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The next day, as soon as the gates opened and I was allowed to leave, I made my way down to the city and weaved through the streets and avenues headed for Square G2 toward Alfil Park.
My heart was beating out of control. I couldn’t wait to see Nyro again, couldn’t stop wondering if he’d thought of me as I had, if he wished to kiss me once more. My steps tapped the sidewalk, matching the rhythm of my heart.
Constantly glancing over my shoulder, I made sure no one was following me. A meeting with a member of the Black Board was unwise. I couldn’t be seen with him, which made Alfil Park a good spot. There were many trees and the gazebo in the back was normally empty. We could even remove our jackets and, from a distance, no one would be able to tell he was a Blackie and I was a Whitie. We would just be two young people out on a nice day.
I smiled, imagining us sitting there, my hand in his, those dark eyes searching my face until they locked on my lips. My excitement was such that when I crossed from Square H2 into Square G2, I had to contain myself not to run.
What are you doing, Bianca? What are you doing?
The question repeated inside my head over and over. A part of me offered up an answer, and it echoed with a warning.
Making a big mistake. That’s what. Meeting Nyro is wrong.
Rescuing Talyssa and avenging Papa were my priorities. Nyro was nothing but a distraction from my purpose. He couldn’t help me climb up the ranks to become a vampire. That struggle was mine and mine alone.
If he was planning to rescue his brother, he likely imagined that escaping Acedrex was a possibility. It wasn’t. No one left this place. Papa had said that with a big enough bribe it would be possible to pay someone off, but if Mama’s inheritance hadn’t been enough, then what would be?
Besides, I couldn’t run and live elsewhere—not knowing our monarch monsters were still here, making people suffer. I knew no other place but Acedrex. For ill or for good, it was my city, and its people deserved better than this.
Still, I placed one foot in front of the other, my traitorous heart leading me to Nyro, making me crave his touch and the feel of his lips on mine.
What reprehensible spirit had taken over me? What wicked energy coursed in my veins and filled me with heat? I didn’t know, but I seemed unable to resist it.
Alfil Park came into view. I stopped at the corner where a street and avenue intersected and a pastry shop sent its sweet scent wafting into the air.
I was considering running back the way I’d come when I spotted Nyro walking toward the park at a hurried pace. I pulled back a little, peeking from around the corner to watch him.
My breath caught. He was so tall and handsome and carried himself with such poise and confidence. Gods, he was far more attractive than any of the young men I’d met in society, even Emanuel Mistrock, who had been the most desirable bachelor in my circles and had started showing interest in me shortly after we were introduced.
The black uniform fit Nyro perfectly. The jacket cut straight angles around his wide shoulders and elegantly tapered to his narrow waist. His pants were fitted, wrapping around what promised to be strong thighs.
A flush heated my face. I pulled away, pressing my back against the wall to catch my breath. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to convince myself that I should leave and forget about him. Nothing good could come out of this. There was no future in a relationship between two people in our situation.
There could never be more than a tryst between us, something scandalous and terribly inappropriate.
What else do you want, Bianca? a part of me asked.
It wasn’t like I would ever marry and live the life I had once dreamed of. A tryst was all this new existence would allow. That or nothing.
That doesn’t mean you should lose your morals, yet another part of me argued. What if you get with child?
But the less proper side of me reminded me of the smartweed I kept in the suitcase under my cot. Every time I bought bloodshade from Mr. Oakes, he also gave me smartweed as a way to disguise our illegal transaction. If I took it, I wouldn’t have to worry about an unwanted child, and I wouldn’t have to die a virgin.
My own thoughts scandalized me.
Gods, what do I do?
I so wanted to see him again. And why should I deny myself that much when I had so little. My eyes sprang open as I tried to clear my head from the weight of my decision.
That was when I realized I’d been followed.