The final of Britain’s Got Talent was finally here – on 30 May 2009 – and tensions were running about as high as they could get. Susan had seemed like a shoe-in at first, but just recently doubts had been raised as to whether she would make it through – not that it mattered much. Susan’s musical career looked guaranteed, whatever happened on stage that night. Even so, she wanted to win, and the goodwill towards her remained palpable: the country wanted her to win, too.
The nation’s television sets switched on and the contest began. As the show started, they repeated clips of the earlier stages of the proceedings, and another interview with Susan, resplendent in a neat yellow blouse.
‘When I first applied to Britain’s Got Talent, I never really realized I’d be sitting here, in the final,’ she said. ‘If I win this people will see I’m not the person who’s just living at home with just the cat. They’ll see a new person, a new Susan Boyle, a Susan Boyle the singer. Through this I can walk down the street and be proud of who I am.’
Piers came up on the screen. ‘Susan Boyle has gone from being a totally anonymous spinster from a Scottish village to one of the most famous women on the planet in several weeks,’ he said as an array of international papers, all with headlines about Susan, flashed up on the screen. ‘That brings with it massive pressure.’
Back to Susan: ‘The pressure put on me this week has been overwhelming,’ she said. ‘But I’ve got to learn to put that aside.’ They were brave words, but it was easier said than done.
Now it was Simon’s turn. ‘For anybody, this is intense. Huge, huge, huge pressure,’ he said. ‘And now she’s got to sing.’
Back to Susan. ‘It’s the most important night of my life tonight,’ she said. ‘When I step on that stage, it will be the accumulation of forty years of dreaming. A life-long ambition.’
And so it was time for the performance. Ant and Dec introduced her and there she was again, dressed in a long, silvery blue gown, singing ‘I Dreamed A Dream’ once more. Susan’s performance was as powerful and assured as before, but her expression was different. There was a more troubled dimension to it than there had been in the past. Susan had had a rotten week enduring a public backlash that had left her feeling vulnerable. For all the brilliance of her performance – and no matter how miserable she might have been feeling, nothing could stifle the beauty of her voice – you could see that all was not well in the world of Susan Boyle.
Despite her troubles, the audience loved it. There were screams and applause, and the three judges all leapt to their feet, cheering and whooping. Susan smiled, though whether it was with relief or genuine enjoyment, it was impossible to tell, then Ant and Dec bounded on stage like frolicsome little puppies, determined to cheer up the diminutive singer with the magnificent voice.
‘Well done, Susan,’ said Ant. ‘Fantastic reaction, all of the judges on their feet. How was that for you? You’ve had a lot of pressure on you this week, but you went out there and performed and it seemed like you really enjoyed that.’
‘I want to thank the people for all the support they’ve given me,’ said Susan, who appeared to be a little more nervous than on previous occasions, ‘especially the people at home, the people in the audience – everybody. I’d like to thank you for all your support.’
Her comment was greeted by a round of applause.
‘It’s been a week full of pressure for all the acts here tonight, none more so than you,’ began Dec. ‘Was that worth it, in front of everybody here?’
‘Well worth it!’ cried Susan emphatically.
‘That’s where you really feel at home, on stage?’ asked Dec.
‘Of course I do. I’m among friends, am I not?’ asked Susan, getting the audience cheering once more.
‘Of course you are, and let’s go to the judges and find out,’ said Ant. ‘Piers, what did you think of Susan’s performance?’
‘Wow,’ said Piers. ‘Susan, you’ve had a very difficult week – you’ve had an amazing seven weeks, but you’ve had a very difficult week where you’ve been the centre of the world’s attention. There’s been negative headlines, you’ve been “boiling over”, “cracking up”, going to “quit the show”, all this kind of thing, and quietly, what I kept thinking to myself was, All you have to do to answer all your critics is to walk down that stage to that microphone, sing the song that we all fell in love with, sing it better than you did last time – and Susan, I’m not supposed to favour anyone in this competition as a judge, I should be impartial, but you know what? Forget it. That to me was the greatest performance I’ve seen in Britain’s Got Talent’s history. You should win this competition. I loved it.’
The audience was cheering again: they clearly agreed. Susan looked gracious up on the stage, and while Piers clearly meant it, it was the least he could say. After all, he had, inadvertently, been responsible for causing some of the distress she’d experienced that week. A very public avowal of loyalty from Piers was exactly what Susan needed at that stage.
