“WHAT crawled up your ass and died, my man?” Kyle thumped Adam on the back. “Boys are saying you’re being more of a shithead than usual. That’s saying something, considering you’ve been slowly turning creampuff on us lately. What spurred the abrupt about-face? Trouble in paradise?”
Adam shot a glare over his shoulder before refocusing his attention on the speed bag. He pounded his fists into the leather and sand with punishing force. “Fuck off.”
Kyle chuckled and leaned a hip against the metal frame of the speed bag platform. He watched Adam mistreat the equipment for another couple of minutes before giving his shoulder a shove. “Talk to me, Adam. You’re gonna wind up hurting yourself if you don’t calm the fuck down and give yourself—and the gear—a break. That poor bag’s gonna need restitching when you’re done with it.”
Grunting, Adam stepped off the platform. Sweat poured down his body, and his muscles—all of them, not just those he’d recently abused at the bag—screamed for reprieve. But he didn’t care. What the fuck else was he supposed to do? He couldn’t go home. Hell, he couldn’t even stop moving. If he did either, Bo haunted his mind.
Adam hadn’t heard from him for nearly twenty-four hours after leaving him at the airport. He’d left at least half a dozen frantic messages before Bo had finally called. He’d apologized and said he didn’t have a cell phone charger but had borrowed one of the nurse’s long enough for a half charge.
Then in a hollow, dead voice, he’d updated Adam on Lulu’s situation. She’d been involved in an alcohol-related car accident. Thankfully, she hadn’t been the driver, so she faced no legal repercussions, but her injuries were serious. She’d remained intubated in the intensive care unit following a six-hour surgery to address internal bleeding. Another surgery had been planned after she’d further stabilized to repair a fractured femur bone.
That was two days prior. Adam hadn’t heard a peep from Bo since. He’d called and left one more message, this time assuring Bo not to worry about finances. He told him to consider himself on indefinite vacation until Lulu was all healed up and promised to send three months’ salary in advance to make sure he had funds while he stayed in Cali.
If it were up to him, he’d send Bo every cent in his account and take the next available flight so he could be there to support him in person. But for the time being, all he could do was play by the rules. Bo didn’t want that kind of help from him, even if he wanted to give it more than he wanted the air he breathed.
Adam snatched his towel off one of the metal arms on the structure holding the speed bag. He dried his face and the back of his neck before tossing it over his shoulder and rounding to glower at Kyle. “Mind your own business, old man.”
Kyle frowned. “I’m sorry, Adam. I feel responsible. I was the one who pushed Bo on you. Maybe I should’ve left well enough alone. I just wanted you to be happy.”
Sighing, Adam pinched the bridge of his nose. “I was happy. Am happy. It’ll be okay. Bo’s dealing with something right now, and I’m feeling helpless. Once he gets through it, we’ll be back to the way we were. I gotta get through this shitty period. Then it’ll be good again.”
Kyle nodded, but the frown didn’t leave his face. He gave Adam’s elbow a squeeze. “I give your ass shit, but it’s outta love. You know that, right? I’m here if you need me. I can even get mushy if that’s where you’re at. We can have a few beers and discuss all your fears, maybe even shed a few tears.” He beamed. “Check it. I’m a poet and didn’t even know it.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Adam couldn’t stop the grin tugging at his lips. “You’re a real piece o’ work. If I—” He stopped and spun on his heel. Across the room, the cheery boy-band ringtone he’d assigned to Bo blared from his cell. He’d kept his phone on full-blast volume ever since Bo left, something he rarely did. But he wasn’t about to miss his call.
Adam bolted through the gym, sidestepping his sparring mate from the day before, who worked on his jujitsu moves with his trainer on a mat between Adam and the lockers. He skidded to a halt in front of the bank of open cubbies most of the guys kept their shit in and grabbed for his bag.
By the time he dug out his phone, the screen flashed a missed call. He cursed and called Bo back, praying to a god he didn’t believe in that he’d answer.
“Hey.”
Adam swallowed. Bo’s voice was so small and distant. He sounded defeated. Broken. Done. “Hey, babe. How’re you doing? How’s Lulu?”
“She’s okay. In a lot of pain, but mostly out of the woods. They’re keeping her pretty drugged up.”
Bo sniffled, and Adam imagined him huddled into a corner of a cold hospital room, hugging himself. Adam wrapped an arm around his own waist, wishing he could hold Bo. Wishing he could take some of his pain. “Is there anything I can do?”
He almost tacked on a do you want me to come out there? but knew better. If Bo wanted him, he’d ask. If not, it would be pressing a subject Bo had already made clear he had no interest in.
“Actually….” Bo sighed. If possible, his voice grew even smaller. “I was calling to see if you’d ship me my things.”
Adam sank onto the wooden bench in the locker area. He kept his back to the gym behind him. “Tell me what you need and I’ll have it overnighted. I can send you more money too if you need to buy anything while you wait.”
