Chapter 6

MARY ELIZABETH’S STORY

“I will never just be your friend,” Cody had said before leaving me staring after him as he retired to his room. 

Could he really feel the way I did?  Could everything I ever wanted finally be coming true?  I had a feeling, especially now that Cody knew my history that he was going to handle me with caution and care.  I could go along with that, for now, but I had a feeling I was going to have to be the one to show him when I was ready for more. 

As I began to think about our trip to Red River and about Cody’s birthday, I definitely had a few ideas for a celebration and gifts for him.  He and I both had a lot to get through between now and then for it all to work, but I had a feeling we were heading in that direction…and were both happy about it. 

I knew Cody said I needed to rest…and I knew he was right, but I had so much to do before we left Saturday morning.  I went to my closet and pulled out a gift I had begun working on for him before I ever let myself believe my dreams of meeting him would come true.  I worked well into the night until it was complete.  I hoped as I drifted off to sleep that Cody would not notice the tiredness behind my eyes in the morning. 

Again I awoke to the same dream in the early hours of the morning.  In my dream Cody was again lying beside me, here in my bed, and I was curled against his chest.  I felt myself tracing lazy circles on his bare chest before pushing myself up to plant kisses where my fingertips had been. 

I awoke breathless and gasping.  Throwing the covers off, I pushed myself up off the bed.  I couldn’t help but wonder if Cody had the same dream.  I walked towards the door and put my hand on the knob, turning it and pulling the door open hesitantly.  Cody was standing on the other side of the door with his hand up, ready to knock.

“Mary Beth,” he breathed, reaching out for me, pulling me close to him and wrapping his arms tight around me. 

“Cody?” I whispered, loosening my grip on him enough to look up into his eyes. “Did you have the dream?” I asked, reaching my hand out to touch his bare chest, unable to stop myself from mimicking the movements I had seen in my dream.

“Can we sit down and talk?” Cody asked, his voice full of emotion as he moved us into my room and closed the door behind us. 

I took Cody’s hand and led him over to my bed, sitting down on the edge and pulling him down next to me.  Cody’s other hand reached out and cupped my cheek, his thumb rubbing over my cheekbone.

“Tell me, Mary Beth,” he commanded.  “Tell me what you dreamed.  Was I here?” he asked.

“Yes,” I whispered.

Cody moved away from me and lay down on the bed, stretching out and settling in, crossing one leg over the other. 

“Was I here?  Like this?” he asked.

“Almost,” I whispered.

“Show me Mary Beth,” he begged. 

I took a deep breath and crawled up next to him.  I reached out for his left arm, pulling it out where I could settle in next to him.  I lay my head on his chest and felt his arm close around me, as I placed my hand back on his bare chest.

“Like this,” I whispered.

“Just like this,” he whispered.  “Like home.”

“What?” I asked, unsure if I heard him correctly.

“It feels like home, here with you Mary Beth,” he said hopefully.

“Then stay,” I said, returning his hope.

“What?” he asked, uncertainty in his voice.

“Stay here with me.  You belong here with me,” I said quietly.

“Are you sure?  I don’t want to rush you or push you.  It’s not the time for everything, so please know I’m not going to push things too far, ok?” he said softly.

“I know Cody.  I know you care about me and that you won’t do anything to hurt me or whatever it is between us.  I also know that I want you here next to me.  It’s obviously where you are meant to be, where you belong,” I said, pushing myself up to look at him in hopes he would believe me.

I felt his right hand slide around to cup the back of my head and pull me closer to him.  I couldn’t stop the moan that escaped when his lips met mine.  At the parting of my lips I felt his tongue slide softly over them, begging for permission to enter.  I relaxed my mouth moving my lips further apart, as I tentatively moved my tongue forward to meet his for an instant, willing him to understand that I trusted him, that I wanted this, that I needed this. I almost came undone when I heard him groan.  I felt the love swell in my chest, knowing I could affect him this way. 

Truthfully, I had never felt this way before in my life.  I’d never felt so desired, so cared for, so safe, so cherished, so protected, so loved.  I couldn’t help but whimper when Cody pulled his lips from mine.  I couldn’t stop the look that crossed my face at the momentary thought that I had done something wrong.

