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“ARE YOU OKAY?” LILY asked me, and I managed to nod. Of course, it was a total lie. I felt like I was never going to be okay again after what had happened tonight. It was the early hours of the morning now, and I could still smell the smoke in the air, the way it clustered around the house as though it was squeezing in on us.
“I will be,” I replied. It was the best I could give her right now, and even that wasn’t a lot. I wished there was something more I could say, something I could do to assure her that I was going to be all right, but there was no way I could pull that off with my house burned down next door.
“You should get some rest,” Lily told me gently. I didn’t know how I could rest, when I was sure the only thing I would be thinking of was the way my house had been swallowed up in flames.
But worse than that, Lily had almost been hurt. I had been so distracted by the fire that I had let it draw my attention, and Tony had gotten his hands on her. I should have been there for her, but I had failed, and I was furious with myself for letting him get that close. If I hadn’t gotten to them in time, who knew what might have happened—how it might have ended. I shivered at the thought.
She slipped onto my lap and rested her head against my shoulder. Her body was soft, exhausted, all the tension gone after the stress of tonight. How could it get any worse? I had no idea. But I had a feeling that Tony wasn’t going to let us off that easily.
“You’re going to stay here for a while, right?” she asked quietly. I lifted my head to look at her.
“You don’t mind?”
“Warren, I’m the one who got you into all of this,” she reminded me, raising her eyebrows pointedly. “I’m not going to kick you out on the street after what he did to you.”
“That would be great,” I sighed with relief. That was one less thing for me to think of, at least. I still didn’t know what I was going to do. I would have to rebuild the house pretty much from scratch, and the thought of that seemed to stretch out endlessly in front of me. I felt like I had just begun to build my life up into something I actually wanted it to be again, only for this to come along and rip me apart once more.
I nuzzled into her neck, inhaling the scent of her and trying to forget about what was waiting for me beyond the four walls of this house. Even after what had happened, I felt like she was worth it—she was worth every little bit of struggle that came with her, because she had made me feel alive in a way nobody had in a long time. It wasn’t her fault she had this past and this ex following her around. It didn’t matter. I could handle that.
I just couldn’t handle losing her.
“You’re going to need help doing that place up again, huh?” she remarked.
I nodded. “I really will.”
“Well, I’m right here,” she offered. “And I’m pretty good with a hammer.”
“Are you?” I chuckled. “I can’t really picture it.”
“Hey, I lived out on the road for a long time,” she protested, smiling. “I had to deal with my fair share of breakdowns over the years.”
“I take it back,” I replied, holding my hands up.
“And I’m pretty sure Silver will work for treats,” she continued. She was trying to cheer me up, thinking of me even now.
“Yeah, I reckon I could bribe her into doing some work for me,” I agreed, trying to joke along with her. I needed to get out of my head for a while, even if that felt impossible right now.
“Come on,” she told me, getting to her feet and taking my hand. “You need to get some rest.”
“I’m fine,” I protested, but she shook her head.
“I insist,” she replied. “I don’t want you sitting here and brooding. There’s not a whole lot of room in my bed, but we’ll just have to make do.”
“Oh, I think I can find a way to make that work,” I replied, and I got to my feet and followed her quietly up the stairs, past Diane’s room. I glanced at the door and offered a silent apology to the older woman for dragging her into this mess. She was already going through enough with her injury, and the last thing she needed was someone like me rolling up out of nowhere and making it all a whole hell of a lot more complicated.
Lily pushed open her bedroom door and tiptoed inside. She glanced over her shoulder and flashed me a smile.
“I feel like a teenager,” she whispered. “Sneaking boys into my room late at night...”
“You did a lot of this?” I asked, and she grinned and wrapped her arms around me.
“Not until you,” she murmured, and she shifted in to kiss me. I put my hands to her waist, drawing her in a little closer, and she pulled back for a moment and leaned her head against mine.
“I’m so glad you’re okay,” she told me, her voice suddenly full of sincerity. I smoothed my hand over her head, soothing her, trying to calm her.
“I’m fine,” I promised her. “I’m just sorry I couldn’t keep Tony away from you.”
“That’s okay,” she replied, shaking her head. “Sometimes I don’t think anything would be enough to keep him away.”
“I will be,” I told her. “He won’t ever get that close to you again, I promise.”
She closed her eyes and pressed her forehead to mine. I pulled her closer, holding her near, silently telling her in any way that I could that it was going to be all right.
“We should go to bed,” she murmured, and she stepped away from me to arrange the pillows. I watched her, noticing that her hands were trembling as she worked, as she tried to keep herself from giving away the full extent of her fear.
I slipped into bed next to her when it was done, and she immediately curled into me.
“Sorry it’s so small,” she apologized.
“Guess we’re just going to have to cuddle up really close, huh?” I said. She smiled.
“Guess so,” she agreed, and she reached up to kiss me again. I kissed her back softly, and then she laid her head down on my shoulder and closed her eyes.
It didn’t take long for her breathing to start to smooth out, her body beginning to settle in to the rest I knew she needed so badly. And I knew I needed it, too, though it wouldn’t come quite as easily to me.
I couldn’t get the image of him out of my mind—the way he had grabbed her, the sheer hatred in his eyes when he had looked at her. I had thought this was about possession, but it was something more, too. She was a woman who had managed to escape his advances, and he was angry. Really fucking angry. He wasn’t used to women getting away from him, and he wanted to set an example in any way he could, using Lily as his unfortunate subject.
I closed my eyes and listened to her breathing, letting it begin to soothe me to sleep. There was so much to deal with in the morning, but for now, it was just the two of us.
And I didn’t want it any other way.
