16.

I sat on the bed in my suite, replying to a stream of emails from indi HQ. It had been a tough afternoon — if tough meant completely indulgent. I’d soaked in a bubble bath full of rose petals, fallen asleep on the enormous bed, then taken my time getting ready for the dinner later that night. The blue dress, slim silver belt, statement cuff and cream high heels from Sia’s list of outfit suggestions looked great, but I was racked with guilt. I’d ignored another text from James — How long are you going to give me the silent treatment? — because I didn’t know how to reply. Not yet. Not with a high-pressure dinner only minutes away.

Suck it up, I told myself, pushing down my nerves. Despite what Sia said, this wasn’t supposed to be fun — it was work. No one else was here to represent indi.

But before I threw myself back into the media crowd, I needed to hear a familiar voice. I punched Mum’s number into my phone, but it rang out and went to her voicemail. Moments later, a text came through: Sorry, love, at the movies with Rodgie. Call you later. Kisses! I tried not to shudder at the mention of Rodger.

Next up, Steph. I caught her in the middle of a shift at the café and could hear her boss screaming at her to hang up the phone. ‘Oops,’ she giggled. ‘Better run. You’re sooo coming back with a tan. Say hi to Alex from me!’

Last on my list was Kat.

‘Talk fast, sis,’ she said, as bossy as ever. ‘I’m hanging with Philippe so you’ve got the ad break to say what you need to say. How’s everything with James?’

‘Wait, who’s Philippe?’

‘You’re wasting time, Jose. Quick, that cute toilet paper ad is on and you know they always play it before the show starts again.’

I sighed. ‘Well, I’m up here on the north coast, and everything’s still crazy with James, and Alex is here, as well as this girl who —’

‘Alex?’ she said. ‘Is he hot? Tell him I said hi. Hey, did you know Mum wants to start reiki? Ah, man, the show’s back on, Jose. Call me in the next ad break, I want to hear the rest.’ She hung up.

I was about to draft an I miss you email to Angel when there was a knock on the door.

‘Josie?’ I heard Penny call. ‘You’re missing all the fun!’

A chorus of voices chimed in over her — it sounded like she’d collected half the media pack on her way.

‘One second!’ I cried out, slicking on a coating of lip gloss.

My phone beeped with a text from Kat: Sorry I couldn’t talk properly. Soon, I promise! xx

It was nice to see this softer side from my sister, but she’d have to wait. I popped the phone in my handbag and opened the door to greet Penny and a handful of journalists with a nervous smile plastered across my face.

‘Sorry, my editor rang,’ I lied.

Even I was impressed with my fib. The old me would have stammered something unbelievable like ‘Sorry, I’m an award-winning fashion designer and I was putting the final touches on this couture dress.’

‘Completely understand,’ Penny said. ‘Follow me, girls — we have a big night ahead!’

I clip-clopped along, listening to Penny chatter about the resort and the special appearance by Maxxy that night. It was the reminder I needed to stay on my A-game.

Penny led us up a large staircase and into an extravagant dining hall. There was a two-metre-tall chocolate fountain in the corner (‘For decorative purposes only,’ said Penny, which sounded like torture to me), a buffet of healthy food (steamed vegetables as far as the eye could see), and waiters in white tuxedos nodding, bowing and taking orders from the resort’s clientele.

We walked through the resaurant and entered a private, more intimate area that had been set up especially for us. Vases of pink blooms and candles dotted every table, giving the room a soft, romantic look. I noticed Edwina sitting on the other side of the room.

Oblivious to the dramatics earlier this afternoon, Penny sat me across from Alex, fussing as she placed a serviette on my lap. Once she’d trotted off, I looked at the people either side of me. One of them was Paulina, who said hi, and the other was a girl I didn’t know, whose name was Jade. I introduced myself and asked what she did.

‘Beauty freelancing.’ Her mouth was pursed so tight she barely moved her lips.

‘That sounds interesting,’ I said, trying my best to schmooze.

‘It is,’ she said, and returned to chasing her food around the plate with her fork.

I took a bite of the entrée: a lone scallop perched on a bed of wilted spinach. It tasted fresh and light, a far cry from the greasy noodles and cheap takeaway to which my palate had grown accustomed.

Alex kicked my foot under the table.

‘Ow!’ I cried out.

He grinned.

‘What are you doing?’ I whispered.

