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BY THE TIME WE GOT home, I felt like I was both flying and drowning at the same time. There were actually people out there that believed me, and that made me feel more hopeful than I had in a long time. A cop who had personal experience with what we knew Tony was doing, and the visit from the fire chief Not just one but two people in high-up positions.
People who believed me.
People who wanted to help me.
If Frank was actually going to go through with this, it would also mean that there would be a written record of what had happened to me. A real-life police report. Five years late and not even filed with the cops in this town, but still. If he could get his friend to file it in another town so that there was at least proof that I'd spoken out and that something had happened...
That was something, right?
And maybe I had Rocco on my side, too. I didn’t know for sure if I could trust him yet, but it seemed way more likely now that I knew there were others out there who wanted to help. I still wasn’t going to go spilling everything to him, but I glanced over at the card sitting on the armchair next to Warren. It was something, at least.
I had no idea what the legalities were there. If the police department that took the statement didn't have jurisdiction over the town where it happened, would it even matter? I mean, what if I'd had to get out of town and then made the statement somewhere else? Making a statement was making a statement, right? I'd just told someone who was in a safer place. And if the statement was anything to go by, surely whoever looked at it would understand why I wouldn't have made it in a town where Tony McCarthy—and his father—had direct access to me.
If that held true, and if we could find other girls like Frank's niece who had personal experience with Tony himself, and if Richard could find the girl who'd taken out that restraining order on Tony six years ago, surely that would be enough.
If it was just me saying something about what Tony had done, that was one thing. But if there were two of us, it was more believable. If there were more than two, and one of them actually had a restraining order, that would be a bigger story than anyone could ignore.
I wondered suddenly if I should add a restraining order to my list of things to do. If I actually had one of those, would it make me more believable? Or had it been too long for me to be able to do that? Could I do one now based on what Tony had been doing since I'd gotten back in town?
Could I say I was worried about what he might do and get a restraining order based on that?
I'd never even thought of it, but now the idea was growing in my head, and I was starting to think it could be the right next move. We had no idea what Mark and Tony had planned, but they'd already done a bunch of things that were definitely not okay. Assaulting me in the street at the bakery. Barging into my home. Setting Warren's home on fire. No, I didn't have any proof that that had been Tony, but he had tried to kidnap me right after that.
Surely that justified getting a restraining order to keep him away from me.
I paused on that thought, savoring it for a moment. A life without Tony hanging over my shoulder. A life where he wasn't allowed to get near me or talk to me. Where he couldn't threaten me in the street outside our bakery—or inside it, for that matter—or bang on my door or leave dead squirrels or try to burn the place down around my ears.
Damn, it sounded good. It sounded like I'd be able to breathe for the first time since I got back.
It also sounded like something he wouldn't obey. Had he actually paid any attention to it with this first woman? It was hard to believe, with the way he had treated me, that he would give me any kind of break just because of a silly little thing like a restraining order. He had always mocked me about being unable to speak up for myself, but I could see now that was just a way to crush me down so I would never dare argue with him.
And something that might actually put me in even more danger.
The problem was, he'd inevitably find out if I did anything like that. Surely someone would have to let him know about said restraining order—how else would he follow the rules?—and the moment they did, he'd come after me. He wouldn't give one single damn about the restraining order itself. Why should he, when the police department in this town was on his side? He'd only care that I'd stepped out of line and taken one out and filed a police report to boot. He'd be furious that I'd outed him and turned against him, especially when he'd made it so clear that he wanted to get back with me.
The thought of that now made me shudder. Back then, I had been so naïve—I had believed that being with someone like him, someone who treated me the way he did, was something I deserved. Something I could fix. Something I needed to stick out, since I was sure there was some good in him somewhere in there.
But since I had been with Warren, I could see how wrong I was. I could see how I had deluded myself into believing that just to survive—because if I had faced up to how bad things really were, I would have had to accept that my life was a nightmare, and I didn’t know if I had any way out of it.
Warren, though? When Warren looked at me, it wasn’t with the distaste and disgust that Tony had. For our whole relationship, Tony had always treated me as though I had something to prove to him—as though I should have been so grateful for him even gracing me with the time of day, and that if I wasn’t appropriately glad, he would make me pay. But Warren told me he was proud of me. Told me how much he respected me. And I could see now that this was the kind of relationship I had been craving all along.
But I had dragged him into all of this with Tony, and I couldn’t forgive myself for that.
He'd come after me with renewed force if he found out I'd done something like that. And we were in a town where the cops ignored anything he did wrong and probably helped him do some things. I would have no recourse if he did come after me. They'd just laugh at me if I called them to come save me. Even if they knew I had a restraining order.
The thought was why I felt like I was drowning as well as flying. Frank might be able to get my report to another precinct, but what good would it do me if the police force in my own back yard was looking out for Tony and Mark rather than girls like me? They wouldn't protect me. Hell, they'd probably turn me over to him if they had half a chance!
Filing that police report might actually be a very bad idea, because it would give Tony a reason to come after me.
