CHAPTER 9

Socializing

7 P.M.

IT’S PROBABLY NOT movie night, so the night is wide open. You’re looking at hours more of nothing. Your cell mate, he’s filling his time, picking at his toes. There’s got to be someone out there you can talk to.

Assume the worst of everyone. Remember: You may come to consider someone a trusted confidante, but he was someone else’s friend before he met you. Don’t think your personal business will not be leaked out and used against you at some point.

In order to stay sane, you’re going to have to make human contact. When you’ve got time to openly socialize, you should engage with others, build alliances, and keep yourself entertained. Wisely.

As you start circulating among inmates, respect others by using their preferred name. If an inmate is called “Leftover Louie,” “Old Head,” or “Money Mike,” use that name. More than likely, he’s earned that handle in prison, or he’s carried the name since childhood. If an open homosexual calls himself “Michelle,” “Cherry,” or “Cindy,” respectfully call him by his name of choice. Some of these guys might look feminine, but they are still men, and they will transform into fighting machines right before your eyes if you decide to refer to them by the name on their birth certificate. That’s why some refer to prison homosexuals as “Transformers.”

Along these lines, if you come from a neighborhood where it’s common to call your friends “gay,” “punk,” “faggot,” or “bitch,” stop it. It is the quickest death sentence you can inflict upon yourself. Those words immediately categorize someone as soft, incapable of holding his own. In essence, you’re posturing, claiming, “You are not a man. You are a woman who engages in anal and oral sex. I can strong-arm you and take your belongings or your manhood.”

If other inmates know about the name calling, they will expect that inmate to harm you; reputations are protected at all costs. So, keep your mouth shut, even when you see things you might normally mock as being “gay.” For instance, men who are not homophobic often have their hair braided by other men, though straight men never do so behind closed doors. Some prisons have gay cell blocks to prevent homosexuals from being harassed, raped, or killed, but most don’t. If you are a homosexual, the wisest course of action is to keep it to yourself.

Anyway, let’s say you’ve wandered into the common room, and you’ve steered clear of those with obvious bad attitudes. A couple of guys playing hearts agree to let you sit in, and you’ve politely exchanged names. You’ll hear gossip and maybe see a couple of prison schemes unfold; keep quiet. If you see trouble brewing, go to another area immediately, but if all is calm, be a good sport. Remember to keep your comments nonpersonal, light, and respectful. Just like at a dinner party, you don’t bring up politics or religion.

If there’s gambling at the game, use common sense. You can travel the world and it will be unlikely you’ll find a population of individuals who love to gamble more than inmates, but a lot of violence stems from gambling debts. Are you a candidate for accruing debt? Yes. After all, didn’t you gamble on getting away with the crime that landed you in prison in the first place? I am not a sociologist, but I firmly believe there is a high correlation between committing crimes and gambling. On the inside, people tend to gamble for the thrill of the “quick fix,” a desire to pass time, an adrenaline rush, or simply to fit in with other inmates.

It’s one thing if you’re gambling with toothpicks or Cheerios, but a whole different ball game if you’re trying to bet with “money” you don’t have. Debts can be paid through commissary (cigarettes and stamps are a favorite), specific requests (including sexual favors), or your cafeteria meals. But it’s just too risky. If you can’t pay your debt, you’re screwed. Without a gang, you are an island unto yourself, and you will not know who has been paid to come after you to settle the debt. Stop gambling before your head gets stomped. Even if you belong to a gang, I recommend you do not gamble. If you think your gang will protect you when you lose a bet and can’t pay other gang members or races, I have a news flash for you: Your fellow gang members will punish you. It is not uncommon for gangs to beat their members severely with a lock inside a sock due to such foolishness. While the gang’s obligation is to protect you, your failure to pay a debt to opposing factions can lead to a tremendous gang or race riot, putting everyone in danger. Expect to be severely thrashed, or worse.

You’ve got plenty of gambling opportunities while you’re behind bars, from card games, to professional and college sports, to in-house competitions among inmates for push-ups, pull-ups, fights, etc.

