7
Pack Leader: A Different Paradigm
Every time we take leash in hand it’s a new opportunity, a new beginning, opening us to a relationship whose dynamism maintains its freshness.
The relationship between Rita and Scotty improved dramatically when Rita adopted the same mind-set with Scotty that she had in raising her children. Her children were never bored. They had to do their homework and complete their chores before they were allowed to play. Bad behavior was simply not tolerated in Rita’s home. There was never any question who was in charge. It was Rita.
Because Rita exhibited a clear authority, her home was mostly an orderly and happy one. When she began to use the same parenting tools with Scotty—walking Scotty on a daily basis while holding him accountable for good leash manners, asking him to sit for his treat instead of showering him with dog biscuits, including Scotty in her life on her terms—Rita got the same results: a happy and orderly relationship.
In this chapter, we’ll continue to develop for you the concept of being the benevolent pack leader, the foundational role in a successful, loving relationship with your dog.
It bears repeating that many people fear that training their dog is going to make the dog dislike them, and so they are reluctant to take on a consistent leadership role. “But I don’t want my dog to hate me!” is a refrain we often hear when we suggest to clients that they take charge. The reverse is true. If you believe as we do that wolves are the antecedents of dogs, then it follows that for dogs to blossom to their full potential we must lead them. This role comes naturally to them, but only if we can coherently show the dog what we expect it to do. Without our instruction, what comes naturally to dogs comes from their DNA and their wild ancestors.
Back to the Pack
Wolves live in a true state of pack dynamics with no human interference. As a consequence, there are few psychologically disturbed wolves. No wildlife biologist we know of will tell you about wolves spinning compulsively, howling constantly without reason, or obsessively chewing inedible objects in the wild.
Indeed, psychological disturbances are rare in the animal world. Poor behavior choices are penalized educationally, and young wolves quickly learn from their elders to make better choices. Good choices are rewarded because they yield good results, such as a place at the dinner table (or the carcass, as the case may be).
For the past twenty years, Rick McIntyre has studied wolves in Yellowstone National Park for the National Park Service. Quoted in the New York Times, McIntyre says the main characteristic of a wolf pack leader is a quiet confidence, a quiet self-assurance. “You know what you need to do; you know what’s best for your pack,” he says. “You lead by example. You’re very comfortable with that. You have a calming effect.” In the same article, McIntyre goes on to compare the alpha wolf with “an emotionally secure man. A great champion.”*
Okay, so humans don’t live in a dog-eat-dog world, or a wolf-eat-carcass world, at least not in the literal sense. But you don’t need to be constantly bossy to be a great pack leader and certainly you don’t need to be aggressive. All you need is to know that your dog views the world in two ways: either organized and understandable, or chaotic and unstable.
A dog knows its need for guidance and flourishes when it’s given.
The Good Boss
So what makes a good pack leader, exactly? Well, first you have to believe you are a pack leader.
To explain the pack leader dynamic, allow us, in our own words, to offer a few analogies.
Imagine yourself working at a new job. On your first day, you’re given the employee handbook. The guide is well written and clearly spells out all the rules. The rules seem fair. The handbook also gives you a complete job description for your role at the company, and all the information you need to succeed in your career.
As you work for the company, you get paid on time. What’s more, you notice that your boss gives you feedback on your performance in a constructive way. When you apply the information she’s provided, you find you’ve become even more productive at your job. A series of bonuses follows, along with promotions. With the promotions come new responsibilities and greater privileges.
How do you feel? Confident? Secure? Dare I say, happy?
Okay, now imagine you’re working for a different company and for a not-so-good boss. There’s no employee handbook. The rules are haphazard at best and change all the time. From day one, you’re on your own to figure out how to do your job. You have no idea how to please your boss.
As you work at the company, the feedback you get is erratic. One morning you’re an hour late, and the boss doesn’t react at all. On another day, you come in just two minutes late, and the boss screams his head off. He’ll praise you for making a decision for the company but then arbitrarily discipline you for doing the same thing at another time. Although the pay is good, and sometimes you even get bonuses, you’re not sure exactly why, and the pay and bonuses don’t give you a sense of purpose or belonging.
