Chapter Nine

 

 

 

How could everything that had seemed so right last night suddenly seem so wrong this morning? Rory shook the frying pan with unwarranted ferocity, trying to concentrate on what he should be doing rather than the oppressive presence of his houseguest. Thanks to her, he hadn’t slept a wink last night, his body tormented with physical urges, his mind wrestling with emotions he had no hope of making sense of. And those images of her sleeping alone in that big, inviting double bed had kept him tossing and turning in his own bed.

More than anything, he’d wanted her to stay over. He hadn’t thought beyond that, in fact all rational thought had deserted him. That was the effect she had on him. Last night he’d wanted her with an intensity that surprised him, but it was more than that. He knew, in Molly, he’d met the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, but was he just kidding himself. What did he really expect would happen this morning? The little bubble they’d created was bound to burst. Molly would be going home soon and he was jetting off to America tomorrow. He had no idea if or when he might see her again.

He chewed on his lip, wondering how things had gone quite so wrong. Telling Molly how he felt about her had been a mistake. Not that he hadn’t meant every word of it, but he realized it was far too soon for her. He’d seen the terror in her eyes and the last thing he’d wanted was to scare her away for good.

His career had been his number-one priority for as long as he could remember and moving to the States for work, a long-held dream. He hadn’t been short of film roles to date, but if he wanted to take that next notch up the career ladder and bag the huge blockbuster parts, then he really needed to move to LA, so his agent advised him. And he’d always told himself that when the time was right, he’d make that move. It wasn’t as if there’d ever been anything to keep him here. Not until now. But the thought of leaving Molly behind was absolutely devastating. The thought of her even walking out of his apartment in the next hour, not knowing if he would ever see her again, was messing with his mind.

An undercurrent of tension bristled through the kitchen, the silence hanging above them like a rain cloud. He’d never been lost for words in Molly’s company, but now his vocabulary had clean deserted him.

“Breakfast for Madam?” he said, laying her plate on the table with a flourish, trying to inject a lightness of tone in his voice, which was desperately missing from his soul.

“Thanks,” she said, looking as though she’d been presented with a bowl of gruel. She stared darkly at the plate in front of her before pushing it away. “I’m really sorry, Rory, but I think I must have overdone it on the champagne last night. I don’t think I can manage this now. I’m feeling queasy. Sorry.”

His gaze traveled her face. Her paleness, which usually lent a touch of ethereal fragility to her appearance, just made her look weary and anxious. Her eyes, which normally shone with an intelligent curiosity, were dull and lifeless. Her disappointment was tangible. Her disappointment in him spiking the atmosphere.

“Let me get you a glass of water.” He jumped up and dashed over to the sink, knocking over some pots on the draining board in his haste before returning a moment later.

“Here you go,” he said, hovering beside her, anxiety clouding his every movement.

“Thanks.” She avoided his gaze, twisting her body to one side, marking out an invisible barrier between them. “If you don’t mind,” she said, taking a sip of her water before sliding off the ridiculously tall stool, “I think I’ll get my things together and make a move. I’m sure you’ve got plenty to be getting on with, if you’re going away tomorrow.” Her tone was sharp, the edge to her words unmistakable.

He cursed inwardly. He hadn’t meant to upset Molly, but clearly she was miffed. All she’d done from the moment he’d met her was tried her hardest to find him a potential wife and he’d thrown it all right back in her face. He was obviously the client from hell. Unreliable, unhelpful and now about to do a disappearing act to the other side of the world. No wonder she was silently fuming beneath that calm exterior.

She’d accused him, many times, of not having his heart in this whole process, but that was unfair. When he first walked through the bureau’s doors, his mind was set on finding a partner, someone to settle down with. Even he realized he couldn’t carry on as he done for the past ten years, partying too hard, drinking too much and flitting from one woman to another just to satisfy his basic needs. He was on a path of self-destruction and if he’d carried on that way he would probably have ended up in rehab or worse. His career in ruins.

He’d been a fool to believe that it would be easy, that he could remain in control over the whole process.

He certainly couldn’t have reckoned on meeting Molly. That’s when all his best-laid plans went to pot. From the moment he set his eyes on her, he’d been fascinated and intrigued, and hugely captivated by the small, gorgeous redhead with the warm brown eyes and quirky personality to match. So captivated in fact that he’d lost any interest he may have had in any of the dates Molly put forward. If he’d believed in such a thing, which he didn’t, he might have said he fell in love at first sight. It was that powerful. An emotion he’d been fighting ever since. An emotion he simply couldn’t trust.

