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Ferko took me to a washroom in the back of the palace. It had showers, bathtubs, and a hot spring pool ten times the size of the one in the Pawn dormitory.
“This is where you will clean yourself after your weekly feeding,” she said then pointed to a closed door. “That is a closet where you can find something to wear if your uniform is ruined. Next week, they should have Rook uniforms to fit your measurements.” She smiled, her black gaze roving over my blood-soaked garments.
“I really like this room,” she said, walking away as she began removing her clothes. “It’s always quite relaxing to take a bath after a good feeding.”
She discarded her jacket and shirt in a large weaved basket, then sat on a long bench to remove her boots. I stood on the tiled floor, feeling lost and trying not to look at the Knight as she undressed.
Ferko’s boots thudded to the floor. “I have to wait for you, so I might as well enjoy a nice bath before dinner.”
Moonlight filtered in through a set of narrow windows close to the ceiling, though most of the illumination came from gas lamps affixed to the walls. Their flames danced and flickered, making it feel as if the floor was moving. The gentle sounds of moving water came from the hot pool. A fresh soap aroma rode the air, though the metallic scent of blood on my clothes should have overpowered everything else.
The urge to rip off my uniform assaulted me. I fought it and walked slowly off to the side. Facing the wall for some privacy, I began to undress. I was down to my undergarments when I noticed a mirror on the wall to my right.
The entirety of my face was covered in dry blood and only the whites of my eyes were visible. I walked closer to peer better at my eyes. When I caught the muddy red color that swam in their depths, I nearly fell to my knees. I jerked my eyes down.
My hands and forearms were stained too, and blood had seeped all the way to the strips of fabric that bound my breasts.
I tore them off and dropped them to the floor on top of my ruined uniform. I stared at my naked torso in the mirror, that same droning sensation filling my chest. There were red blotches on my chest and breasts, dry blood that had found its way through three layers of fabric. I patted my matted hair as tears spilled down my cheeks, creating small red rivers.
It takes a strong will.
It takes a strong will.
Knight Kelsus’s words repeated inside my head as I wondered if I had what it took to remain sane, to remain true. I’d always thought of myself as a strong person, but my tribulations had amounted to wilted flowers and ruined embroidery. Even if these last few months had tested me in unexpected ways, this was much different.
Every day you will want to give up... but no matter how far you fall, you can climb back up.
Climb up.
Indeed, it felt as if I’d fallen into the deepest hole of immorality. How could I ever climb up from here?
When I got myself under control, I picked up my clothes and discarded them in the basket. I took a towel from a shelf and covered my nakedness. As I turned, I found Ferko still sitting on the bench. She was fully naked, watching me closely.
“I’ve never seen anyone recover so quickly after their first tasting,” she said.
What could that mean? That I was made for this? That it really was my destiny?
She stood. Her body was lean and muscular. She had small breasts and narrow hips. Scars crisscrossed her arms, legs, torso. I’d acquired a few of my own in my short time here. Ferko had been at this for years.
“It took me three years to become Rook,” she said, a measure of resentment in her voice. “And six more to become Knight, and here you are, a mere four months and look how far you’ve climbed. It’s not unheard of, but unusual. You’re very lucky.”
She’d said the last word as if she believed luck was the only reason I’ve made it this far, and maybe she was right. I certainly never imagined or planned to take Rook Neculai’s place the way I had. Still, I had defeated Breen and Yessenia fairly. That had to count for something.
“Do you want to be Queen, Rook Flagfall?” she asked.
Her blunt question took me by surprise. “Isn’t that why we’re here, Knight Ferko?” I said and was glad my voice was steady.
I walked toward the showers, forsaking the hot spring and bathtubs. I wanted running water to wash all the blood away, then drain it out of my sight. I selected the very last stall and stepped onto the porcelain floor, drawing the curtain closed. I had no desire to talk to Knight Ferko. All I wanted was to wash away my crime and go to sleep so I could forget what had happened.
The curtain flew open as Knight Ferko jerked it out of the way. I jumped and took a step back, my back hitting the exposed metal piping that delivered the water. Maybe a shower had been a bad idea. I was caged. By The Decapitator.
“You and I are the only clever women in higher ranks,” she said. “Rook Daciana is useless if you haven’t noticed. The Bishops are both male and very close to Lovina. They’ve been with her for hundreds of years. They protect her and she protects them.”
This was new information to me. It made sense, but I hadn’t thought about it. I’d been too busy trying to survive being Pawn.
Why was Ferko telling me all of this?
“Almost three-hundred years,” she continued. “That’s how long Rasvan and Viorel have been Bishops.”
Their names sounded strange. Almost no one ever said them out loud as if doing so would conjure them. I’d never even seen their faces, only their white, hooded robes as they glided together after the Queen on a couple of occasions. In my mind, I imagined them grotesque, disfigured. Why else would they hide their faces?
Ferko reached inside the shower and turned on the valve. Warm water sprayed between us. It splashed against the floor and circled down the drain, making a hollow sound that seemed too loud.
The Knight leaned in closer and spoke in a whisper. “Neculai was right about one thing. To get far in this game, one should have allies. We can help each other become Bishops. Though after that, it’s everyone for herself.”
I narrowed my eyes. My body was taut with reluctance, which Ferko must have seen because she added, “You don’t have to answer now. You can think about it.”
I had no intention of aligning myself with this woman. If I did, she would expect me to challenge Knight Kelsus and not her. And I had no intention of doing that either. But if I refused...
“I’ll think about it,” I said. “Right now I just want to...” I gesture toward the water.
“Sure,” she said. “You’ve had a hard day. A lot has changed very quickly and more will change still. It takes a few days for the blood to have its full effect.”
“What?” I asked, dumbfounded.
Ferko shrugged. “You’ll see.” She pulled back and closed the curtain as she went. I clutched my towel tightly, wondering what she’d meant exactly.
Was I supposed to find out on my own? Would she not give me any instruction on what to expect? She was my Quadrant leader. It was her job to do so, wasn’t it?
Evil creature!
It must delight her to leave me in the dark. Maybe Kelsus would tell me if I asked. Maybe he was the one I needed as an ally.
Lowering my head, I hung the towel on a hook and turned the valve to increase the water pressure and temperature, then, for the next thirty minutes, tried to wash away my guilt.