Now how do you feel? Nervous? Maybe even rebellious? Makes you want to start chewing the couch, right?
Your dog is not your employee, but some of the successful traits of a good boss are the same in a good pack leader.
Here’s another analogy. Remember the substitute teacher you had in fifth grade? Let’s call her Mrs. Wilt. She wore a cardigan sweater, had her hair in a bun, and was afraid to exert any authority over the class. How long did it take your classmates to realize they could get away with unruly behavior? So long as you didn’t do anything really crazy or dangerous, it seemed in her class you could do what you wanted. It wasn’t that Mrs. Wilt was a bad person—she liked kids and, more than anything, she wanted kids to like her. But she didn’t know how to be in charge. When things got out of hand, she simply turned her back. As a result, her class was disrupted and unproductive.
What made Mrs. Wilt’s teaching style look even worse was when you compared her to Ms. Armstrong, your regular fifth-grade teacher, who was home with a cold. Ms. Armstrong’s class always started on time, and the room was filled with energy. She had high expectations for you and prompted you to perform better than you ever thought you could. She knew how to freeze disobedient behavior with a look, but she also seemed to give out praise at precisely the right moments. You loved her class and you learned so much.
As a dog owner, you can be either Mrs. Wilt or Ms. Armstrong. You can take the easy way of over-kindness and ignore the bad behavior that results from it, or you can put in some effort and be a good teacher. Just remember: Great teachers have the happiest, most successful students.
Class Is in Session
Here’s how your dog understands the classroom analogy. Pack animals follow a pack hierarchy that the dog experts Jack and Wendy Volhard call pack drive. Each dog happily (mostly) takes its place in the order, which is dictated by the urge to follow and collaborate with the leader or teacher. A vital part of pack drive is the willingness to work as part of a team or, to follow the analogy, as a member of a class. When motivated by pack drive, dogs pay attention to their leader (teacher) and try to comply with every understandable and reasonable request. They remain calm and willing. A dog with a high level of pack drive will be easier to train because he will readily respond to touch and praise, and because he finds training stimulating. Remember those students? They were always first to raise their hands and sat in the front row. But all dogs, even the ones in the back rows passing notes to each other, have some degree of pack drive, so they have the ability to learn in this manner.
Like it or not, by bringing home a dog you have appointed yourself teacher. Or, to be more accurate, by adopting a pack animal you have taken the responsibility of being a pack leader. The pack leader is not always the biggest or strongest member of the group. The leader is the one who controls resources for the rest of the pack. All it takes is mental preparedness, commitment, and an understanding of what to control.
In the classroom, praise and presence are perhaps the most important resources a teacher has. Your posture, effective eye contact, the firm but calm tone of your voice—all go a long way in the process of educating your dog. This doesn’t mean you need to be the disciplinarian at all times. The whole point of training your dog is to have more fun with him. But as Rita realized, there’s a time for fun and a time for chores.
There is also too much of a good thing.
Praise
If you praise your students all the time for every little thing they do, then the praise eventually falls on deaf ears. In the politically correct world of dog training, dogs are praised so often that it becomes meaningless babble. Don’t get us wrong, praise is absolutely necessary in training your dog. But only when praise is appropriately given is it a formidable tool in dog training. An easy way to know if you’re using praise inappropriately is if you’re using it as a bribe. Dogs see through such ruses very quickly and either disregard the verbal praise entirely or respond to it solely for the treat. Praise should come from you organically, when you are truly grateful for your dog’s action and attention. Believe us, your dog knows when your praise is authentic. Yet there are owners who have trouble accessing that authenticity. We once had a quiet, reserved client who owned a Shar-Pei. Although the Shar-Pei would answer when the man called, the dog would amble over to him in such a lackluster way that the man was embarrassed. We suggested that he be a little more enthusiastic with his command and that he playfully stroke the dog’s head and side when she came to him. “But that’s just not me,” he told us. Though we continued the training, we made little progress. Then, at one training session the man attended, his daughter and granddaughter visited. He met his grandchild in such an animated and playful way that he took us by surprise. When we pointed this out to the man and suggested he use just a portion of this enthusiasm with the Shar-Pei, he was astonished but agreed to try. Almost immediately, the dog began to mirror the man’s newfound interest in her. Training became easier, the Shar-Pei was soon bounding back to the owner when called, and the bond between owner and dog began to grow. There was simply more joy in the relationship.
