Adelaide stared down at her sketch pad and listlessly drew the outline of a figure. She had no more clothes to design with the event less than a week away. Her team’s designs were complete, and the contest winner had been selected. It’d taken Adelaide many sleepless nights to come to her final decision. Chris’s royal blue slacks and vest set was absolutely gorgeous. And she was in love with so many of the evening gowns that she wanted to own them all. But in the end, Mona won the summer internship with her slim rocket-red business dress and jacket. Its simplicity, class and supreme comfort beat out the tough competition. She would announce the winner right after the fashion show.
Now they just had to execute everything they’d planned for the last three months to perfection. All that work and it came down to one night. It was crazy exciting and nerve-racking.
Michael had done an incredible job with the publicity and the guest list. The set designers and the contractors had decorated the runway and the venue to perfection, and the themed photo booths were generously sponsored by corporations, adding early heft to their fundraising efforts.
She was filled to the brim with anticipation, and tormented by dread. Adelaide would soon have no excuses left to hang on to Michael. She’d vowed to let him go without drama. With a smile and a friendly hug. He cared deeply for her—she knew that in her soul. It would break his heart to hurt her, and telling him she loved him would do exactly that because he would still leave her.
Michael wanted her like a man starved. That much was real. As real as the sky and the air they breathed. But desire was only desire. It wasn’t love. He believed without question that whatever they had should end. But Adelaide was convinced it was because he was hiding something from her. The prospect of forever and the chance of hurting her had held him back from the beginning. If only the stubborn man would trust her with his secret, then they might have a chance for more.
Adelaide scratched out the figure she’d been drawing and crumpled the paper with pent-up frustration. She didn’t want to risk hurting him by telling him she loved him, but losing him would break her soul. All of her. Michael was her everything, just as her mom had been everything to her dad. But what choice did she have?
She stopped breathing. Adelaide did have a choice. She could fight for Michael. Unlike her dad, who had lost her mom to death. I have the choice to fight for him. To fight for us.
“Who’s taking their portable sewing machines?” Chris asked the team.
“A couple of us are, so why don’t you bring your MacGyver briefcase full of spools, pins and all that jazz,” Mona shouted from across the studio.
“Done,” said one of the designers with a quizzical look on her face. “What’s MacGyver?”
“Who is Mac—oh, never mind.” Mona shook her head.
All of her team members were at the studio, getting ready to go over to the loft together. They were having a full rehearsal run, and everyone tittered with anticipation and nerves.
“We’re taking three cars, right?” Adelaide pushed herself to standing using her desk as support. She was low on battery. “Let’s get a move on, guys.”
The loft couldn’t have turned out better. They’d kept the stark white walls and the exposed industrial ceiling, which were perfectly complemented by the floor-to-ceiling windows. To soften the space, they used warm fabrics and muted earthy colors to decorate throughout. Because they weren’t relying on flashy lighting, they added crystals where they could to refract light. Adelaide’s favorite was the curtain of tear-shaped crystals set against the deep blues and greens of a photo booth. And to avoid loud, pounding music and noise, they’d hired a baroque sextet to perform; the sound of their tuning filled the air at the rehearsal.
Adelaide was once again awed by what her designers had accomplished in such a short time. Thanks to them, she learned about different fabrics, materials and their uses that she’d never dreamed of, and grown as a designer.
Their fashion show consisted of three looks by each designer. Business casual, business formal and evening wear. The business casual and formal collections were amazing, combining cleaned-lined professionalism with as close to custom-fitted comfort as they could get off the rack. But the evening wear excited Adelaide the most.
French-seamed tuxes and suits with secret panels, as well as the formal dresses, were to die for. The dresses had bodices without a hint of textured embellishment such as lace, sequins or glitter, which would irritate the sensitive underarms of their target consumers. Instead, her designers used creative methods of using painted fabric, unique geometric shapes, and other too-many-to-name techniques to embolden the bodice. It gave Adelaide chills just thinking about them.
She had so much to be grateful for. By taking risks and making herself vulnerable, her professional goal was finally within reach. It was time she did the same for her real life. For forever.
Michael let himself into the loft as quietly as he could. The rehearsal was going full throttle, and there wasn’t a single noise in the space unless it was meant to be made. Adelaide stood off to the side near the end of the runway, whispering something into her headset. The slight but constant movement of her head showed that she was watching every detail and not missing a thing. He was so proud of her, his shirt stretched taut across his puffed-out chest.
As he watched Adelaide in her element, conducting the dress rehearsal, reality slapped him in the face. This would all be over in three days. They would be over. The heart that had been singing with admiration and pride collapsed into itself. The sharp pain that ripped through him felt like being pierced through with a lance. The thought of losing her cut his soul in half.
He saw spots in front of him, and he forced himself to breath. Michael was in love with Adelaide. Madly, profoundly, desperately. Since when? It had happened so slowly, he didn’t even realize it. Was it that night at the club when her dancing reduced him to a jealous caveman? Or even before then? When she returned home from college a confident, witty woman who could make him laugh with a single quip?
More than anything—he wanted to hold on to her. She was his and he never wanted to let her go. But that wasn’t love. That was greed and selfishness. He wasn’t even able to give her a child of her own—the family she deserved. And if she chose to stay with him, she might lose the family she had. Her dream of becoming a part of Hansol would be shattered. All that loss... She would grow to resent him someday. She would want her family and her dream back. In the end, she would leave him. Just as his ex-wife had.
