After we eat, we head home. My mother wants me to close all my social-media accounts. I agree to at least think about it. I hardly ever use any of them anyway. I just don’t like being told that I have to. Anyway, I will at least make sure my security settings are the way the social-media police specialist said they should be. I turn on the family computer. I secretly hope to find a message from Max. I log in to my new Facebook account. There’s one message. It’s short.
Hope your search goes well. Be safe.
I message her back.
Just got in. Found my cell but the police are holding it. How are things with you?
As I wait for a reply, I wonder if they have her sitting in group therapy or seeing a counsellor. That’s probably it. I decide to head down to the hospital. I can’t wait to tell her about everything that happened on my search for the phone.
I tell my parents that a friend is in the hospital and that I’m heading over to visit her.
Mom looks horrified. “How can you leave this house after all you went through? And besides, you need to be studying.” She reminds me I’ve already missed two days of school. “You must be so far behind.”
I let her know that I can call the school tomorrow to request work from my teachers. My dad pipes up, telling my mother just to let me go. I look closely at my dad to gauge the spirit of his permission. Is he cool with me going? Or is this a manipulation? Is he saying I can go but expecting me to do the opposite? He looks at me and tells me not to stay out too long.
***
At the hospital, I pop into the gift shop. I’d like to get Max something. A magazine? I have no idea what she’s into. Flowers? That might make her feel awkward. Too much like boyfriend/girlfriend. Stuffed animal? It’s $25 for a small bear — really? I settle on a small collection of junk food: a few chocolate bars, sour candy, fuzzy peaches and licorice. It’s less formal than a box of chocolate. And who wouldn’t like all this?
I take the elevator up to the right floor. As I near her room, I hear her voice. She’s talking to a guy. She asks him to leave. She calls him Nico.
I stop right outside the door. I hear him tell her that she can’t do this to him. I don’t know what he means by “this” but he sounds really pissed. I wonder if I should turn around and leave. I should give them some privacy.
Max asks Nico again to leave. I peek in. It’s him, the guy from the bus, that first time I saw Max. I argue with myself.
You have to go in.
What if Max doesn’t want me to?
You always hesitate at times like this. Just do it.
That guy is much bigger than me.
You’re in a hospital. If you get hurt, there are doctors right here. And besides, you’re not going in to fight the guy. This can’t be stupider than getting trapped in an apartment with knife-carrying phone thieves.
I win the argument.
I knock on the open door twice and walk right in. “Hi, Max,” I say in the most normal voice I can manage.
Nico is standing. He looks at me. He turns to Max and says, “Who the hell is this guy?”
Max looks surprised to see me. She says hi.
Nico turns to me. “Who the hell are you?” He takes a step in my direction.
“I’m Max’s friend,” I say, remembering to breathe.
Max stands up from her bed. “Listen, Nico. You need to go. Now.” Her voice is stronger than it was before.
Nico looks at me and looks back at her. He moves right in front of me, clearly trying to intimidate me. “If you’re really Max’s friend, you’ll leave right now.”
Max pushes herself in between us, facing him. “Nico. Don’t. If you don’t leave now, I’ll call the nurse.”
Nico fires back, “And what’s the nurse going to do?”
Max doesn’t move or say anything else. She just stares right into his eyes.
He finally steps back and grabs his jacket from the chair next to the bed. He shakes his head in disgust. Max stands her ground. I do too. He mutters something rude as he leaves.
Max climbs back onto the bed. She has tears in her eyes, so I pass her the tissues from the bedside table. She says that she’s sorry about what just happened. Then I surprise myself by crawling up beside her and giving her a hug. She leans into me. I ask her how she’s doing and she just shrugs.
“Do you want some chocolate?” I ask, breaking out the bag of goodies.
Max lets a laugh escape and says, “I so need this.”
She has big dark purple rings under her eyes. I’m sure she still has a ton of things to work through. I’m hopeful that the staff here will hook her up with the right kind of help. I plan on supporting her in whatever way I can.
“So how’s the food here?” I ask.
“The meat is too salty and everything else is bland. You’d think at a hospital the food would be healthier.”
“And they serve a lot of jello, right?”
“Yeah. But I really like jello.”
“Me too — especially purple.”
“I broke up with him — Nico.” Max has a satisfied look on her face.
“For what it’s worth, I think you can do better.” Then I search my brain for something else to say. I remember her telling Joyce about her dog.
“Your dog — what kind is it?”
“Sheriff? He’s a pug.” She shows me pictures on her phone of her and her sister horsing around with Sheriff. Max’s mood lightens a bit. Then her eyes widen like she’s just remembered something. “What happened with your phone?”
I give her all the details about using Reddit to find Rob and Dennis’s apartment, and the fight, and the stabbing and police. She shakes her head when she hears that the whole thing was over a race issue. “That’s really messed that he pulled a knife on you. Are you okay?”
I nod. “When that happened, I thought that I might actually die. Funny thing was, it was exactly in that moment that I knew I didn’t want to. It wasn’t like my life was any better than when I was thinking about killing myself, but when it was there, right in my face, I knew I didn’t want that.”
Max puts her hand on mine. “Do your parents know what happened?”
I say, “The police called them. They’re the craziest part of this whole thing. They didn’t freak out, Max. They always freak out. But instead, my dad took us out to eat.” Max smiles. “You know, the only times we’ve ever eaten in a restaurant were when we’ve had visitors from out of town. My family had never eaten out together before today, ever.”
Max leans her head on my shoulder, like the time in the waiting room. I ask her how she’s doing. She says that she feels a whole lot better than she did even an hour ago.
We keep talking. It’s like we’ve known each other for ages. After a while, I check my new phone and two hours have passed since I got here. I give in to the nagging feeling I have — I need to get home. I tell Max that I don’t like the idea of leaving her alone. She says, “I’m probably going home tomorrow. We should hang out.” She puts her hand on my cheek, smiles and thanks me for coming to see her.
As I pedal quickly toward home, I think that I should have been the one to thank Max. It felt really good to talk to her. It was like eating a really good meal when you’re starving, or stepping into a warm room full of light when you’ve been outside in the dark dead of winter.
I wonder if my parents have started to worry yet. What will their mood be when I get there? I don’t know what to expect from them anymore. What would they do if they knew about my plans for the night on the bridge? How would they react if they found out that I spend hours and hours down at the beach in the middle of the night because I can’t sleep? Before today, I would never have thought to talk to anyone about these things. Especially not my parents. But now I’m not ruling it out. I won’t just start spilling everything to them all at once. But at least now, it’s not that I can’t. Or maybe I’ll try talking to Joyce first. And now I know that Max will be around too. Suddenly I feel tired. I’m looking forward to getting to bed and getting some sleep tonight.