the answers and knew best the path he should take. His stubborn pride had left him distanced from everyone—including the only woman he’d ever loved and the Savior who longed to counsel him. Time—and a pallet of heartache—had softened the pride and taught him to bury it and leave it behind.

Jack switched off the bedside lamp, and moonlight streamed through the window he’d left open in the hopes that a cool breeze and the song of crickets would lull him to sleep.

Conscience tugged. Misty had all but shut him out, and he really couldn’t blame her. Now, she was most likely seated at the kitchen table, enjoying a cup of decaf coffee and finishing up the final details of her project after tucking Allie into bed. What was it like to read a bedtime story, to watch your child drift off to sleep? He’d never even considered it before, but now that he’d returned, he wanted more, needed more. It drove him to imagine all kinds of crazy things.

Like a life with Misty. Being near her again rekindled all he’d ever felt. It had been there the whole time, deep inside him, just waiting for a warm whisper to coax it back. He couldn’t imagine spending the rest of his life without Misty—or Allie.

The kid was amazing. It awed Jack that he’d managed to create something—someone—so smart and giving and perfect.

Along with Misty’s help, of course. He could rack up most of the credit to her. She was a great mom; that much was evident. But did it end here…with three people, two homes, and no family?

And could he even manage a family? Where would they live? How would they make it all work? Mike had phoned him three times today with details to handle. Jack had to get back to California soon to close the deal. But how? He couldn’t imagine tearing himself away from Misty and Allie now.

The fact that Jack considered such questions made his gut twist inside out.

Lord, I know how this all started, and I know where I’d like it to end. I also know I don’t deserve it, but I need Your help here. Please, show me what to do through the middle…how to make this all right. I really want to make it right.

The prayer set up residence as Jack drifted, finally, into a fitful sleep.

 

****

 

Misty padded to the coffeemaker and refilled her cup. She had no decaf, only full-throttle, which was most likely the reason her heart stuttered as she added a splash of cream and a half-teaspoon of sugar to the mix. She wrapped her hands around the filled mug, thankful for the warmth.

Lucky yawned and stretched from the corner of the room, where he’d sprawled for a nap. He cocked his head to the side and gazed at her as if trying to figure things out.

Misty felt the poor cat’s pain. Confusion reigned all the way around.

The Web-design project was finished and ready for her to present to Spence Tucker in a handful of hours—thanks to Jack’s generous offer to take Allie to the park. Misty figured, as Jack loaded Allie’s car seat into his rental, that they’d return inside an hour. Surely he’d realize what an enormous undertaking having a soon-to-be six-year-old actually was, and he’d come running back in surrender. But they’d stayed gone most of the afternoon and into the evening. He’d even called to check in and let Misty know they were OK. She appreciated that. Even so, she knew he had a job to get back to in California. She’d expected him to board a return flight by midnight.

But Jack didn’t—he hadn’t. He was sleeping across town at the Lawson’s Bed and Breakfast, staying in Mill’s Landing for at least another day. The very idea sent a wave of warmth, coupled by a shiver of dread, through her. How could her emotions be so conflicted?

With the design project finally completed, the weight should be lifted from Misty’s shoulders, and she should, right now, be REM deep in the throes of sleep.

But sleep refused to come.

Maybe the call from her mom had something to do with it. Mom hadn’t said, “I told you so.” Hadn’t even hinted at it. She wasn’t that way. Still, her words lurked in Misty’s heart. How many times, since Jack first left, had her mom tried to coax her into contacting him, asserting there may have been some kind of mix-up or misunderstanding? Misty had refused, time and time again. Now, she understood just how steep was the price of her stubbornness—and pride. She could blame Jack all day long for his absence. But she knew she carried the lion’s share of responsibility, as well.

And Allie had suffered dearly as a result of Misty’s willfulness. When Misty should have surrendered to God’s will, she’d relied only on her own.

Could He ever forgive her, and could she learn to trust His will in all of this, now?

Misty stepped through the French doors overlooking the back deck and leaned into the rail, letting the cool breeze kiss her face. The mountains, veiled in moonlight, rose to hug a sleepy horizon while fireflies danced along the pasture. Misty was swept up in the beauty of the night. She’d always loved it here in Mill’s Landing, had felt a tug on her heart that just wouldn’t let go.

Could she let it go now, if it meant sharing a life with Jack and giving Allie the family she deserved? She’d always leaned on her own perception of what was best for her and Allie. Control—her need for control in everything—was a daily struggle. Perhaps it was time to surrender that control to the One who truly knew the desires of her heart. Even if it meant swallowing her own pride…as well as whatever doubts and insecurities remained.