“Shhh, love.  Everything’s ok.  Honestly, everything’s more than ok.  That was the most amazing kiss I’ve ever had, but we’ve got to stop.  If we don’t stop now, things will go further than we’re ready for, ok?” he said as he started to get up.

“No!” I exclaimed, closing my hands around his chiseled bicep.  “Stay!” I begged. 

CODY’S STORY

“Stay!” she begged. 

How could I refuse her?  I needed to be with her like I needed air to breathe.  I lay back down and felt Mary Beth settle back into my side.  I pulled the covers up over us and leaned down to press a soft kiss to her lips. 

“Love, is this going to be ok?  Me staying here?  I don’t want to do something I shouldn’t, especially where Tommy is concerned,” I said worriedly. 

“I think Tommy thinks you belong here.  I don’t think he will be upset by it at all, but I also don’t think he’ll be disturbing us, ok?” she said sleepily as she snuggled deeper into my chest.

“Ok.  Sleep, Mary Beth.  I’m not going anywhere,” I reassured her as I began to draw lazy circles on her back.

I felt her left hand slide up my chest to rest over my heart.  I lay awake thinking about the events of the last week, relaxing more when I heard Mary Beth’s breathing even out in sleep.  I looked down at her, so peaceful, her head on my chest and her soft auburn hair splayed over my shoulder and arm.  I let myself fall into dreams of the future as I felt sleep overtake me.

I woke up to sunlight streaming through the windows and an empty space where Mary Beth had been.  I glanced at the clock and knew that Tommy must have just left for school.  I crawled out of bed and started downstairs.  I met Mary Beth on the landing halfway down as she was coming up to bring me a cup of coffee.

“Thank you, love!” I exclaimed, leaning in to kiss her, relishing the feel of her hand on my bare chest as she braced herself against me.

“You’re welcome,” she said, smiling a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Everything ok, love?” I asked with concern.

“It will be,” she said unconvincingly.

“What can I do?” I said worriedly, my brow furrowed tightly. 

Maybe last night had been too much too soon.  Dang it, Cody.  Why did you let it get so far?  Why did you stay?  I saw Mary Beth reach a hand up to me and felt it rest against my cheek.

“It’s not you, baby.  It’s not us.  Please don’t worry.  Last night was the best night of my life and I know it’s only going to get better and better.  Don’t second guess yourself, ok?  Don’t ever second guess yourself with me,” she ordered.

I simply nodded and let it go…for now.  Something was making my Mary Beth sad and I needed to make it better.  That much I knew.  She turned to go back down the stairs and I merely followed her, feeling myself frown in concern.

She motioned for me to sit at the bar while she prepared our breakfast.  The phone rang jarring me from my anxiety.  Mary Beth had her hands in whatever she was cooking and gestured towards the phone.

“Cody, baby, would you mind answering the phone for me?” she said with a small smile.

“Not at all!” I grinned, standing to reach for the phone.  “Hello?” I said as I lifted the receiver.

“Cody?  Good!  I’m so glad you’re the one who answered.  It’s Aunt Dot.  Can you come back to our house for a moment?  I need to talk to you about something.  Just tell Mary that I need you to come pick something up for her, ok?” she requested.

“Yes, ma’am.  I’ll be right there,” I replied before hanging up the phone. 

“Who was it?” Mary Beth asked.

“Aunt Dot.   She wanted me to walk over and pick something up for you.  I’ll be right back ok?” I said, standing to go.

“Do you want me to go with you?” she asked. 

“No.  Just work on breakfast.  I won’t be long.” I smiled, unsure why I was even going.

“Well, you might want a shirt,” she giggled as I started to walk out the door as I was.

I grinned back at her before bounding upstairs to change into gym shorts, a t-shirt and tennis shoes.  I bounded back downstairs and yelled “be back in a bit” before heading out the back door to Aunt Dot’s and Uncle Walt’s.

I jogged across the yard and past the corral before bounding up the steps to Dot and Walt’s front porch.  I knocked lightly on the front door and waited for Dot to answer.  She opened the door with a big smile for me and beckoned me to follow her to the kitchen.  She offered me a seat at the breakfast table.  As soon as I was seated she placed a cup of coffee in front of me.  I took a sip as I looked up at her curiously, wondering why I was here.

“I know you’re probably wondering why I called you this morning.” She smiled softly.

