The places where indi readers were hooking up sure were out there: pool tables, parents’ beds, even a department-store change room. I filed the email replies to my call-out in a folder on my computer, reminded once again that I was the last virgin on earth. (Well, except for my great-aunt Bertie, a wrinkly old woman who’d never married and farted while she knitted in her rocking chair — surely she’d never got it on with anyone?)
I giggled as I read an email from a young woman who left her half-naked boyfriend stranded at a party when she realised she was too nervous to go through with it.
Luckily, the reader had a great boyfriend who understood it was a big deal and they agreed to wait, but the final line in her story rang on repeat in my mind: How do you know if you’re ready yet? She was asking the wrong girl. That same question had been bugging me and I still didn’t know the answer. Thankfully James was being super cool about it. Sometimes I wondered what I’d done in a former life to score such an awesome boyfriend. He’d even sent me a cute text that morning to let me know he was thinking of me. No surprises: I’d been thinking of him too.
Liani cleared her throat. ‘Hey, can I grab everyone for a meeting?’
‘Now?’ I said, thinking about all the emails I still had to sift through.
‘Bring your bags — we’re going for a short walk.’
Harrison, Sia and I swapped looks as we followed Liani out the door. She and Harrison set a cracking pace, with Sia and me huffing along behind.
‘C’mon, slowpokes,’ Harrison said. Clearly his daily cardio sessions at the gym were paying off.
‘What’s the rush?’ I whispered to Sia.
‘I haven’t seen her this excited for ages,’ she replied. She stopped for a moment to catch her breath, but Liani kept charging ahead. ‘Hold up, Liani!’ she called.
Liani turned and rushed back to us. ‘Sorry, girls. We’re nearly there.’
Sia frowned. ‘As in, around the corner or another fifteen minutes to go?’
Liani linked arms with her for a few metres or so. ‘As in … we’re here!’
I didn’t know what we were meant to be looking at. The surrounding buildings weren’t spectacular; there was a kebab shop nearby with flashing neon lighting, and a spruiker trying to sell cheap shoes across the road. But Liani was about to prove that looks can be deceiving.
‘Follow me,’ she said, leading us into a dull brown building and up a stairwell.
‘Couldn’t you have chosen somewhere with a lift?’ whined Sia, wiping sweat from her cheek.
‘It’s broken, but will be fixed soon,’ Liani said. ‘Nearly there, I promise.’
We hauled ourselves up three flights of stairs and at the top came to a large grey door.
‘Do we go in there?’ I asked.
‘We do,’ Liani announced, barely containing her excitement. ‘Here’s the key, open it.’
I did as she said, turned the handle and gasped. Behind the door was the largest renovated warehouse space I’d ever seen. Light radiated through the floor-to-ceiling windows, and the room was filled with exquisite white furniture and large framed mirrors. There were a number of large, closed doors nestled in the walls and I couldn’t help fantasising about what mysteries lay behind each of them.
Harrison was looking at himself in the enormous mirrors, and Sia had propped herself up against the pretty pink cushions piled on the couch nearby. I sat down next to her, but before I could sink back into the softness, Liani called out, ‘Over here!’
She waved to us from the other end of the warehouse, where she stood on a small stage surrounded by white chairs. I helped Sia up from the couch — it was so soft it had swallowed her butt whole, she whispered — and we headed over to Liani and took a seat.
‘We’re not lugging these chairs anywhere, are we?’ Sia piped up.
‘Humour me for a second,’ said Liani. ‘Imagine it’s early evening, flowers cover every table, tea lights fill the room …’ I stifled a giggle at her singsong, storytelling voice. ‘There are laughing, chatting people everywhere — familiar faces from magazines, radio, film, music, sport, politics … This is the perfect setting for a —’
‘Surprise wedding?’ Harrison joked.
‘Quiet, Harrison,’ Liani said. ‘I called in some favours — alright, a lot of favours — and am thrilled to say we’ll be throwing our launch party here next week!’
‘Do you think we’ll have enough guests to fill this space? We’re kinda nobodies,’ Sia blurted out. ‘Wait, that came out wrong. Baby-brain!’
‘Sia, I thought you credited yourself as a scene-stealer,’ said Liani. ‘If we’re doing this launch — which we are — then we’re doing it right. An incredible venue like this makes a statement. It lets everyone know we’ve arrived and we’re going to make a real difference in people’s — especially young women’s — lives. They need indi. They need us. They need you. You’re all role models now.’
