Charlotte greeted Lord and Lady Huxley, then waited for her mother to do the same before they moved into the ballroom together. Her stomach tightened with each step, and she wished she were anywhere but at the ball. The fact that her mother had accompanied her only made her feel worse. Lady Wynn would be watching her every move once Lord Samuelson arrived.
“The décor is horrendous,” her mother murmured as they viewed the room where a mirrored wall reflected the guests along with an amazing amount of gilt on every possible surface. Even the potted plants had some sort of golden glitter on their leaves.
Lady Huxley’s garish taste was less than pleasing to Charlotte’s eye as well. “Perhaps a bit overdone,” she agreed.
The other guests who had recently arrived seemed equally taken aback based on the whispers and frowns as they glanced about.
The ball wasn’t one they’d planned on attending, but Lord Samuelson mentioned he’d be going when he called the previous day so her mother had changed her mind.
The hollow feeling inside Charlotte made her feel fragile as if a bump or misstep might shatter her. The sense of impending doom didn’t help either. There was no other way to describe how she felt about Lord Samuelson’s courtship.
“Now remember what we discussed,” her mother said as they took a turn around the room.
Discussed? Their earlier conversation had been anything but a discussion. The clarity in her mother’s eyes had only made everything she’d said worse.
“You will charm Lord Samuelson by whatever means necessary,” Lady Wynn had begun that afternoon when she’d asked Charlotte what she intended to wear.
They had been in Charlotte’s bedchamber, which afforded some privacy without her father’s presence, prompting Charlotte to try to explain her unease.
“Mother, I don’t see what the hurry is for me to marry anyone, let alone Lord Samuelson.”
“It isn’t for you to understand. We must follow your father’s wishes in this.”
“But I don’t care for the lord.” Nothing about him appealed to her. He was unpleasant in both manner and looks.
She had yet to find a subject they agreed on. She enjoyed riding, but he did not. She liked to visit museums, but he did not. He thought attractions such as Vauxhall Gardens and Astley’s Amphitheatre vulgar. She’d been so frustrated with the conversation during their drive in Hyde Park that she finally asked what he did enjoy.
“I find politics interesting as well as farming techniques. A hand of whist at my club is always a pleasure, especially when it involves a wager. I have no desire to travel beyond England’s shores as I saw enough of the world during my Grand Tour to convince me that there is no country greater than ours.”
While Charlotte agreed that England was wonderful, she longed to see how people in other countries lived. Surely, there was much to be learned from doing so.
“I hope you don’t enjoy reading,” Lord Samuelson had said as he guided the horses along Rotten Row with a heavy hand. “There’s nothing worse than an over-educated female with strong opinions on issues that are none of her concern.”
Though she knew she should hold her tongue, how could she? She refused to stop reading once she married nor did she care to have to hide the pleasure she gained from books. She knew her father would be appalled at the conversation, but this was their chance to learn more about each other and work through issues before they arose. And if Lord Samuelson took a sudden dislike to her, all the better.
Yet she only had to remember her mother’s expression during her visit with her father to tread carefully. She couldn’t put her wishes above that of her mother’s wellbeing.
“Actually, I do like to read,” she admitted. “Very much.”
“Poetry?” he’d asked with a hopeful tone.
“Yes, but I read all sorts of books. I enjoy learning new things.”
“Such as better ways to manage a household?” He looked down his nose at her, his thin lips pressed together. No doubt he often did that to hide his unsightly teeth.
Compromise, she reminded herself and did her best to hold back her temper. “I can’t say that I’ve read any books on that particular topic. Do you enjoy reading mysteries? The author A. Golden has written several that are enthralling.”
Lord Samuelson scoffed. “I have much weightier subjects on my mind than imaginary crimes.”
“What do you do for entertainment?” She wanted to understand how he spent his leisure time.
He frowned as if he found her question odd. “The usual pursuits. Going to my club, watching the races, reading the newssheet.”
“I’ve never been to a horse race.” As she pondered the idea, she thought she might enjoy it. If only she could have gone to one with James. “What’s it like?”
“Nothing a proper lady should see.”
“But many ladies attend the races.”
“Not ladies with whom I associate.”