Nearly every prison has a sports ticket man, the guy running the sports bets. He’s usually a resourceful inmate, and the ones I came across were quite often white guys. The most memorable was Sports Ticket Timmy. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that he had to deal with a heap of crap, considering his clientele were those who ran some kind of scam prior to entering prison. You could hear Timmy debating with inmates who would claim they’d placed a bet for this or that or took the points for that or this. Timmy usually worked with at least five guys who helped him give out tickets. The perk for the runners was that they could place their own bets. Some runners collect money, stash stamps (stamps were for prison bets with Timmy), or hide multiple copies of every bet taken in case an officer got a tip on his business and decided to shake him down.

Timmy had to be alert and wily. It was no little thing if he was caught. If an officer shakes your locker down and find what they call “gambling paraphernalia” you will definitely be placed in disciplinary segregation, lose commissary privileges, and possibly get shipped out of the prison.

Rarely do you find prison bookies not willing to pay debts. Prison bookies are similar to Vegas and Atlantic City bookies—you can’t break them. When some freakish bet takes place and a lot of money is owed by the bookie, arrangements are made where stamps are paid or someone from the outside will put money on the account of the inmate who placed the bet.

Ticket Timmy would usually pay out his bets around noon each day. That’s plenty of time to find out the scores of each game that took place the night before. He would calculate his winners, count out the stamps owed to each person, and have his men pass out new tickets. Betting tickets for baseball, football, and basketball, along with the point spreads, would be handed out.

Nothing made Timmy’s prison life more hectic than the NCAA Championship, World Cup, and Super Bowl. He’d ramp up his help but promote his regular runners to the trusted position of money men. He’d also keep a few thugs on his payroll in case someone tried to check into Administrative Segregation if they couldn’t come up with the money for the bet.

I remember sitting in the television room in Ashland one morning, along with a roomful of sports fans and gamblers, all of them in rare form. They were practically foaming at the mouth as the Dallas Cowboys versus Buffalo Bills Super Bowl would be kicking off within the hour. Guys were shouting, “This is a lock for Buffalo!” Nobody believed Buffalo could lose four straight Super Bowls. A lot of guys wanted in on the action. One inmate from Ohio named Big K hadn’t had a chance to hand his ticket in because he had been with family in the visitors’ room—but he had a reputation for lingering when it was time to pay his debt, so Timmy refused to take his bet. Big K was furious. He snatched Ticket Timmy by the shirt to intimidate him but several inmates swarmed Big K and nearly killed him. The commotion and beat down happened so fast I hardly had a chance scramble out of my seat to avoid getting trampled in the process. I was shocked the closest officer didn’t hear anything because his office was in the vicinity of the television room.

Later, I learned the inmates were not particularly interested in Ticket Timmy because he was their friend, but because he controlled the potential Super Bowl winning bet. Anyone who interfered with that was considered dispensable.

Most inmates don’t realize gambling is a losing proposition. Always keep this in mind: If you owe as little as $5, the debtor will pay $10 to have someone punish you. The lines in prison are long for inmates who can use $10. If you are expecting money in your account on Tuesday and funds are not credited to your account that day, your debt could increase by 100 percent per day. If the mail is delayed due to weekends or holidays, there will be no mercy. Failure to pay your gambling debts on time can get you killed.

While gambling should be avoided, bartering is a great way to spend your socializing time, as long as you’re smart about it. You can trade a magazine or book for instant noodles or other snacks. If you need something, think about what you can trade for it and who might want what you have. Be careful, though. Don’t go spouting off about all your belongings. Someone might just take them.

Anything can be bartered. There has and will never be a more profitable bartering tool in the prison system than magazines with naked women. The filthier the magazine, the higher the rent. I knew a guy named Money Murphy who hustled like crazy in order to rent the raunchy magazines he lived for. He worked in food service as a dishwasher; I’d often see his coat puffed out like Santa’s as he’d leave the food service area loaded down with tomatoes, raw chicken, eggs, fish, or something else he could sell in order to rent his beloved Black Tail, Players Girls, Sugah, and Black Beauties.

