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As I neared the White Palace’s gate twenty minutes after leaving Nyro, I suddenly started trembling with cold. I hugged myself and walked through the gates, hunched over and shivering.
“Anything the matter, Rook Flagfall,” one of the guards asked as I crossed the main gate.
“No, I’m fine,” I said, teeth chattering. What was wrong? I’d almost been impervious to cold just moments ago and now...
The guard appraised me with uncertainty but let me go without further questioning.
Ten minutes later, I made it to the palace’s eastern door, practically staggering while my stomach twisted itself up in knots. I stopped. The world spun around me. I blinked at the door and slapped my face.
Why am I here?
It took me a moment to recall. I had a meeting with Knight Ferko. She’d said to be in the training room at four PM sharp, but I was late. Fifteen minutes late, but for what? I searched my addled mind, then remembered.
My next feeding. My next taste of blood.
At the thought, my chest clenched and my mouth went dry. I yanked the door open, stumbled into the hall, and stomped toward the training area. Knight Ferko was waiting in the middle of the long room, her arms crossed over her chest.
“You’re late, Rook Flagfall,” she said, her angular features sharp and mean.
I fell to my knees, pressing a fist against my stomach.
“I’m... sorry,” I gasped, then took a huge gulp of air as if I were asphyxiating.
“I thought I made it clear you should be here on time.” She struck a casual pose and examined her fingernails.
“I... am... sorry,” I said again. “Please... help me.” I crawled on hands and knees and touched one of her boots with trembling fingers.
In a corner of my mind, I was appalled at my behavior. I was on my knees, begging this awful creature for... for what? I shied away from the answer, and instead, told myself it wasn’t true. I would never do something so humiliating. It had to be a dream, one of those nonsensical nightmares that sometimes affected me.
Knight Ferko chuckled. “Not so proud anymore, I see.”
All at once, her amusement died, and she leaned forward and lifted me to my feet. Her grip on my arm was fierce, and I felt like a small child manhandled by an adult.
“This way,” she said, pushing me toward the door, “before you do something stupid.”
After staggering through several long corridors and practically crawling down a winding staircase, Ferko brought me to an arched wooden door with a heavy metal lock. She had a torch in her hand. I stared at it, wondering where and when she’d gotten it.
“I’ll be back in an hour,” she said, placing a large key in the lock.
As the door opened, a sweet scent wafted out of the door, curling under my nose like a finger trying to pull me forward. I staggered into the dark room, aided by a hefty push from the Knight.
The door clanked shut behind me. The lock clicked, and Ferko’s retreating steps echoed outside.
A scared whimper sounded in dark. I peered around as my eyes adjusted. After a few seconds, a huddled figure took shape in one corner. My mouth watered. I wiped a hand across my wet lips and swallowed.
The space was dank, and a musty smell hung in the air, but it was overpowered by a sweet scent emanating from the figure—no, the person, I forced myself to acknowledge—cowering in the corner
Pressing a fist to my mouth, I walked backward until my back hit the door
No no no.
I wouldn’t do this again. I was stronger than this foul desire, this... blood lust. I had killed before, but I hadn’t been aware of what I was doing. The Queen’s blood had been fresh in my veins. Of course, I hadn’t been able to resist.
But now...
My fists clenched. My entire body trembled with tension.
“I... I won’t hurt you,” I said in a shaky voice.
The whimpering stopped. A few sniffles followed, then there was silence. Without any sounds filtering through my ears, the scent of blood seemed to redouble. My veins pulsed sharply. My fingertips and gums ached and my tongue seemed to swell.
With a growl, I clasped my hands to my temples and held my breath. When the ache in my lungs got unbearable, I inhaled sharply. The sweet scent hit me anew, more pungent than before, and it nearly brought me to my knees.
I clenched my arms around my stomach, reining in the urge to attack.
“Please, say something,” I begged. “I don’t want to hurt you.” My plea was desperate. Tears filled my eyes as the anguish of my inner struggle raked through my body. Without meaning to, I took a step forward as I focused on the victim Ferko had prepared for me.
“My... my name is Bogdana,” a weak female voice whimpered in the dark. She sounded terrified, like a mewling kitten cornered with a rabid dog.
“Bogdana,” I repeated numbly as the image of a young woman took shape in my mind.
Tanned skin, light brown hair, narrow eyes that seemed to smile. I had known a lady’s maid by the name of Bogdana. This is who I imagined, and it helped.
Feeling more in control, I took a step back and pressed my back to the door again. “I am Bianca,” I said, using my first name on purpose. It reminded me of who I had been before I lifted the Queen’s cup to my lips, of who I could be again if I remained strong. I would atone. I could live with this maddening pain if it meant never hurting anyone again. “How old are you, Bogdana?”
“I’m... t-twenty-four, ma’am,” she said between loud breaths.
Twenty-four. Only five years older than me. She had her whole life ahead of her. Why would Ferko pick someone like this? Not that it was right to pick someone older, but...
“I’m nineteen,” I said, finding it easier to talk as a measure of calm returned to me.
“I have a fa-family,” she added in a desperate tone. “A husband and a little girl. She’s only two. Her name is Elisabeta.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and faced the door, my palms flat against the wood. I was still trembling as if I were out in the bitter cold, but I felt more in control. Talking to her was helping.
Gods! A little daughter. If I still held any doubt that Ferko was heartless, this erased all trace of it.
There was a rustle of fabric. “Please let me go back to my family,” Bogdana said.
My mouth worked. I swallowed. My stomach twisted with hunger while my veins seemed to heat as if hot oil were running through them. Still, I remained in control. I could do this. I was strong.
Bogdana took a step closer. I heard the exact moment her naked foot brushed the stone floor. “Please, Bianca,” she said in a helpless voice.
Exquisite pain seared through me, surging directly into my heart. I threw my head back, the pain in my gums and fingertips unbearable. Faster than my foggy mind could discern, I whirled just as Bogdana took another step, her trembling hands outstretched, reaching for me as if in supplication. Her sweet scent pierced through me like a hot spear. I bared my teeth and lunged forward.
Grabbing a handful of her hair and yanking her backward, I sank my teeth into the warm, delicious life that pulsed at her throat.