‘Surprised are you, Lily? Doesn’t seem ’type, does he? Pillar of society ’n’ all that.’
‘Nothing surprises me any more, Mrs Walker,’ Lily answered. ‘Though I have to say I didn’t expect it – of either of you.’
Martha Walker gave a shrug. ‘He doesn’t frequent those places now – at least I don’t think he does. He doesn’t need to, not since he married me.’ She lifted her chin and observed Lily closely as if gauging her reaction. Then she gave a lopsided smile. ‘He wouldn’t want anyone to know about it, but some do remember him. Jamie’s mother, for instance.’
‘Does she know about Oliver?’
‘No, she doesn’t, and I wouldn’t tell her in case it got back to Jamie. He’s a snake in ’grass as I’m sure you’ve found out. But Mr Walker,’ she went on, ‘although he’s a very professional man, likes to keep in touch with that side of things, hence his involvement with ’society for ’protection of women.’ She gave a caustic grunt. ‘He gets some kind of thrill out of it, I expect, even though he doesn’t touch ’em.’
‘I don’t want to hear any more, Mrs Walker.’ Lily felt sickened. Charles Walker had been so kind to her and she had been about to bring Alice to him for a consultation. Now she couldn’t. Was there not a man anywhere whom she could trust?
‘I haven’t finished.’ Mrs Walker’s eyes were wide, the pupils dark and large. ‘I want to tell you about Oliver and the baby I lost. Sit down,’ she said, for Lily had risen to leave. ‘Please.’
Lily sat again. ‘I can’t stay long,’ she said.
‘I was expecting Oliver when Mr Walker first came to Leadenhall Square.’ It was as if she hadn’t heard Lily. ‘I was lovely then, beautiful even, and I used to wear such pretty clothes.’ She glanced down at her drab gown. ‘I went to Rena’s whenever I could afford it, and I looked after my things, dressed them up, you know. I had some pride. Mr Walker was taken with me right from ’start. Besotted, he was. Told me he wanted to save me from ’life I was living. So I said that I wanted to get out of that pit and make something of myself. I didn’t tell him I was pregnant and you couldn’t tell. I hadn’t put on any weight.’
‘Surely he must have guessed?’ Lily said disbelievingly. ‘He’s an apothecary, for goodness’ sake!’
Martha Walker laughed and shook her head. ‘I told him I’d keep myself pure once I’d left. I knew he was mad for me and it paid off: he applied for us to get married straight away. Oliver was late and he never guessed.’
‘But your little girl, the one who died?’ Lily interrupted. In spite of not wanting to discuss what she considered a private matter, she was anxious to know about the baby who died, and how it tied in with Daisy, for whom she was now very concerned.
‘There were about fifteen months between her and Oliver.’ To Lily’s surprise, Martha Walker’s eyes filled with tears. ‘I wanted—’ There was a catch in her voice. ‘I wanted a child by my husband. I was grateful to him for giving me a new life. It would have made us a proper family and it would’ve proved to him that I was done with ’old ways for ever.’ She licked her lips. ‘We loved her, but she didn’t live long and Charles changed. He blamed me and he treats me like a whore again whenever we’re alone.’ She heaved a breath. ‘But I have to dress in these dreary clothes so that no other man will be attracted to me.’
‘How does Daisy come into it?’ Lily asked. ‘I don’t understand.’
Mrs Walker stared at her. ‘Well, don’t you see? Eventually it will be like having a daughter here. She’ll become part of our family.’
‘But she’s a servant, Mrs Walker.’ Lily was aghast. ‘And besides, she’s my daughter, not yours.’
Mrs Walker gave her a condescending look. ‘But you’d give her up. She’d have a much better life with us, and ’chance of a good marriage. Surely you’d agree to that?’
‘Does Mr Walker know about your plan?’ Lily asked faintly. ‘Has he agreed to this without consulting me?’ She’s crazy, she thought. Unhinged. Why would she think I’d give Daisy up?
‘Why, no! Not yet I haven’t.’ Lily knew then for sure that the woman was unbalanced. ‘I haven’t discussed it. I won’t, not until Daisy is ready.’