Smoking and alcohol are prohibited, but both are a big part of the black market bartering system. If you are foolish enough to use drugs while in prison, just know you are embarking on a hasty trip to self-inflicted suffering. If a corrections officer catches you with drugs, you may face outside charges, possibly a trip to The Hole, and the cancelation of phone privileges and visits, since they will rightfully assume a friend or family member smuggled them into prison for you.

The street value of drugs multiplies exponentially in prison, which means you won’t be able to afford your addiction for long. There’s also the likelihood of a drug overdose with heroin and cocaine, especially if you’ve been drug-free for months or years. As a prison consultant, I always encourage individuals who are self-surrendering to go in drug- and alcohol-free, and be prepared to face down temptation. Despite all the body searches and room checks, drugs are prevalent. It’s amazing how easy it is for some criminals to smuggle in drugs if they’re creative.

In FCI Fairton, there was a huge white guy named Nasty Mike. He was a primary source for smuggling heroin into the prison, using his visitors as mules. His method of getting past the guards was based on understanding human nature, and he never got caught, not to my knowledge. He had very large rolls of fat and would tuck the drugs into the layers under his stomach. He would intentionally refrain from showering and show up in the visitation room smelling like roadkill. Officers were squeamish about stepping close to Nasty Mike, much less asking him to bend over, spread his butt cheeks, and cough. He’d gross them out further by intentionally coughing near their faces and making snot come out of his nose. He seized on their weak stomachs in order to bring small amounts of heroin back onto the prison compound. He lived like an absolute king.

His entire crew of drug runners were stand-up Spanish guys. On a few occasions, he asked me if I wanted a part in making some great money while in prison. I never thought twice about it, always answering respectfully with “No thanks.” Not only had I stopped selling drugs prior to entering federal prison, I’d seen firsthand young and old men alike become addicted to drugs while behind bars. Besides dealing with the physical side effects, they were always in debt, which resulted in beatings and risky behavior. Most of the addicts end up stealing—like the guys in food service who risk taking food out of the cafeteria each day—to keep the drugs flowing. Others call family members for money, or they gamble, to pay the dealers like Nasty Mike. I’ve never seen a coke or heroin addict keep the support of his family for the duration of his incarceration. It’s much too expensive a habit for everybody involved. After a period of time, it ends one way or another, but never well. Besides risking an overdose, addicts quickly owe far too much to the dealers and so will try and check into protective custody; otherwise, they are seriously hurt. It always comes to a screeching halt.

Even if you can pay your tab, sources can easily dry up, forcing you to go into withdrawal. Officers who deal can be rotated to other housing units, causing smuggling operations to cease at a moment’s notice. Your convict drug connection can get busted. If this happens, you have to worry about more than the shakes; if he is facing serious time, he might dime you out, particularly if he’s scheduled to be released in the near future.

Speaking of snitches … don’t be one.

If you happen to see a drug deal go down or hear a hit being discussed when you’re sitting through that game of cards, you just keep your mouth shut. One of the best things you can do in prison is to see and hear everything going on in your immediate environment and yet say nothing. Correctional officers may ask you for information about an incident involving other inmates or confiscated contraband. Simply claim you were looking the other way and didn’t see or hear anything. While this may irritate the staff, they will likely understand your need for self-preservation.

As I said before, refrain from starting conversations with guards or being seen inside their office, unless it’s necessary, because other prisoners will assume you are snitching. If the population believes you’re an informant—working for the authorities when you come in—those who associate with you will have an ulterior motive. Otherwise, why would anyone in prison want to associate with a snitch? It would make more sense to swallow a Bengay and Ajax sandwich than to be friends with a snitch.

One snitch can harm a lot of people. In the 1980s, drug kingpin Rayful Edmond III was sent to prison for running the District of Columbia’s largest-ever cocaine operation.

On the inside, Rayful had major credibility as a drug dealer and, although Lewisburg housed several former drug kingpins, he had a number of fans—fans he had no problem taking advantage of. Rayful would talk inmates into introducing him to girls who would be willing to bring drugs into the prison for him. Unbeknownst to them, several inmates ended up getting additional prison time because Rayful snitched them out for doing what he’d asked them to do; he decided to cooperate with the FBI and DC police in exchange for a possible reduced prison term for his mother. The women and young men who were bringing drugs to the prison for Rayful were also put in prison. He even snitched on his own girlfriend, Nicole Etienne, who served a few years in prison because of him.

