Chapter
27

“I have splendid news.” Iris bustled into the dining room, a letter in her hand. “Your mother has accepted my latest invitation and is coming for a visit after all. She will arrive within the week.”

Seated at the long table, Hannah tried not to choke on her morning tea. In no way had she imagined her mother would ever accept any of Aunt Iris’s repeated invitations. In all the years Hannah had been at Stainsby Hall, her mother had never once come to see her, claiming her husband couldn’t do without her.

Iris stopped to watch her, a slight frown marring her features. “You don’t seem pleased. I thought you’d welcome a chance to spend time with your mother away from Mr. Fielding’s influence.”

“Of—of course. It’s most thoughtful. Thank you, Auntie.” Hannah patted a napkin to her mouth, then laid it on the lap of her soft gray dress. Iris had commissioned her dressmaker to sew a whole new wardrobe for Hannah, one that could be altered once the baby arrived. “How did Mum manage to get away?”

“I’m not sure. But I’m delighted she can come.” Iris stood at the sideboard and poured another cup of tea. The sun streamed in through the window, creating a halo effect around the soft sweep of her hair. “While she’s here, I plan to invite a few more people and make an event of it.”

“But Auntie, in my condition—”

“Nonsense. It will be extended family only.” Her gray eyes brightened. “A family reunion of sorts. How splendid.”

Her aunt seemed so excited that Hannah didn’t have the heart to discourage her. With gentle fingers, she caressed her swollen abdomen. What would her mother think about becoming a grandmother?

A sudden suspicion struck Hannah. “You’re not thinking of writing to Nolan, are you?”

“Why, yes.” Iris blinked at her. “I plan to send an invitation to Stainsby. I’d like to invite Nolan—and his father.”

The mere mention of the earl made Hannah’s stomach clench. “I’d prefer that you not. I want Nolan to come here of his own accord because he wants me back. Not because of some invitation.” She fought the sudden tremble of her lips.

“It appears to me that you and Nolan have reached an impasse, with neither willing to take action. Both waiting for the other to make some sort of declaration. If this brings your husband here so that you might discuss your situation and come to some sort of resolution, then I will not apologize for going against your wishes.”

Tension seized Hannah’s shoulders. Though she still was not ready to face Nolan, nor the possible demise of her marriage, her aunt would not be swayed. She sighed. Perhaps it was for the best. After all, time was running out before the baby would arrive.

She needed to find out once and for all the true state of her marriage, whether the earl had come to accept her as Nolan’s wife, and most important, whether Nolan wished to continue their union.

The rest of the meal passed in silence, her aunt engrossed in the morning news, while Hannah’s thoughts remained on the disconcerting tidings of her mother and husband’s impeding visits.

Hannah wished for her sister’s company to distract her from unwanted worrying, but Molly was already at work in the study with the tutor Aunt Iris had hired to catch the girl up on her lessons.

When Iris folded the newspaper in half and laid it down, the signal that the meal had ended, Hannah rose from the table and firmly pushed away all unsettling thoughts. For her child’s sake, she needed to focus on nothing but happy things.

As had become their usual routine, she and Iris would take a brisk walk in the garden, after which they would sit in the parlor and work on the tiny baby clothes they’d been sewing. Molly would join them once she had finished with her schooling for the day.

A maid appeared with their wraps, while another led Daisy on her leash. The days had become much colder, a sure sign that winter was headed their way.

Iris held open the door that led onto the terrace, letting Daisy out first.

Hannah shivered with the bitter bite of air, pulling her cloak more firmly about her. The wind blew a flurry of dead leaves in a circular pattern over the walkway as they strolled. From the feel of the elements, Hannah wouldn’t be surprised if it snowed soon.

Iris was unusually silent during the first lap around the garden. She let Daisy off her leash, then turned a rather grim face to her. “Hannah, I have a question to ask, and I trust you won’t take it the wrong way.”

Hannah frowned and slowed her pace. “What is it, Auntie?”

“You have been here for some time now. Almost half a year, in fact.”

“Yes.” Hannah swallowed a ball of fear. Did her aunt feel she was taking advantage of her kind nature? Would she ask her to leave?

“What exactly do you expect Nolan to do in order to let him back into your life?”

Hannah almost tripped on a raised stone in the walkway. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Iris looped her arm through Hannah’s and led her back to their allotted pathway. “I think my question was clear enough. For all intents and purposes, you have left your husband, presumably for his own good, so he might forge a relationship with the earl.”

“That’s right.” Hannah tried not to bristle at her aunt’s implication that it was not for Nolan’s own good. “I know how important it is to Nolan to have a father. Besides, the tension between them wasn’t good for me or the baby.”

“All very admirable reasons for running away.” Iris shot her an arched look.

Heat rose in Hannah’s chest. “I did not run away. You make me sound like a coward.”

“Very well, then back to my original question. What must Nolan do to be allowed back into your life—and into your bed?”