“Yes, ma’am.  I’m definitely curious what I can help with,” I responded in all honesty.

“Did you notice anything different about Mary this morning?” she asked.

“She seemed sad.” I frowned, thinking back to the look on Mary Beth’s face as I met her on the stairs.

“Did she say why?” Dot asked.

“No, ma’am.  She just said it wasn’t anything I had done,” I said, shaking my head.

“I didn’t think that she would tell you.  She tries to be so strong, handling everything on her own. She hates to be a burden to anyone.  I think you need to know what today is, I think she needs for you to know,” Dot explained.

I took a deep breath and waited, steeling myself for whatever was coming next.

“Today is the anniversary of Mary’s father’s death.  It’s still a very hard day for her.  I would expect, even with the happiness and joy of having you by her side, at some point today for her to break down.  She’s very good at trying to hide it, trying to isolate herself, crying and breaking down alone.  That’s always upset me honestly, as far back as when her mother passed.  I see how much she means to you, so I know you don’t want that for her.  I know you want to be there for her.  You need to show her that, help her see that she can lean on you, depend on you, show that you can be her strength when she needs it,” Dot encouraged.

“Oh, wow!  It all makes so much sense now.  I had seen such sadness in her eyes this morning.  That’s what I want…to be her rock.  I want her to let me be her everything, Dot.  I do.  I’ll do my best to help her through,” I said, standing up to return to Mary Beth.

“Thank you Cody.  You’re a good man,” Dot said, pulling me into a hug before patting me on the arm.  “You’d better get back before Mary comes looking for you.  Oh and here’s a dozen fresh eggs to take back to her.  Can’t have you going back empty handed since I called you here to pick up something, can we?” She winked.

I waved at Dot as I stepped off the front porch to head back to Mary Beth.  I stopped short of the back door and took a deep breath.  I felt the tears begin to form in my eyes at the thought of my angel in pain, but I fought them, knowing I had to be able to give Mary Beth strength today.  I pushed the back door open and walked back into the kitchen.

“Hey, love!”  I said happily, walking over to Mary Beth.  “Aunt Dot sent us some fresh eggs.  Did you want me to put them in the fridge?” I asked as I stopped behind her to kiss her neck.

“That would be great.  I haven’t started breakfast yet so leave out how many you’d like me to cook for you, ok?” she requested.

“Since you haven’t started cooking yet can we go sit down a minute?” I asked softly.

She nodded and I took her hand and lead her into the living room.  I sat down in the large overstuffed chair in the corner and pulled Mary Beth down to sit in my lap. I reached up and cupped her cheek with my hand.

“Love, earlier when I asked you what was wrong, why didn’t you tell me what today is?” I asked softly and gently.

“What?” she whispered.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your dad?” I said quietly.

“I didn’t want to bother you with it.” She shrugged.

“There is nothing about you that will ever be a bother to me.  If you’re hurting or sad I need to know.  I need to help.  I need to be here for you.  I want to be your rock.  Let me take care of you Mary Beth,” I begged.

I felt her shoulders begin to shake and then watched as she fell apart in my arms.  I leaned back in the chair and pulled her back with me, letting her settle into my chest.  I closed my arms around her, one hand rubbing her back and the other in her hair.  Her face was tucked into the crook of my neck, which was now wet from her tears. 

“Shh, love.  It’s going to be ok.  You aren’t alone anymore.  I’m here.  I’ll always be here.  Oh Mary Beth,” I began as I felt a tear slide down my cheek as my heart broke for her.  “I wish I could take away all your pain.”

I felt her pull back from me slightly.  She took a deep breath, trying to compose herself.  She reached out and gripped the front of my t-shirt.

“Cody?” she began, urging me to look in her eyes.  “You can’t take away the pain completely, but whether you know it or not you’re already making it better. You make me feel more alive than I’ve ever felt before in my life.  You make me so happy.  I feel so at home with you and so on fire for life all at the same time.  I can’t imagine my life without you.”

“I want you to know that I’ve never felt this way before in my life.  Thank you for helping me be brave enough to not be afraid,” I whispered.  “But please let me help you get through this, ok?”

I felt her settle back into my chest and relax against me.  I held her close to me and just caressed her, willing her to let go.  I felt her sigh against me and I knew it was working.  I felt my heart swell that I could help her feel better.

