Maryam of Magdala stood for hours behind Yeshua’s cross, so she could not have seen him open his eyes to me. Although I have no hope of raising her spirits – that is beyond the scope of any man or woman – she deserves to be aware of everything I know, which is why, after I say goodbye to the others, I tell her that Yeshua recognized me just before he departed.
She is no longer able to stand, so I kneel beside her.
She clamps her hands over her mouth and shows me glistening, hopeful eyes. ‘Are you sure?’ she asks.
‘Yes. He raised two fingers in the way we used to do as boys – to tell me he had to leave us but that he would be all right.’ I show her the sign I mean. ‘And some time before that he spoke to me as well – in my mind, as he has many times before. He said that there still remained a few things he would try to accomplish before returning to the Lord. He said his body was failing and … and that he would have to leave it behind.’
Yosef of Arimathea has overheard our conversation and comes to me. ‘I’m sorry, Eli,’ he says, taking my shoulder, ‘I never saw him open his eyes – and I was watching him the whole time.’
Three ragged waifs start fighting over one of the nails used to fix Yeshua’s heel to the cross, for they know it will fetch a good price as an amulet. After Mia shouts at them to take their shameful quarrel elsewhere, I summon Nikodemos, who is talking with friends from the Galilee, and ask him to confirm what I saw.
‘I didn’t see him look at you or anyone else,’ he tells me. ‘And I know he didn’t lift any of his fingers. In fact, the way his hand was bound, I’m fairly certain he couldn’t have.’
I do not react with anger or resentment. I thank Nikodemos and Yosef for telling me the truth – their truth – but I also do not question what I saw. You see, Yaphiel, the mysteries of the world sometimes appear to each of us in ways that others cannot see, and there are experiences that are not meant to be shared. We have had them because they are right for us – and because we have been prepared to receive them by all we have ever seen and heard and touched. And suffered.