“Molly!” He placed his hands on her shoulders, stopping her in her tracks, looking into dark, sad eyes, which were watching him warily. “Everything I told you last night was absolutely true. The minute I walked through your office door, I was smitten. I’m sorry I couldn’t help it! I never wanted to go on any of those dates. I only did it to keep you happy. I should have said something, but I didn’t know what your reaction would be. I sort of got the impression you thought I was an arrogant asshole.” He raised his eyebrows at her and she gave no indication she was about to refute that impression. “All I wanted was to keep on seeing you. It gave me the best excuse.” He smiled, hoping she would return the gesture, but she could barely lift her gaze to meet his eyes, yet still his body felt the familiar swell of desire at her feminine softness in his arms.

“I’m sorry if I’ve landed this on you, Molls. But I know you feel something for me too. Why won’t you just admit it?” He reached his hand out for hers, but she refused the offer. “I don’t see why we couldn’t just start over, just you and me, and start dating. What do you think?”

“No, Rory.” She gave a sigh of exasperation, her shoulders slumping in defeat. “You might think you feel that way at the moment, but it would never work. Not when you’re always jetting around the world with so many temptations about you. You’ll find someone who will be able to cope with that sort of lifestyle, but that’s not me. I couldn’t cope with the uncertainty, worrying if you’ll be falling in love with your latest leading lady or if you’re drinking again. I mean if it’s true what you say, then you fell for me pretty quickly. What’s stopping you doing that with the next woman who comes along?”

“Oh, Molls, don’t you see, that’s exactly my point.” This time he grabbed hold of her arm and spun her found to face him. His clasped her face in his hands. “I know all this has happened quickly, but I’ve had dozens of leading ladies and I’ve never felt this way before about any of them. You must understand that. You’re in the business of love, Molls. And whether you like it or not, I’ve fallen in love with you.”

“How long are you going for?” Her voice came out in a low whisper.

“I’m not sure, but I’ll contact you, let you know.”

His stomach churned uncomfortably, the untruth hanging heavily in the air. Weeks, months, years, at this moment he didn’t know for how long.

He reached out instinctively, finding the stray strands of red hair that fell over her face, and he pushed them behind her ear. Even in a dreary tracksuit that hid all her delicious curves and without a scratch of makeup on her face, she still managed to look utterly beautiful. Natural and captivating in a way that the highly groomed and buffed to perfection women he was used to dating could never quite manage.

“Molly,” he repeated, knowing he had a hundred and one things he wanted to say, but finding the words elusive. However strongly he felt for the gorgeous woman in front of him, he couldn’t force her to feel the same way too. Maybe his imminent departure to America was a good thing. It would give them both the space and time to reflect on what had been a heady few weeks.

He dropped his hands to his sides, biting on his lip in frustration.

“Thanks for coming last night,” he faltered, the words sounding trite and insincere to his own ears. “I really appreciated having you there. Honestly, it was probably the first time I’ve really enjoyed one of those occasions.”

Her mouth twisted in half a smile that didn’t reach her eyes and her expression was flecked with confusion, which tugged at his heartstrings. He swept his thumb over her cheekbone and in that split second he knew there was no going back. He should have taken a step backward, said his goodbyes and let her walk away, but those urges and emotions he’d been fighting for so long kept him deeply rooted to the spot.

“I should go,” said Molly, dropping her gaze, taking that step backward for herself, putting some distance between them.

“Okay,” he muttered, but there was no conviction in his response. He grabbed hold of her hand in his, the resultant electric charge sending shivers through his bones.

It was the last thing he wanted. All he wanted was to kiss her again as he had last night. His body and soul were reaching out for her, yearning for her touch, but deep now in his heart, he knew he had to let her go. She needed someone reliable and dependable, someone who would never let her down. Molly wasn’t fling material. Someone to enjoy a thrilling few months with, before they both moved on to the next best thing. For the lucky man, she was for keeps. For a lifetime.

Hell, Rory had waited almost a lifetime to find his soul mate. Why shouldn’t he be that lucky man? He’d be damned if he was going to walk away without a fight. Molly might not realize it yet, but he could be everything she would want him to be and more. It was just convincing her of that fact that was the problem.

There was so much unfinished business between them, so much business they hadn’t even started on.

“We need to talk,” he said, not knowing how he would ever find the words to describe his strength of feeling. He could barely make sense of it himself, let alone try to explain it to the woman in front of him, who was the cause of his inner turmoil.