“Mary Beth?” I asked, urging her to look at me.

“Yes, Cody,” she said quietly.

“I have two things I’d like to do today, if it’s ok with you,” I began.  “I’d like for you to think about how you’d like to honor your dad today, something we can do together and with Tommy as well if you’d like.  I would also like for you to let me pamper you.  Can you do that for me?”

“Yes,” she answered in a small, quiet voice, betraying that this was something new to her, having someone look after her and her needs.

At that moment though her stomach began to growl.  We both laughed at the sound as my stomach decided to join hers.  I decided this was the best moment for the pampering to begin.

“Come on, beautiful.  How about you let me fix you breakfast today?” I grinned, helping her to stand up before standing myself.

I led her to the kitchen and seated her at the bar.  I gathered up what I needed to make omelets.  I could handle that at least.  I poured her a cup of coffee and went to work.  The phone rang, jarring us out of the quiet of the moment.  I saw Mary Beth reach for it to answer.

“Hello?” she began. “Hi Julie!  Yes.  Ok.  If it’s ok with you Cody and I will look everything over next week while we’re in Red River.  Yes.  Can I call you later about that?  Good.  Yes, hang on.”

“Cody, Julie asked to talk to you,” she said, handing me the phone.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Cody, how are things going?” Julie asked.

“Never better.  The best ever!” I grinned as I looked over at Mary Beth.

“You should know today is going to be a hard one for her,” Julie tried to explain.

“I know all about it Julie.  I’ve got it covered,” I explained.

“She told you?” Julie said in shock.

“Well, she and Aunt Dot, but yes, we’ve talked about it,” I replied.

“Wow!  She never opens up about stuff like this.  Wow!  What the heck is going on out there?” Julie asked, struggling for understanding.

“We belong together, Julie.  Simple as that,” I said, winking at Mary Beth.  “I need to let you go, ok?  I’m making breakfast for my woman.”

“Ok, talk to you soon.  Call me if you need anything!” Julie answered before hanging up.

I smiled over at Mary Beth and refocused on our breakfast.

“Did Julie tell you about the movie and production company information?” Mary Beth asked.

“No.  Not at all,” I replied.

“She emailed it this morning.  I thought maybe we could look at it next week sometime,” Mary Beth said before taking a sip of coffee.

“That’s fine if that’s what you want.  I’m not in any hurry.  Being with you is more important than making a movie.” I answered honestly.

“Yes, but if we make this movie together that’s just even more time we can spend together, isn’t it?” she asked, a hopeful smile on her face.

“Well, you’re right about that!  Let’s get to it then!” I grinned.  “I did have one thought about it.”

“Do tell, Mr. McAllister.” She grinned.

“Have you thought anything about who you’d like to direct?” I questioned.

“Not really.  I know we’ll probably be on a tight budget and it will be a smaller picture, so I’m sure we’ll have to get someone starting out looking for their big break,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.

“Well, I kind of had an idea about that. I’ve got a buddy that might be a good fit,” I offered.

“Someone you’ve worked with before? Does he direct?” she asked as she raised an eyebrow.

“Well, he hasn’t before, but he’s been around the business in front of the camera so long, and he’s so smart, that I think he’d be great.  I think it’s something he’s interested in trying, for sure,” I answered hopefully.

“Call him,” she directed, handing me the phone.

I quickly dialed Jake’s cell phone number.  I knew it was early in California but with his little ones I also knew he’d be up.  He answered on the third ring in a hesitant voice, a reaction to the unknown phone number I’m sure.

“Hey Jacob!” I bellowed.  “How’re you doing?”

“Cody!” he chuckled.  “Man, where in the world are you?”

“Texas, bro!”  I laughed.

“Texas?  What in the world are you doing in Texas?” he questioned.

“I’ll explain later.  I’ve got a question for you,” I explained.

“What can I do for you?” Jake responded puzzled.

“Well, have you ever read any of M.E. Welch’s books?” I asked.

“Not personally. My wife reads them religiously though,” he answered.

“Does she have a copy of “Where the Trail Ends”? I questioned.

“Sure.  She just finished it a couple of days ago.  Why?” Jake probed.

“I’m working on developing a project, working on making that book into a movie.  We’re going to need a director and I thought of you,” I said quickly.