‘I’m bored … and how insane is everyone here?’

‘Just shhhhh,’ I hissed, conscious that Edwina or her friends might be looking over or listening.

‘Is he bothering you again?’ asked Paulina, shooting Alex a dirty look.

I swallowed. ‘No, we were talking about … um …’

‘Palm trees, we were talking about palm trees,’ said Alex, trying not to laugh at his own ridiculousness.

I wished I could wipe the silly smirk off his face with my serviette.

‘Palm trees?’ Paulina repeated. ‘What about them?’

Alex shrugged. ‘You know … there’s heaps of them here … and they’re so tall … and green.’

‘I don’t get it,’ she huffed. ‘You’re even stranger than I thought.’

‘Thank you,’ he said as Paulina rolled her eyes.

‘Everyone, may I have your attention please,’ Penny announced into a microphone. ‘As promised, we’ve arranged for a very special guest to perform for you this evening. This will be a regular part of the Lavish experience — entertainers who live and breathe the same healthy living values as our guests.’

‘How’s this for a healthy living value?’ whispered Alex, offering me a jelly snake. ‘Called in a favour.’

‘Put that away.’

‘Your loss,’ he said, chomping into the lolly.

‘I’m thrilled to announce our first guest,’ said Penny. ‘The unbelievable, chart-topping superstar … Maxxy!’

Everyone clapped as two girls with long wavy hair walked into the room, each with an acoustic guitar over her shoulder. They perched on a pair of stools, their tiny frames smaller than their guitars.

Maxxy cleared her throat. ‘Hey, everyone. I’m Maxxy, and this is my good friend Mirabella, who’ll be joining me on guitar and backing vocals.’

Edwina caught my eye and gave me a thumbs up.

I nodded, nerves bubbling in my belly.

‘Let’s get straight into it,’ Maxxy said. ‘Here’s a song I wrote about feeling out of place from time to time — it’s called “Square Peg”.’

She began singing and I was instantly swept away by the soft huskiness of her voice.

‘You love this poppy, folky rubbish, don’t you?’ whispered Alex from across the table.

I glared at him. ‘Can you be quiet for, like, one second?’

Alex mightn’t have cared whether he made a good impression, or if he got a great story, but I did. I was a newbie, and I didn’t want to get booted to the loser corner. But he was right about the music: I did love it.

I turned to tell him that, but he’d left his seat. I glanced around, but he wasn’t at the bar, or headed for the bathroom, or even irritating Edwina over at her table. And then I spotted him chatting with Penny in the corner. What was he up to?

I wasn’t the only curious one: I saw Edwina staring at him. For two people who’d dated, they were total opposites. She was so prim and polished, while Alex was cool and laidback with an attitude that screamed ‘You only live once’. It wouldn’t have surprised me if he had those words tattooed on his body somewhere.

Paulina tapped me on the shoulder, snapping me out of my nosy thoughts, and I spun around, nervous that she might ask me something about Alex.

‘Ah, hi,’ I said. ‘Having a good time? We’re having a great time. Wait … did I say we? I meant I’m having a good time. Just me. Not Alex and me. Not that you asked that … or mentioned him … or that we spend that much time together! Well, we did one road trip, and he has come to my place … not to see me. He’s friends with my housemate, although he saw me, of course, when he was there, he’s not blind … obviously.’

Okay, definitely nervous. But I needn’t have worried.

‘Can you pass the sparkling water, Joey?’ she said.

I’d spent hours with this woman and she still didn’t know my name? Even worse, she thought it was Joey.

Jade leaned over. ‘That’s your name? Like the kangaroo? Cute.’

‘Er …’ I said, passing Paulina the bottle, ‘it’s actually Josie.’

Paulina sipped her water. ‘That’s not what it says on the seating chart by the bar.’

Great. For a second I contemplated running with the name. Joey Browning sounded fun — like the type of girl who’d cliff jump, dye her hair orange and ride a Segway, just ’cos it was a Tuesday.

Maybe Joey could be my fresh start. Maybe she could be my future.

Or maybe not. Orange wasn’t really my colour.

I stared at my empty plate, listening to the shallow small talk around me. One girl was complaining that her portion sizes were too small, another that hers were too big. A girl behind me was whining because their last junket resort had two spa baths in each room, not just one, while another was bitching about her friend who got her boobs done in Thailand. The kicker was the girl whinging about the downsides of all the extravagant freebies: ‘You mean I’ll have to skip my sleep-in if I want to go for a ride in the hot-air balloon? Forget it.’ Boo freaking hoo.