He leaned forward, tipping her chin up with his finger, eager to see the expression in her eyes, wanting her to witness the longing in his eyes. And if she could now see his desire and hear it in his quickened breathing, feel the strength of it in the tension of his body, he saw reflected in her brown trusting eyes the same flame of desire flickering expectantly at him. Words escaped him, but he leaned down, leaving the gentlest of kisses on her lips, relishing the sweetness of her taste on his tongue. The air between them sizzled with electricity. For a moment he pulled away to see her looking at him accusingly, before her features melted into acquiescence.

Fervently, he pulled her into his embrace, his mouth finding her lips again, kissing her more urgently this time. His whole body thrilled with passion and desire as his fingers ran through her hair, making fistfuls of her luscious red locks, as he heard an almost imperceptible moan of pleasure escape her chest.

“Oh, Molly,” he whispered in her ear, drinking in her delicious scent, knowing there was no going back from this point. He wanted to hang on to the moment, to make it last for as long as possible, never wanting to let her out of his reach again. In his embrace he felt her respond, as he knew she would, the tension she’d held rigid in her arms seeping from her body at his touch.

Their breathing quickening in unity, he pulled away for a moment, holding her at arm’s length to look into her warm brown eyes, which were alive again, brimming with desire, holding a magnetic force within them. They stayed like that for a moment, entranced, neither of them wanting to break the spell, before Rory noticed the flash of panic wash over her features.

Her cheeks flushed, her eyes bright, she straightened herself, running her hands through the hair at her temples.

“I have to go, Rory,” she said, her voice cracked with longing. “I really have to go.” She dropped her gaze and pushed him to one side, seemingly desperate to escape.

 

“Molly, wait! You can’t go now.” He grabbed hold of her wrist and spun her around to face him again.

“No,” she gasped, her whole body pulsing with adrenaline, desire and complete misunderstanding from his touch. All her nerve endings tingled with pleasure and the proximity of his overwhelming masculinity caused a wave of heat to soar from the depths of her stomach, up through her chest, flaming the length of her neck and cheeks. Her legs were in danger of giving way beneath her.

In her head, she’d been wrestling with the news that Rory was going to America, for how long he didn’t seem to know. Disappointment had lodged in her heart and in the back of her throat and all she’d been able to think was that she’d have no reason now to phone him or to email him or to sit in on one of those infuriating meetings when he seemed to take pleasure in being as evasive and flirtatious and downright contrary as he could possibly be. And she realized then that however much he annoyed and irritated her, she’d secretly relished those intimate times spent alone together. Now she’d have no excuse to contact him. And once he disappeared to America, she knew that he would be lost to her forever, and whatever his protestations now, she suspected he wouldn’t give her a second thought once he was over the other side of the Atlantic.

How could he be telling her in one breath that he was completely crazy for her and in the next that he was leaving for America? It was so unfair! And just as she was mulling over this new information and wondering where it left her and how she would cope with a huge Rory-sized hole in her life, he’d kissed her. Again. A small, warm, sweet kiss that took her breath away.

Then when he kissed her again, it was anything but sweet. His body, hard and firm, pressed against hers made her weak with desire and when her lips parted involuntarily, heeding no caution to the voices shouting their warnings in her head. He bombarded her mouth with hot, searching kisses. If he hadn’t been holding her in his arms, she thought she might collapse on the spot. It was only the realization that she’d been about to walk out the door, not knowing if or when she might see him again, brought her up short.

“What are we doing, Rory?” Her breathing was labored, her tone accusatory as she turned her back on him, not wanting to meet his gaze, not wanting to see the fire there. His hand found her shoulder, but she brushed it aside, knowing if she felt his strong arms around her again, all her resolve would slip away. She spun around, making fists with her hands on her hips, forcing herself to look him in the face. Too close, way to close. She took another step backward, wanting to run, wanting to put as much distance as she could between herself and Rory, but the magnetic pull was almost too powerful to resist. His deep blue eyes roved her face beseechingly and the wide, generous mouth, the one that had delivered such exquisite kisses, was set in a seductive smile. His huge frame, which seemed to have magnified tenfold in the last few moments, blocked her escape.

Rory laughed ruefully, shaking his head in mock despair, a huge sigh of exasperation escaping his lips.

“For someone who’s supposed to be an expert in matchmaking, you really have no idea, do you?”

“What?” she said, heat fanning her cheeks, a tight coil of anger unwinding in her chest. Humiliation bristled on her skin. Why hadn’t she just kept on walking, out of that door and out of his life forever?

“Why are you fighting this thing? How did you ever expect to find me a wife if you can’t see the most obvious signs right under your nose?”