Shock stole Hannah’s breath. “Aunt Iris! That is a very personal matter between a husband and wife.”

Iris pulled Hannah to a stop and took her gently by the shoulders. “My dear, what are you so afraid of?”

Hannah’s mouth fell open. Her whole body began to shake uncontrollably, her legs almost giving out beneath the extra weight of her belly. Iris steered her to a nearby bench and sat down beside her.

Hannah’s mind whirled with the sudden realization that not only was she afraid—she was terrified. And she wasn’t sure what scared her more: loving Nolan or losing him.

Iris took one of Hannah’s gloved hands in hers. “My dear girl, you are like the daughter I never had. I trust we’ve become close enough for me to speak plainly.”

Hannah nodded, clutching the bench beside her as though to anchor her there lest she give in to the urge to flee.

“It seems to me you are deathly afraid of giving yourself completely to your husband. Of letting Nolan love you. Why would that be?”

The gentleness in her voice brought the rise of tears to Hannah’s throat. She shook her head, unable to answer.

“Do you think yourself unworthy of Nolan because of his father’s station?” With the tip of one finger, she raised Hannah’s chin. “Or do you think yourself so unlovable that you doubt his feelings?”

Unlovable. The word echoed in her mind, spinning its ugly truth like an insidious web. The lump in her throat became a sob that burst forth in a gush of tears. She collapsed against Iris’s shoulder.

Her aunt hugged her tightly until the spasms subsided. Then she pulled out a handkerchief to dab at Hannah’s face. “There, there. I can speak with absolute certainty when I say that you are the least unlovable person I know. Not only are you a beauty on the outside, you are more than beautiful on the inside, and I, for one, adore you. Can you at least believe that?”

Hannah looked into Iris’s sincere eyes and nodded.

“Good. And I hope you also know that your heavenly Father loves you unconditionally and without limit. You are a treasured child of God, most worthy of all goodness that comes into your life. And definitely worthy of a fine man like Nolan.”

Hannah stared at her lap and shook her head.

“What is it that makes you feel so undeserving, dearest?”

Hannah slowly raised her head to meet her aunt’s gentle gaze. She attempted to speak, then stopped, her mouth dry.

“It’s all right to say what’s in your heart.” Her aunt gave her an encouraging squeeze.

Hannah nodded and forced herself to admit the truth. “Ever since Papa died and Mum left me with Mrs. Bridges, I felt there must be something lacking in me—a reason why everyone leaves me. I must not be good enough, flawed in some way. People start out loving me, but then it fades . . . and they forget about me.” She bit her lip, once again feeling like the scared thirteen-year-old girl watching the carriage take her mother away. “Mum chose to keep Molly and not me. I wasn’t good enough.”

“That can’t be true.” Iris clasped her hands over Hannah’s fisted ones. “Your mother must have believed she was giving you a better life than you would have had with Mr. Fielding and his brood.”

Hannah shook her head, sadness seeping through her soul. “After losing Papa and our little brother, all I wanted was to be with my mother and sister. Nothing else mattered. I thought I must have done something terribly wrong for her to punish me that way.”

“Oh, my darling girl.” Iris pulled her back into an embrace. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that. If only I hadn’t been so sick at the time, I would have gladly taken you all in. I’m sure my Edgar would have loved having the house full of family.” She sniffed, and Hannah was surprised to find her aunt’s eyes damp as well. “You mustn’t let your mother’s desperate actions determine your self-worth. I have to believe it was all part of God’s plan for your life. That there was a purpose for bringing you to Stainsby. One we have yet to learn.” She inhaled deeply. “Come now, let’s continue our walk.”

They rose to resume their place on the path. Daisy dashed ahead, eager for the rest of the outing. Iris remained silent as they walked, lost in silent contemplation. As they neared the end of the path, she looked over at Hannah. “I think this family reunion is long past due. I will continue to pray that God will heal old wounds and bring about a true reconciliation.”

Hannah wished she could share her aunt’s optimism but feared it would take a miracle for that to come to pass.

Nolan paced the dirt floor of the McTeagues’ cottage, his attention fastened on the closed bedroom door. Any time now, Doctor Hutton would emerge after tending to Bert’s hands. Nolan prayed that this time he’d have better news for them.

Franny sat at a scarred table by the hearth, paring potatoes for their next meal. Every so often, she stopped to stare into the fire, her knife paused in midair. Nolan knew she was trying hard to be stoic, hiding her worry as best she could from her husband.

Nolan had had plenty of time since Bert’s accident to recall his friend’s words of advice in the smithy. Think of the good you could do for the servants and the tenant farmers. What better advocate could we have than someone who’s lived in our shoes? As Edward’s son, Nolan would make sure Bert and Franny were taken care of, even if he had to bully his father into doing what was right. This incident brought into sharp focus the plight of many of the older staff whose health might prevent them from being able to do their jobs. What would happen to those loyal workers?

Steam spewed from the copper kettle on the range. Franny pushed her frame up from the table and moved to take it off the heat.