There will always be guys looking for a way out and so they cowardly agree to be a snitch. You need to watch what you say because anyone can be wearing a wire and you’d never know. If you think revealing your involvement in some unsolved Ponzi scheme, or inside trade, murder, or drug deal you pulled off is the way to endear yourself to other inmates, think again. It’s flat-out stupid and reckless to brag about unsolved crimes you committed on the outside. Your fellow inmates will leap at the opportunity to help federal or state authorities solve the crime in the hope that doing so will reduce their own sentence. Prisons are flooded with a new breed of criminals who are flat-out weak. Stand-up guys are as rare as an eclipse.

You might meet some nice guys over a game of checkers. Maybe even some stand-up guys. Or maybe a few snitches. Another type you might run into is the guy who wants to introduce you to his female friends—girls who will write, visit, or bring contraband or drugs into prison for you. It’s a common offer to new inmates. You don’t need this kind of companionship. You will owe the inmate if you take him up on his “favor,” turning your two-year term into a life sentence by involving you in schemes to smuggle contraband into prison. Also, if you have a spouse, she will find out. She’s hurting enough with you on the inside. Respect your woman.

Besides seeing card games and gossip sessions in the common room, and a guy getting his hair braided or trimmed, you’re bound to come across a jailhouse tattoo artist peddling his wares. The movies get this part of the culture right: tattoos are popular in prison. The tattoo artists are respected and paid well for their services.

The coolest tattoo I saw was on an inmate who had a picture of twelve people sitting in a jury box and underneath was a gun and a coffin. Above, it read, “I’d rather be judged by 12 then carried by 6.” He explained it meant it was better to be judged by twelve jury members and sent to prison than to have six men carry his coffin to a graveyard.

It’s amazing what these artists can do, creating tattoo guns with parts scavenged from small electronics available in the commissary. The homemade ink comes from mixing soap and water with the black soot made by burning Vaseline or Baby Oil. Pieces broken off window screens are commonly used to make the needles.

Think twice before you get a prison tatt, though. While the art can be amazing, or tough, or used to show your gang affiliation, it can also make you sick—like, deathly sick. If the artist isn’t careful with his needles, you can easily contract Hepatitis C or HIV, which are rampant behind bars.

Another inmate who is usually well respected is the guy who’s been around awhile and has shown the ability to mediate between offended parties. The common area is sometimes the scene of a sit-down with three or more guys, hashing out their differences before someone gets badly hurt or killed. Prison has its fair share of people who are violent for no reason, but a lot of guys would rather find a peaceful solution, as long as their reputation stays intact.

I had a very dear friend at FCI Loretto in Pennsylvania, who prior to prison wasn’t a street guy. However, he ended up behind bars because he got involved in a street deal that went bad. And he was the reason the deal went south, getting everyone involved arrested. Unfortunately, they were all locked up together. They didn’t care that it was an accident—they put a hit out on him.

I agreed to mediate because I knew both parties, and both respected me. I knew the guy, José, who ordered the hit because we’d been to seven prisons together, both of us aggressively going after molesters and snitchers, working out our rage and frustration on scum but getting ourselves constantly booted. I knew what this guy was capable of and I was worried for my friend, so I offered to help. Normally, I would not get involved but I had common ground with José because of our background and because both of us were involved in religious organizations in the prison. José agreed to talk with my friend, one-on-one, with me present as the mediator. José was loud, very loud, yelling and pounding on the table—it wasn’t a comfortable meeting. My friend stayed calm and humble, admitting he screwed up the deal and was very honestly apologetic. They were able come to an understanding by the end of the meeting. José promised to remove the hit, and he kept his word, even though other guys from that deal were not happy about it. José was highly respected and luckily put his neck out for my friend, who remained loyal to José from that point on.