Lily walked back towards Leadenhall Square in a daze, then abruptly turned round and went back in the direction of Rena’s. Mrs Walker needed to talk to someone, she had said, and now so do I, she thought. I must try to find something good about this day for otherwise it’ll be the second worst day of my life.
Rena was sitting in an easy chair in her shop. She had her feet up on a footstool but put them down as Lily entered.
‘Please don’t get up,’ Lily said. ‘I haven’t come to buy anything. I’ve come to talk if you can spare me a minute.’
Rena waved a lazy arm towards another chair. ‘Sit down, do. Trade is quiet today. The round-up by ’police has quietened everybody down. All my regulars, I mean.’ She arched her fine eyebrows. ‘I still have my fine ladies’ maids coming in to sell me their mistresses’ old gowns.’
‘How does that work out?’ Lily said curiously. ‘Do they tek a commission for selling them?’
Rena laughed. ‘Bless you, no. A lady gives her maid any old gowns she doesn’t want any more, or which have been made over so often that she’s sick of them. Then, because they’re totally unsuitable for ’kind of life a maid leads, ’maid brings them in to me. I buy them and she keeps ’money.’ She sighed. ‘But then I have to unpick them and turn them into something unrecognizable.’
‘Do you do your own sewing?’ Lily asked.
‘Oh, yes.’ Rena nodded. ‘I’m a good seamstress, and I should be sewing now instead of sitting here being lazy. But sometimes I want to do nothing! What I would like to do is go out of the shop for a day and see what’s happening elsewhere. I’m fifty years old and tied to these four walls. You might think I’m lucky to be in such a good position; but I used to be an actress and led a varied and exciting life, and now I get so bored!’
Lily felt a flurry of hope. ‘Would you ever consider taking on an assistant?’
‘Couldn’t afford to pay you, m’dear,’ Rena said patiently. ‘I’ve been asked countless times to take on young girls, but ’shop doesn’t make enough to warrant anybody else’s wages.’
‘Not me!’ Lily said. ‘I don’t understand fashion. But Lizzie,’ she said. ‘She does, and she can sew.’ She gazed pleadingly at Rena. ‘She’s expecting a babby. She can’t stay wi’ us once Jamie finds out and there’s onny ’workhouse for her.’ She swallowed hard. ‘She’d work for nothing. Just her bed ’n’ board. And she’d be an asset. She’s got such style.’
‘But what would we do with a young baby here?’ Rena objected, sitting up straight in her chair. ‘I know ’girl you mean, and yes, she does have a certain style from what I’ve seen of her. Some women do. I had it myself when I was young.’
‘You still do,’ Lily murmured. ‘And Lizzie does too. She trimmed an old hat of Mrs Flitt’s, our cleaning woman; she used a scarf and pigeon feathers and you wouldn’t have known it for ’same hat. Her dream – not that she’s likely to achieve it – is to have her own shop. Selling new clothes,’ she added, though not telling her that Lizzie had dismissed Rena’s own stock as second-hand tat.
‘Ah, well,’ Rena said. ‘I had that dream once, but it didn’t materialize. I didn’t have the money or anyone to help me.’ She pondered awhile and then murmured, ‘I feel sometimes that I haven’t achieved what I’d have liked to. But I know nothing about children,’ she added fervently. ‘I couldn’t cope if it cried.’
Lily waited, her heart pounding, for Rena to say more. She was considering the proposal, Lily could tell. Rena was gazing round her shop as if rearranging it; then she glanced towards the door which led to her private rooms. She looked up towards the ceiling, stroking her long neck as she thought.
‘I do have a spare room as it happens,’ she said at last. ‘It’s full of boxes and lengths of material that I keep thinking I’ll fashion into something when I’ve time to spare or be bothered. Is the girl sick? Has she long to go?’ she asked. ‘I can’t be doing with sickness.’
‘No. She’s very healthy. I didn’t even know she was expecting. Knowing Lizzie as I do,’ she added, ‘she’ll just get on with it. She wouldn’t be a trouble.’