‘Even me?’ I asked, wondering if there was an awesome group of girls with serious role-model credentials sitting behind me.
‘Yes, Josie, you too,’ said Liani. ‘Mya and I have a clear vision for indi and it’s up to us to deliver it to the country — hell, to the world!’
Sia’s eyes had glazed over and I couldn’t tell if she was overwhelmed with excitement, falling asleep or holding in one of her aforementioned farts. Maybe all three.
‘I’m going to lie back on the couch for a while,’ she murmured.
‘Would you go home already?’ Liani said.
Sia shook her head, paused, then nodded. After an overly emotional apology, and a quick kiss on the cheek for each of us, she was out the door.
‘This all sounds amazing,’ I said, trying to make up for Sia’s less-than-ideal reaction. (Besides, the straight-A student/goodie-two-shoes/ego-stroking side of me was flattered by Liani’s spiel about me being a role model.)
‘I’m glad you think so,’ said Liani. ‘We’ll be the talk of the town!’
She walked down the steps from the stage and pulled a chair over to a nearby table, rummaged in her handbag and pulled out notebooks, pens, textas and Post-it notes.
‘What, no butcher’s paper?’ Harrison asked, winking.
Liani rolled her eyes. ‘Alright, so I want to pick your brains about how we can design the room on the night, then we’ll move on to catering and entertainment. This needs to be a party people talk about for years.’
Two hours later, with the Launch Brainstorm Session To End All Launch Brainstorm Sessions completed, I had a to-do list that rivalled War and Peace (translation: freaking long). Back at the office, the afternoon flew past in a whirl of emails, calls and voicemails. With still no word from Darlene about Maxxy, Liani had asked me to secure a girl rock act called The Blue Dames as a back-up, although none of us were that excited by them. Sure, they could sing, but they didn’t have the same media pull as Maxxy. I felt like I’d let Liani and the indi team down.
The only consolation was knowing I’d be home with Mum, Kat and James in a few hours. Mum had sent me an excited text earlier that day: One more sleep to go! It had taken every shred of my willpower not to reveal that James and I would be home that night instead.
Steph sat on my bed, watching as I filled a suitcase with beauty products and books.
‘That’s a lot of stuff for a weekend,’ she said. ‘You’re not moving out, are you?’
‘Kat puts in her orders for the freebies I get at work,’ I explained, stuffing a pair of strappy sandals and my toiletries bag into the suitcase. ‘Go on, help yourself from that box in the corner.’
‘Is that a CC cream?’ Steph squealed.
‘You’re as bad as Kat. Take it.’
‘Uh, yeah!’ Steph snatched it from the box. ‘This is amazing and, like, the only brand that doesn’t test on animals. And I totally can’t afford beauty products right now …’
‘Well, it’s yours.’
‘You rock my frock,’ she said, giving me a hug. ‘Man, I am pumped for this road trip — it’s going to be epic! The perfect distraction. I heard from Alex — he’s on the way over with the car. Where’s James? I thought he was getting here an hour ago? If we leave in the next ten we can drop you at your mum’s by eight.’
I paused, unsure how to tell Steph that I hadn’t heard from James since that first text of the day. Normally that wouldn’t have been a problem, but today was different. He was meeting my family. Part of me couldn’t help thinking it had something to do with my freak-out the previous night. Maybe James had replayed what’d happened and changed his mind about wanting to be with me. He’d been so patient, but perhaps he’d grown sick of waiting. Why else would he go MIA the day after we’d fizzled between the sheets?
‘Um, I’m not sure if James is going to make it,’ I said.
‘Yeah? Why not? Better offer, eh?’ She giggled, elbowing me in the side.
‘Maybe,’ I said, zipping up my suitcase and fighting back the tears stinging my eyes and threatening to slide down my cheeks.
‘Oh, you’re serious,’ she said. ‘What’s happened? If he’s running late we can wait. There’s no rush.’
‘He’s not answering his phone and I don’t know what to do. I know he was hanging with his music mates today, but I don’t have any of their numbers.’
‘Maybe he’s caught in traffic,’ Steph said. ‘Although that’ll make leaving the city a real bitch for us too.’
‘He could call then … Why isn’t he calling me back? I think he’s pissed off with me. Urgh, let’s give it a few minutes, okay? At least until Alex gets here.’