Any time issues can be resolved peacefully, obviously that’s the way to go. You just have to be willing to sit down and listen, apologize honestly if you need to, and hope you have a good mediator in your dorm.

No matter what’s going on, every convict looks forward to Friday night: Movie Night. You will, too. The movies are chosen by the COs, but they’re usually blockbusters, something everyone can enjoy, though they tend to stay away from anything that glorifies gangs or violence or has a lot of sex. Fridays tend to be pretty calm because most guys don’t want to lose their movie privileges.

Movie night generally follows the same rules that apply to the TV room the rest of the week. You will probably have the opportunity to watch regular TV during your daily free time, but be prepared for the rules. First and foremost, you are not going to have a say in what is on the TV, not for years.

In the last prison I was in, there were two television rooms for the dorm. An old-time inmate made the weekly schedule for each room. One room was dedicated to sports while the other was for regularly scheduled television programs and nightly news; at least 60 percent of the dorm had to agree on the program.

Respect must be shown in the television room. Don’t talk over a program, and never change the channel without permission. That’s a suicide mission. Inmates work out their television viewing schedules weeks, seasons, even years ahead of time. It is their lifeline to the outside world, a way of numbing the pain of prison life, so they will defend it at all costs. Sports rule the television room in prison if there’s only one TV. Even corrections officers are leery of interfering with sports programs.

Normally, prisons will shut televisions off between 10:00 p.m. and 11:30 p.m. Those hours are extended for events such as the Super Bowl, World Cup Soccer, NBA finals, World Series, and championship boxing, if the facility is equipped with cable.

Prisoners like to save their best snacks for movie night or their favorite show. Just because it might feel chummy when you’re all watching the same program, don’t ask people for food. Bring your own. You don’t want to become known as a mooch. There was only one guy I ever knew who could get away with that: Big Baby. Inmates really liked the big Georgia boy with his southern accent and friendly personality. Big Baby was a dark black fat guy with an Afro who stood around five feet ten inches and weighed every bit of three-hundred pounds. He never got tired of eating other peoples’ food. I was appalled when I first saw him wandering around and looking at the food in other inmates’ Tupperware bowls. I thought, This rude dude is going to get it. But no. No one seemed to care. Once in a while, he’d have food of his own and would offer some to others sitting near him, but more often than not, when other inmates came close he’d look at them and nod his head as if to say “whaddya’ got there?” Inmates would put their bowl within his reach and he’d whip a fork out of his pocket and help himself. I guarantee it, no one else could get away with that crap.

Inmates have self-designated spaces where their chairs are placed. If you are provided a chair and bring it inside the television room, do not be surprised if someone asks you to move, particularly if your seat is close to the television or placed where you can get a good view. You will be sitting in “their spot.” Your safest bet is to ask if a certain area on the floor belongs to anyone else prior to setting down your chair. Prisoners will fight to maintain their designated spot, which is treated like a plot of land they have earned.

You will earn the right to a better spot on the floor as inmates transfer out of your housing unit. It may take months or years, depending on the average length of time inmates spend in your unit. Please become a respectful viewer in the television room to avoid unnecessary consequences, especially in the medium and maximum facilities.

One of the weirdest things I saw while on the inside had to do with a guy who was extremely annoying while we tried to watch TV. How he didn’t get beat to a pulp more often was beyond me. In the county jail in Freehold, New Jersey, there was one television on my wing, C-Right, which the thirty inmates viewed through their cell bars. A young black man named Cason would watch the clock closely, preparing himself for certain television shows he knew were about to air—more specifically, preparing himself for the actresses he fantasized about. He’d be primed and ready for The Cosby Show and A Different World, claiming Jasmine Guy or Lisa Bonet were about to go on a date with him. As soon as the opening credits for his favorite shows were on the screen, he’d hop up onto his top bunk. In full view of everyone, he’d lie on his back, feet on his mattress with his knees up, put the blanket over himself, and without any embarrassment would start masturbating as soon as the female actress appeared on screen. Other inmates would yell, “Come on Cason, go to the bathroom!” Without stopping, he’d yell with glee, “This is my dick!”

