.Elijah
“What are you thinking about?” Brooklyn asked as we sat on my couch, eating ice cream.
I shook my head. “Nothing.” But that wasn’t really true. I was thinking about—
“Your man. The correct reply would be, I’m thinking about my man, B. You know you can’t lie to me.”
I flicked ice cream at her.
She was right. Of course she was right, but that didn’t mean I had to like it. “Yes. Are you happy now? I’m thinking about my man.” Only, technically, I didn’t even have the right to call him that, did I?
It had been a week since the barbecue, and things were the same in a lot of ways. Shaw and I spoke every day and hung out nearly every day. We had a couple of extra dance lessons, as the gala was approaching. Shaw laughed in all the right places and held me the same and fucked me the same. Still, it felt different.
He was quieter, more introspective. I would notice him space off, like his mind was elsewhere, and I was so damn scared he was getting cold feet. That things had moved too far, too fast, and Shaw was going to walk away.
“Elijah…what is it?” Brooklyn asked, concern in her voice.
“I’m in love with him,” I admitted.
“I know.”
I cocked a brow. “You’re not going to tell me we’re too different, or it’s too fast, or that I don’t know my own feelings?”
She shook her head. “Not this time, sweets. You guys are great together. He’s your person.”
I felt a smile in my chest but couldn’t bring it to my lips. “What if he doesn’t love me?” My voice cracked. I hated the question, knew it wasn’t a legitimate concern. I saw it in Shaw’s face. I felt it, but what if I was wrong?
“He does. But he’s also a boy, and boys can be dumb.”
“Hey!” I playfully pushed her arm. “I’m a boy, thank you very much. And girls can be dumb too. Your ex being one of them.”
She sighed. “Yeah, I know. People can be dumb, I guess.”
“This is why Shaw says love is stupid. I never used to think that, but now that I’m really in it, I realize it’s true.”
“Right?” she countered.
She’d had her heart broken. Shaw had too, in the past. Danny might not have been in love with Garrett, but he’d wanted to date him, and Garrett had turned him down. I was sure Will had been through something similar in his life.
None of us knew what we were doing. I couldn’t help wondering if anyone ever did when it came to love. Maybe we were all just stumbling into it.
“That doesn’t change us wanting it, though,” Brooklyn added.
I sat there a moment before replying, “No, no it doesn’t.”
“Why are we all sad, boo? You have a man, remember? And you’re in love with him, and I know he’s in love with you too. He met your family, and he looks at you with googly eyes, which I might add, you return.”
She was right. I knew she was, but something felt off.
“Have you told him?” Brooklyn asked.
“No. I can’t.”
“Pretty sure you can.”
I shrugged, because technically, I could tell the guy who didn’t want love for himself, who had his heart crushed the one time he put himself out there, who I was only supposed to be hanging out with, that I was crazy in love with him, but I was fairly certain that would be the end of us.
Before I could reply, a text came through my phone.
Miss me? Shaw asked, and I smiled.
Yes.
“See?” Brooklyn said. “You’re trippin’ about nothing. Your boy is crazy about you.”
God, I hoped so. And if he was, I hoped it was enough.
Miss you too .