In which the birthday boy is tired but happy.
Mr Bond, thanks for your time.
Thank you and good evening.
Well, you’re obviously happy with the result this week?
Clearly, yes. Very gratified. I think it’s a good result, yes I can get on with the rest of my life now.
It hasn’t been an easy time.
It can’t have been. It must have been bloody awful for you. Frankly I don’t know how you bore it.
It must have been pretty bad for you too.
Wasn’t all beer and skittles, no. I’ve had a shocking time. I have had a shocking time.
You even had memory loss there at one stage.
I had what?
Memory loss.
I just don’t recall.
And wasn’t there some question of diminished intelligence?
Well, you’ll need to obviously speak to the banks involved. I don’t know why they gave me the money in the first place. I never understood why they’d given me the money. When it was happening I didn’t understand it.
Your creditors ended up getting what?
Oh they got completely root…Oh…you mean a money answer?
Yes, they got what, half a cent in the dollar?
Half a cent in the dollar, yes, pretty good result all round. They’d be well pleased.
I suppose they were lucky to be aboard really, weren’t they?
They were, yes. They could’ve lost the lot. They could’ve lost the lot. It was a win-win situation.
It was a what?
Win-win.
What’s that?
Win-win?
Yes.
It means I won twice. How can you do this job if you don’t know what’s going on? Don’t you read the papers? You ought to have a look. Pop out and get one.
Mr Bond, is the law fair do you think?
Oh, very fair in this case. I think this is a great country in this respect. I think this is a great…Let me say this: this is a great country.
This is a great country, isn’t it?
This is a great country, it encourages people to have a go. ‘Have a go,’ it says. ‘Have a go.’ It doesn’t punish you.
It doesn’t stop you at all, does it?
It doesn’t even know you’ve done it until you’re out of the area.
What do you think now, looking back at those Bond-Skase years?
Well, I don’t know Mr Skase personally, if I can say that, but I do admire him. I take my hat off to Mr Skase, he’s done remarkable things.
What’s he done?
He’s invented a cure for emphysema for a start.
What is it?
Well, you probably couldn’t afford it.
What do you do?
You get six hundred million dollars and you vaporise it.
And your breathing clears up?
No. His does.
But we can’t even get him back into Australia.
Oh, he’ll come back to Australia. Of course he’ll come back. Oh, nothing surer.
When?
I’d say for the Olympics. 2000.
Why would he do that?
Didn’t you see the photo this week? I reckon he’ll be the Spanish 1500 metres champion within a fortnight. They’re not going to leave him out of the team.
Mr Bond, thank you.
Thank you, Shaun.
I’m not Shaun.
That’s what you think, Bryan.