“You want me to direct?  And since when do you have a production company?” he said incredulously.

“Yes, I’m asking you if you’re interested in directing.  And we’re in the middle of putting our company together.  Do you think you could read through the book in the next few days?  See what you think about it and then let me know?” I asked hopefully.

“Of course.  I’m just in shock. I’ve always wanted to try my hand behind the camera, but it’s hard to get anyone to let you make that transition,” he said still in shock.

“Well, this would be one heck of an opportunity for you then, wouldn’t it?” I chuckled.

“Yeah, it would be.  Let me get the book and I’ll let you know,” he promised.

“Ok.  Call me on my cell though.  I’ll be out of pocket next week,” I explained.

“Will do!  Talk to you soon!” he exclaimed before hanging up.

I looked over at Mary Beth and smiled. 

“Well?” she asked excitedly.

“He’s going to read the book.  His wife had a copy she had just finished.  It’s just a formality though I think. He was definitely interested.  I know him. He’ll do it,” I said confidently as I set her omelet in front of her.

“Mmm, this is amazing!” she said as she chewed her first bite.  “Cody, this is fantastic!”

“You’re welcome, love!” I laughed.

I watched her for a moment, picking around at the food on the plate in front of me. Finally I cleared my throat and spoke up. “Are you sure you want to make me a partner in this though?  It’s not like I have a lot to offer,” I admitted.

“Cody,” she said, standing and walking to me.  “You are my partner.  Period.  I know it and you know it,” she said firmly as she grasped my large hands in her small ones.

Suddenly I knew she wasn’t just referring to the production company.  I knew she was 100% right too.  We were partners, maybe not in every sense of the word yet, but we would be soon enough.  Mary Beth was so generous.  She wanted to share everything with me and I loved her even more for it. I leaned down and rested my forehead against hers.

“How did I get so lucky?” I asked softly as I felt her hand come up to caress my cheek.

“I’m the lucky one,” she whispered.

I tilted her chin up and pressed my lips softly to hers.  “Enough work talk for today though!” I smiled as I moved away from her.  “Finish your breakfast!” I ordered with a smile and a wink as I picked up my own plate and joined her at the bar.

“Yes, sir!” she laughed, digging back into her food. 

I smiled over at her as I dug into my omelet, devouring it and the toast I had made to go with it in minutes.  I watched Mary Beth drink the last bit of her coffee and then I stood to clear the dishes.  Once that was done I walked back around to her, reaching out to clasp her hands and pull her up into my embrace. 

“Have you given any thought to how you’d like to honor your dad today?” I asked softly.

“Yes.  I’d like to pull out some pictures to show you.  I want you to know about him and about my life.  It would be nice to focus on the happy memories,” she sighed, leaning into my chest.

“I’d like that love,” I smiled, reaching a hand up to smooth her hair.

“If we could, after Tommy gets home, I’d like to take some flowers out to his grave and leave them,” she requested.

“Of course.  Now why don’t we go look at those pictures.” I smiled as I pulled away from her.

I settled back into the oversized chair in the living room as Mary Beth walked over to the bookshelf, retrieving several albums before coming to settle in my lap.  We worked our way through all the books, with her telling me stories about each one.  It gave me so much insight into who Mary Beth was and how she had become that person. 

“He would have really liked you, you know,” she sighed.

“You think?” I asked, wrinkling my nose in doubt.

“I know.  You are so much like him in so many ways.  He was very much a practical joker, just like you. He loved to laugh.  He was fiercely protective of those he loved.  He had the biggest heart.  He always knew how to make me feel better.  He was the strongest man I knew but he was also very gentle,” she said.

“You see all that in me?” I asked in disbelief.

“I do.  I see it in everything you do.” She smiled as she caressed my cheek. 

“And here I thought I was being mysterious!” I chuckled.  “You see me so clearly…sometimes better I think than I see myself.”

“I feel the same way about you.  You always seem to know what I need,” she said softly.

“Speaking of, it’s time, I think, to begin your pampering,” I said with a grin, helping her to stand.

I led her upstairs to her room.  I sat her down on the bed for a moment before I turned to go out the door.

“Wait here, ok?  I’ll be right back!” I smiled as I walked into the hall.