A long, painful silence stretched before Bo finally cleared his throat. “I appreciate that. Really, Adam, thank you. But that’s not necessary. Pick the cheapest option and I’ll pay you back, okay?”
Closing his eyes, Adam nodded even though Bo couldn’t see. He wouldn’t push him. Not here, not now, not on something they could iron out later. When Lulu was better. When they were back together. “Okay, sure. What do you need? I’ll get it out this afternoon.”
Again that bone-chilling, agonizing silence ate up the airspace between them. Bo let out a slow, shaky breath. “I need everything. I… I’m quitting. I-I’m not coming back.”
“You’re not….” Adam’s throat closed. He pressed to his feet, his knees wobbly as he stumbled toward the bathrooms. He had to get away. He couldn’t break down in public. Especially not to the epic degree he was about to. “You don’t have to quit. I told you in my last message, I told you that you could take vacation. For as long as you needed. For as long as it takes to get Lulu better.”
“I-I’m sorry, Adam.” Bo’s words came out broken and strained. “But I have to stay here. I have to focus on Lulu. Not just through her healing, but after too. She’s struggling. With life, with school, with everything. She needs me. I… I’m staying here. For good.”
Adam rested his forehead on the closed bathroom door. He pressed a hand over the ache in his chest. Tears gathered at the corners of his eyes, but he blinked them back. He couldn’t let Bo know how much he hurt. He didn’t deserve the guilt that would bring. He was doing the right thing for him and for Lulu, and that’s all that mattered. Bo didn’t owe Adam anything. He wouldn’t let his own pain cause Bo to believe otherwise. He’d be strong for them both. “I understand. If you text me the address, I’ll have everything shipped today.”
“Okay.” Bo’s voice was barely a whisper. “Thank you, Adam. I’ll send you a check to cover whatever the shipping costs are plus the money you advanced me. I just need a few weeks to find a job. I-if that’s okay?”
Clenching his hand into a fist, Adam laid it against the bathroom door where he wished he could punch a goddamn hole through the flimsy particleboard. Instead he schooled his voice to an even keel. “As far as I’m concerned, you’re on family medical leave, which is a federally mandated labor law. Take advantage of it for a while, okay? Don’t get a job right away. Lulu needs you.”
Bo huffed out a breath. “That only applies to businesses with fifty or more employees.”
Damn obstinate mule.
A laugh bubbled up Adam’s throat and broke on a sob. He tried to play it off with another mirthless chuckle, praying Bo hadn’t caught his moment of weakness. “Don’t be a pain in my ass, Bo. If nothing else, do it for Lulu. Swallow your stubborn pride and let me help. Just this once. Okay?”
Adam braced himself for another sharp, painful bevy of words that would break him.
Instead Bo sighed and whispered, “Okay.”
It only took Kyle about five minutes after Bo hung up to pound down the door. He found Adam on the floor in a puddle of his own sweat and tears. The exact opposite of the beastly image he demanded Adam portray.
Rather than conspire to empty the gym so Adam could sneak out unnoticed or develop some other over-the-top plan to hide Adam’s weakness, Kyle crouched on the ground beside him. “I think you’ve put in a solid day’s work. Whataya say we pile into my Jeep and head back to your place? There are some IPAs in your fridge calling our names.”
“Might wanna give me a minute.” Adam wiped the back of his hand over his cheek. “Can’t go out there lookin’ like this. The Beast doesn’t cry, after all.”
Kyle scoffed and slapped a hand over Adam’s shoulder. “Fuck ’em. The Beast can do whatever the hell he wants. After beating the record for longest title streak in the history of the UFC, it doesn’t matter what you do. Your opponents shit their pants at the thought of climbing into that octagon with you. Whether you show a little human emotion or not, they’re still gonna leave brown streaks in their drawers.”
Adam snorted and allowed Kyle to pull him to his feet and straight into his arms. He only hesitated a moment before returning the hug and burying his face into the crook of Kyle’s neck. Fresh tears threatened, but he bit them back. “Bo’s moving to California. He isn’t even coming back to get his things. He asked me to ship them to him.”
“Oh, Adam.” Kyle pressed a strong hand to the back of Adam’s head, rubbing the other in a soothing circle over his shoulder blades. “Fuck, I’m so sorry.”
Adam shrugged but didn’t move from Kyle’s comforting, fatherly hold. His dad would never deign to show such physical or emotional support—especially not in public—but Kyle had never shied away from it. He was the father Adam had always wished for. The father his own had never been.
And that’s who Bo was to Lulu. Adam couldn’t forget that. Maybe he wasn’t the father Lulu had always wanted, but he was the only parental figure she had left. He was her rock, her soft place to fall when things got shitty. It made sense for him to be close if she was struggling with life. Adam couldn’t fault Bo for the purity of his love for his sister, nor could he even consider asking him to change his mind.
What’s done was done. Bo was no longer in his life, and he needed to find a way to accept that. Sooner, rather than later.