Rena toyed with the rings on her fingers and made expressive gestures with her lips, pouting and pressing them together. ‘All right,’ she said abruptly. ‘Send her to see me. I’m not promising anything, mind. If we don’t take to each other then the answer is no. If I say yes then she can stay for free and I’ll feed her in exchange for help in the shop and some sewing. After she’s given birth we’ll review the situation, cos I’m not one for babies, as I said.’
Lily heaved out a sigh. ‘Thank you! Thank you so much. I’m sure you won’t regret it.’
‘I hope not,’ Rena said wryly. ‘You’ll be to blame if I do.’
Lily smiled and rose to go. ‘I shan’t mind that. Were you never married, Rena? Did you never love a man?’
Rena started to shake her head, but then said, ‘I did once love somebody, but he let me down very badly and I vowed that it wouldn’t happen again. I can do without a man in my life.’
‘Just like Lizzie then,’ Lily murmured as she took her leave.
What will Jamie say? she wondered as she walked back. He’ll be mad at me when Lizzie leaves. Whether Rena takes her on or not she’ll have to go. He won’t let her stay, not if she’s not earning her keep. So that will mean just Alice and Cherie left of the original girls, and Alice isn’t well. I heard her prowling about during the night as if she couldn’t sleep. Cherie, well, how much longer can I keep her safe?
A platoon of soldiers came marching towards her and she stood by the tower of St Mary’s church to watch and let them pass. The road was very narrow here and Mrs Flitt had told her there had been talk of widening the road and building a new town hall for years, but the plan had never been developed. So many old buildings and narrow streets, she thought as she saw the buildup of hansom cabs and horses and carts also waiting for the platoon to pass. How I miss the open views of the countryside and the salty smells of the sea.
Though the soldiers marched eyes front as they came past, one of them, without moving his head, glanced her way and gave her a saucy wink. He was very young and an unbidden spurt of tears came to her eyes as she was suddenly reminded of Johnny. He had been seventeen when he joined the army. He could see no future in being a farm labourer, he’d said, and besides, he wanted some adventure. We were both so young, she thought, as tears ran down her cheeks. Perhaps we should have waited. But he was so eager to be married. He wanted to be sure that I’d wait for him, he said; didn’t want me to love anyone else whilst he was away. I wouldn’t have done, Johnny. I never did. But you were away so long. You had no idea how hard it was for me to bring up two children without you.
She gave a small sob and turned abruptly as someone took hold of her elbow. ‘Are you all right, Mrs Fowler?’ a quiet voice asked. ‘Can I help you?’
It was Thomas Fulton. He wore a dark frock coat and top hat and carried a small leather case. ‘You seem distressed. Are you still anxious about finding the money for the fine? I told you we could probably help you.’
‘No.’ She sniffed, feeling in her pocket for a handkerchief. ‘No, it’s not that. It was seeing the soldiers that upset me. I was reminded of my husband. My first husband, I mean.’ She took a deep sobbing breath. ‘I still miss him, you see, and not knowing how or when he died is a hurt that never goes away.’
Thomas Fulton nodded. ‘You made all the usual enquiries with the military authorities, I suppose?’
‘Yes.’ She blew her nose. ‘But they didn’t know anything much. They just said he was missing somewhere and presumed dead.’ She gave a watery smile. ‘Sorry. It just comes over me sometimes – ’memory of him, I mean. I’ll be all right, but it’s been a strange kind of morning.’
‘If I can help you at all,’ he said, bringing a printed card out of his pocket, ‘don’t hesitate to send for me. I live not far away and if I’m out on a call my wife or housekeeper will know where I am.’
He touched his hat as he moved away and she mouthed her thanks and glanced at the address. He lived in the High Street, which ran parallel with Lowgate and alongside the Old Harbour. Dr Thomas Fulton, she read. ‘He’s a doctor!’ Not just a charitable man who fills his time helping unfortunates. Would he see Alice? Could we afford him?
‘Doctor!’ she called after him. ‘Dr Fulton! Please, wait!’