I flopped backwards on the bed and glared at my phone, willing it to ring or beep with a new message. Something to show I hadn’t been abandoned, or he wasn’t lying in a gutter somewhere.
Suddenly the phone burst into life.
‘James? Where are you?’ I could hear people cheering in the background.
He sounded slurry, not like himself at all. ‘Imma sooo silly, baby … Can you get me water for the trip tomorrow?’
‘James, we’re leaving now, tonight, remember? Where are you?’
‘The water, I need the water … Hey, a poodle!’ He erupted into giggles. ‘Can we get a poodle tomorrow at your mum’s?’
‘No, it’s tonight. We’re leaving right now —’
‘I wanna name the poodle “Josie” after the most beautiful girl I ever —’ The phone cut out.
‘He hung up on me,’ I told Steph, ‘and I’m pretty sure he’s wasted. Oh, and apparently he wants to name a poodle after me.’
I could tell she was trying not to laugh at the last part.
I called James back, only this time it went to voicemail. I tried once more. Nothing. The minutes dragged on, each more stubborn than the next, until Steph got the call to say Alex was downstairs.
‘J, we can wait,’ she said. ‘If you two have had a fight then, honestly, sort it out first —’
‘No, it’s fine,’ I said, pulling myself off the bed and collecting my suitcase. ‘This has been planned for ages. Besides, he’s ignoring my calls and … I don’t want him to meet my family like this. I never thought I’d say it, but I think we should leave without him.’
‘Really?’
‘Yeah, I want to surprise my family. I’m going to need a freaking good excuse for why he’s bailed though,’ I added. ‘Kat already thinks I have an imaginary boyfriend.’
‘Maybe he can meet you there tomorrow?’
Maybe.
James and I technically hadn’t fought, but something told me the next time we spoke, that would all change. Our first fight was brewing and I got the feeling it was going to be a corker. Perfect James suddenly didn’t seem so perfect after all.
Steph fell asleep in the front passenger seat fifteen minutes into the car trip. Her head lolled from side to side, until she slumped backwards and let out an almighty snore. So much for our epic road trip going down in history.
Alex, who was driving, barely flinched. ‘That may be her new record for staying awake,’ he said, fiddling with the rear-view mirror. ‘Last time she was out in six minutes.’
‘Hopeless,’ I said from the back seat, suddenly feeling as though Alex was chauffeuring me. ‘I thought she wanted to make this road trip a party.’
‘I think she peaked last night. What did you guys get up to? Take those rubber ducks out for another spin?’
I stiffened. ‘Very funny.’
‘Who’s been pulling at your pigtails?’ He laughed, then turned up the radio. ‘Rock music cool with you?’
‘Sure, why not,’ I murmured. I didn’t like rock; it reminded me of my father.
A quick peep at my phone showed there was still no word from James. I wished I could debrief with Steph, but not even Alex’s singing (which sounded fantastic, though I wouldn’t tell him that) or the thumping beat of KISS could wake her. I played with the empty lolly wrappers in the car door pocket, ripping them into pieces until they were scraps the size of dots.
The raging bass line filled the silence in the car. I was happy to let it swell and throb around me, even though my eardrums were threatening to burst at any minute. When a power ballad started up, Alex scanned the stations. I picked at my fingernails, staring out the window.
‘You seem bored,’ Alex said. ‘I’ll make you a deal: you can pick the radio station if you can guess … my middle name. I’ll even give you a clue. It starts with —’
‘John.’
He grinned. ‘Whoa. How’d you know?’
I held up a black wallet. ‘Your licence is on the back seat.’
‘Well played, zygote, well played.’
‘So, John, huh?’
He shrugged. ‘Mum’s obsessed with Elton. No biggie.’
I laughed. ‘Well, that’s settled then — pop, please.’
Alex fiddled until he found a station blasting candy-sweet Top 40 goodness. ‘Your wish is my command.’
Steph woke up, bleary-eyed and muttering, ‘Turn this rubbish off.’ She slammed the volume down and squeezed her eyes closed tight again.
‘Sorry, Jose, outvoted,’ said Alex. He yawned and stretched his arms out in front of him one at a time, flexing his triceps.
I couldn’t tell if he was doing it deliberately or not. Either way, I noticed how toned his arms were. It was hard not to with him flaunting them like that.
‘Confession: I haven’t read any of your stuff yet,’ he said.
