This book would not exist without people who believed in me long before I believed in myself and who continue to do so in days of uncertainty. First and foremost, I would like to thank Julia Kardon, my agent and friend, who read the essay that would become this book and who had the foresight to see and help craft its vision. Here’s to many more shenanigans ahead. Equally important are my amazing editors, Sofia Groopman and Mary Gaule, who turned my chaotic ramblings into something worthwhile and to whom I am deeply grateful. Sofia, your kindness and generosity is unmatched—thank you. I feel incredibly fortunate to work with such a dedicated and talented team at Harper and further extend my thanks to the production and marketing teams, especially Emily VanDerwerken. To my family at Blue Flower Arts who have given me the support I need to focus on my work: Thank you, Alison, Barbara, and Anya.
I owe so much to Julia Kolchinsky Dasbach, who asked me to write when I felt I would never write again, and made me turn to prose for answers. Thanks to the editors of the following journals, magazines, and venues for publishing the first pieces from which many of the ideas in this book originated: Buzzfeed, Construction Literary Magazine, Best American Poetry Blog, Washington Square Review, and PBS NewsHour.
I am indebted to the love of friends who helped in more ways than I can name, who either fed me, housed me, or lent me an ear when I needed it most. Eternal love to Derrick Austin for being there through difficult times, Suzi F. Garcia, Britt Bennet, Rob Bruno, Lauren Clark, Vanessa Angélica Villarreal, Carolina Ebeid, Carina Del Valle Schorske, and Gabrielle Calvocoressi among too many others to name here but who know who they are. Thanks also to my therapist, Kelly Schroeder, who kept me from falling to pieces throughout this process.
To my Canto Mundo, Kundiman, and Cave Canem families who came through for me in dire times and never wavered. My family owes everything to you. Gracias especially to Ross Gay, Kazim Ali, Sarah Gambito, Nicole Sealey, Carmen Jimenez Smith, Deborah Paredes, and Celeste Guzman. To my Ashland family for uniting around a love for our craft, dedication to our students, and allowing me to continue my passion for teaching.
I feel incredibly lucky to fall under the brilliant and caring guidance of Josh McKinney and Eduardo C. Corral, who for over a decade have advised me on matters personal and professional. Endless love and gratitude for you both.
I don’t know what I did to deserve the gift of Sandra Cisnero’s generosity. Thank you for all you have done for me and for looking through this book with a fine-toothed comb. I promise to pay the kindness you have shown me forward to younger Latinx writers.
To my father, mother, sister, and brothers: My love for you is endless. We are here, finally together. Los quiero mucho. To Rafael Zarate and Basilia Ayala, who have taken me in like their own son.
And last, to my wife, Rubi, and my son, Julian, who have my entire heart. May we always run out of breath dancing.