Now it was Amanda’s turn. ‘Susan, I have never heard such powerful, confident vocals,’ she began. ‘You sang it so well this evening and I just echo what Piers said, really. You, out of everybody this week, have been under an enormous amount of pressure, but you did it, girl. You did it for Scotland and you did it for Great Britain.’ There was more thunderous applause. ‘And can I just say,’ Amanda added, ‘Simon had a tear in his eye. And I’ve never seen that before.’
Finally, it was the turn of the maestro. Brushing aside questions from Ant as to whether Amanda’s comment was true, he said, ‘I don’t know who’s going to win this competition, but you know, you’ve had a weird seven weeks. You had every right to walk away from this, and you could have walked away. You could have had a lot of stuff coming your way in America, and a lot of people said you shouldn’t even be in this competition. That you’re not equipped to deal with it. For what? For you to sit at home with your cat and say, “I’ve missed an opportunity.” I completely disagree with that. Well, I do. And you know, win or lose, you have the guts to come back here tonight, face your critics and you beat them. And that’s the most important thing.’
In the background, the cheers started again.
‘Whatever happens, Susan,’ Simon continued, ‘and you know, I’ve got to know the real Susan Boyle, which is not the person I’ve seen portrayed in the media, who is a very nice, shy person who just wants a break, you can walk away from this, win or lose, with your head held high, Susan. I absolutely adore you.’
‘That makes me feel really good, thanks very much,’ said Susan, blowing a kiss as she left the stage.
Back in her hometown of Blackburn, the atmosphere was electric. Over a hundred locals had gathered in the Happy Valley to watch the show, and when Susan walked on stage, total silence descended. Throughout the village, almost everyone was glued to their TV screens, and when her performance ended, the place erupted. Susan was certainly a winner there.
Back in London, though, it was a different story. To everyone’s surprise and consternation, Susan didn’t win on the night – that honour went to the dance troupe Diversity. Susan remained gracious in defeat though: ‘They’re very entertaining,’ she said. ‘The best act won.’ But even so it was hard not to feel cheated. This modern-day Cinderella had been at the heart of a fairytale, and the nation expected a fairytale ending. They didn’t get one.
Everyone involved was shocked. ‘Susan was there at the top all along, but she was incredibly gracious,’ said Simon Cowell as the news sunk in. ‘She’s won a lot of people over and people have got to see the real Susan. She’s incredible.’
‘Can I just say on behalf of all of us that it was amazing to meet you,’ said Dec. Although he was far too professional to say so, it looked as if he thought they’d got the wrong result, too.
Despite losing the competition, there was no question that it would put a stop to Susan’s meteoric rise – matters had gone too far for that – but it did underline some real concerns. Susan had seemed certain to win, and the fact that she hadn’t was ascribed in some quarters to the negative publicity she’d received in the run-up to the show. People didn’t seem to understand that her erratic behaviour was a direct result of her learning difficulties, and just thought Susan was being temperamental. The majority may not have thought like that, but a vocal minority did, and it had damaged her chances. That was almost certainly the real reason she didn’t win.
And that led directly to the next question: with the weight of expectation lying heavy on her shoulders, how was she going to take it now that she’d lost? Was Susan going to go off the rails? As the judges had acknowledged, this had been a nerve-racking week for all the contestants, but especially Susan. There had never been a phenomenon like her before, and no one seemed certain quite what to do next. With the Britain’s Got Talent tour coming up, decisions had to be made, and the question on everyone’s lips was, would Susan be well enough to attend? She would be the biggest pull on the tour, but if she joined it would the producers be blamed for putting her under even more pressure when she was clearly unable to cope?
Susan herself could be forgiven for not taking it all in. Asked what she’d do next, she replied bravely, ‘I hope to get an album out and I’ll just play it by ear. What a journey. It was unbelievable and very humbling. Thank you for everything.’
Susan’s family and friends were becoming increasingly concerned, but at least she had the support of her friend Lorraine Campbell, who had been at school with Susan, and was staying in London with her, acting as a shoulder to cry on, as well as a much-needed rock. Having known Susan all her life, she was able to calm her down when she got too het up, and she also took Susan to Mass when she was feeling overwhelmed. Even so, it was becoming obvious that ultimately Susan was going to need professional help.
Susan still had a future, though, and a very profitable one at that. Estimates started flying around about how much money Susan would make out of it all, and while the amounts varied wildly, soaring up to £10 million, there was no doubt that she stood to earn more than the show’s £100,000 prize money. Her brother John certainly forecast great things: ‘The world will definitely hear from Susan Boyle again,’ he said. ‘The show is by no means over. Hopefully now she can relax a bit and just sing, which is all she ever wanted to do. The family are delighted and proud. She put on a tremendous show. Our parents will be looking down with big smiles on their faces.’