I wondered suddenly whether that was what had happened to the girl who had pursued a restraining order. Had she gone out of her way to file a police report, get someone to take her seriously, and get a restraining order only for someone to tell Tony she'd done all that? Had he ignored the rules and gone after her the minute he found out?
Had he and his father covered up whatever they'd done to her?
I gulped and looked around the room I was sitting in, staring into the shadows in the corners and wondering what might be lurking there.
Then I shook myself and tried to talk some sense into my anxiety. I was in my own house, where I was completely safe. Warren was here to protect me, and if anything happened to him, I had zero doubts that Silver would take care of anyone who came through my door without permission.
But I'd also thought I was safe in Warren's house. And right now, it was a pile of smoldering ashes.
At that moment, the man in question strolled into the room, his eyes on his phone and his fingers clicking away. When he looked up and saw me no doubt looking panicked, he frowned.
“What's wrong?” he asked, making his way quickly to my side.
I'm not ashamed to say I flung myself into his arms. Since we’d gotten home, I'd put myself through the wringer when it came to emotions, and now I'd talked myself into being well and truly panicked at the lack of options in front of me. I wanted his arms around me and his comforting voice to tell me everything was going to be okay. I wanted to hear that he had a plan and that he was going to make sure Tony couldn't get his hands on me.
It wasn't strong. In fact, thinking something like that made me feel slightly ashamed of myself. But Warren was the strongest, steadiest person I'd ever met, and right now, when I was frightened, I couldn't think of anything better than feeling like he had an answer to what was going on.
He guided me slowly to the couch, where he pulled me down and wrapped me in his arms. I cuddled into him, letting his warmth seep into my body and make me feel better. And when I finally pulled back to look him in the eye, I was feeling at least a bit steadier.
“Want to talk about it?” he asked gently.
I sniffed, straightened my spine, and then nodded. “It's about Frank.”
His face cleared like he knew exactly what I was going to say, and he nodded once. “You've been thinking about his offer.”
“More or less. And I'm not sure we can take him up on it.”
He paused for a moment like he was seriously considering that, and then simply said, “Why?”
Right. He was going to let me call the shots here.
I'd thought I wanted him to tell me what to do, but now that we were here and I was facing the decision, I realized I preferred it this way. I didn't want to be told. I wanted to have a say in what our decision was.
“I'm not sure it works, to be honest,” I told him frankly. “I appreciate Frank thinking he can take the statement and turn it in at another police department where Tony doesn't have any sway, but what then? Will they have the right to do anything when the incident happened here, not there? And even if they do and take the statement all the way to filing for a restraining order, who's to say Tony will respect that? He doesn't have to follow the law in this town. He just has to count on his pet cops to get him out of any trouble he gets into. And if he finds out I've filed a police report and tried to get a restraining order...”
I stared at him, my eyes big and the words refusing to form in my mouth.
“He might come after you just for that,” he said quietly.
“Yes,” I whispered. “It might be the only reason he needs to come after me. Or you. Or Mom. It might be what he's waiting for. And it might be why Richard can't find that other girl. You know, the one who did get a restraining order put through.”
He bit his lip and thought about it for a moment. “You think she's dead?”
I shivered at the sound of those words. I had tried not to imagine that, but it was a fair question. We had to consider it as a possibility.
“I think it's pretty strange that Richard can supposedly find anyone he wants to find and yet can't find her. And I think it might be less that she's good at hiding and more that there's nothing to find. Surely Tony and Mark knew she'd filed that restraining order. And Tony would never be able to just ignore something like that. He'd take it as a personal insult. Something he needed to punish her for.”
Warren nodded slowly, then reached forward and dragged me suddenly back into his arms. I didn't know what was going on, but I went willingly because saying the words out loud had made them a whole lot more real.
“It doesn’t mean they got her,” he pointed out. “It could be that she just made a new life for herself. Changed her name, made a new start somewhere...”
The fear had already started to set in for me, though, and I couldn’t stop my mind racing as I pieced together all the very worst case scenarios.
“What if they got her?” I asked him. I needed him to tell me it was going to be okay. I needed him to convince me there was a way through this, a way through it the victim who had taken out the restraining order might not have been able to find.
“If they got to her, it just means one thing,” he whispered against my hair.
“What?” I breathed. “That she wasn't careful enough?”
“That she didn't have someone like me protecting her. Because I don't care what they do, Lily. I don't care how mad they are or how much power they think they have. I will never let them have you. I'll spend my last breath defending you and keeping you safe, you understand me? I'll never let them hurt you.”
I closed my eyes and let his words sink in. He'd keep me safe no matter what. I didn't have any doubt of that. I'd known him for about a week, and I already knew he'd protect me with everything he had.
But I was really hoping he wouldn't have to go that far.
Getting a restraining order might not work. But something had to. Something had to be big enough to put Tony and his dad behind bars. Something that didn't include putting Warren and my mom in danger.
There had to be a way to get him out of our lives while protecting the people I loved.
I just had to figure out what it was.