He might have been able to get away with that in a county jail, but that kind of thing would never fly in prison. If you do cause problems during movie night or a popular TV show, the prisoners will be upset and react immediately—but so will the guards. They will not be thrilled to have to deal with the upheaval, but they’re also going to be pissed when their own viewing is interrupted. You do not want to irritate the guards, my friend.

Corrections officers are hired to do a job, and for the most part they will not cause trouble intentionally. But there are some who will write you up with little to no provocation, so it is best to do what you’re told and not draw attention to yourself. Word of any disobedience will be spread to other staff members, making your life inside more miserable than it already is. Officers who work the shift after a reported incident may do things like toss items around in your locker, delay informing you a visitor has arrived, or hold your mail longer than necessary. Anything to make you frustrated, angry, and resentful while reinforcing their authority.

If you have a run-in with a CO on a power trip, chances are high that others within the institution know the officer in question is a nutcase. However, you are an inmate, which means you are expected to follow instructions whether reasonable or unreasonable. This occurs more often in lower security prisons, because the mentality of the officers reflects the ill-mannered local community outside of prison. Staff members in your correctional institution are supposed to be united, there to keep you safe and in line. However, power-hungry or sadistic correctional officers slip through the cracks sometimes, as do greedy stockbrokers, corrupt police officers, immoral teachers, evil doctors, and depraved coaches on the outside. Bad apples show up in every tree.

While socializing has its harms, it is more harmful if you are kept away from human interaction, like in Ad Seg or solitary confinement. In The Hole, it takes a special breed of person who can take their mind elsewhere minute in, minute out, hour in, hour out, day, week, month, or year, in and out. The best part of an isolated inmate’s day is usually when the book cart comes by, pushed by a convict who has been in The Hole a long time and due to be released back into general population soon, meaning he’s an inmate who has earned the trust of officers and poses no threat.

Many cope with solitary confinement by suddenly turning to God or Allah, spending time in prayer and immersing themselves in a Bible. For entertainment, makeshift chess sets can be made out of toilet paper while the chessboard is drawn on the floor—players will then call out their moves to opponents in another cell. Some inmates workout in their cells several times per day, but hopefully take breaks to read or do something else that also exercises the brain.

Information and goods can be transmitted cell to cell if you’re patient and pay attention. Fishing lines are made out of torn thread from bedsheets or clothing, which is then used to exchange photos, shanks, reading material, or food items while the officers are occupied.

In order to go “fishing” on isolation row, you will push or slide your line so it’s near the recipient’s door, he will pull your line under his door, and then tie the goods onto your line so that you can draw it back into your cell. Stamps are like cash and probably the most exchanged item on the tier. If you’ve got a good aim, you can even take a piece of soap, flatten it, and then shove it so it slides underneath a neighboring cell door. If the gap at the bottom of the door is at least a half inch, bigger things can be exchanged; pretzels, potato chips, Honey Buns, and candy bars are smashed flat so they can fit.

However, if convicts are caught using fishing lines, officers may make the inmates move to a different room, or strip search them for contraband, or tear their cells apart and confiscate anything that might bring comfort in The Hole.

This especially sucks if it’s winter, because some administrative segregation cells can be very cold and inmates use wet toilet paper to clog the air vents, but if an officer comes in and sees the obstruction, he’ll remove it. Fort Dix and Fairton are two prisons with cold cells in administrative segregation almost all year-round. Atlanta Penitentiary, on the other hand, has warm rooms because of extremely hot pipes running through each cell—hot enough that I could make hot chocolate in the evenings. I’d order the chocolate from commissary, get water out of the ancient sink in my cell, using my paper cup from lunch, and mix in the hot chocolate powder. Then I’d use my sock to gently tie the cup around the hot pipe. After twenty to thirty minutes, the drink would be piping hot.

You may have seen movies where convicts will talk to fellow inmates through air vents. That actually works! If the vents are placed in just the right way, you can talk to the guy in the next cell. And if the vents don’t work, a toilet can sometimes transmit muffled tones. Worth the effort, anyway.

Wherever you’re at in the building, hopefully you can safely, and smartly, find a way to make contact with another human being. It’s important to try.