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THIRTEEN

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Lacey

Thirteen months earlier

“Come on,” Connor snaps at me. “Stop being such a whiny little bitch and try it. Wouldn’t hurt you to loosen up a bit, might make you a better fuck. Last night it felt like I was sticking my cock in a corpse.”

I gulp down half of my glass of wine and look at the loaded glass pipe Connor’s holding out to me. He’s been trying to talk me into smoking crystal meth with him for a while now.

“I can’t. My job randomly drug tests.”

Grabbing my hair, he pulls my head back and leers down at me. His eyes are glazed and red-ringed, showing that he’s already high. I thought he was when I got home from work half an hour earlier, but I’d been too afraid to ask. Connor’s been spending so much time at the Clubhouse lately that I was surprised to find him waiting for me with takeout and wine. He boasted that something he’d been working toward for a long time was finally cemented today so he wanted to celebrate with me.

Why would he want to celebrate with me? That was the first question that’d sprung to mind when he handed me a plate of Thai food and a glass of my favourite wine. Recently, Shadow and Sherri have been his constant companions, and I’ve just been the nagging girlfriend that he pushes around when he comes home hungover.

My subconscious strikes; reminding me that the bruises on my ribs and my sprained wrist aren’t from him pushing me around. The injuries are from him beating me up last weekend because his dinner was cold when he returned home after midnight, without even a text to say he was going to be late.

“Stick your fucking excuses up your ass, Lacey. We both know you’re off for a week.” He lets go of my hair and I blink back the tears that are forming beneath my eyelids—from the memories or his current anger, I can’t tell. What I do know is, if I cry, he’s going to get worse.

“All right.” I concede. “Just this once though.”

Connor pushes the pipe toward me again and this time I take it. Placing my wine glass on the coffee table, I put the pipe to my lips and hold out my hand for the lighter. He passes it to me, the glimmer of triumph shining from his handsome features grows bigger as I spark the lighter and touch the flame to the rock in the pipe.

I inhale, mimicking the movements I’ve watched Connor make many times before during this past year. Holding the sweet tasting smoke in my lungs, I wait for some kind of reaction. I’ve smoked pot many times before, although not that often since I finished most of my on-campus study and began rotations at the hospital. I’m expecting a similar feeling.

What hits me is nothing like weed. The high is like a rush of liquid courage. My heart starts pounding in my chest, my head spins, and once it stops the world appears crisper, more real, almost fuller in some weird way. It’s similar to when I put my reading glasses on and everything becomes clearer, although this feeling is less about vision and more about perception.

“It’s good, isn’t it?” Connor breaks through my rambling considerations. He laughs when I look at him. I can imagine the astonishment in my expression because I’ve been told many times that every emotion I have appears on my face.

“It’s certainly different.” I laugh. Why? I don’t know, but everything seems funny.

Connor perches on the arm of my chair and pulls me into him. He nuzzles the top of my head with his cheek and runs a finger down my cleavage. For the first time in months, I don’t feel repulsed by his touch.

“Wait there, baby.”

I watch with wide eyes as Connor moves to the couch and sends a message on his mobile. He looks at me with a sly gleam in his eyes that sets my teeth on edge. He’s up to something.

“Come here,” he crooks a finger in my direction as he speaks. Without thought, I rise to my feet and walk to him. When I move to sit next to him, he grabs hold of my hips and stops me.

“Undress for me.”

“Connor...”

“No, Lacey. Don’t start. Just do what you’re told tonight. Can’t we have a good night together, for once?”

Despite the good feelings my drug-induced high has coursing through my system, Connor’s tone manages to make me feel afraid. I begin to peel my top off, dropping it onto the floor at his feet before I unclasp my bra and pull it from my chest.

“That’s it, babe. See? You can be so sexy when you try.”

Clenching my teeth together, I make his words wash over me. This is the nicest he’s been for a while, so I don’t want to ruin it by getting upset at his back-handed compliment. I concentrate on moving slower and sexier by taking my time to lower my skirt to the floor. Once I’ve stepped out of it, I wriggle my panties down my hips and step out of them as well.

“Down.”