Praise and even play during a training session, used judiciously, are powerful motivators, making good behavior more fun for the dog. Indiana trainer John Rohrig takes a moment to play with Axl.
On the other hand, praise should fit the situation. Just because your dog sits when he’s asked doesn’t mean you should treat him like he just won an Olympic gold medal. Keep your voice measured, both soft and positive. Praise should be delivered physically as well as verbally. You might want to extend the physical part beyond petting your dog on the head and shoulders—he might appreciate a good scratch on his side or chest more. Although treats may accompany verbal and physical praise, they should not be substituted for it. The way you speak to and pet your dog characterizes the relationship—it’s the true connection.
Praise is just one of the many resources for which your dog yearns in appropriate measure, and it’s in the control of these resources, and your dog’s desire for them, that she learns correct manners. Too often we see dog owners respond to their dog when the dog is being demanding rather than when he’s compliant.
For example, we had a client whose dog would stare at the cabinet where the treat jar was kept and then bark at the client. The client found this routine adorable, so he rewarded it by dutifully opening the cabinet, getting out the treat jar, and offering up a cookie. This happened many times per day. The client couldn’t see that he was rewarding demanding behavior—and overfeeding the dog.
Dogs inadvertently learn a lesson each time we interact with them, and the only question is whether it is a lesson we intended the dog to learn. So rather than mechanically responding to the dog’s command to deliver, we can use the opportunity to our advantage. If your dog wants a treat, ask him to do something for it. It can be as simple as a sit or a down. Or, rather than giving the treat to your dog right away, randomize giving him rewards. Make him wonder, Is this the time I’ll get it? You can wait until he is off chasing a bird or some other distraction and then whistle him back for the treat he had been craving earlier. When randomized, high-value food treats motivate dogs to obey even in the face of challenging distractions.
The message you’re always looking to communicate is this: I have all the good stuff, everything you want and need. Moreover, I’m far more likely to share it with you when you offer me the behavior I ask for in return.
If this all seems deceptively simple, it is. The fact is that your dog will offer good behavior to get the things that it wants.
Mixed Messages
The obvious reason why you need to be clear with your dog is to stay away from unintentional training, which happens when we are unaware of the real message we are sending to our dogs. For example, the dog growls when a person approaches, and the owner soothes, “It’s okay, it’s okay,” in an attempt to mollify the animal. What message is the dog receiving? The boss says it’s okay, then it must be okay to growl. We had an adolescent dog brought to us because of his penchant for attacking footwear. After asking the owner a few questions, it was revealed to us that the dog was given a retired loafer to play with when he was a pup. What did the dog’s owners expect? We had another case where the owners used an old towel as a tug toy for their puppy yet were baffled when the dog started pulling the laundry off the line in the backyard. Dogs are literal creatures, which makes them terrific students as long as the lessons are clear.
MARC Claude is a 230-pound brindle mastiff. A giant, friendly, happy dog. He was about four or five when he was brought to us. Claude’s owner told us that her dog had always been the rock star of the neighborhood. He loved every human, he loved every dog, and everybody loved him. He especially loved children and would let them ride him like a pony. Claude went to the dog park nearly every day. One day at the park, another dog attacked Claude. The gentle giant didn’t even know what to do as the offender bit him multiple times.
The attacker was a miniature poodle that weighed about twenty pounds. Terribly upset, Claude’s owner hauled him away.
