Louis closed the door behind him. ‘Well you certainly can dance, Mrs. Ross,’ he laughed loosening his tunic belt. ‘Have you any more talents I don’t know about?’
‘Ah! We all dance – ’tis nothin’ special.’
‘I think it is,’ he said watching her unpack her travelling bag.
She took her nightdress out and laid it on the bed, then looked up at him as he unbuttoned his tunic.
‘Ye look hot, Pet. Why didn’t ye take off the jacket tonight?’
‘Habit really, I didn’t think about it. Being in the army makes you adjust to being uncomfortable and you simply put up with it.’
‘Well I’m glad I’m not in the army. I hate wearin’ tight clothes, especially in this heat.’
Louis watched her fanning her face with her hand, wondering who should go to the bathroom first. He stood awkwardly, tunic undone, feeling he should make the first move but unsure what that move should be. Should he get undressed in the same room?
‘Well, I’ll just go along to the bathroom,’ Cat finally said and gathered up her nightdress and hairbrush.
‘Yes, of course. I’ll go along when you come back.’ He faltered over what to say now that they were finally alone.
Cat opened the door and went down the hallway to the bathroom, leaving him alone to think about what his next move should be.
Once alone Louis went to the window, slid up the sash and leaned out. The air was sultry and he thought there might be a storm later. He lit a cigarette and blew the smoke out into the night air, wishing that they did not have to return to England in a few hours.
He didn’t hear Cat quietly return to the room and only became aware of her presence when he heard her slip between the bedclothes. Surprised, he turned. ‘Oh I didn’t hear you come back.’
‘No, ye were miles away. I’ve finished in the bathroom. Are ye goin’ along there now?’
‘Yes. I’ll only be a little while.’ He stubbed his cigarette out and turned to close the window.
‘Ah leave it open, will ye? ’tis too hot. I’ll suffocate if ye close it.’
‘If you’re sure, only I think there might be a storm later.’
‘If it rains we can close it, but there isn’t a leaf stirrin’ at the moment.’
He nodded agreement and went to the bathroom where he sat on a chair wondering what to do. Should he take off all his clothes and walk back in naked? No, he decided that might frighten the life out of her. Should he go back in fully dressed and take them off in front of her. Well, that could be embarrassing. Perhaps if he half undressed and just waited to see what happened? He sat trying to come to a decision until finally, after washing his face and cleaning his teeth, he was so weary he decided to just go back and see what happened.
He opened the door and noticed Cat had blown the candles out, so he tiptoed into the darkened room and made his way to the bed. He stood watching Cat in the moonlight for a while before sitting down to pull his boots off.
He took off his shirt, lowered his braces and slid his trousers down; then folded up his uniform neatly and stood in his underwear silhouetted by the moonlight. Before climbing into bed, he knelt down to say his prayers, then crossed himself and pulled back the covers gingerly to slide between the sheets.
He laid rigidly on the edge of the bed his tension rising; then the familiar nausea and shaking began and he felt he would vomit. Louis rushed quickly to the bathroom where he sat on the chair waiting for the feeling to pass.
Eventually, after splashing cold water on his face he began to recover, so returned to the bedroom. As he opened the door he saw Cat had re-lit the candle and was sitting up in bed.
‘Oh! You startled me,’ he said moving across the room to sit on the bed.
‘Are ye sick Louis? Did ye drink too much?’ She looked worried and knelt up in the bed to touch his face.
He was shivering. ‘No. It’s nothing, just the effects of being gassed. It happened to all of us. I just wait for it to pass. I need to rest until it goes but I don’t want you to worry Cat, really!’ He lay down and though the evening was hot, he felt chilled and trembled.
‘Here, cuddle up, ye feel cold,’ she said holding out an arm for him to curl into. He blew out the candle and shifted across the bed to her then lay cradled by her arm. He embraced her and nestling against her smelled lavender water on her skin. He thought she smelled lovely. As he relaxed against her body, he felt the attack recede.
Gently he kissed her neck, then her cheek and lifted his head a little to kiss her lips. He didn’t want to rush things so softly ran his fingertip along her nose and down over her mouth, under her throat and circled the dip in her skin where her nightdress buttoned at the neck
Deftly he passed the buttons through the buttonholes and pulled back the opening until her breasts were revealed. She turned her head to him and smiled.
‘I love you Louis.’
‘I love you too, more than I can say.’
She kissed his forehead and he began caressing her breasts feeling her nipples harden. Then he began kissing her nipples. He sensed her excitement and was aroused.
He pulled her nightdress up and she fumbled feverishly to remove the garment, dragging it off over her head and throwing it to the floor as Louis struggled out of his underwear beneath the covers and dropped them over the side of the bed.
His hand slid between her legs, which she opened slowly, and ferocity overcame her so that she began pulling his hand into her, forcing it to go in deeper and deeper. Suddenly she cried out, and Louis stopped.
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you,’ he said, raising himself onto an elbow, ‘do you want me to stop?’
In reply she merely put her arms round his neck and pulled his face closer to kiss his lips, as he eased himself onto her body.
He pressed himself against her and felt her hips lifting, inviting him into her as their bodies began writhing in unison.
Just then lightning forked the skies preceding the storm and in the neon flash Louis looked down. He imagined he saw the young German soldier beneath his grip that he had wrestled once in a desperate fight. Louis had raised his arm and his knife had stabbed wildly, slashing into the soldier’s chest, which spurted warm purple-red blood. He had blood on his hands, blood on his face. He had penetrated the soldier’s body with his knife.
Louis rolled away from her.
‘I’m sorry. I just can’t do it tonight. It’s not you…’
A heavy silence fell between them. Humiliated, Cat reached down and picked her nightdress up and quickly slipped it over her head. She curled up in the bed with her back to him.
Aware of her silence, he listened to her breathing as thunder rumbled around the skies long after she had fallen asleep.