I drop to my knees in front of him. He unzips his jeans and pulls his cock out.

“I wanna blow job.”

My stomach lurches and I begin to feel queasy. I hate giving blow jobs. I’m not good at them; my gag reflex is too sensitive, and Connor always thrusts too far into my mouth and makes me feel like vomiting. I’m scared I’m going to throw up on him one day.

He notices my hesitation, but I beat him to the punch. Before he can say anything mean or force my head down, I take his hard cock between my lips and begin to slide back and forth down his shaft. Using my tongue to lick the underside in the way he likes, I have him moaning in minutes. When his hand comes down on the back of my head, I brace my palms against his thighs and try to relax my throat as much as I can.

Letting him pillage my throat, I do my best to contain my need to gag each time he thrusts too far. Because I was expecting him to blow in my mouth, I’m shocked when he pulls away from me. Grabbing me by the arm, he swings me onto my knees on the couch and bends me, so my chest is resting over the backrest.

“I don’t know why you bothered getting this?” Connor flicks my clit piercing, disdain dripping from each word. “It’s not like it’s made it easier for me to get you off.” 

My bottom lip quivers. It’s not my fault that I don’t orgasm with him anymore. I used to until he started belittling me. Now my body refuses to cooperate, no matter how hard I try to enjoy his touch. I press my lips together and beg the tears that are threatening to go away.

Connor pushes one finger into me, and lackadaisically pumps it within me for a moment before removing it. “Dry as fuck. Frigid bitch.”

That’s it. I can’t take this anymore. Whatever artificial contentment the crystal meth imbued in me has fled at his latest nasty comment. Lifting myself from the back of the couch, I move away from my asshole boyfriend. I don’t get far. He grabs me by the nape of my neck and bends me back over the couch again. Then, he shoves his cock into me and thrusts away.

With one hand around the back of my neck and the other holding my right hip, he holds me in place. I lie there and let him take his fill, grinding my teeth when he starts to drive into me with more force. In my head, I refuse to acknowledge that I shouldn’t be laying here in pain gritting my teeth. If I had any pride left, I’d be pushing him off me and demanding that he gets the hell out of this house. Instead of taking action, I swallow my growing feelings of shame and concentrate on praying that he’ll finish quickly.

I’m jolted from my thoughts when our front door opens. I try to lift my head to see who the intruders are but Connor refuses to let me. He continues pumping his cock into me as if we are still alone. When the newcomers greet Connor, I recognise their voices straightaway.

What the hell are Shadow and Sherri doing in my house?

“Shadow.” Connor greets him.

I can hear Sherri giggling and it makes my mouth run dry.

Please God. Don’t let this head where I think it’s about to.

“Looking good there, Lacey,” Shadow drawls.

He moves around to the other side of the couch so we’re facing each other. Winking at me, he thrusts his crotch in my face. I push against Connor’s restricting arms when Shadow’s intent becomes clear, but I don’t get anywhere. He simply holds me tighter.

“No! Connor, let me up,” I beg in a shrill voice. Panic grips me and I try to get away from both men.

Connor leans down and whispers in my ear, “Don’t fucking embarrass me. Shadow’s let me have Sherri plenty of times. Tonight, it’s my turn to pay up.”

Shaking my head as hard as I can, bile rises in my throat when I think about Connor and Sherri in bed together. I’ve had my suspicions, yet I thought that Connor’s possessiveness might mean he’d stay faithful to me like I have to him.

“No!”

“Say no again and see what happens when they leave,” he threatens me at a level only I can hear. “You’re my Old Lady so you do as I fucking say.”

My pulse pounds in my ears, racing so fast that it roars like the ocean during a hurricane. The sound drowns out whatever it is that Connor and Shadow say to each other over my head. I struggle for control of my body again without success, falling still when Connor jams his fist against my already sore ribs. Message received—loud and clear.

Shadow unzips his leather pants and pulls his cock free. I clamp my lips shut when he presses it against them. Connor grabs a handful of hair and pulls my head back at an awkward angle.