In the months afterward, whenever Claude and his owner encountered a dog on their travels, Claude would show only mild concern, but the owner was so worried about another attack that she’d drag Claude across the street. So, rather than helping Claude get over the trauma of the poodle attack, the owner was inadvertently reinforcing in Claude the wrong lesson: Dogs are scary, dogs are dangerous, and we need to get away from them. Over the ensuing year, Claude became progressively more aggressive toward other dogs. His owner had unintentionally created a self-fulfilling prophecy. He went from being the rock star of the dog park to its pariah. He couldn’t even go for walks because, in the words of his owner, “whenever he sees another dog, he becomes like a lion on the Serengeti. He wants to take them down like gazelles.”
Claude trained wonderfully. We began by simply teaching him leash etiquette. In our world, leash manners require a dog to walk by our leg, leash held close to our body but not tight. It is the dog’s job to keep the leash loose. To do this he must remain relaxed and pay attention to our pace. He must allow us to pick the speed at which we walk, the direction we’re going, when we choose for him to stop, and what we choose for him to sniff. This means that the dog has to concentrate a bit to perform the job correctly. Mind you, once he gets used to it, he can do this while enjoying the walk and the companionship of his owner.
Claude’s problem was that he flew into a state of excitement every time he went out for a leash walk. And in that frame of mind, far from calm, he’d become agitated as soon as he saw another dog. Perhaps he was still worried about the incident that had so affected him. But the deeper cause was more likely to have been the attitude of his owner. Rather than guide him through a tricky situation as a good pack leader would do, she panicked more and more until poor, confused giant Claude took matters into his own hands.
But once we taught Claude to remain calm and focused with no other dogs around, we began to walk him with other dogs in sight. Although we did have to reinforce the leash manners Claude had just learned in an isolated situation, his reaction to the other dogs was quite mild compared to earlier precisely because he had leash manners to focus on and because the other dogs were—as a deliberate training strategy—very far away.
So Claude’s reaction to other dogs went from lion on the hunt to grumpy old man and, with time and effort, to relatively unconcerned.
Over time, we began to move closer and closer to other dogs. And as soon as Claude realized that (1) the other dogs weren’t going to hurt him and (2) he must remain focused and mannerly on the leash, we were actually able to take walks with other dogs. In very little time Claude knew that order had been restored to his world. He learned there was no need for him to be reactive and that poor leash manners simply would not be permitted. In short, good leadership calmed Claude enough that he understood panicked aggression was not only no longer tolerated but also completely unnecessary.
Mind you, it’s a great deal easier to educate the mind of a 230-pound dog compared to physically wrestling him into submission, so that’s what we did. But even if Claude had weighed thirty pounds—and we’ve worked with many similar dogs in that weight range who had behavioral problems—we still wouldn’t want to physically intimidate him. That’s because we know that changes in the behavior and the body start with changes in the mind.
In a couple of weeks, Claude was better, the owner was happy, and the neighbors were thrilled—the rock star had returned.
Another example of unintentional training would be trying to comfort your dog during a thunderstorm. An old adage goes, “You get what you pet.” Hugging your dog when she’s shivering in fear tells her that shivering in fear is the appropriate way for her to feel. In fact, a dog, especially one that doesn’t know you well, might interpret a hug as an invasion of space and a dominant move. Frightened by the thunder already, the hug now forces the dog to deal with a dominance issue. Instead, you might want to interrupt and redirect her attention. You might also encourage her to find a “safe” place in your home—under a couch, in a crate, or on her doggy bed, for example. The encouragement can be accompanied by a tasty treat—so your dog associates the safe place with something she enjoys. This will also distract your friend, which is another way to help her through the storm, so to speak.
Clear communication is perhaps the most important aspect of any relationship, but especially so between dog and owner. You can’t expect your dog to interpret nuances. For most dogs, acquiring and occupying space is extremely important. Some dogs will take as much as you give. In the hierarchy of a household (a pack), a dog should be allowed to breach the human’s space only when she is invited. Conversely, a dog’s personal space should also be clearly defined. When those lines are blurred, the dog is left with little recourse but to defend her space or to encroach on others’. A good pack leader, a great boss or teacher, clearly explains and reinforces those boundaries to the dog. Screaming and pulling the dog by the collar does not constitute an explanation. Neither does it help to reinforce the lesson. In our work with German shepherd puppies, we see very early on the mother teaching her pups not to overly dominate one another. She’ll discipline a pup that causes too much stress to the other puppies. While she does this in a firm, consistent, and clear manner, she never does it out of anger.
