Finally Katie could stand it no more. She was exhausted getting up at five thirty to put on her makeup and do her hair so that Owen could more or less ignore her at the bus stop. It was time to bring things to a head. Stanley, who now thought this was his permanent new routine, was waiting patiently by the front door at ten past six, lead hanging down from either side of his floppy mouth. Katie made sure she had change – eighty pence, she thought it was, and then, of course, another eighty pence for the return journey. She didn’t think she would have to pay for the dog. Owen would have no escape: when he got on the bus so would she.
She picked up her mobile, which she had turned off last night, and decided not to switch it on again. Stephanie had been leaving messages for her, which had made her nervous. It wasn’t what she said, all of which sounded perfectly friendly, it was the way she had said it, the strain Katie could hear in her voice, the almost imperceptible undertone of annoyance. And Katie knew why. Stephanie would be cross with her that she hadn’t consulted her before she phoned the surgery. She had meant to ring her about it but when she’d had the idea she’d just had to get on and do it. She had always been impulsive. Besides, she’d had a feeling that Stephanie might disapprove and try to talk her out of it. Stephanie had been disapproving a lot lately. And, anyway, as far as Katie was concerned, Stephanie would never have told her what had happened to the dog if she hadn’t subconsciously wanted her to do something about it. She’d leave it a few days before she called her back, let her cool off a bit.
She flapped along the lane in her pink flip-flops, her long skirt trailing a little in the dirt. Owen had once said to her that he preferred earthy women, not like his ex-wife Miriam, with her blow-dried hair and her clicky court shoes. He liked women who were concerned with more important things than their appearance or, at least, the cost and label of their clothes. Real women. Women, he had intimated, like Katie, nurturing, maternal, soft. Today she had left her long hair down, curling round her shoulders. She wore the dangly silver and jade earrings he had admired once and a halter top with no bra, which was maybe pushing it a bit at her age but which was sure to get his attention. It was cold out so she put her baby pink hoody over the top. She could take it off just before she rounded the corner by Owen’s bus stop.
As it was, she was early and he wasn’t there, so she had to walk round the block in order to be casually passing when he arrived. The timing was crucial – too early and she would have to go round again, a minute late and he’d be on the bus and out of sight. As she came back round she caught sight of his green padded jacket and her heart jolted. God, she really had it bad. She took a couple of deep breaths to calm herself. Look casual, she thought.
Owen was gazing fixedly up the road in the direction the bus would be coming from. ‘Hi,’ she said, to get his attention, and he turned round slowly, not exactly looking, she thought, either surprised or pleased to see her.
‘Hi,’ he said, in a flat voice, and turned away again, obviously expecting her to keep walking.
OK, she thought, this might be harder than I was hoping. She sat down on the wooden bench next to him. ‘How have you been?’ she said.
Owen turned round to face her reluctantly. ‘Fine.’
‘I miss our sessions,’ Katie said. ‘I was wondering if you’d thought about coming back.’
‘I don’t have time.’
‘I do evenings now. And weekends. I’m opening up a proper spa in the old vet’s surgery.’
‘Good for you,’ he said, sounding genuine. ‘I know that’s what you’ve always wanted.’
He was definitely thawing, Katie thought, even if he hadn’t bitten her hand off to come back for more acupuncture. The bus rounded the corner and Owen stood up. Katie stood too, change in hand.
‘Well, ’bye then,’ Owen said, as he boarded the bus.
Katie followed. ‘Oh, I’m coming too. I’ve got something I need to do in town.’ As soon as she’d said it she realized how lame it sounded. What in the world could she have to do in Lincoln at half past six in the morning? ‘Swimming,’ she added quickly. ‘I’m going to the leisure centre. They open really early, these days, for people before they go to work, you know.’
Owen looked at her sceptically. ‘With Stanley?’
‘He waits outside. They have a bit where you can leave your dog …’ She tailed off. It sounded ridiculous. She was so obviously lying. Owen sat at the back of the bus and she sat down next to him. She had him captive for eighteen minutes. She decided to go in for the kill.
‘Actually, Owen, I was thinking I should take you up on that offer of dinner.’
‘Dinner?’
She couldn’t work out if he had really forgotten or if he was being deliberately obtuse. He was still angry with her, obviously. Maybe he just wanted to make her suffer a little.
‘You said you wanted to take me out to dinner – don’t you remember? To say thank you for being patient while you paid me back.’ Owen had been pushing envelopes of cash through her door regularly – always when she was out – and only had another twenty pounds to go before his debt was cleared completely.
‘You and James,’ he said. ‘I offered to take you and James out to dinner.’
God, he was being difficult. ‘Well, obviously that’s not going to happen now. So I thought you could just take me. It was me you owed anyway,’ she added, sounding a bit sharper than she’d meant to. Why couldn’t he just say yes?
‘Sorry, Katie, I don’t think my girlfriend would like it.’
Katie felt as if she’d been punched. She tried – almost successfully – to keep the shock from showing on her face. ‘Your girlfriend?’
Owen smiled a smile so nervous that she knew he had worked out exactly how much this would hurt her and was worried by it. ‘Danielle Robinson. She lives in the village. Do you know her?’
Katie did. Danielle Robinson was a plain, inoffensive girl – well, woman actually, she was in her thirties – who worked at the doctor’s surgery. Surely offered a choice between her and Katie, Owen wouldn’t hesitate.
‘Oh, well, I’m sure she’ll understand. It’s not like you’re engaged or anything, is it? I mean, how long have you been seeing her for?’
‘A couple of months,’ Owen said, and Katie nearly fell off her seat. Two months? All this time she’d been getting up at half past five and prancing about in front of Owen at the bus stop he’d been seeing someone else? ‘And yes,’ he continued, ‘she would understand because she’s kind and caring and not at all possessive, but I still wouldn’t feel right about it. Sorry.’
‘But she’s so … ordinary,’ Katie blurted out. This was ridiculous. Owen had always had a massive crush on her, she knew it.
He looked at her pityingly. ‘God, Katie, what’s happened to you? I always thought you were such a sweet woman. I’m sorry for everything you’ve had to go through, I really am, but don’t let it change who you are.’
They sat in silence for a few minutes and then Katie got up and rang the bell.
‘I thought you were going to the leisure centre,’ Owen called after her, as she made her way down the aisle.
‘I’ve changed my mind,’ she shouted back, pulling hard on Stanley’s lead to make him hurry up.
Once off the bus she crossed the road looking for where she could get the bus to take her back to where she had come from. How dare he lecture her like that? What did Owen, of all people, know about how to be a good person? The man who had thrown his wife’s Moorcroft vase through her conservatory window and done God knows what to a joint of pork. The man who had confided in her that he was harbouring elaborate fantasies about how to get back at his wife and her lover. In an instant her crush on him had dissipated and she felt sick thinking of how she had chased after him so blatantly.
She reached into her pocket and pulled out her mobile. As soon as she turned it on it beeped. Another new message from Stephanie, saying, ‘Call me.’ It must have arrived after she had switched off the phone last night. Then it rang telling her it was her voicemail. She listened long enough to hear Stephanie’s voice and then turned it off again. She didn’t need this now.