Charlotte bit back a retort. The conversation only made her long for James. He’d not only appreciated her joy of learning and adventure but shared it.
She’d given up on finding an interest she shared with Lord Samuelson after that.
Now as she glanced around the ballroom in search of him, she told herself she needed to accept her fate. If her father was set on the man as her future husband, there was little she could do—or rather, nothing she could do—to change his mind.
Charlotte stole a look at her mother. Perhaps she would also find herself seeking refuge in frequent glasses of sherry once she was married to the lord. Something to dull her senses so she could bear her life.
The idea was so depressing that she closed her eyes briefly.
“There he is,” her mother whispered, which had Charlotte opening her eyes to follow her gaze. “Prepare yourself. And for goodness sake, smile.”
“Good evening to you both,” Lord Samuelson said with a bow. “May I have the honor of a dance?” he asked Charlotte after pleasantries were exchanged.
“The pleasure would be mine.” She curtsied with what she hoped resembled a smile rather than a grimace.
He escorted her to the dance floor, not bothering with conversation. She pushed aside the ache at the thought of James and comforted herself that at least this was one thing she and Lord Samuelson both enjoyed.
The scotch reel was a lively dance, and her spirits rose as the music began. While Lord Samuelson wasn't especially light on his feet, she ignored his lack of skill for the moment and focused on the steps. The faces of those along the dance floor were a blur as they moved quickly across the floor.
But one face was clearly visible and caused her to falter.
James.
Her heart hammered, threatening to escape her chest. She quickly caught up with the other dancers yet couldn't help but crane her neck to look for him, wondering if she’d been mistaken. What was he doing there? She certainly hadn’t expected to see him this evening. Especially given the way they’d parted.
She’d only had a glimpse of him, but he seemed to be watching her intently. Or was that merely her imagination? Did he wish to speak to her? Though her heart lifted at the thought, she quickly reined in her hope. If he suggested a new adventure despite her having told him she was done with them, she’d have to refuse. Her low spirits returned, and the dance lost its luster.
Luckily, Lord Samuelson didn't seem to notice the change in her mood. After the music drew to a close, he patted her hand before moving it to the crook of his arm. “Won't it be a relief when we don't have to bother dancing?”
“You don't care to dance?”
“No, I do not.”
While not completely surprised, she sighed with disappointment. They truly had nothing in common. As he guided her through the guests toward her mother, she couldn’t resist looking for James, but he seemed to have disappeared. She told herself that was for the best even as she continued searching for him.
“Is there someone for whom you're looking?” Lord Samuelson asked.
“I was hoping my friend Miss Gold would be here this evening.”
“I do hope you don't intend to encourage a friendship with someone like her.”
“What do you mean?”
“She appears to have little regard for proper behavior,” he said with a frown of disapproval. “She has no respect for her betters.”
“Betters?” That was another strike against him. Charlotte took some pleasure in the thought that Margaret didn't like him either.
“She and her family are merely upstarts.”
“Her father was awarded a knighthood for his service to England. Surely you appreciate that,” Charlotte argued.
“To a certain extent, yes. However, that doesn’t compare to a peer.”
Charlotte jerked to a halt, the urge to defend her friend rushing through her.
“Charlotte?” Her mother's stern tone had her blinking. She clamped her lips tight before she expressed what was truly on her mind. Never would she allow her husband to decide who her friends were.
Yet as she looked at her mother, whose narrowed gaze held a warning, she realized she might not have a choice. While Lady Wynn had many acquaintances, Charlotte couldn’t name any with whom her mother frequently visited. Was that because of her father?
Doubt flooded Charlotte as she glanced at Lord Samuelson. How could she go along with her father’s order when everything about it felt so wrong?
“Good evening,” a deep voice said from behind her, sending a torrent of shivers along her skin.
She slowly turned to face James, and her entire world settled into place, along with her heart.
~*~
James ignored the tension in the air as he greeted Lady Wynn and Charlotte. “I hope this evening finds you both well.” Then he nodded at Lord Samuelson, wishing the man would go away.
“Redmond,” Samuelson said, his tone rather chilly, suggesting he wished the same of James.
