AARON’S HANDSOME FACE lit up as the bell rang and older children began pouring into the school yard.
‘Here they come.’ He jumped out of the car and strode over to the school gate, where a cluster of parents and older siblings waited. Stella exited the car too but loitered near the back of the waiting crowd, feeling as if she needed a hat and some dark glasses to conceal her identity.
Did anyone here know her? Or were the prickles of apprehension dancing over her skin merely a reaction to the fact that every moment spent with Aaron seemed to bring them closer together? Make him more relatable, more complex and more human than her stamina could endure.
As he had talked about his son, his expression and the tone of his voice, even his body language shrouded in vulnerability, she’d struggled to tear away her gaze. Stella understood his sentiments and concerns with every beat of her heart. She too had loved a little boy with the ferocity of a parent, even though they hadn’t been biologically related. Aaron’s clear devotion to his son had brought the feelings rushing back until she could barely breathe.
For a few indulgent but foolhardy seconds Stella welcomed the memory of that other little boy, from another time: Angus. The soft, silky tickle of his fine hair against her face, the adorable toddler scent that she loved to inhale—a combination of baby shampoo, playdough and banana—the innocence of his trusting embrace, his small arms clinging to her neck as if she’d never let him fall, hurt or even cry.
She couldn’t bear to think that the toddler she’d loved as fiercely as if he were her own had pined for her, even for one second.
When Harry had abruptly called things off via a cold, unapologetic text listing the reasons she knew were lies—that she was too young for him, that he needed to put his son first and try to make it work with Angus’s mum—she hoped for the two-year-old’s sake that Angus hadn’t missed her one jot, certainly not with the soul-wrenching grief she’d experienced for him.
With the pain fresh under her ribs, Stella willed the bittersweet memories away, blinking at the sting of tears. Angus hadn’t been her little boy, even if, for a while, she’d felt as close to him as she had to his father, Harry, the man she’d fallen head over heels in love with that final year she had lived in Abbotsford.
She cast a furtive glance around to see if any of the locals were looking her way, but all she saw were the large number of interested glances cast in Aaron’s direction by the mums at the gate. One even hugged him and dragged him into her little huddle of chatting parents with an air of ownership that had others rolling their eyes.
Before Stella could examine the hot flush of jealousy, there was a bustle of small people, a cacophony of excited squeals and the collective triumphant waving of art in the air as the younger classes emerged.
Aaron crouched down to the eye level of a little boy with sandy blond hair the exact shade of his own, a golden field of corn or the very honey-toned stone that made this region famous.
Stella’s stomach did flips at the vision. They were so alike. And she had been correct in her prediction that fatherhood would increase Aaron’s sex appeal.
Warm currents shifted low in her belly. Aaron the man and doctor was hot enough. The addition of his fathering skills placed him beyond tempting, a combination potent enough to make any red-blooded woman get in line for a shot at bagging a hot daddy doc.
But not her. She had no intention of bagging anyone. If only her body understood that where Aaron was concerned.
She should have headed back to the practice. Not only would she have avoided the discomfort of wanting to tear at his clothes, but also sharing this seemingly innocent everyday moment with Aaron felt like an intrusion somehow, as if she was inappropriately elbowing her way into his life the way her accusers had claimed she’d done with Harry.
Aaron turned to seek her out, his face still wearing the indulgent smile for his son. He waved her over.
Stella tried to pull herself together as father and son spoke for a few minutes. The boy glanced in Stella’s direction, thrust both his backpack and creative work at Aaron and ran off across the playground towards the rear gate of the school, which bordered rolling fields that lead to Bennett Manor.
Stella joined Aaron, her pulse tripping over itself despite her attempts to stay aloof and unaffected, to deny her attraction, which grew more and more rampant by the hour. Becoming emotionally embroiled was something she normally avoided by only casually dating. It kept her distant so that she didn’t feel or grow attached. In Stella’s experience, which was admittedly limited, feeling only led to pain, inexplicable rejection, isolation.
‘He likes to exert his independence by racing ahead,’ said Aaron in explanation as they fell into step, side by side, following behind a highly energetic Charlie.
Stella breathed a sigh of relief that Aaron hadn’t made a big deal of her presence, and that Charlie hadn’t peppered her with a hundred questions on who she was and why she was accompanying his father on today’s walk home from school.
She certainly had no answers for the boy. This might be the stupidest thing she’d ever done. Hadn’t she learned her lesson with Harry and Angus?
‘He is full of beans.’ She smiled despite herself. She didn’t want to feel anything for Aaron or his no doubt adorable son.
Pride shone in Aaron’s sexy grin. Of course, it only heightened the blue of his eyes and dimpled his cheeks. She needed a barrier to his potency, a distraction, and she needed it fast.
