‘I need to have a word, Seb.’
Seb, the assistant solicitor at the firm, was home-grown, in the sense that he had worked with me as an articled clerk before getting taken on five years previously. I had worked with him for about seven years by then and thought of him as if he were my son. He is a tall, handsome man – half-Danish, very clever and very principled.
‘What’s the buzz?’ he asked as he closed the door to my room behind him. It was one of those difficult work conversations. I knew that I could trust him, but I also knew that if I told him precisely what had happened at the partners’ meeting all hell would break loose if anyone found out that I had done so. However, I didn’t want it all to come as a bomb-drop later and just felt it would be totally unfair that he should be left in the dark. So I had planned what I was going to say.
‘Seb, you know there was a partners’ meeting yesterday.’ It was obvious that he could sense that I was heading him towards an iceberg. He’d lived through the sinking of the criminal department the previous year and knew full well that the family legal aid work was next on the list.
‘Don’t tell me. They want to axe legal aid. I’ve seen this coming a mile off.’
‘Seb, I can’t tell you and it’s important that I don’t make tidal waves for either of us by explaining exactly what was said. Nothing has been decided yet, but you know what happened to crime last year.’ That was all I needed to say.
For him, it was very far from good timing. He and his wife, Freja – pronounced Freya – had just had their second son and Freja was suffering from postnatal depression. What’s more, they had just moved house and taken on a pretty hefty mortgage.
‘Oh, good grief.’ At that time I had never heard Seb swear, unlike me.
‘Well, we’ll just have to see what happens. I’m really sorry.’
‘It really could not have come at a worse time for us. Goodness only knows what Freja will make of it.’
‘It may come to nothing. Who knows? I’ll also keep my ears open for any jobs that are going.’
‘There aren’t many of those at the moment, are there? Not in this field of work.’
‘I’ll make sure you’re alright, one way or the other. You do know that, don’t you?’
‘I know you will. It means a lot to me. What has happened to the world?’
‘Don’t ask me. Everyone seems to be out for what they can get, chasing the big number. I’m sorry to land this on you. I really thought about saying nothing, but then realised I couldn’t. I hope I’ve done the right thing.’
‘I’m glad that you told me. The other lot would have left it until the day they ordered me to clear my desk. At least this way I can try to plan ahead.’
‘We’ll just have to wait to see what happens.’ I was repeating myself. I didn’t know what else to say. ‘I’ll keep you as up to speed as I can.’
‘Don’t get yourself into trouble, though. I’ll keep my lip buttoned. You haven’t actually told me anything.’
‘Look, I’ve got a short hearing in court this morning. Let’s grab some lunch together later.’
‘Good one. See you later. And thanks.’ He is such a nice guy.
Seb and I had just settled down for lunch at a table in the wine bar near the office. I wanted to see how he was after the news I had given him that morning.
‘Oh no. Don’t look but guess who’s just come in.’ Seb gave a sideways glance.
‘Grendel’s mother.’ Seb knew the patois as well as I did.
Clarissa zoned in on us, gave an imperious smile and then crossed over to our table.
‘Mind if I join you boys?’ Yes, I did mind. Big time. But I could hardly tell the senior partner to take a leap, could I? So we were stuck with her. She waved at the barman, tipped her hand in front of her mouth to signal that she wanted her usual glass of chilled Chardonnay, and then made damn sure that she dominated the conversation by droning on about how well the firm was doing.
‘I’ll pay,’ she said when we had all eaten. Seb thanked her and then excused himself from the table, saying he had to get back to draft some documents arising from the hearing he had done that morning.
She stared across the table at me. ‘We have to look after our youngsters, don’t we...and what goes on at home stays at home, eh?’ In other words, remember I’ve gagged you about what was said at the partners’ meeting.
‘Let’s go splits,’ I replied but she insisted on paying. No doubt she would put it down to expenses.
The afternoon was busy and, every time I tried to catch up with Seb, there were other people around. He had to shoot off as soon as possible at the end of the day to get back home for his family. But just before he left he finally caught up with me.
‘If you bump into Freja by any chance, please don’t tell her. She’s pretty down at the moment.’ That was all he had time for; his life revolved around work and family. I never heard of him going out with the friends or playing sport. Much of the time he looked knackered and his conversation was often about broken nights.
When I got home that evening, Susan and I sat down at the kitchen table with each other once the two younger kids were in bed and I told her what had been going on. It was Friday and our ritual was to have a bottle of sparkling wine together to mark the end of the week: we called it Fizzy Friday. The older two kids were out with mates overnight.
‘The partners are so stupid. And so short-sighted.’ That was her response to my account of the partnership meeting. As a GP who works long hours in a community-based practice, she despised the big money-seekers and had no interest at all in the legal luvvies. She even told Clarissa to stop talking shop once – in precisely those terms – at a partners’ dinner when Clarissa was boring everyone to tears by going on and on about her work.
‘They just want as much money as they can get. It’s all about that. They don’t give a shit about clients that don’t have money. Or the likes of Seb.’ It was so helpful to be able to offload how I felt with someone I trusted.
‘Strange form of client care. Can you imagine if my patients were treated like that?’
‘Quite. But then legal rights aren’t visible, are they?’
‘Well, Jon. See how it goes. But you know that if ever you want to get out of the rat race, I would never stand in your way. We don’t need lots of money. We can get by on my pay.’ See why I love my wife so much now?
‘You are very good to me, you know.’
‘I only want you for your body, though. Good job, too. Your mind’s a cesspit.’
‘We’re well matched, then.’ After that it was time for the rest of the Friday night Susan and Jon ritual.