Elijah
Something was definitely wrong with Shaw. I could feel it in the way he rested against me, the way he gave me his weight and let me hold it, the way he relaxed into me. But then, I’d known it before then too. I saw it in the dimness of his eyes, the lack of that spark that was so contagious and classic Shaw.
And he’d called me. He’d massaged my feet, and held me close, and fuck, did I want that to mean something. I wanted to mean something to him. Wanted the things he’d told me he could never give: a relationship, love.
I wanted to give myself to him.
I cupped his cheek and tilted his head. Shaw got the message, pulling his face from my chest and looking at me. I tugged him closer, and he came, kept coming until our lips were pressed together. He moaned into my mouth, and I swallowed it down, hungered for more—of this, of him, of everything.
Our tongues tangled together in a give-and-take. I led, tasted his mouth, before he did the same. My cock was already hard when his hand slid down to stroke it.
“I want to suck you,” he said, and as good as that felt, it wasn’t what I wanted tonight. We’d given each other more blowjobs and handjobs than I could count, but he never tried to go further. I knew that was because of me, because he knew I wanted more than he could give, and sex would muddy it.
“I want you,” I said against his lips.
Shaw tensed. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I wouldn’t say it if I wasn’t.”
“E…”
“Not right now. We don’t have to talk about that. Right now I want you to take me to your room and have your way with me, unless that’s not what you want.”
“I want,” rushed out of his mouth, and I chuckled.
“Thank God. I was going to have my feelings hurt.”
He frowned, leaned in, and ghosted his lips over mine. “Come on, E. You know I want you. I want you more than I should.”
That was the problem with us, though, wasn’t it? More than I should. Why did there have to be a should?
“What did I say?” he asked, brushing his nose against mine. It made my whole body light up, that stupid, sweet action, combined with how well he read me.
“Nothing. Are we doing this, or should I take care of myself?” I teased.
“Oh, someone thinks he’s funny, huh? Come on, we’re doing this.”
Shaw stood and held out his hand to me. He was wearing basketball shorts, which were tented with his obvious erection.
“Aw, look how excited you are for me,” I joked.
“Because that feeling isn’t mutual?” He nodded toward my bulge before tugging me to my feet. “I’m so excited, I really hope I don’t embarrass myself.” He pulled me to the room as I laughed.
The second I stepped inside, all I could think was, So this is Shaw’s room. How could I never have been in his room? It was modern, with different-shaped mirrors on one wall and a sleek, black headboard and matching accessories.
He pulled his T-shirt off, then jerked mine over my head too. The second it was gone, he was kissing me again. My arms closed around him, my hands journeying up and down his back as we kissed and pushed tight against each other, like we didn’t want any space there.
Shaw’s hold tightened around me. He lifted me up before dropping me onto the bed, my legs hanging off the side. Shaw leaned over me and nuzzled his face playfully into my neck, nipping and licking at my skin. “If I come too quickly, you’re not going to hold it against me, are you?”
“Do you know us?” I teased.
“Shit. I’m fucked,” he replied, kissing his way down my chest. He knelt on the floor between my legs, pulling my bottoms and underwear off. My cock sprang free, and he nuzzled my balls, making me arch off the bed.
“We can play next time. I need you.”
Shaw growled into my groin before shoving to his feet. He ripped his shorts and underwear down, and I licked my lips as I took him in. The way his thick cock jutted out from his body and the cut of his abs, the dusting of hair on his chest and the depth of what I saw in his eyes. What I felt.
“Next time.” He smiled, and that smile landed in my chest.
I moved up on the bed, lying in the middle of it, my head on the pillows. Shaw grabbed lube and a condom from the nightstand and set them on the bed.
He crawled over, lay on top of me, his hands flat on the bed as he looked down at me. “This is…not like when I’m with other people.”
Hurt and fear permeated every syllable of his words. I knew how hard that was for him to say, while hating that it felt like I was flying because he said it was more. Fuck, he made me sappy. “I know.”
“What do you want?” Shaw asked. “You can fuck me if you want…or I’ll take you. Whatever you need.”
Stupid, sweet Shaw. Why did he have to be this way? “Kind of hoping you want to fuck me,” I admitted. “I’m an excellent bottom.”
He laughed. “Well, it just so happens that I’m an excellent top, so it’s perfect.”
“Eh, I’m sure you’ll be all right.”
He gasped playfully. “All right? All right?” And then he nuzzled my neck, bit at my skin, trying to tickle me at the same time.
“Oh my God, no. Stop! No tickling. I swear I’ll never tell anyone you’re only okay in bed.”
He pulled away, his mouth dropping open. “Take. It. Back,” he said mischievously.
“Make me.” He leaned down and sucked my cock into his mouth, then rubbed a finger over my hole. My whole body trembled and arched toward him. “I take it back!” If he kept doing that, I would take anything back.