‘Does he take after your wife?’ she blurted, more as a reminder to herself that Aaron was likely still in love with Charlie’s mum.
He shot her a side glance, his face falling but quickly recovering as if he was well versed in discussing his loss.
Stella winced, hating that she’d voiced the first thing that came to mind. ‘I’m sorry—I heard about her death at the time, from my parents.’
A flare of shame heated her cheeks, because she knew all too well how it felt to be talked about. ‘It’s a small village. Like I said, everyone hears about your business, don’t they?’
‘I guess you’re right about that,’ he said. ‘And thank you. Did you know Molly?’
Stella vaguely recalled a tall woman with amazing glossy brown hair and a wide, infectious smile. ‘Not really. My mum liked her; said she had a great eye for interiors.’
Aaron’s lips curved, a return to that smile that made him instantly approachable, engaging and oh, so kissable. So inappropriate, given he was talking about his wife, the mother of his child.
Aaron glanced at Charlie, who had his arms outstretched like an aeroplane and was swooping back and forth across the field. ‘He has her zest for life and her sense of humour.’
Stella tugged her coat across her chest against the dampness of the impending dusk, which had seeped into her veins.
She had once imagined that she’d found that type of connection, lasting love with Harry. Yes, she had been young, just turned eighteen when they met. But she’d fallen hard and become starry-eyed for the slightly more mature twenty-three-year-old who had driven a battered old Land Rover and would stand in the rain waiting for her to finish stabling Gertrude just so he could give her a lift home.
He’d swept her off her daydreaming feet, and when he’d confessed that he’d had a two-year-old son she’d been excited to meet adorable Angus. They’d spent so much of Stella’s after-school time together that Stella had fallen in love with both of them. Twice the risk equalled twice the pain when it had ended and she had found herself instantly excluded, alone and grieving.
Then the rumours had surfaced. The gossip. How young selfish Stella had tried to steal Harry and Angus away from his ex, a woman Stella had never met, never even thought about, because Harry had never mentioned her. When he had dumped Stella, the truth emerged, Harry cruelly confessing that he’d never stopped sleeping with Angus’s mum all the time he and Stella were together, and that they wanted to give being a family another try.
Stella had felt used, stupid, immature, as if for Harry she had been nothing more than a distraction, a stopgap, a way to make Angus’s mother jealous and want him back. The worst part had been that Harry had simply dropped his bombshell and moved on, reunited with his ex and picked up where they left off as if Stella had never existed. As if her deep feelings, her love, were irrelevant. As if she were a nobody.
Realising that she’d fallen silent and that Aaron was watching her, she picked up the conversation. ‘It must still be hard for you at times. Does he ask about his mother?’
Aaron nodded, his eyes darkening with shadows. ‘There have been one or two tricky moments. Mother’s Day, birthdays, Christmas. Other children’s simple curiosity, prompting Charlie to think that he’s different. I struggle with that.’
Stella’s sentimental soft heart clenched for Aaron and his son. Children were naturally inquisitive and quick to sense that they stood out in any way. No matter how blessed and privileged your life, human beings were designed to fear exclusion. Stella knew what it felt like to be a curiosity here. To be the recipient of pointed fingers and whispered unfair judgements.
‘And of course, being a single parent, I’m paranoid that I’m doing it all wrong.’ Aaron glanced her way. ‘How is my dad-ranking on the village grapevine?’ His mouth was tugged by that self-deprecating smile she’d come to expect as predictably as the sunrise.
She reluctantly looked away. ‘I think you’re doing all right. I’ve never heard a bad word spoken about you. And you seemed fairly popular with the village mums back there.’
He tossed his head back and laughed. ‘You’re not jealous, are you?’
Stella found herself grinning at the delicious sound of his glee. Then she rolled her eyes. ‘As if.’
‘You sound disappointed that I’m not some deplorable villain.’ He waggled his eyebrows and Stella couldn’t help but laugh, too. He was right. It would be easier for her wayward desire and her Aaron crush if he acted a little more despicably.
‘Just because we’re two very different people, who want different things, doesn’t mean I don’t respect you professionally,’ she said.
‘Well, that’s a start, I guess.’ His mouth twisted in a half-smile.
Stella’s gaze latched on to his sensual lips, increasingly erotic images of them kissing sliding through her brain.
In lieu of an ice-cold shower, she needed an antidote to his magnetism.
‘Do you mind me asking how Molly died?’ She didn’t want to cause him pain, but there was a professional curiosity that she knew he’d understand. And more importantly, the fact that he was likely still grieving, still in love with his wife, should help keep her rampant hormones in check.