“I’m surprised to see you here,” Charlotte said, sounding rather breathless. A lovely rose flushed her cheeks as her blue-green eyes held on him.
He drank in her presence, realizing how much he’d missed her. He hadn’t been able to ignore the bone-deep need he’d had to see her.
The conversation with his mother and father had eased some of his worries and made him feel almost normal. He’d spent the past two days considering what his father had said, and an unfamiliar, fragile hope had slowly grown within him.
He needed to process his conflicting emotions about the war before he could seriously consider a different path for his future than the one on which he’d settled. But if he waited too long, he’d miss the possibility of Charlotte.
He knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that she was the key to everything he wanted. He didn’t consider himself a vain man, but surely he was a better choice for her, broken parts and all, than Samuelson. When Edward had mentioned she would be attending the ball, he couldn’t resist coming as well.
“May I have the honor of a dance?”
“I’d enjoy that.” She said the words quickly while avoiding looking at her mother and offered her hand as if anxious to escape.
“Why do I feel as if I interrupted something?” James asked as he escorted her to the dance floor.
“You didn’t.” She opened her mouth as if to explain but shook her head. “I didn’t expect to see you again. At least not for a while.” The quick glance she gave him from beneath her lashes was full of questions.
He didn’t know if he had answers. He only knew that the time they’d spent together over the past few weeks made him feel something he hadn’t thought possible. While he wasn’t certain he could name it, what he felt for her was special. A gift not to be ignored.
Seeing her dancing with Lord Samuelson had made him even more determined to convince her to give him a chance if it wasn’t too late. He couldn’t let her go without a fight.
“I’ve missed you.” The words slipped out before he thought better of them.
Her eyes widened, her expression softening. “I’ve missed you as well.” When she glanced over her shoulder to where Lord Samuelson remained with her mother, he knew the situation was complicated.
“Let us focus on the dance, shall we?” he suggested. They had many things to discuss but none of them could be resolved this evening. He’d only wanted her to know that he cared for her. With luck, that would open possibilities. For the moment, that was enough.
They joined the other couples and moved in time to the music.
“Your skills are improving,” Charlotte declared with a laugh.
“I’ve been practicing.”
“You have?”
“Only with you.” He took her hand to turn and step toward the opposite end of the dance floor. “You provided the inspiration I needed.” Did she realize he wasn’t speaking only of dancing?
She smiled and his heart shifted. That alone told him he was doing the right thing.
“Are there any adventures in your future?” he asked when the dance allowed the question. He chose to ignore the fact that she’d told him she couldn’t see him again when they last parted. He hoped to convince her otherwise.
The glow in her face dimmed. “No.” Her gaze shifted toward where her mother stood. “Those are no longer possible.”
Concern filled him as he studied her expression. “Oh?”
“My father’s arrangements are moving along rather quickly.”
“Why the hurry? The Season only recently began.”
“In all honesty, I don’t know. But Father refuses to listen to any suggestions about slowing the plans.”
They finished the dance in silence. James was deep in thought, trying to decide how best to proceed. But before he considered his options, he needed to know one important detail.
“Charlotte,” he began as he offered his arm, hoping he could find the right way to ask his question, “if I were to call on you soon—”
Tears filled her eyes even as she shook her head. “I don’t think that would be wise.” She glanced at her mother as if worried she could somehow overhear their conversation.
“Set aside what everyone else wants,” he whispered as he walked as slowly as possible toward Lady Wynn. “How would you feel if I called on you?”
“You must know how much I would enjoy that.” Yet she looked away. “But I fear it’s too late.”
“We shall see.” He had to think it wasn’t given the fact that her betrothal hadn’t yet been announced.
“James, I don’t think—”
“Do you trust me?”
“Of course.” She replied without hesitation, and his heart shifted.
“That is all I need to know.” He lifted her gloved hand to brush his lips against it. “I will see you soon.”
The time had come to move forward with his life. To claim it as his own. To act rather than react. The future was coming regardless of whether he welcomed it. If he had a chance for happiness with Charlotte, he needed to reach for it. To fight for her and all that simmered between them. Being with her helped to mend the broken parts of him. He wouldn’t rest until he was whole enough to deserve her.