Fire burned up her skin as tears pricked at the back of her eyes. She bit on the inside of her cheek to fight away the emotion bubbling beneath the surface. Okay, so she may have screwed up her personal life, but no one was going to tell her she hadn’t made a success of the bureau. When Paul had left, she’d put her heart and soul into that business, working twelve-hour days to make it into the flourishing company it was today. There were dozens of happy couples who could testify to the fact. Who the hell was Rory, telling her she couldn’t do her job? She dug deep.

“You’re being very unfair.” Kissing her had been unfair. His tall, broad frame standing over her, his gaze sweeping the length of her body caressing her from a distance was unfair. “I did everything I could to help find you a bride, Rory. I introduced you to some lovely girls. It’s hardly my fault that none of those girls could meet your high expectations.”

Rory let out a huge sigh of exasperation.

“I know you did. But that’s exactly the problem, Molls, it is your fault. You were the one person who came up to my high expectations. I didn’t need to look any further once I’d met you.”

She gasped audibly, hating him for his easy charm, hating the way it made her feel. Hated the way her body was reacting treacherously to what he was telling her. His words sounded so convincing and seductive, but she couldn’t trust him. There was a trail of discarded broken hearts in his wake that was testimony to that fact. Now, she looked him squarely in the eye, unable to avoid the amused glint hovering there.

“No, Rory, don’t. There’s no point to all of this. You’re going to America. You’ve made it clear you don’t want to use the services of the marriage bureau anymore. We won’t need to see each other anymore. Is there really anything left to say?”

Her heartbeat thundered and her cheeks flared with heat.

“Oh no, you don’t,” he said, grabbing her masterfully by the arm. “We have plenty left to say to each other.”

He pulled her closer toward him, clasping her face in his hands.

“There’s this.” With his dark, brooding eyes full of intent, his lips found hers, kissing her with an intensity that sent ripples of pleasure the length of her body.

She had no defenses, all her strength seeped out of her into Rory’s arms, her mind quickly giving up on trying to make sense of what was happening, but simply surrendering to the moment. His arms around her were strong, managing to feel both secure and wildly dangerous at the same time. His scent of raw physical masculinity was as unfamiliar as it was seductive.

“Rory?” she gasped, as they paused for breath, looking into each other’s eyes for answers.

“I’ve wanted you ever since that very first day when you rudely woke me up in your office, looking like an angel, a very sexy angel admittedly.” He shook his head as if conjuring up an image that was almost too tempting to contemplate. “Honestly, I didn’t know what had hit me. I still don’t. I’ve spent every waking moment since and a fair few sleeping moments too, thinking about you. I’ve been far too distracted by you and your funny little ways to even think about going out with anyone else.”

Was it true? She’d spent a lot of time thinking about him too, but that was because he was her most difficult and demanding client. And an international heartthrob to boot. What woman wouldn’t have had their head turned? And his heartthrob status was never more apparent than this morning as he stood in his boxers and T-shirt, the outline of taut, defined muscles clearly visible beneath the tight cotton fabric. With a will of their own, her fingers ran down the front of his chest as if checking that her eyes weren’t really deceiving her. A smile of satisfaction appeared on Rory’s face.

His mop of dark brown hair fell carelessly across one eye and the shadow of stubble across his jawline, that moments before had brushed roughly against her face, lent him a dangerous, cavalier air.

Of course she’d entertained ridiculous fantasies about kissing Rory, imagined what it must be like to be his girlfriend, but that’s all it ever was in her mind, a fantasy. She couldn’t believe for one moment that he would have any feelings for her.

And now here she was acting out every woman’s fantasy. In Rory’s swish penthouse flat. She caught a glimpse of her body in the clothes borrowed from Rory, only wishing the wardrobe department had gone to more trouble for her starring role.

She’d allowed herself to nurse a full-on crush, but what he was saying now, the way he’d kissed her, simply didn’t make any sense. The way he was looking at her too, as though he might devour her again at any moment, but this time, with no respite, was making her head woozy.

“I don’t have funny little ways,” she said weakly, not knowing what else to say.

Rory threw back his head and laughed.

“Oh, but you do, Molls.” His loosened his hold, picking up her hands in his and planting a kiss on her fingertips. “You’re so closed off that you won’t let anybody in. Certainly not me. You hide behind the bureau and your self-imposed company policy, rules and regulations to even notice when someone shows an interest in you! What exactly do I have to do to make you realize what I feel about you?

She scowled at him, trying to make sense of his words.

“Hell, you didn’t even realize that the drippy guy from the office was besotted with you when it’s plain to see by everyone else.”

