Ned blew on his fingertips to warm them before beginning to dig out the rotten gatepost. As he worked his mind returned, as it always did, to Cat. He wondered what she was doing right now in London. Was she happy at Louis’ sister’s? Surely, he thought, she must miss them and would come home soon.
The postman called to him from the main road and said he had a letter from England, so Ned leaned the spade against the gate, wiped his hands on his trousers and hurried up the boreen to collect it. He was hardly able to contain his excitement as he saw Cat’s familiar handwriting and rushed back to the cottage to share the news with Maeve.
‘Maeve, we’ve a letter at last!’
‘Well read it man, g’w’on, read it!’ she said, wiping her hands on a towel.
Ned screwed up his eyes and began to read.
‘Seventeen Roydene Road, Plumstead, England. That’s the address, then she goes on to say,
“Dear Mummy and Dada
I have not been able to write before as it took a while to settle into my new accommodation and get into the swing of things.
I am, as you know, staying at Louis’ sister’s house, though it is not at the address given previously because she had moved by the time I arrived. The address at the top of this letter is where you should write to me.
The weather has been fine for this time of year, though I see little of the sun because I have two jobs.
My main job is at Woolwich Arsenal, where I am in the armaments shop packing bullets. This is fairly boring work, but it allows me time to sit and think of ye all at home. I was quite slow at first, but I am becoming quicker now. The more I pack, the more I earn.
The girls I work with are a friendly bunch, though it took me some time to understand what they were saying, and they me. I work from eight in the morning to six at night with a half hour for lunch. We have a uniform for work, so it does not matter too much what I wear, though my normal clothes seem very old fashioned over here. I shall have to spend a little on some new skirts and blouses, as I do not want to look as though I have just come from a field digging up potatoes.
My other job is taking care of the house and children for Louis’ sister, Lize who is a nurse in a hospital. She has been so kind to me. We have an arrangement that if I run the house and take care of the children, it allows her to work the nightshift at the hospital. In return I only have to pay her a very low rent.
It seems a good arrangement because it means I get to keep most of my earnings, so I shall be able to send you some money soon, Please God.
I have not seen Louis yet as he is still away, but I hope he will return soon.
Look after yourselves and love to all of you. Tell Ellie, if she’s thinking of following me to England, there’s plenty of work here for her. Just let me know.
I’ll write again soon, but until then, God bless ye both.
Your loving daughter, Cat.”’
Ned frowned and put the letter back in the envelope. ‘Well it looks as though she’s fallen on her feet,’ he said, scratching the back of his head. He was quiet for a while then said, ‘I’d better get back to work.’
He dared not look at Maeve for fear she would see the tears in his eyes and discover his vulnerability. He rose and walked slowly out of the cottage and across the yard to the gatepost he was replacing.
Suddenly he did not feel like bothering to mend it, and with a sigh, he dug into the black soil reluctantly and thought about Cat sitting in a dingy factory packing bullets. Jesus, is that what she’s been brought to, working in an old factory packing bullets? And what about when the war ends, what then? He thought she should be out in the fresh air with him now, digging up the spuds and laughing with him about some fresh joke.
Ned looked towards the Clashawly River and remembered the time before she left when they collected sallies in the sun last summer. It seemed so long ago.
Why was it he wondered, one child could twist up your heart so badly? The letter had upset him because he had hoped she would say she was homesick and was coming home.
Leaning on his spade staring into the distance, his thoughts were confused. What was the world coming to? Everything had gone topsy turvey. They’d had foreign soldiers sauntering about their streets, then his own countrymen had become savage murderers, his daughter frightened off overseas to live amongst a bunch of heathens and pack bullets for a living! It was not what he had planned.
Even Tom, he thought, was looking less enthusiastic these days, loafing about aimlessly after work. Ned decided the spark had gone out of their lives and that none of them had appreciated, until Cat had gone, that she was the axel in their machinery.
He had lost her for good and it hurt. It seemed she would probably never come home to live again unless something drastic happened or, he thought, if he demanded her return! But no. He could not do that, he needed another plan.
Tom appeared cycling along the main road, and then turned off to free wheel down the boreen towards Monroe. Ned waved and beckoned to him so Tom braked and dismounted, walking his bicycle to where Ned stood.
‘What’s up Dada? Are ye all right? Ye look a bit off colour.’
Ned drew himself up straight and dug in his pocket for cigarettes. Pulling out a packet he offered one to Tom and they lit up. ‘Tom, I want ye to go to England and bring her home.’
Tom looked at him, surprised by the request.
‘Dada, what’s got into ye?’
‘I just don’t like the way she’s livin’ out there with those heathens.’
‘Aw, c’mon now. How do ye know what she’s livin’ like, we haven’t heard from her yet?’
‘We had a letter today and I’m not satisfied she’s happy. She says she has two jobs, but neither are what I would have mapped out for her. She’s a country girl and she should be here with us courtin’ a nice Irish boy, not packin’ bullets from sun up to sun down in some old factory.’
‘ Ah! So that’s what she’s doin’?’
‘’Tis. As well as lookin’ after a house and the children for Louis’ sister. But that’s not the problem. ’Tis just that, well, if she’s lookin’ after other peoples’ children, she could be here lookin’ after some of her own.’
‘Ye cannot run her life for her, Dada. She’s gone now and whether she packs bullets or washes floors for a livin’ we have to accept it. She could not stay here. Not after what happened, ye know that.’
Ned didn’t want to listen to Tom’s reasoning and instead continued pouring out his thoughts to him.
‘We let her down. We could not defend her and I want to have a second chance at doin’ just that. So, Tom, I want ye to go over and fetch her back.’
Tom inhaled the cigarette smoke and looked at Ned. ‘I’ll think about it Dada, but I’m not sure ’tis the best idea ye’ve had.’
Ned stared into the distance at Slievenamon Mountain. ‘She loves this place.’ His lip quivered. ‘Yer mother cannot go on without her, ’tis killin’ her.’
‘Mummy has not said anythin’ to me.’
‘No, and she won’t. She’s too proud. But I can tell. And don’t ye go mentionin’ it to her. I know her better than anyone and I can tell ye, ’tis so!’
Tom looked away, embarrassed by the emotion in Ned’s voice. He started to wheel his bicycle away then stopped and turned back. ‘Ye know Dada, I get the feelin’ that Cat’s the only one ye worry about in this family.’
Ned looked at him, surprised by the remark, then took out his handkerchief and blew his nose.
‘What gives ye that idea?’
‘Ye constantly bleat on about missin’ all that Cat did for ye, when I do my very best after work to do all that she did, but ye never seem to notice all that I do.’
‘’Tis not so. And ye know it, Tom.’
‘I do not know it, and that’s the point. I just cannot seem to make up for her goin’ can I?’
‘Ye do fine son, ye do. I s’pose I just feel we let her down by not tryin’ harder to catch those swines. ’Tis me that cannot make it up, not ye.’
Ned turned away and busied himself digging out the gatepost as bitter tears slid down his face in the cold December wind.