Pet Therapy
As a tribe, dog trainers have strong beliefs, and a good deal of the time we’re at odds even with one another. There is one thing, however, that all of us agree on: People are harder to train than dogs. Dogs will change their behavior as soon as it’s in their best interest to do so. Humans? Well, that’s a different story. We’ve taught lifetime leash pullers to walk nicely in as little as thirty seconds. We’ve trained habitual runaways to come happily when called, even off leash, in just a few days. Granted, we are professional trainers, but the truth of the matter is that our principles are not beyond the scope of the interested and informed dog owner.
Yet it took us two hours to persuade the owner of a child-biting St. Bernard not to sleep with her dog. Now, don’t put this book down. We know that a lot of you sleep with your dogs, and although it’s not always recommended, if that’s a nonnegotiable part of your relationship, then God bless. But if your St. Bernard is biting your four-year-old precisely because you’re sharing the seat of power with the big fella, we would strongly suggest other sleeping arrangements. The thing is, humans change their views and habits only reluctantly.
BROTHER CHRISTOPHER Not too long ago, I had a visit from a woman named Margo with an out-of-control two-year-old female German shepherd named Bella. Bella was of working lines not dissimilar to the dogs at New Skete. At the monastery, however, we begin socializing and working with puppies almost immediately so that the pup has everything it needs to cope when the owner takes it home, but Bella had no such advantage. What exacerbated the situation was Margo’s behavior with the dog. When Bella would jump and overpower her grandchildren or jump up onto the couch, Margo would begin to shout and grab Bella’s collar and yank her away. After several of these episodes, Bella began to bite at Margo’s grabbing hand and had more than once drawn blood. A dog biting her owner is a major problem—dogs with a bite history like Bella’s find themselves on lists to be euthanized. But Bella worked wonderfully with us. She was thrilled to be in the company of human beings who could explain to her in a clear way what they wanted from her. Dogs find it easy to respect and collaborate with a fair, comprehensible, and predictable leader. A good pack leader lays down rules that are reinforced consistently and in proper measure. One of the deals we made with Bella was that human hands would not be unfairly used for corporal punishment; hands would touch her only to guide or praise her. If corrections were needed, they were measured and delivered impersonally via the leash rather than by grabbing. When we explained this to Margo, she seemed to understand and all was fine, right?
Well, actually, no.
Two weeks later we got a call from Margo saying that Bella had bitten her again, and her husband wanted to get rid of the dog. Margo was very emotional. She admitted that she had reverted to her old habits of grabbing and yanking Bella’s collar, and Bella had gone back to reacting the only way she knew how. Though there are dogs that will tolerate physically rough treatment by their owner, Bella wasn’t one of them. In spite of the difficult relationship, Margo loved Bella. But she was at her wit’s end.
We asked Margo to come in for a refresher lesson. Since training isn’t a static process, we offer clients continuing support should they run into difficulties. Truth be told, our final two-hour demonstration at the end of our course provides owners with a lot of information. Sometimes it takes time and reminders to fully digest the material. This was the case with Margo. First, we reiterated the need for her to stop yanking and acting like a WWE wrestler with Bella. We told Margo how to use pressure and the leash to guide her dog. We showed Margo how to read Bella so she could anticipate, interrupt, and redirect her attention.