His hands fisted at his sides, and his teeth bit into his cheeks. The thought of another man loving his Adelaide, making her laugh, making her fall apart, made him want to burn the world down. It almost made him not care if he deprived her of having her own family. Not care if he was being the ultimate selfish bastard. He would be the bastard who loved her more than the world. The bastard who worshipped the ground she walked on.
Michael couldn’t be near her right now. He couldn’t look at her or breathe the same air as her without snatching her away from there. Away from the world. He’d try to find a way to tie her to him. To somehow make her stay. But that wasn’t love. He couldn’t do that to her.
So he left.
He walked out of the loft and blindly drove himself to the Ritz. Garrett had him on his guest list to his old penthouse. It was the closet place he could think of for privacy. When he got himself to his best friend’s place—the one he was badly tempted to betray by holding on to Adelaide—he threw his suit jacket and tie onto a couch and grabbed the fullest bottle of liquor there was at the bar.
And he proceeded to get himself properly drunk.
He didn’t know how much time had passed, but darkness had settled around him. He was halfway through his bottle, and his head felt like it was filled with cotton, but his thoughts and desires were crystal clear. And loud. Mine. Mine. Mine.
No. Not mine. He loved her, and that meant he had to let her go. What brief happiness they might share wouldn’t last as she dealt with losing her dream, losing her family and losing her chance to have a child of her own. With so much loss, how happy could they be? For how long? It was better this way. Michael couldn’t give her everything she deserved, but he could give her freedom to find a man who could give her everything.
He took another swig from the bottle. The ding of the elevator announced someone was in the penthouse. He dismissed it, thinking he’d probably imagined it.
“What the hell?” Adelaide’s voice shook. He belatedly remembered she was also on Garrett’s guest list. His eyes had adjusted to the dark and he could make out her expression with the help of the city lights outside. She looked absolutely livid. “What the literal hell, Michael?”
“Howdy, Adelaide,” he said cheerily. Maybe he’d succeeded in the getting-drunk department. Or maybe he was afraid and was pretending he wasn’t about to lose her. “It’s great to see you.”
“I’ve been texting you and calling you for hours. I even drove to your house. I broke in through your freaking kitchen door to make sure you were okay. But you weren’t there,” she shouted. Michael cringed as her voice shot painfully through his head. “I couldn’t find you anywhere. Because you’re here, getting shit-faced for some reason. Ignoring all my calls and worrying me sick. If I hadn’t remembered you sometimes stayed here after working late, I wouldn’t even be here. Again, what the hell is going on?”
“I’m sorry, baby. I had my phone off, and I didn’t know how much time had passed,” he said, truly sorry for worrying her. “I was at the rehearsal. Everything looked spectacular. But I had a hell of a day, and I didn’t want my mood to taint everyone’s high.”
“You should’ve at least texted me,” she said, her nostrils flaring slightly. Her anger was slowly seeping out of her stance.
“I know. I screwed up. I didn’t want to worry you, and I only ended up worrying you more. Will you forgive me?” He stood from the couch and walked toward her. When he reached her and kissed her softly on the lips, she accepted his kiss. My sweet, generous Adelaide.
Her soft hand rose to cup his face. “Are you okay? What happened?”
“Oh, some people have their heads in the clouds and refuse to listen to reason. It makes my life difficult when someone hangs on to hope when there is none.” He huffed a humorless laugh. “Foolish dreams.”
“And you don’t want to be the one to break it to them. I think I understand,” she said. “But, hey. Don’t beat yourself up about it. You have to do your job. You’re doing what’s best for them.”
“Am I?”
“Of course. You would never intentionally hurt anyone.”
Her goodness and her trust in him tore him to pieces. How could he not love this woman? With a quiet groan, he kissed her with all the pent-up love inside him. He kissed her and didn’t bother to come up for air. For tonight. He wanted to make love to her like she was his. His forever.
With a sound between a whimper and a moan, Adelaide opened up wider for him and tangled her tongue with his. Her kiss was demanding and challenging. His hands roamed down her front and pulled her shirt out of her skirt. He began working on her buttons, but impatience roared in him. He grasped the two sides of her shirt and tore it off her, sending buttons flying all over the floor.
“Michael,” she moaned, struggling with his shirt.
He cursed under his breath and took care of his shirt the same way. He wanted her naked skin against his. He was burning up from within, and he couldn’t wait to have her. He led her to the couch and pulled her onto his lap, spreading her legs to straddle him. Michael roughly pushed up her skirt. He unbuckled his belt and pushed his pants and boxers down far enough to reach his aching erection. Pulling aside her panties, he whispered, “I need you now, baby. I promise you it’ll be okay.”
“It’s okay. I’m on the pill. Take me now. I want nothing between us.”
He ignored the irony of her words and surged inside her. “You’ll be safe. I promise you.”
“I know,” she panted. “I know.”
He licked her throat with a hard stroke of his tongue, then suckled her pretty, rock-hard nipples. She lurched into him and groaned throatily. She drove him crazy. The hot heat of her center cradled him, and he was home.
“You’re mine.” He tilted her hips and surged in deeper. “Say it, Adelaide.”
“I’m yours, Michael. Yours forever.”
“Mine. Forever.”
“And you’re mine, Michael. Forever.”
“I’m yours,” he said fervently.
They found an impossibly fast and hard tempo, her pounding down on him surge for surge, again and again until they came together with a sharp, passionate shout. His body spent and his mind painfully clear, he stood with Adelaide cradled in his arms.
He took them to the guest bedroom, and he eased her down onto the bed and climbed in after her. Tonight, they were going to spend the night together in each other’s arms. For the first time. For the last time.
“I love you,” he whispered into her hair, and fell asleep before she responded.