Since I was going to be gone all week without a word to my step-monster or my dad and I’d be grounded for a year—yes, even at nearly twenty years old—I needed to see David before I left with Alicia. He’d taken me to my high school prom and we’d been dating ever since.
I sent him a text.
Sorry I had to cancel on you.
No problem, babe.
Drama at home. Wanna meet me early tomorrow?
No response as I stared at my phone. Was he tired of me being so busy and Step-monster’s craziness? Finally, my phone dinged but my heart sunk.
Can’t. Gotta cram for a test tonight and I’ll be up late.
K. Good luck.
I set my phone on my charger and tried to sleep. After midnight, I still hadn’t drifted off. I thought about sending David another text but what if he was sleeping? I just wanted to see him as I was leaving in the morning to drive to Alicia’s grandmother’s and would be gone the entire week of spring break.
Surely he’d want to tell me goodbye in person if he understood that I was going to be gone and then grounded for life when I returned.
Kicking off my covers, I then quickly brushed my teeth and hair, throwing on a pair of shorts and top. I opened my bedroom door. When the wood squeaked, I held my breath. I prayed that my stepmother had taken her sleeping pills tonight otherwise she had supersonic hearing and I swore could hear a pin drop from downstairs.
No one came bursting out of their bedroom, and I let out a sigh. I crept to the front door, avoiding the two creaking stops on the way.
It wasn’t until I was in my car and halfway down the street that my coiled insides relaxed. I drove the three and a half mile to David’s house, my hands sweating on the steering wheel. First, I’d swing by and see if his light was one. If it wasn’t then he was probably sleeping. But I bit my lower lip as I hoped he was still studying.
Seeing his bedroom light on, I parked across the street. Excitement blossomed in my chest at the thought of seeing him. Our dates had been sporadic at best and I couldn’t wait to see the expression on his face when I surprised him tonight. Even though I felt a bit stalkerish, David had often told me that I needed to be daring, spontaneous.
I picked up a few pebbles from his mom’s garden bed then dashed up to his window. Taking a deep breath, I tossed one at the glass. They plonked off but he didn’t appear in the window.
Twice more I skittered the stones against his windowpane until the blinds went up and he stood there, peering out. His hair a mess like he had been asleep and my heart leaped in my chest. Then a shadow moved behind him, and I scrambled back thinking it was his mom or dad.
But Sandra Collins dressed in a lacy teddy appeared beside him. My heart folded in on itself, and I slipped into the bushes. She pressed her body to him and he kissed her, not bothering to lower the blinds back down.
Tears stung my eyes and my face felt like it was on fire. Out of all the pain in my life, I’d never been hurt this bad. It felt like someone had scooped out my insides and I was nothing but hollow inside. Not caring if he saw me, I ran back to my car, shaking. I couldn’t go home. I knew I wouldn’t sleep anyway. Instead I drove and cried around the city. I couldn’t go to Alicia’s either or Rose’s. This trip was to support my friend and her missing grandmother, not my guy troubles.
Partially blind through my tears, I whipped the car down the road to the neighborhood park. Neither of my friends would know what David had done until I could tell them without feeling sorry for myself. If he wanted to be with Sandra than that was his choice. I hiccupped a sob and slapped the steering wheel. How could I have trusted him to remain faithful to me when I wasn’t able to see him regularly. God, I felt like such a damn fool.
As long as I lived at home, I would never be free of my dad and step-monster’s rules, never be able to live my own life. I’d deceived myself into thinking that it didn’t matter. That having money to pay for my culinary classes while obeying their every whim was enough. If I’d been on my own, I could’ve spent more time with David. Then he wouldn’t have gone with Sandra.
Fresh sobs wracked my body, burning my throat. A hollowness settled into my chest. Like an open wound that would forever be with me, forever to remind me that love was a ruse.