‘I don’t mind,’ he said, his lips pressing into a flat line. ‘It was a long time ago. She went into cardiac arrest soon after delivering Charlie. She’d barely even held him.’
Shocked, Stella stopped walking.
He raised his chin as if girding himself to utter the words, his stare strained but unguarded. ‘Amniotic fluid embolism.’
Stella reached for his arm the way he had comforted her yesterday, horrified for such a tragic and unfair loss. ‘I’m so sorry. That’s rare, isn’t it?’
Aaron nodded. ‘They managed to revive her, but she never regained consciousness after the arrest.’ His gaze fell to her hand on his arm as if disturbed by her touch.
‘That’s awful. Tragic.’ She dropped her grip and started walking again, putting a few feet of distance between them so that she could breathe, pull herself together and stop thinking of him in a sexual way.
Their steps synced once more. This time Stella made certain to keep her distance.
‘She was transferred to ICU,’ he continued as if forcing himself to continue the tale. ‘She died two days later.’
Chills gripped Stella’s frame, her empathy and compassion drawing her to him to a dangerous degree. She hugged her arms across her chest, floundering and, for the first time in years, fearful. For herself, for how easily she could become embroiled in her feelings where Aaron was concerned.
‘I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry again.’
Aaron shrugged, but Stella saw his pain lurking behind his eyes, which seemed to display his every feeling. ‘It was a horrible time, obviously, but I couldn’t dwell on the tragedy, the bloody waste and unfairness of it all with Charlie to look after.’
Stella swallowed, gazed over at his profile. He glanced sideways and offered her a sad smile. ‘Don’t worry; we’re okay. Charlie and I are a team. Boys Club.’ He raised his fist and pumped the air.
She smiled, trying not to remember how she had once been a part of Harry and Angus’s team. Until she hadn’t. Because it had all been an illusion. A joke where only she was ignorant of the impending punchline.
‘And we are lucky in so many ways,’ Aaron continued. ‘That’s the message I try to instil in him. He has many people who love him, and he lives in a wonderful place to grow up.’
‘It is that.’ Stella’s smile stretched, a flood of nostalgic childhood memories warming her through.
For the first time in ages Stella indulged her imagination of her own future and how it might look. She’d spent so long avoiding emotional entanglement in order to protect herself, she’d never given much thought to her desires for a family. Did she truly never want children of her own? Did her job, a job she loved, really provide enough to fulfil her? Would she always be content with big-city life, even when her friends started to settle down and perhaps move away to raise their own families?
She had once wanted all of those things until Harry had belittled and humiliated her, forcing her to change.
She became aware of Aaron’s gaze.
‘Earlier, you gave the impression that you might have experienced village gossip in a negative way,’ he said with a compassionate smile that made her feel exposed.
‘Mmm, just teenager stuff.’ Stella reared back from sharing too much. She’d kind of assumed that everyone, including Aaron, knew her business. But even in the few days she’d known Aaron on a closer personal level, rather than from afar, she deduced that he wouldn’t toy with her emotions. He was too kind, too upstanding, too honourable.
With a sigh she hadn’t realised she’d held inside since she first drove past the Welcome to Abbotsford sign, she offered him half an explanation. ‘I was young. Naive. The ex I told you about yesterday—stupidly I fell in love. Trusted the wrong person. Made a fool of myself.’
‘None of which are crimes,’ Aaron pointed out with a small frown.
‘No. But sometimes guilt or innocence is irrelevant, especially when the tale is juicier when the facts are omitted. But that’s ancient history.’ She tried to change the subject away from her. ‘I’m not a heartbroken eighteen-year-old any more.’
‘So you left Abbotsford amid a cloud of rumours. I can understand how that hurt, but you should know that I’ve never heard any of this before. I hope that reassures you that maybe the past is where it belongs.’
Of course, respecting people’s privacy was a vital part of his role as a GP, but she had come to understand that discretion and integrity were inherent facets of Aaron’s personality.
‘I’m sure you could ask around for all the details,’ she said absent-mindedly. ‘There are probably lots of people who recall the scandal.’ She made air quotes around the last word, with bravado. The last thing she wanted was for him to see her in a negative light, not when she worked for him and when her feelings for him were so conflicted.
‘If you want me to know you’ll tell me.’ He stepped closer so that their arms almost brushed.
Something intimate passed between them, as if they were the only two people in the world, trading their deepest, darkest secrets. As if they could become friends.
Except friends didn’t want to know how their chums looked naked.
Stella cleared her dry throat, kept her eyes front.
They approached the low stone wall that bounded the house where Aaron had grown up. Stella had only been inside once for a Christmas party where all the village children had been invited to meet Father Christmas underneath the biggest Christmas tree Stella had ever seen.
