Lev is the first person I look for at practice. He and Isaiah are carrying a mat to the gym. Devin rides the rolled-up mat like a cowboy, waving one arm in the air. I laugh and head over to help them. Then I sit with Isaiah, Josh, and Lev, lacing up my pink wrestling shoes.
“It hurts my eyes every time you put those on,” Josh says.
“You should talk. Yours are neon yellow. It’s like someone took a highlighter to your feet.”
Isaiah cracks up, but Lev is silent. I slap him on the back and say “Let’s go” when Coach calls for drills.
“I’m working with Milo tonight,” he says.
Josh gives Lev a sideways look, then turns his back on him and faces me. “C’mon, Mickey. You and me.”
The two of us find an empty spot on the mat. I’m trying to be a good partner for Josh, but I keep wondering why Lev is upset with me. Evan didn’t do anything wrong.
I find Lev in the hall during water break. He’s holding Devin up to the fountain.
“Stop avoiding me,” I say, when Devin finishes drinking and runs back to the gym. “We’re on the same team, Lev. Same weight class.”
Lev fills his water bottle from the fountain. When he’s done, he says, “Spence is wrestling 95 tomorrow.”
“So?” Is that what he’s upset about?
“Just telling you.” He starts to walk away.
I follow. “What’s wrong? I thought we were friends.”
“Nothing’s wrong. I’m tired. That’s all.” He stops and rubs his shoulder. “I run out of steam this late in the season, right around qualifiers.”
“That’s only part of it,” I say. “You’ve been ignoring me, like at the beginning of the season. But this time, it’s ’cause you’re upset with Evan.”
Lev shakes his head.
“Yes, you are. You think you’re better than everyone, Lev Sofer.”
Lev takes a step back. “What? No. I don’t. My record stinks this season.”
“I’m not talking about wrestling. You think you’re better in here.” I poke him in the chest, hard. “You judge people. Nick. And now Evan.”
Lev pulls away from me.
“I’m just telling it like it is.”
He turns around and goes back to the gym.
I’m alone in the hall, gulping air. Finally, I have a wrestling friend and I go and blow it. I let my mouth control my brain. I’ve got to get Lev to talk to me. But as soon as practice is over, Lev and Mr. Sofer are out the door.
“Why’s Lev being such a butt-wad?” Josh asks while we roll up mats. “Did you two break up or something?”
“I have no clue,” I lie.
I’m quiet in the car on the way home. Mom puts on our favorite Broadway cast recording, Bye Bye Birdie. She tries to get me to sing along with her, but I close my eyes and pretend to sleep.
“Want to talk about it?” she asks when we get home.
“Can I shower first? I feel gross.” The truth is, I need a few extra minutes to figure out what I should say to Mom. How am I going to explain what’s happening with Lev, when I don’t understand it myself? He’s so full up with anger about Evan that it’s spilling over onto me.
“I’ll make us hot chocolate,” Mom says.
I take my time in the shower. Am I going to tell Mom what happened at the dual meet? What if she yells at me for snitching on Evan? I don’t know if I can handle that. What makes it worse is that Dad was at the match. If I tell Mom what happened and she agrees with Lev, that Evan injured another wrestler on purpose, she’ll be furious with Dad. He should have stopped Evan somehow. If I open my mouth about the match, my parents might get in a big fight.
Kenna says I’ll do the right thing, but I don’t know what that is. Wrestlers are supposed to be strong, and fearless, but I’m eleven. This is way bigger than I am.
By the time I’m in pajamas, I’ve decided. I’m going to tell Mom what I saw and that’s it. What Lev thinks is his own business. But when I come downstairs, she’s standing in the kitchen in her pink bathrobe, arms wrapped around Evan. He’s not supposed to be here tonight. His red head is bright against Mom’s shoulder. Is he crying? I stop in the doorway.
“Dalia broke up with him.” Mom pats his back.
“Mom, I need to talk to you. You promised.” It’s not fair. Evan left to go live with Dad. He can’t show up and take Mom whenever he feels like it.
Mom hands Evan tissues. He wipes his eyes and gives me a sad smile. “Hey, Mighty Mite. I’m a mess.”
Part of me wants to run over and wrap my arms around his middle, the way I always do. The other part wants to scream, What about me? I’m a mess. I need Mom too.
Cody walks into the house. He’s about to throw his wrestling bag on the floor when he freezes and stares at all of us. He puts up his hands and backs down the hall. “Whoa. I’ll come back later.”
“Give me a few minutes with Evan,” Mom says to me.
I pound up the stairs. Cody is right behind me.
“Why does he do that?” I ask my brother.
“Do what?”
“Take over. Evan has to be the best. He’s a better wrestler than us. He’s cooler than us. Mom loves him more than us.”
Cody follows me to my room. He’s grown so much, he fills up the doorway. “Okay. I’m Next Man Up. Talk to me.” Cody pushes his sweaty hair out of his face.
“Fine.” I sit cross-legged on the floor.
Cody sits too, his knees up against mine. “Mickey, Mom doesn’t love Evan more than us. She just misses him.”
“She lets him get away with stuff. Everyone lets him get away with stuff.”
“How do you think I feel? I’m stuck being the middle kid between Number One Son and the Little Princess.”
I throw my plushie hedgehog at him. “I am not a little princess.”
“I know. You’re Mighty Mite. I think you’re tougher than any of us.”
“Really?”
“Really.” He tosses Spike the hedgehog back to me. “You can tell me, you know. I’ll listen.”
“You’re not going to like it.”
“Try me.” Cody leans against my bed. His sweaty, disgusting St. Matt’s Wrestling shirt is touching my bedspread, but I let it slide. I tell him everything that happened at Evan’s dual meet, what I saw, and what Lev thinks. I tell him how Lev skipped a practice and wouldn’t partner with me tonight.
“Lev thinks Evan hurt that Glenmont wrestler on purpose. And now he’s mad at me, because I’m sticking up for my brother.”
Cody whistles. “And Dalia goes and breaks up with him. That is way too much drama.” He pulls my bare feet into his lap and pinches my big toe. “What do you think? Did Evan hurt that kid?”
I fill my chest with air and blow it out. “Maybe.” I look at Cody. “Should I tell Mom? Dad was there. He saw what happened and didn’t say anything. It could get ugly.”
Cody tilts his head to his shoulder. “Mom might not even believe you. She doesn’t always think straight when it comes to Number One Son.”
I nod, relieved. Cody understands.
“I could tell her for you.”
“Thanks,” I say. Cody’s trying to protect me. It makes me feel better, knowing he would do that. “I think I have to tell her myself.”
He swings his arms and pops up to standing in one motion. “You’ve got this, sis. You’re a tough kid.”
I hold up my hedgehog. “Spike says you’re a good brother, Cody.”