It could have been the fact these girls were the most stuck-up people I’d ever shared breathing space with, or maybe my blood sugar was running low from the lack of sweet treats, but I had the urge to smear the butter that sat untouched on our table all over Paulina’s face. And Jade’s. And every other person there who looked at me like I was a piece of dog poo on the bottom of their overpriced patent leather heels.

‘Excuse me,’ I said, walking away to the bar. No one so much as glanced at me.

I was ordering a lemon squash — well, a mineral water with fresh lemon as they didn’t serve real soft drinks — when I noticed the chalkboard seating chart. There it was in perfect cursive lettering: Joey Browning. It was official: Josie Browning really was a nobody.

Alex’s gravelly voice suddenly filled the room, snapping me and the rest of the guests to attention. While I’d been daydreaming, he had taken a seat on stage with the girls, Maxxy’s guitar now slung over his shoulder.

‘Hey there, I’m Alex,’ he said, running his hand through his shaggy hair. ‘My new friend Maxxy here has kindly agreed to let me play with her tonight for a laugh, so, ah, let’s kick things up a notch.’

He launched into a song and, unbelievably, both girls did backing vocals for him. He was blissed out, eyes closed, and for a second I forgot this was the same pot-stirring journo who didn’t seem to care about anything.

‘What the …’ I muttered, noticing Edwina mouthing something similar.

Here I was stressing about how to get close to Maxxy, and Alex had just strolled right up and charmed his way into performing with her. Plus, not only was he wearing the brooding musician stamp well, but it turned out he could be authentic when he wanted to be. I could see how Edwina — and apparently every other glassy-eyed girl in the room — might fall for him, despite his ability to frustrate anyone with a pulse.

When Alex finished, everyone clapped — except Edwina, who sipped her drink with a sour expression on her face. Maxxy and Mirabella even planted a kiss on Alex’s cheek. He made schmoozing look as easy as tying his shoelaces.

‘Thanks for that little surprise, Alex!’ Penny said, fanning herself with a piece of paper. ‘We’re going to take a short break, but don’t worry, Maxxy and Mirabella will be back with more soon. Now, enjoy your mains — I’m hearing good things about the fish!’

Everyone clapped, then returned to redoing their lipstick, giggling and competing with one another about the next amazing event they’d been invited to. Everyone except me. I was too busy scribbling out ‘Joey Browning’ on the chalkboard.

I stood up from the bar, ready to return to my seat for dinner, but was interrupted by a throaty chuckle. ‘Alone at a bar again? Should I be worried?’

I turned to see Alex behind me. But this time, he wasn’t flying solo. Maxxy stood next to him.

‘Ah, hi,’ I said, relieved I didn’t splutter my drink over her in shock.

‘Is that lemon squash?’ Maxxy asked, taking the stool next to me. ‘I’ll grab one too, thanks,’ she said to the barman.

‘You’re Maxxy,’ I blurted out.

Oops. She knew she was Maxxy, Alex knew she was Maxxy, the slice of lemon in my drink knew she was Maxxy. But my faux pas didn’t seem to bother her.

‘That I am,’ she said, then lowered her voice to a whisper. ‘My real name’s Miriam, but don’t tell anyone.’

‘Oh my … you told me a secret,’ I said, wondering how to turn on the filter that would stop me saying every thought out loud. ‘I swear I won’t tell anyone. I’m Josie.’

‘It’s not really Miriam, is it?’ asked Alex, as blunt as ever. ‘Sounds like an overweight mum who helps out at the school canteen.’

‘That reaction is why my manager changed it. Never bothered me though.’ Maxxy shrugged. ‘Anyway, you sounded great up there, Alex, but next time give a girl some warning!’ She clipped him lightly around the ear like they’d been mates forever. ‘We could have worked you into the set even more. The other journos seemed to love it, you ladies’ man, you.’

I couldn’t believe it. Despite her rude manager, Maxxy was cool, nice and funny. Not only did I want to invite her to the launch, I kind of wanted to be her new best friend too. Although Alex seemed to have muscled his way into that role with ease.

I cleared my throat and attempted to channel Sia’s charisma or Liani’s warmth. ‘Maxxy, I wanted to ask you something,’ I began.