“Open wide, Lacey,” he cajoles. Sherri breaks into cackles at his request and I feel the couch dip slightly under her weight as she sits next to me. She runs her finger down my stomach, coming to a stop on my clit piercing.

“So pretty,” she whispers, before she flicks my sensitive nub. It sends a bolt of pleasure to my lower stomach that I try my hardest to ignore. She repeats the manoeuvre, and this time I can’t stop the gasp that leaves me.

Shadow seizes my distraction and pushes his cock into my mouth. He’s surprisingly gentle, taking his time, and using a finesse that I no longer expect from Connor.

My body breaks into a riot of sensation when Connor begins to move within me again, while Sherri plays with my clit, and Shadow fucks my mouth. It feels wrong but oh, so good at the same time. Having only been with two men before Connor, I’m not very experienced, and I’ve never pictured myself having a foursome. I’d like to put the blame for this situation solely on Connor, but if I’m honest, I don’t know how much of my willing participation is being fed by the drugs still floating through my veins, and how much can be chalked up to self-preservation against Connor’s threats.

I’m not given any more time to reflect on it because Connor withdraws his cock from me and pushes Sherri against the back of the lounge next to me. When Shadow pulls his dick from my mouth as well, I turn my head and watch in a state of shocked disgust tinged with fascination as my Old Man—the man I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with—yanks up her skirt until she’s wearing it like a belt around her waist. She isn’t wearing any panties. I get a glimpse of how wet and ready she is for him, just before I watch my lovers cock slide into her eager body.

Uncontrollable shaking overcomes me and my heart breaks. Sherri starts moaning as Shadow makes his way to my side of the couch, furthering my humiliation. He flips me onto my ass and pulls me toward him, spreading my legs and stepping between them. Lowering his pants, he slides on a condom and presses his hard length against my exposed pussy. I brace for his violation, but he doesn’t enter me.

The noises coming from Sherri as Connor pounds into her numbs my hurt. Anger takes its place and I feel myself filling with rage. A rage that makes me want to scratch Sherri’s eyes out and rip Connor’s traitorous cock from his body.

“Don’t worry about them.” Shadow stares down at me, an indecipherable look in his eyes. “I’ve been looking forward to tonight for a long time. Let yourself enjoy what I can give you.”

My wits return and the position that I find myself in finally registers. I’m lying naked on the couch in the living room of my home—my sanctuary, the place I thought I’d raise my children—listening to the man I believed would father those children fuck a woman I can’t stand next to me. My legs are spread, and between them stands a man, who I do not respect. He might be attractive, but I’ve never felt an iota of attraction toward him. Yet, here I am, seriously considering letting him into my body in the hopes that Connor might feel a tiny portion of the despair that’s currently consuming me.

“Lacey.” Shadow barks my name. “Look at me.”

I meet his eyes, shocked to see some semblance of sympathy in their depths.

“You need to get with the program. Connor promised me your pussy as payment but I’m not just gonna take. I’ll make this good for you, too.

I’m past caring if I enjoy this or not. My dignity was shattered a long time ago, my capacity for pleasure stripped from me. What’s another humiliation at this point?

I shrug in response to his promise, letting my legs fall open a little further to indicate that I’m ready.

Shadow runs his fingers up the insides of my thighs, causing my skin to break out in goosebumps. I shiver, then jump in shock when he presses his fingers against my clit and rubs it in a circular motion. My clit begins to pulse and warmth spreads through my lower limbs. He keeps doing this until I’m on the verge of climaxing, panting hard and almost making as much noise as the couple still going at it next to us.

Drawing in a ragged breath, I lift my head and use one of my hands to reach down and grab his straining cock. Working him up and down, I coax him the rest of the way between my legs and into my need-filled body.

“Fucking hell,” Shadow groans as he slides all the way into me. He’s thicker than Connor so I feel my channel stretch more than usual to accommodate his increased girth. Alarm bells ring in the back of my mind that I’ve just damaged my soul by going through with this exchange of partners, yet I can’t bring myself to stop. It’s been months since I’ve been this close to an orgasm that I haven’t been responsible for myself.