“Aaron is not drippy,” she said, feeling a pang of loyalty to her friend, still unable to believe he harbored any feelings other than friendship for her. She turned away from him, his masculine proximity almost too much to resist. “But that’s beside the point,” she said, not wanting to even contemplate that thought now. Too many other disturbing images and thoughts were swarming her head. The thought of Rory thinking about her for all these months. “All I wanted to do was my job to the best of my ability. To find you a wife like you asked me to. This has never been about me. I’m sorry if you feel I’ve been closed off, as you call it, but I have to keep an element of professional distance from my clients. I can’t be falling in love with them all.”

Rory shrugged, a smile lighting up his face.

“I’m not asking you to, Molls. I’m only asking you to fall in love with me.” He held his arms open, offering himself up to her.

Her insides swirled at his easy charm, at the way his words flowed effortlessly and seductively. At that moment she hated him for standing there looking like God’s gift, as though no woman could ever possibly resist him. Flirting was second nature to him, she’d known that from the very first day she’d met him, but this was taking it to a whole different level.

The trouble was that it was everything she wanted to hear, making her insides molten with desire, but she fought the feelings threatening to take over her body.

“Ha, don’t be ridiculous,” she said, sounding much brighter and much more in control than she felt. “I would be totally the wrong type of woman for you.”

“How do you know that if you won’t even give it a chance? You’re presuming you know what it is I need from a partner, but really you haven’t got a clue. You tried to fix me up with a research scientist whose idea of fun is scrabbling around on mountains, remember? Don’t you think I would know better than anyone who would be suited for me?” There was a smile on his face, but she caught the admonition in his voice.

“I was only doing my best.” She sighed, pools of heat prickling her cheeks. “Our lives are poles apart, Rory. You’re jetting off to America for goodness knows how long, but my life’s here in London. It would never work.”

“We could give it a try. You could come with me.”

“What?”

“Come with me to America. Just think how fantastic that would be. I know we could make it work.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said, outraged by his arrogance. “I have a business to run. I can’t simply pack my bags and go to the other side of the world on a whim.”

Rory dropped his head, gazing up at the ceiling, a sigh escaping his lips.

“So it’s true,” he said resignedly. “You’re not a romantic at heart.”

“It’s not about being a romantic. It’s about being realistic.” And however tempting Rory’s suggestion was, she knew she could never in a hundred years do something like that. Spontaneity wasn’t her strong point and if she were being honest with herself, what Rory was suggesting scared her completely witless. “It’s all very well you saying these things now, but what happens five years down the line when you meet and fall in love with a beautiful actress on set? Or you give in to the drink again and go back to your old ways?”

“Molly, that’s never going to happen. I’m in love with you. For today and forever. It’s all I’ve ever wanted and now that I’ve found you, I’m hardly likely to throw it all away on a whim. And as for the drinking, I’ve told you, there’s no way I’m going back there. But honestly, Molls, there are no guarantees. None of us can predict what’s going to happen in the future. When you fall in love, it’s a risk you have to take. I’m definitely prepared to take that risk for you. I only hope you can find it in your heart to do the same for me.”

“Oh, Rory!” It was everything she’d ever wanted too, but the hurt she carried from the past hovered over her shoulder. She needed to get away, to try to make sense of what Rory was telling her.

She dashed off to the bedroom, quickly gathering up her clothes and stuffing them in her bag before facing him again.

“I think it’s best if I leave now, before…” Before she said something she might regret. Or worse still, before she did something she may regret by giving into the heady temptation assaulting both her mind and her body. Before her life changed forever.

She took a deep breath, glancing at her watch. “Have a good trip, Rory.”

Rory’s brow furrowed, displeasure flickering across his features.

“Fair enough. All I ask is that you think about what I’ve said. I should be going too,” he said, a resigned tone to his voice. “I need to drop Bella off. “

Molly sighed inwardly, disappointed at his casual abandonment of the moment. A light had gone off in his eyes and he made no further attempt at persuading her otherwise. It was game over as far as he was concerned. On to bigger and brighter things.

“I’ll give you a call.” He didn’t even try to kiss her this time. The tenderness and longing that had been so evident in his features earlier had been replaced with a mask of impassivity.

“Sure,” she said, not believing him for one moment, knowing that this was a final goodbye, that their paths were unlikely to cross ever again. She sucked on her lips, determined not to let Rory see her gathering tears. “Have a good time, won’t you?” The words almost caught in her throat.

Molly’s stomach clenched with anxiety and longing. Even before she walked out the door, she knew she’d made the wrong decision.