I opened the linen closet and searched until I found what I was looking for.  I walked back to Mary Beth’s room.  I walked over to her and handed her the sheet.  She looked up at me in confusion.

“I’m going to give you a massage.  I can’t think of a better way to help relax you.  Just wrap this around you and then lie down on the bed.  I’ll be back in a minute, ok?” I asked hopefully.

She nodded as I turned to walk out the door.  I shut it behind me and went to my room.  I had seen some lotion in my bathroom that I thought would work best.  I retrieved it then waited a few minutes to give Mary Beth time to get comfortable.  I walked back to her room and knocked lightly to make sure she was ready.

“Come in,” she answered.

I pushed the door open and walked in to find Mary Beth, wrapped in the sheet, lying on her stomach across the bed.  She looked so peaceful.  I appreciated that she trusted me enough to do this.  I climbed up on the bed next to her and leaned down to kiss her cheek.

“Thank you for letting me take care of you,” I whispered into her ear.

She merely nodded but I noticed one tear slip from the corner of her eye.  I reached out to catch it with the pad of my finger.  I felt like someone had their hands around my heart, squeezing it tight.  How did this happen?  I’d prayed for it my whole life, but how did it happen so fast?  Yet it felt more right than anything had ever felt in my life. 

I took a deep breath and rolled the sheet down to her lower back.  I squeezed a good amount of the lotion into my hand and began to work my way over all the muscles in her back.  Her skin was so warm and silky underneath my hands.  I could feel the tension in her muscles begin to dissipate beneath my fingers.  Every once in a while I heard Mary Beth sighed contentedly.  I moved the sheet to recover her back before moving my focus to her legs and feet.  As I began to knead her feet, I heard a soft moan escape her lips.  Interesting.  I’d have to remember that, I grinned. 

“Turn over for me, love,” I whispered next to her ear.

She did as I asked.  I began to massage her arms, working my way to her hands.  Again a moan slipped from her lips.  I couldn’t help but look at her left hand and imagine what it might look like with my ring on her finger.  What in the world!  Where had that thought come from?  I shook my head and refocused on Mary Beth.  As I finished my work I leaned in to her and pressed my lips to hers. 

“I’m going to fix a bath for you now, love.  Is that ok?” I asked quietly.

She nodded and smiled before closing her eyes in bliss.  I went to her bathroom and ran a steamy bubble bath for her.  I lit a few candles around the room and returned to let her know it was ready.  She was sitting up on the bed with the sheet wrapped around her.  I took her hands and led her into the bathroom.

“Enjoy your bath, ok?  Take your time.  I’ll leave you some clothes on your bed.” I smiled.

“What are you going to do, Cody?” she asked, squeezing my hands.

“I think I’ll go take a shower.” I smiled once more.  “Now, go.  Enjoy!” I said, turning to go back into her room.

I shut the door behind me and then began to search her dresser for some clothes for her.  I grabbed some underwear, pajama pants and a tank top.  I tossed them on the bed and then left the room, shutting the door behind me.  I took a deep breath as I walked to my room.  I was trying to keep this all about Mary Beth, but I wanted her so much, needed her so, that it was challenging. 

I walked into my room and shut the door behind me.  I grabbed some pajama pants before heading in the bathroom.  I turned the shower on, leaving the water temperature at best lukewarm.  I needed to calm myself before returning to Mary Beth.  My Mary Beth.  She was so beautiful.  She had the biggest heart I’d ever known and for some reason she had a place in her heart for me.  For me!  Having her bare skin under my hands earlier had been torturous.  I wanted to toss the sheet aside and make her mine.  I had to keep reminding myself that she had never been in this place before.  Add that to the fact that I wanted to make everything perfect for her, to honor her, and I had to keep myself in check. 

Yeah, tell that to the hormones and emotions raging through my body at the moment.  All I could think about was Mary Beth…how she felt, how she smelled, how she made me feel.  I groaned as I stepped under the water.  I couldn’t stop myself from imagining Mary Beth there with me in the shower.  All the intense emotions of the last few days came crashing down on me.  I couldn’t stop myself from crying out her name as I fell back against the shower wall in exhaustion before sinking to the floor. 

Panting as I leaned back against the shower wall, the now cold water rushing over my head, I heard the door to my bedroom open and then heard Mary Beth call out to me. 