‘Yeah, anything. Oh, except what inspires me. If I have to answer that question again, my eyes might roll right out of my head.’

I laughed. And then got nervous to the point where my tongue may as well have been made of jelly. ‘No, I was actually wondering … well, there’s this thing … an event-type thing … where there’ll be people … yep, lots of those … and um, food, of course, and drinks,’ I rambled, gesturing to my lemon squash and trying to ignore Alex’s WTF expression. ‘Well, I was wondering, hoping even, to the point of desperation, in fact, if … um …’

‘Yes?’ Maxxy probed.

‘If … if …’ I noticed Edwina was standing mere metres away at the bar and my last drop of bravery vanished. My throat went dry. ‘If … if … if you … You know what, never mind.’

I felt like firing myself from indi on the spot and sending myself home. Some people conducted open-heart surgery; others sent criminals to jail, fought fires, or researched cures for cancer. All I’d had to do was ask a question and I’d chickened out.

I tried again, fighting through the nerves. ‘Actually, I did want to talk to you about the event-type thing … It’s a launch for our online magazine, indi …’

‘indi? What’s it about?’ asked Maxxy, who was scrunching up her nose as she sipped on her faux lemon squash.

‘I can show you on my phone,’ I said, but Alex had already opened up the indi website on his iPad and passed it over to her.

‘Steph sent me the link so I have it bookmarked now,’ he said, winking at me.

‘Er, thanks,’ I stammered, trying to stay on point and not freak out that he’d finally read my writing. ‘Um, so our website’s packed with great stuff for young women. Fun stuff, inspiring stuff, informative stuff …’ Stop saying ‘stuff’, woman. I cleared my throat to refocus. ‘Anyway, we’re celebrating our official launch with a red-carpet event. It’ll be pretty swanky, I think, and we’d love you to be there.’

‘Oh! Well, the site looks beautiful,’ Maxxy said, still scrolling on Alex’s iPad. ‘When’s the launch?’

My stomach tightened with anticipation. ‘Um … I know it’s last minute, but it’s this Saturday and we’d actually love you to perform as our special guest.’

‘Tight turnaround … but I’m vibing on the feel of your website. Confirm with my manager, yeah? You’d have her details, right?’

I did. Not that they’d come in handy.

But before I could explain, Edwina appeared next to us.

‘Hi guys, how are we?’ she said, in the most cheerful voice I’d ever heard from her.

I saw Alex roll his eyes, but miraculously he held his tongue.

‘Maxxy, you were a true goddess up there,’ Edwina gushed, turning her back on Alex. ‘Jose, I’m going to steal away this little superstar for a second. We’ll be right back, I promise. Business calls — you know how it is.’

Before I could reply, she’d whisked Maxxy away.

I sighed. ‘She’s like a hurricane in heels — and she knows how important this is to me. Look at her over there, chatting up Maxxy. Have I blown it? I think I’ve blown it.’

‘Maybe, maybe not.’ He shrugged. ‘Maxxy sounded into it. Edwina’s probably just doing her usual sucking-up routine. Look, she and Paulina are prepping their duck-face poses for a selfie with Maxxy — check out the puffed-up lips.’

I had to laugh. ‘You’re right. Darlene’s been playing hard to get, but now Maxxy’s keen, it’s gotta be a sure thing! I can’t believe I pulled it off.’

‘Yeah, you did! Now, let’s celebrate. Penny mentioned something about fish for dinner, so hopefully it’s deep-fried.’

‘In our dreams,’ I said, and took a final peek at Edwina and Maxxy, who were swapping stories as though they were the closest friends in the world. I still had a lot to learn about charming people.

As Alex and I approached our table, I could see Jade and a few of the other girls in a huddle as they picked at their dinners.

‘She looks so out of place,’ Jade said, as the others tittered. ‘I want to pat her on the head every time she opens her mouth and say, “Oh honey, no, just no.” And how about those big, baggy dresses she’s always wearing? Call me snarky, but she doesn’t belong here.’

Another girl who I hadn’t met nodded. ‘How did she even score an invite? indi’s a start-up with a shitty budget, so she’s no one special, unless you think being Edwina’s latest plaything is something special.’

I froze. They were talking about me.

Worse. They were ripping me to shreds.

I spun on my heel and fled from the restaurant.