She paused at the gate, clinging to her self-imposed boundaries. ‘I’ll...um...wait here for you.’
Aaron turned to cast her a speculative gaze. ‘Okay, although you are very welcome to meet my parents. They’ll probably remember you.’ He smiled so that she knew he meant because she had grown up here rather than because she was still an infamous homewrecker.
Before she could make an excuse, Charlie came running from the back of the house towards them.
‘Daddy. Grandma made spaghetti for dinner, my favourite.’
As if he’d completely forgotten Stella’s presence, Charlie peered up at Stella from behind his father’s muscular legs.
‘Who are you?’ he asked in that direct way that only small children could pull off.
‘My name is Stella. I work with your dad.’
I also fancy your dad something chronic.
Charlie’s blue eyes widened and his chest puffed out. ‘My daddy is a doctor.’ He stepped from behind Aaron’s legs and struck a series of martial-arts poses as if fighting an invisible villain.
Stella hid her delight behind pressed-together lips.
‘Are you a doctor too?’ he asked, as if remembering that she was still there, an unknown grown-up who warranted investigation.
‘Yes, I am.’ Stella nodded, trying to unsee the undeniable resemblance, including matching dimples when they smiled, between father and son. Despite Aaron’s concerns, Charlie was clearly a confident, well-adjusted and imaginative little boy, and, as Stella had predicted, adorable.
Her heart gave an involuntary lurch that she wanted to run away from.
‘Are you kissing my daddy?’ Charlie asked out of nowhere, as if this was a perfectly reasonable question for a new acquaintance.
Stella flushed hot, no doubt displaying a fetching shade of beetroot red. Could they both see how much she wanted to kiss Aaron? How the thought endlessly occupied her fantasies?
The man in question merely emitted a low, indulgent chuckle at his son’s question.
But then his eyes met hers and time seemed to stop.
He arched an eyebrow, his eyes full of challenge. This was probably the look that had once lured all those pretty nurses to succumb to his charms, leap into his sports car and attend his infamous house parties.
She looked away from Aaron’s intense, very adult stare. ‘Um...’ Awkward.
‘No, I’m not.’ Her skin prickled, too hot, too aware, too close to the man who clearly still possessed all of the moves.
Oblivious to the stifling cloud of lust and panic engulfing Stella, Charlie continued his explanation as if for the dim-witted adults present. ‘My friend Johnny said ladies and men kiss. That’s how they get babies.’
Aaron’s eyes once more locked with Stella’s as she issued a nervous laugh. He obviously shared her mirth, his mouth twitching in that sexy way that felt like a secret, unspoken adult communication.
As if granted permission to think about exactly how adults made babies, Stella acknowledged in a rush that she absolutely wanted to have sex with him.
Oh, no, no, no.
Could Aaron tell the direction of her thoughts and how turned-on she felt?
‘Johnny doesn’t know everything, Champ,’ said Aaron, his intense stare still holding her captive as he ruffled his son’s hair. ‘Why don’t you say bye to Dr Stella, and you and I will talk about babies at bedtime, okay?’
‘Bye, Dr Stella.’ Charlie took off at the speed of light, leaving a fog of thick, cloying tension wrapped around her and Aaron. Wave after wave of exhilarating lust buffeted her poor, weak body in the silent moments that seemed to stretch for ever.
This was very bad indeed.
‘Johnny knows everything.’ Aaron raised his eyebrows. His smile was cool, relaxed, but the expression in his eyes was beyond suggestive. Carnal. Intent.
Then his gaze swept to her mouth.
Stella’s pulse buzzed in her ears. Was he going to kiss her?
Did he want to have sex with her, too?
Her feet shuffled, her senses alive with anticipation that she tried to squash. What the hell was happening? She couldn’t seriously be thinking about Aaron Bennett’s soft-looking lips, wondering if he kissed with the same all-consuming confidence that he wore as well as the fine wool jumper moulded to his deliciously contoured chest.
Kissing Aaron was not allowed. Sex with Aaron was the worst idea she’d ever had. Even standing here in a puddle of loaded silence with him was highly reckless.
Stella laughed another nervous chuckle. ‘I’ll...um...wait here.’ Her voice cracked.
Aaron hesitated, his body inching closer. Then he sighed. ‘Give me a few minutes to get him settled.’
She nodded, resolved. ‘Then we should...um...get back to work.’
Even if he didn’t, she needed the reminder that they were working together, that no matter how tempted, she would never know if Aaron’s kisses would be demanding and animalistic or slow and seductive.
And she was one hundred per cent okay with that.
Wasn’t she...?