I felt a twinge of embarrassment. Alex didn’t need to know I’d already drooled over his enviable online writing portfolio. ‘You still want to do that?’
‘Well, yeah. You’re a writer. You need readers.’
‘Um, it’s probably not your thing.’
‘I get it. You’re scared. Writing’s like cutting out your heart and splattering it on the page.’
I reddened. ‘Well, I wouldn’t go that far … and I’m not scared.’
‘Hey, rejection isn’t easy — I know. An editor once told me he’d never publish me, not even if I paid him. I heard about one guy who kept all his rejection letters on spikes above his desk to motivate him. I’m thinking about doing the same.’
‘Stephen King, right?’ I couldn’t believe Alex had heard that story.
‘You know about that?’
‘Yeah, I love it. Getting rejected still hurts though.’
‘It’s brutal, but you gotta take the good with the bad. I’ve been rejected a ton of times,’ he said, ‘but I’ve also been to some islands in the South Pacific, America, parts of Asia, even South Africa for a week.’
‘I still can’t believe it’s for work.’
‘Yeah, you get flown somewhere to road test all the features. Like, say it’s a spa resort, you literally get paid to have spas for a week.’
‘Sounds like the life,’ I said, remembering the few hours I spent at the wellness event.
‘You wait,’ he said. ‘One day you’re fetching some diva’s mail; the next you’re going on a free trip and every other person in the office hates your guts. It’ll happen, and when it does, send me a postcard telling me I was right. Not that you’ll even care because you’ll be beach-side sipping on a raspberry cocktail.’
Before I had a chance to reply, Alex had pulled the car off the road near a patch of trees.
‘Bathroom break!’ he said.
‘What? We’re, like, five minutes from Mum’s place.’
Alex pointed at his tatts. ‘Yeah, and I bet your mum’ll want a guy like me barging into her house.’
I had to agree, although I was sure Kat wouldn’t mind.
‘It’s fine, I’ve got the roadie whiz down to a fine art,’ he went on.
‘Ew.’
‘Ew?’ he teased. ‘I either pee out there or in here.’
I shuddered and pointed outside. I watched Alex run down a grassy bank and walk up to a tree. He turned to give me a little wave. Embarrassed, I pulled out my phone and stared at the screen, scrolling and swiping to busy myself.
‘Get a good look?’ he asked when he got back in the car.
‘Nope, I, um, I can’t see that far without my glasses,’ I stammered. He didn’t need to know I had perfect vision.
‘Next stop, your mama’s,’ he said and shook Steph, who groaned. ‘Wake up, we’re nearly at Josie’s.’
‘What? But we just left,’ she murmured, yawning, then looking at her watch. ‘Is that the time? Shit, I totally flaked. I bet the car ride was stupid-boring without me.’
Alex caught my eye in the rear-view mirror. ‘We did alright.’
‘Yeah, it was, ah … Hey, slow down!’ I said, realising we’d turned onto my street. ‘It’s the house up here on the right … the one with the broken gate … Hang on, it’s fixed. Um, stop here, that’s fine, thanks.’
I’d been hassling Mum to get the gate fixed for months. She must be feeling better if she was attending to jobs like that. The lights were on and Mum’s car was in the front driveway — she was home for my surprise. I imagined the tears of joy that would run down her face when she opened the front door, and I wondered how many daughter brownie-points this would earn me. Hopefully, arriving boyfriend-free wouldn’t detract any. I still hadn’t thought of a good excuse for why James wasn’t with me.
‘Thanks for the lift, guys,’ I said, blowing kisses to a still-yawning Steph. I climbed out of the car, dragging my suitcase with me.
‘Anytime,’ Alex said, resting his arm along the window. ‘You need a lift home too?’
I swallowed at the sight of the naked woman woven into his sleeve tattoo. ‘I’ll get the train on Sunday … but thanks.’
‘Righto, have fun in your old playpen,’ he said and grinned. ‘Let’s get outta here, Smelly Socks!’
Before I had a chance to conjure a witty retort, the car sped off, leaving faint tyre marks on the road. I smiled all the way up the driveway, but within 3.9 seconds was feeling guilty for perving on Alex’s arms and wondering what he looked like with his shirt off.
I was about to send James a You’re hot text to appease my guilt when I remembered. I was mad at him. Furious, even. Tonight was about surprising Mum and Kat — it always was — and it was going to be some of my finest work. Not even James’s epic boyfriend fail could ruin this weekend for me.