“Cody?  Are you ok?” she asked in concern.  “I thought I heard you call me.”

Just dandy!  I guess she had heard me after all. Could I just crawl in a hole now?

“Yeah, love.  I’m fine,” I said from my place in the shower, my voice shaking with exhaustion. “Go back to your bath.”

“Ok.  I’ll see you in a little bit,” she called hesitantly before I heard my bedroom door shut again.

I leaned my head back once more and thought about the last week.  I’d never felt more at home, nor more on edge, in my life.  Having to hold back from Mary Beth was almost more than I could take.  But I knew I belonged with her.  I couldn’t screw this up.  She saw the real me, the me that no one else took the time to see, the real me I didn’t let them see.  Everyone just thought I was a goofball, an airhead jock, a comedian, or a player.  No one saw what Mary Beth saw.  I’d kept this part of me, all of me, hidden for the one God meant me to share my life with. She saw straight into my heart and into my soul.  I felt like I could really be myself with her.  I felt like I was home. 

I reached to turn off the freezing water and pushed open the shower door.  I toweled off and pulled on my pajama pants and an old t-shirt.  I wanted to dress to match Mary Beth.  I hoped that would help convince her to be lazy today.  She deserved that, today especially.  I knew it would be hard enough on her as it was.

I pulled open the door to my room and walked down the hall to Mary Beth’s room.  I knocked lightly, unsure whether she was out of her bath.  I heard her answer.

“Come in, Cody,” she said happily.

I pushed the door open to find Mary Beth curled up on her bed.  She patted the bed next to her, inviting me to join her.  How could I possibly resist such an invitation?  I climbed onto my side of the bed and crawled under the covers.  I lifted the covers back on Mary Beth’s side as she crawled under to join me.  I pulled her against my chest and into the crook of my arm.  I felt her settle into me as if her body was made to fit mine.  I couldn’t help but sigh at the thought. 

I felt her hands begin to drift over my chest.  As I closed my eyes, I took a deep breath and steeled myself.  I’d allow her this, giving her as much leeway as I could.  I needed her to get comfortable with us being together like this.  I needed her to be in control right now.  I began to trace light circles over her back as I was on fire under her touch.  She traced circles over my chest before moving to my stomach, tracing each and every line of my muscles through my tight shirt as if she were trying to memorize them. 

“Oh, Mary Beth,” I sighed, unable to stop myself.

“Am I doing something wrong?” she asked worriedly.

“Oh no!  You’re doing everything right.  Too right.  You’re taking us places I’m not sure you’re ready to go yet,” I said quietly.

“I’m sorry,” she began.

“No.  Don’t ever be sorry.  I want you to feel comfortable with me, with us.  I love that you are beginning to feel that way.  I just don’t want to rush things.  I need to honor you and what is between us. I can’t lose you,” I admitted.

“You won’t,” she said, sitting up suddenly. 

I sat up with her, trying to figure out what she was doing.  She seemed frustrated, trying to prove herself to me in some way.  She sat straight up in the bed and I turned myself to face her.  She reached out and closed her hand around my left wrist, lifting it and bringing my left hand to rest on her chest, covering the place over her heart.

“Do you feel that?” she asked as her heart thumped rapidly under my hand.

“Yes,” I sighed.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Your heart,” I whispered.

“My heart…you own my heart now Cody.  It belongs to you,” she said, covering my hand with her own. 

I held my hand in place for a moment, relishing the feeling.  I then closed my hand around her wrist and brought her hand to rest over my heart.  She gasped as she felt the wild thumping.

“Oh my,” she gasped.

“Do you feel that, Mary Beth?”

“Oh Cody,” she sighed.

“My heart beats for you now.  Only for you. It’s yours,” I said firmly.

I felt her hand flex over my heart in time with the beats.  I lay back down on the bed and pulled Mary Beth with me.  She curled into my side again.  I leaned over and pressed my lips to hers. 

“Rest, love.  I know you’re tired, so rest before Tommy gets home.  I’ll be right here,” I whispered, closing my eyes as well.

