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Intense brown eyes stared at me from the window.
“Gah!” I yelped and scrambled away.
My head hit a wooden headboard with a dull thud. I rubbed my scalp. The intense brown eyes belonged to a tall man with dark brown hair tied back in a bun. Now that the initial shock of finding someone studying me while I slept had faded, I recognized him as Shade’s second-in-command. Man-bun. Or at least, that’s what I called him in my head. One of these days I really needed to ask what his real name was.
“How do you feel?” Man-bun asked, gracefully pretending not to have noticed me scuttle away like a startled crab.
Untangling my limbs from the sheets, I studied the white bandage around my left forearm for a few seconds before flexing my fingers. “Good... I think?” I flicked my eyes back to his face. “Shade?”
“Alive. Thanks to you.” He rose from the chair. “I’ll let him know you’re up.”
The tall assassin strode through the room but then surprised me by halting halfway to the door. He started back up but then stopped again, as if he couldn’t quite decide what to do. At last, he swung around and leveled those observant eyes on me again.
“The Master explained what happened.”
Aw, shit. What has Shade told them now? Keeping my face carefully neutral, I just watched him.
“You went back for him,” Man-bun continued. “You didn’t need to but you did, just because you had a bad feeling. Then, you sacrificed precious minutes of your own life dragging him here even though you knew you were dying of a poison quickly spreading through your veins. You take care of your friends.” He held my gaze steady. “So does the guild. We won’t forget this.”
Without waiting for a reply, he closed the distance to the door in a few long strides and disappeared into the hallway beyond. Huh. I had not seen that coming. It appeared as though the risk of me getting my throat slit because my smart mouth had ticked off the death guild one too many times was now considerably lower. Wasn’t that an interesting development?
The door cracked open and another tall black-clad assassin stepped through. “You really are a hard person to kill.”
“So are you,” I observed.
Shade’s mouth twitched upwards in a smile. He looked as healthy and arrogant as ever, but when he raked his fingers through his black hair, I swore I could see some tension leaving his body. Strange. I wondered what had put him on edge.
“Bringing the darts and the dagger was a smart move,” he said, dropping into the empty chair and swinging his feet onto the windowsill. “Because of that, my people could give you the antidote straight away.”
“You just happened to have the antidote lying around?”
Shade lifted his eyebrows, amusement evident on his face. “We’re the Assassins’ Guild. We have the antidote to every known poison in here. For obvious reasons.”
“Oh. Right.” I cleared my throat and glanced out the window instead.
It was still dark outside so the candles flickering around the room was the only source of light. Wait. Still dark? Was I sure about that? I moved my eyes back to the assassin in the chair.
“I’m getting a bit sick of asking this question but... how long was I out?”
“About one full day. The attack was last night.”
“And you? How long were you out for?”
“Because you brought in the darts, they could give me something to counter the paralytic. It wore off after an hour or so.”
I studied him. “Are you okay?”
A soft laugh escaped his lips as he shook his head at me. “Am I okay? You’re the one who got poisoned.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
He swung his feet off the windowsill and pushed out of the chair. “Speaking of, Liam’s here. He refused to leave until you woke up, and now I’m pretty sure he’s started making friends with my assassins.”
I managed a hoarse chuckle. “That sounds like Liam.”
“I’ll go let him know you’re awake.”
“Yeah.”
Only the bed and the chair by the window furnished the room so his footsteps echoed against the bare walls as he made his way to the door. When he reached it, he paused a second with his hand on the handle and looked back at me.
“I, uhm...” the Master Assassin trailed off.
The look on his face was one I knew very well. Gestures of gratitude and appreciation weren’t exactly my strong suit either, so I recognized the struggle in others.
“Yeah, me too,” I assured him.
Cracking another smile, he gave me a nod before disappearing out the door. Outside the window, the night was quiet. If I’d been unconscious for an entire day, that meant Shade and the other candidates were giving their closing statements tomorrow. Then after that, there was only one more day of grace before the city of Pernula went out to vote. Weeks and weeks of plotting and scheming, fighting and almost dying was coming to an end. In three days’ time, it would all be over.