He pulled off me with a pop of his mouth. “That’s what I thought.”
“I hate you.”
“You want my cock.”
“I still hate you.”
He paused, and a look washed over him that I couldn’t read, but felt—it was passion and caring and depth. I didn’t know how to explain it other than that. It made my heart speed up. “Why are you so fun?” he mused.
“It’s a talent. What can I say?”
In a moment Cocky Shaw was gone, and in his place Vulnerable Shaw stared back at me with eyes full of want and insecurity. We sobered immediately, and I pulled him down to kiss me again. We rutted against each other, my cock twitching at the friction but needing more.
I grabbed the lube and shoved it at him. Shaw wet his fingers, knelt between my legs, and looked at me. “Christ, you are so goddamned beautiful.”
My cheeks heated. “So are you.” He pressed his finger against my entrance, and I said, “It’s been a while for me.”
“I’ll take care of you,” Shaw promised.
“I know.”
And he did. Shaw worked me open with one finger, then two. He watched me as he did so, kissing me and stroking me until my whole body was trembling and sweating and eager. My cock ached, and my thoughts spun. Why had we waited so long to do this? Why were we only now in this place?
I writhed beneath him as he rubbed my prostate, my toes curling into the blanket. “Please,” I begged.
“Look at you, E. Fuck, you want it.”
I grabbed him and tugged him down. His body was perspiring too, and we grinded together, kissing and gasping and savoring.
Tired of waiting, I grabbed the condom, opened it, and rolled it down his erection. I lubed my hand, wrapped it around him, and stroked.
“Fuck.” Shaw’s eyes rolled back.
“Let me roll over. I like it from behind.”
He nodded and did as I said. I lay on my stomach and bent one leg to the side as his hand caressed my ass. “Seriously, best ass ever. I wanted it even that first night in the club.”
I thought about my annoyance with him that night, then about how he jumped in and helped with Danny. It felt like an eternity ago, a different world. I didn’t know how we got from there to where we were, but I was glad.
Shaw knelt behind me, between my legs. He spread my ass cheeks with one hand, then pressed his cock against my hole and pushed in slowly. “Fuck,” he whispered. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Christ, you’re tight. I’m seriously going to blow my load.”
“Don’t you dare.” I closed my eyes through the pressure, the initial discomfort that came with something inside me, and then he was buried deep and kissing my shoulder.
“You okay?”
“Perfect.”
He started to move, and everything else evaporated, the world narrowing to just Shaw and me…the way he felt against me, inside me, the feeling of his body rutting against mine, his lips on my skin, his mumbled words that I couldn’t make out.
He eased up some and pulled me to my knees before holding my hips and slamming into me. Each thrust sent the best sensation rushing through me, the feel of his cock hitting me just right, being connected to him this way.
I leaned down on one arm, ass in the air, and wrapped my free hand around my cock. I stroked fast in time with the pump of Shaw’s hips. My muscles began to tingle, and my vision went blurry. My legs shook and my balls drew tight as I cried out and shot all over my hand.
“Thank fuck,” Shaw said, then thrust harder into me before tensing and calling out in his own orgasm. His cock jerked inside me, and a minute later, he pulled out. I felt empty.
“Let me get rid of this. I’ll get something to clean you up,” he said, but I shook my head.
“Don’t. I like to be sweaty and come-y. Reminds me of what we did.”
“Christ, that’s hot.” Shaw tossed the condom in the trash, then came back to the bed. “Lean up.”
I did, and he pulled the blanket out from under me, then climbed in bed with me and pulled it over us. His arms wrapped around me, and he kept kissing me, nose, forehead, temple, shoulder, cheek, neck, like he couldn’t get enough.
“I saw my parents today,” he said softly. “They’re a mess. They were fighting, and they want me to fix it for them. It’s like they use me as their middleman, each wanting me on their side against the other, and it’s fucked, E. It screws with my head and makes me remember why I don’t want that, because I don’t want it to turn into what they have.”
“Just because that’s their relationship doesn’t mean it’ll be yours. You can’t let yourself run because you don’t want to be like them. You’re not your parents. Can’t you see that?” I pushed up on my elbows and looked down at him. “You’re not them. You care about people and help them. You protect them and spoil them.”
He wanted love. Like the Beast. Instead of anger, Shaw used sarcasm, but I saw him, imagined him trapped and scared and wanting more. I knew Shaw wanted to be loved.
“I don’t…and then this…us. It’s all tangled up in my head, and I don’t know how to loosen the knots.”
“I’ll help you. I’m not going anywhere. You gave up on yourself a long time ago, I think, but I’m determined. I’m not giving up on you, Shaw.”
He closed his eyes, breathed, then pulled me into his arms again. “Stay,” he whispered.
I kissed his chest, and we slept like that together, in each other’s arms, the rest of the night.