We slept several hours until I glanced at the clock and knew Tommy would be home soon.  I gently shook Mary Beth to wake her.  She smiled at me and leaned up to press her lips to mine.  I moaned at the contact and immediately felt her tongue drag across my lips.  I opened myself up for her, relishing the fact that she was taking the lead, that she was comfortable with this exploration.  I felt her tongue graze over my own and her hands thread through my hair.  I settled my arms around her waist, pulling her as close to me as I could.  We continued this until we were both breathless.  I pulled away and grinned at her.  Honestly, I’d never been happier.  I winked at her before moving to stand up.

“It’s almost time for Tommy to be home, beautiful.  I thought you might want to get everything ready before he gets here,” I said, clearing my throat. 

“You’re right.  Just let me change,” she said.

“Where are we headed?” I asked, trying to decide what I should wear.

“My parents are buried here on the ranch.  We can either take the Jeep or we can ride out,” she said.

“Let’s ride.  If you want I can get the horses saddled while you change and get everything ready.  Should I saddle Tommy’s horse as well?” I asked.

“I’m pretty sure he’ll want to ride with you, so I wouldn’t bother.  Not today anyway,” she smiled softly.

I nodded and walked to my room.  I changed quickly and headed to the barn.  By the time I had Ponyboy and Mac saddled Tommy was home and standing on the back porch, ready to go.  Mary Beth appeared shortly after.  I walked the horses over to them.  Sure enough Tommy climbed up to sit in front of me. 

We rode for about 30 minutes in the direction opposite of our pond.  As we crested the last hill I saw there were three huge oak trees growing.  I noticed a headstone situated beneath these trees.  Mary Beth rode ahead, sliding quickly out of her saddle and falling on her knees in front of the stone.  She placed the flowers and then began to cry into her hands.  I rode forward and helped Tommy off the horse.  I walked over to Mary Beth, knelt down and closed my arms around her.

“It’s ok, Mary Beth.  I’m here,” I said, willing some comfort into her.  “I’m here.”

I felt her take a deep breath and then she began to speak. 

“Momma, Daddy, this is Cody.  You’d love him.  I know you would.  Daddy, he’s the one you always said would come.  I’m sorry he won’t get to know you, but you would love him.  I know I…” she began before shaking whatever she was going to say off.  “I miss you both.  I miss you so much,” she said before standing up and stepping back. 

Tommy stepped forward a moment and put his hand on the stone.  He thought for a moment before he spoke.

“Papa, I miss you.  It’s just not the same without you.  I love you,” he said simply before joining Mary Beth.

Mary Beth turned and began to walk back to the horses with Tommy.  She turned to wait for me.

“Go ahead, love.  I’ll be there in just a minute.” I smiled. 

She turned to go, understanding that I wanted a bit of privacy.  Once they were with the horses, I turned my attention back to the stones.  I knelt in front of Mr. Matthews’ stone, pressing my hand against it.

“Mr. Matthews, I just want you to know that I will take care of Mary Beth.  She’s my whole world, her and Tommy.  It happened so fast, but I know it’s meant to be, it’s what God has always meant for me.  I will always be there for them.  They are my life.  I will love them forever.  I hope you would have approved.  She says you would have.  I’ll do my best for her.  I promise,” I said before rising and turning to join Mary Beth and Tommy.

I climbed onto Mac and pulled Tommy up in front of me.  We rode back to the house, stopping at Dot and Walt’s for dinner.  We didn’t linger long over dinner as we still had to pack for our trip.  Tommy was almost asleep by the time we got home.  I carried him in to his room.  Mary Beth busied herself packing his bag while I helped him get ready for bed.  It felt good to be needed in this way.  Once his bags were packed and I had read him two books, Tommy hugged me good night and kissed Mary Beth before falling asleep. 

As I went to my room to pack, Mary Beth paused at my door for a moment.

“You’re not sleeping here, are you?” she asked worriedly.

“Not unless you want me to.  I was just planning to pack quickly.  I don’t have a lot with me that will work for skiing.  I’ll need to stop and buy some stuff tomorrow on the way,” I answered.

“I don’t want you to.  I want you with me.  Please!” she begged as I nodded.  “It won’t be a problem stopping tomorrow.  I have a few things to pick up as well.” She smiled mysteriously.

“I’ll be there in a minute, ok?” I smiled.

By the time I got to Mary Beth’s room she was curled under the covers waiting for me.  I crawled under the covers and pulled her to my side.  We were both asleep within minutes, despite the excitement and anticipation of the coming day.