Feet thundered up the stairs and the door was flung open. Sparkling blue eyes and a mop of curly brown hair appeared in the doorway.
“I was so worried,” Liam said as he flew across the room and drew me into a sheet-tangled hug.
“I’m alright,” I mumbled into his shoulder. “I’m alright.”
He drew back and, with his hands still on my shoulders, stared into my eyes until he was satisfied that I was telling the truth. After giving me a brief nod, he dragged the chair over from the window and plopped down on it next to my bed. He rubbed his hands up and down his face.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“For what?” Reaching out, I pulled his hands from his face. “It’s not your fault that Marcellus tried to assassinate Shade, and I got caught in the middle.” I let out a soft chuckle. “Though, you’ve gotta appreciate the irony in someone trying to assassinate the Master of the Assassins’ Guild.”
I thought Liam would laugh at my stupid joke but when he looked at me, his eyes only held sadness. And shame.
“Not that,” he said. “I’m sorry for how I’ve been behaving lately.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re a violent person.”
A surprised laugh made it out of my throat. “Thanks?”
Liam gave me an apologetic smile. “Wait, just let me finish. I’ve told you this before and you know it’s true. You’re the kind of person who fights and kills without hesitation or remorse. And I know why. After Rain died, you didn’t want to watch anyone else you care about get hurt.”
Pain and sorrow bled from my heart at the mention of Rain. The girl I had put into harm’s way because I wanted to help some random strangers and the girl who had died because I hesitated to kill someone.
“What I’m trying to say is that you’re fiercely protective of the people you love and that’s not a bad thing.” Liam reached out and put a hand on my bandaged arm. “But I’ve been making you feel bad about who you are because I was confused about who I am... and because I was ashamed.”
I squeezed his hand. “What could you possibly have to be ashamed of?”
His sad eyes met mine. “Do you remember what I said when you told me you had killed Rogue last year?”
“No?”
“Good, I’m glad he’s dead. That’s what I said.” My friend closed his eyes for a moment. “What kind of person says something like that?” He met my gaze again. “I’ve been ashamed of that and I’ve been blaming you for it and making you feel like a bad person just because I didn’t want to face it.”
“Liam, it’s okay.”
He shot up from the chair and started pacing back and forth in front of the bed. “No, it’s not. I’m not an all good person. I know you think that but I was also the kid who got his whole family killed because I was out making trouble.” He ran his hands through his hair. “And not being that person while living in the Underworld is hard because... it’s the Underworld. So that messed-up kid has been popping up again.”
Not sure what to say, I just stared at him. I knew that Liam had been struggling with the meaning of life but I had no idea that he had also been struggling with who he was.
“But being here in Pernula, away from the Underworld, I’ve once and for all realized that I’m not that troubled kid anymore. And I don’t want to be. He will always be a part of me, which is why I sometimes say things like I’m glad he’s dead. But that’s okay because it’s not who I am. This is who I am. And I’m just sorry that I made you feel bad while I figured that out.”
Silence reigned as Liam stopped pacing and instead watched me, apprehension mingling with determination in his dark blue eyes. He was afraid that I was mad at him. If he only knew the terrible dread I’d been carrying around lately because I thought he was angry with me for being who I was.
“You have nothing to apologize for, my friend,” I said. “Nothing at all.”
Liam edged back to the bed and gave me another hug. “I’m glad we met.”
“Me too.”
He looked me up and down. “I’ll let you get some rest.”
After he had slipped out the door again, I slumped back against the pillows. My heart felt loads lighter now that I knew he wasn’t ashamed of me but some of the things he had said these past few weeks still lingered in my mind.
He might not believe that he was an all good person, but I knew he was. With all that charm, he would’ve survived the Underworld perfectly well without me. The only reason he had needed protecting was because of my enemies. If I hadn’t been in his life, people wouldn’t have been kidnapping him and trying to kill him as much as they had. And then he wouldn’t have had any reason to say things like I’m glad he’s dead. I was pretty sure I was the reason his life had been so full of blood and violence this last decade.
Turning around, I pressed the pillow into my cheek to stave off the ache in my heart. A real fine friend, wasn’t I?