Luckily, Margo’s husband was willing to give Bella one more chance. This time Margo promised to take our instructions to treat Bella in a fair, firm, predictable way. She promised never to grab Bella again. She also promised to follow the leash pressure guidelines we had provided her (and practiced with her), to have Bella walk calmly and politely, and to change direction whenever she sensed Bella trying to lead. Most dogs not only will tolerate a correction with a leash and some form of training collar but also will respond with good attitude and better behavior. We’re not speaking of yanking on the leash when you get frustrated. That doesn’t actually teach anything. But when a dog is forging ahead of you and pulling on the leash hard, you can abruptly and swiftly pivot 180 degrees. If you hustle forward rather than wait for the dog, she will quickly understand that walking by your side will yield a better result for her than lunging ahead. Margo also promised to follow our exercise recommendations, and she began using a ball launcher at her local park to play fetch with Bella. We assured her that this would help enormously in balancing Bella’s high energy and make her more relaxed when she was at home.
Building trust and being fair to your dog make for a happy relationship.
Happily, Margo kept her word. In an email update that came a month later, Margo called Bella “her best buddy.” In the months and years that followed, Bella became an integral part of Margo and her family’s life.
How Will I Know?
When introduced to the concept of being a benevolent pack leader, new clients often ask, “How will I know I’m doing it right?”
Well one way, we tell them, is to know when you’re doing it wrong.
Here are some easy rules of thumb: You’re not being a good pack leader if you find yourself saying, “My dog never listens to me.” You’re not being a good pack leader if you say, “My dog jumps on people” or “My dog barks all the time” or “My dog pulls on his leash” or “My dog doesn’t come when he’s called” or “My dog chews up my house” or any of a wide assortment of common complaints. What is missing in these refrains is perspective and a healthy dose of humility. You’re not being a good pack leader when you leave yourself out of whatever problem you’re encountering and simply blame the dog. A good pack leader is able to be honest enough to judge his own role in a dog’s behavior, both good and bad. It takes two to tango. This even includes far more complicated problems such as: “My dog spins in circles” or “My dogs want to kill each other and other dogs” or “My dog is afraid of everything for no reason” or, the granddaddy of them all, “My dog bites me.” If you find yourself saying anything like the statements above, then you’re probably not being the pack leader you could be.
If you are confident and self-assured in the relationship and provide immediate and consistent leadership, your dog will begin to look to you for direction, signaling that he sees you as the pack leader. Shed all tentativeness. The good pack leader projects a mind-set, a spirit that accepts that you know better than your dog what is in his best interest, much like a parent accepts with his young child. This involves possessing a quiet authority and the patience to enforce rules calmly and without drama. When you show your dog these qualities from the start, it will be easy for him to follow you. This is exactly why we recommend several weeks of leashing your dog in the house when you first get your puppy or adopted older dog: Leashing will teach your dog to follow you and naturally accept your leadership. It will also give you the opportunity to provide your dog with the resources he cares about and to be a pack leader he can trust.
Dog “issues” may appear to differ widely. But the solutions are often very similar. Although some dog problems are complicated, such as reforming dogs that fight each other, most problems we experience with people and their dogs have the same origin: the lack of clear leadership.
This has less to do with training the dog and everything to do with the mind-set of the owner. Many excellent books have been written on how to teach your dog to sit or down or heel. These are important skills for your dog to know. But a skill set does not necessarily help your dog to be happy or cooperative when not directly under command. Yet if you can take the simple steps to control your dog’s resources and become a true pack leader, you can completely change for the better the way your dog lives his entire life.
If being a good pack leader is so simple, and if it merely comes down to projecting a mind-set and controlling resources—those things a dog wants and needs—then why do so many of us have trouble doing it? Two reasons come to mind. First, many people have no idea what resources their dogs want and need. If you are in this category, read on, because we’ll tell you exactly how to use your dog’s coveted desires to benefit both of you.
Second, some folks just don’t want to exercise any form of authority over their dogs. Yes, here it comes again—they don’t want their dog to hate them. But why, in a rhetorical manner, would that be? Why would anyone buy a dog, a pack animal that thrives on leadership, and give him everything he could possibly want except for the one thing he truly needs? Even people who exert authority as a matter of course in their lives and careers have trouble assuming a role of leadership with their dogs.