When Shadow begins to move within me, I meet each thrust with a lift of my hips that makes him hit the sweet spot inside of me. Within minutes, he has me at the point of no return. I’m screaming loudly as I give myself over to the enjoyment of his techniques. They’re different to what I’ve become accustomed and it’s scintillating. I don’t know what to expect next, every movement he makes unpredictable since we’re not acquainted with each other’s body.

I vaguely remember hearing Connor holler his release moments earlier and out of the corner of my eye, I can see him standing next to us, watching. I think Sherri’s moved off the couch to find something to clean up with.

“Jesus fucking Christ you can fuck, Lacey.” Shadow grunts his appreciation. “Fucking blowing my mind with your tight pussy.”

He jams his thumb down on my clit, rubbing vigourously, and it’s all I need to send me over the peak of pleasure he’s been building in me since we began and into a much-needed orgasm. Ear-shattering shrieks rip from my throat as my clenching canal clamps down on Shadow’s cock. He leans down and meets my lips with his, kissing me like a man possessed. I fall still in momentary shock until his tongue prods against the seam of my mouth. I part my lips and let him kiss me properly. I’m too far gone to heed Connor’s mutterings of displeasure at my acquiescence, my climax holding me captive as I feel Shadow reach his own release seconds later.

He flops over me, chest heaving. Once he has his breath back, he leaves a quick kiss on the side of my neck before pushing to his feet. Once I’m out from underneath him, Connor seizes hold of me by the top of my arm and drags me to my feet. He glares at me with a look of pure rage, making me shrink away from him.

Sherri races to Shadow’s side, having already set her clothing straight, and she pulls the full condom off his softening cock. She knots the end and drops it, with a spiteful glance at me, onto my coffee table. Then she tucks his cock back into his leathers and zips him up. Shooting me a look of pure hatred, she grabs his hand and drags him toward the front door.

Shadow pulls his hand free and turns to face me and Connor.

“That was well worth the wait.” Connor stiffens next to me at his words and I start to feel like the world’s biggest slut. “Consider your debt paid and all favours squared away. You want anything, it’s gonna cost you the same again.”

Shadow tips his head toward me and salutes.

“Don’t let him make you feel fucking bad about tonight, Lacey. This’s on his head, not yours. You did what a good Old Lady is supposed to do.”

Connor’s grip on my upper arm tightens, making me gasp. He seems to be furious and I don’t understand why. I just did what he wanted; what he threatened me with bodily harm to get me to do. He should be happy with me for once. After eyeballing each other for a long moment, Shadow and Connor nod at each other as if reaching a silent agreement.

Sherri and Shadow leave without another word. Connor moves toward the front door and engages the lock behind them. My face becomes hot when I look at the couch and my clothes lying on the floor in front of it. Bending down, I start to gather them, needing a shield from the world until I can get away from Connor long enough to run a scalding hot bath. I need to soak away the filth that I can feel making its way under my skin.

“You dirty fucking slut.” Connor yells at me as he comes up behind me.

I drop my clothes to the floor in a hurry and attempt to run from him. He grabs me by the arm and slings me to the ground where he kicks me in the ribs. I curl into a ball, using my arms to protect my face and my head.

Blow after blow rains down on me. Connor’s still wearing his bike boots and while the adrenaline coursing through my body is doing a good job of shielding me from the full impact of the pain he’s inflicting on me, it can’t stop the horrible sound my ribs make when they break. My screams are frantic and begging, but he doesn’t stop.

“I never said you could enjoy it.” Connor berates me, his kicks losing steam as he runs out of breath. “You cheating fucking whore. How dare you fucking come for him.”

I’ve managed to keep my head shielded from the worst of his attack, but I make a critical mistake by thinking that he’s given up kicking me when he pauses for a few seconds. I move my arms to sneak a peek at his location; at the same time that he pulls his leg back and aims a particularly vicious strike at my upper body. He misses my shoulder and hits me in the temple.

The blow makes me lose my vision instantly and I scream as if my life depends upon it. The follow-up kick comes before I have time to regain my sight or roll back into a ball. It hits me in the same spot and this time the impact doesn’t just rob me of my ability to see, it steals my consciousness as well.