“Please have a seat, Master Nolan,” she said with a frown. “You’ll create a dust storm in here with your pacing.” She poured boiling water into the teapot.

“I can’t sit doing nothing. Why don’t you put me to use around here while we wait?”

She rolled her eyes. “As if I’d ever let his lordship’s son do labor in my home.”

“Forget about my title, Franny. I’m still the boy you used to chase out of your garden for stealing carrots.”

Despite her gruff countenance, her lips twitched. “And I’ll do it again if I catch you now.”

The bedroom door swung open, and Dr. Hutton emerged.

Nolan went to meet him. “Any improvement, Doctor?”

“Not much, I’m afraid.”

It had been three days since Bert had taken a dizzy spell and fallen into the fire. The doctor had been back every day to apply new dressings and change the bandages.

“Will he be able to use his hands again once they’ve healed?”

“It’s hard to tell.” Dr. Hutton shook his head as he fastened his bag. “All we can do is wait and see. I wish I could give you better news.” He retrieved his overcoat, and after imparting some further instructions for Franny, he left the cottage.

Franny sank back onto her chair, softly weeping. “What if he can no longer work, Master Nolan? What will we do then?”

She voiced the very thing that troubled Nolan. He couldn’t picture Bert anywhere else but in his smithy.

Nolan patted her broad back. “Try not to imagine the worst. We must be optimistic for Bert’s sake.”

“But the master won’t let us stay here for free. Where will we go?” She dabbed the corner of her apron to her eyes.

A ferocious determination welled in Nolan’s chest. No matter what his father said, Nolan would do whatever he could to ease the McTeagues’ fears and ensure they were taken care of.

A loud knock tore Nolan’s attention from the troubled woman. “You sit. I’ll see who it is.”

When he opened the door, he could only blink.

Edward stood on the other side, his top hat in hand.

“Hello, Nolan,” he said. “I’ve come to see how Mr. McTeague is faring.”

Nolan swallowed his surprise and stepped aside for Edward to enter the small abode.

Edward greeted Franny, who rose to curtsy.

“The doctor just left,” Nolan said. “Bert’s improving slowly, but it will be some time before we know the outcome.”

“I see.” Edward glanced at Franny and back to Nolan. “I’d like to see him, if I may.”

Nolan hesitated, trying to decipher his father’s motives. From his shuttered stare, Nolan could tell nothing. “Very well. But only if you promise not to cause him any distress.”

“That is not my intention, I assure you.”

Nolan pointed to the bedroom.

Edward knocked lightly before stepping inside the room. As Nolan followed him in, the smell of unwashed body hit him full force, and he winced at what his father must think. Nolan hovered by the doorway, unwilling to leave Edward alone with Bert, ready to step in if necessary.

“Hello, Mr. McTeague,” Edward said. “I’ve come to make sure you’re as comfortable as possible.”

An expression of disbelief flitted across Bert’s face. “Your lordship. This is an unexpected surprise.” He went to lift a bandaged hand and flinched. “I’m so sorry, sir. I don’t know how this happened. One minute I was tending the fire, the next I was in it.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for. Is the pain bearable at least?” Edward stood at the foot of the bed, hat clasped behind his back, looking as out of place as a vicar in a brothel.

It occurred to Nolan that this was likely the first time Edward had ever visited the McTeagues.

“Aye. Thank you for sending the doctor.”

“It was the least I could do.” Edward shifted, seeming uncomfortable with the praise. “I want you to know that I intend to hire a temporary replacement until you are well enough to return to your post. You’re not to rush your recovery.”

“Thank you, sir.” Bert’s beard trembled.

“And you’re not to worry about money. Everything will be looked after until you’re back on your feet.” Edward straightened. “If you need anything at all, please let me know.”

Bert’s mouth hung open. If the situation were not so serious, Nolan would have laughed out loud at his shocked expression.

Edward cleared his throat. “That is all. Get well, Mr. McTeague. We will miss your fine work.” He nodded in Bert’s direction and returned to the main living area. “Mrs. McTeague, be sure to let us know if you require anything as well.”

The plump woman bobbed to her feet and rushed forward to grasp Edward’s hand. “Oh, thank you, my lord. Thank you. You don’t know how relieved I am.”

Edward’s cheeks reddened as he discreetly pulled his hand away. “You’re welcome. Good day.” He put on his hat, nodded to Nolan, then strode out the door.

Still unable to trust his father’s sudden show of generosity, Nolan followed him outside. He caught up to him at his horse, placing a hand on the stallion’s bridle. “That was a very decent thing you did in there. What made you change your mind about helping Bert?”

Edward would not meet his eyes. He flung himself into the saddle, grabbed the reins, then finally glanced down at Nolan. “One might say I’ve been forced to look at things in a new light as of late.” His mouth twitched up into a semblance of a smile.

Then he tipped his hat, clucked his horse into motion, and rode off.