So, for example, when the CEO of a Fortune 500 company comes home, having controlled the resources of a thousand employees for a full day, she immediately turns the decision-making over to her dog. If the dog wants to cuddle, that’s what the executive does. If the dog wants to eat—and most dogs constantly do—the executive gives out treats like a department store Santa. When they go for a walk and the dog pulls, the executive lets the dog determine the pace and route. We know why the CEO does this, of course. It’s her way of showing the dog that she loves her. Unfortunately, this indulgence produces anxiety in the dog rather than gratitude. We have met some very powerful people in our dog-training careers: doctors, lawyers, actors, and professional athletes. One of our clients manages a very successful hedge fund. All of these people have two things in common, at least from our vantage point: vast personal and professional accomplishments, and their love of dogs. Yet many of them fall into the same trap of selfishly denying the dog the chance to live as she is meant to live.
Of course, this doesn’t just happen to the rich and famous. Dogs are great levelers, and many truck drivers, electricians, and teachers have the same problems. After coping with a full day of traffic, bad circuits, or rowdy children, those people also want to come home and just relax with their dog. The problem is that if no one makes decisions for the dog, he’ll make decisions both for himself and for the owner. In the world in which we live, it is far too easy for dogs to make the wrong decision.
Our world, as it leaps forward in population and feats of technology, is becoming ever more difficult for dogs to navigate without our help. While it may be entirely natural for humans to project their feelings and motives onto their dogs, this is entirely unfair to the dog. It places unwarranted expectations on the dog and disregards its reality.
Part of the art of living with your dog is to give yourself unselfishly, and ungrudgingly, to the dog and its true needs, to honor it for the mysterious and beautiful creature that nature created.
So what does your dog really want? And what does your dog really need? Well, if dogs could talk, the list they would give you would undoubtedly start with hamburger meat and a tennis ball. To put this in more human terms, here’s a partial list of the important resources, the “stuff of life,” that your dog craves:
food
water
space
activity
toys
scent
emotion
By strategically timing when and in what proportion you provide and withhold these resources, you ensure a relationship in which your pet considers you “the one who provides all things good.” Not a bad title to hold. This type of training doesn’t take a lot of effort. It folds naturally into everyday life. Though you must change your mind-set, which by definition is all encompassing, it really doesn’t take up much of your time. And the results are just wonderful. No form of dog training is psychologically healthier or more compassionate. Your dog will love you for it.
Living Large?
Before we show you how to control the resources your dog covets, let’s first talk about what doesn’t matter to dogs. In the previous list of resources your dog craves, you might notice that missing from the list are the things human beings prize: money, fame, electronic gadgets, wardrobe, and square footage. Recently, we saw an article about a $30,000 doghouse built by Samsung, the electronics and technology company. Among the amenities the house offers are an electronic feeder, a treadmill, and a hydrotherapy pool. The living room (the house has three rooms) even comes with a tablet computer, in case, the article states, your pup wants to watch the Westminster Dog Show.*
We seriously doubt that the Samsung house, or its amenities, will make your dog any happier than providing him with a dog bed or a crate.
Dogs don’t care about tablets or three-room houses. And they don’t care where you live. We once had a client who had two dogs and a Park Avenue apartment in Manhattan. The client came to us because the dogs were pooping on a $100,000 Persian rug and next to a wall on which hung signed Picassos. When asked how much exercise the dogs were getting, the owner dutifully said that they were walked in the morning and evening, perhaps a total of a half hour at most. Basically, the only exercise was a walk around the block to potty. Without proper exercise, let alone any mental stimulation, the dogs took matters into their own hands and made a mess of the Park Avenue home. When the owners told us about the dogs’ defecating in the apartment, they were incredulous. “Why are they doing this?” they asked, as if the dogs should’ve known the price tag of the rug.
Dogs don’t care about your fancy address—or your humble one. They are much more interested in the relationship you share with them wherever you live. Your dog can be just as happy living in a modest domicile as on Park Avenue—as long as he’s with you. And happier yet if you’re a good pack leader.