It didn’t take long for rumours to surface about what really happened the night Susan lost. Once backstage, there was what seemed like the beginning of a breakdown. Susan was said to have shouted, ‘I hate this show. I hate it,’ before allegedly running down the corridor in her bra and throwing a cup of water over a floor manager. Clearly no one had a clue what to do.
Susan’s brother Gerry said, ‘They just left her on her own. She has got a short fuse and she just blew. Who wouldn’t under that pressure? She’s told me, “I feel tired and stressed,” and that’s understandable.’
The production company played the whole thing down, merely admitting that Susan had had a few ‘wobbles’. In certain quarters there was bemusement. After all, though it was disappointing that she hadn’t won, she still had a career ahead of her, so why all the fuss? But that was to totally misunderstand the problems facing Susan. She had been part of a massive project, and now it had all come tumbling down and she found there were very few people to support her. There was talk of meeting with Simon Cowell the following week to discuss an album, but what Susan really needed was human comfort, and plenty of it.
Everyone knew that Susan had been deprived of oxygen at birth, but what they seemed reluctant to accept was that this behaviour was a direct result of that. As her neighbours in Blackburn had testified, she occasionally had fits of anger, even in a quiet Scottish village, far away from the stresses and strains of the showbusiness world, where Susan now found herself. She needed calm and compassion, strength and understanding, but instead she found herself surrounded by people who didn’t know how to handle or comfort her.
What they did know, though, was that she needed professional help, and so Susan was taken to a doctor, who told her she needed complete rest. This was played down by those around her, with her spokes-person merely commenting, ‘She has been seen by her private GP, who supports her decision to take a few days out for rest and recovery.’ She was going to need a lot more than that, though.
At least Diversity were doing the decent thing and wishing her well. ‘Susan was very gracious,’ said the leader of the troupe, Ashley Banjo. ‘She was really cool and so nice about it. She told us we were something special. Susan gave us big hugs and had a bit of a dance with us. There was a bit of poppin’ and lockin’. She’s a cool bird. Susan has become a superstar across the world, and to beat her is still a massive shock. We thought she was amazing on Saturday night, as always. She’s going to have a great career.’ It was hard to escape the conclusion that even they had mixed feelings about their win.
Matters escalated. No one would admit exactly what was going on behind the scenes, but it was known that Susan had been taken to The Priory clinic after fainting in front of production staff, and she was being treated there for exhaustion. Concern about what was happening to her had by now reached such a peak that there were suggestions that the makers of the show should face an inquiry. Britain’s Got Talent and Syco, Cowell’s entertainment company, were paying for her treatment, but continued to play the situation down: ‘We provided Susan with a counsellor in the last week, when it became evident to us in the run-up to the final that she needed support.’ That was putting it mildly.
Even Gordon Brown, the prime minister and a fellow Scot, found the need to comment on GMTV, ‘I hope Susan Boyle is OK, because she is a really, really nice person.’
This did, at least, allow the more negative element of the public to see that those public spats were not Susan behaving like a diva, but a cry for help. Intensive debate raged about the morality of taking a fragile woman out of a close-knit community and exposing her to the glare of the worldwide media.
The question about the Britain’s Got Talent tour had still not been resolved, and so Simon Cowell stepped in, saying, ‘She won’t be doing anything until she feels better.’ He must have been worried, too, in case the situation rebounded badly on him.
Irene Carter, the mother of one of the members of the dance troupe Sugar Free, had seen what was happening close up.
‘Susan was acting very strange all week,’ she told the Daily Express. ‘One time, staff working on the show backstage asked if she was OK and she said she was talking to her friend. She then introduced everyone in the room to this “friend”, who wasn’t actually there. Another time she came up to my daughter Emma in the hotel and asked to borrow her mobile phone. She left this really bizarre message, which went on for several minutes. When she got off the phone she said she had been talking to her cat back at home.’
This was the last thing the programme makers needed: Susan’s problems were beginning to look much worse than anyone had realized. The breast-beating in the press about whether she had been used as a pawn in a high-stakes commercial game continued, with fingers pointing at the amount of money various people stood to make out of this vulnerable woman.
Matters reached such a pitch that Talkback Thames, the company behind the programme, was forced to comment. ‘It is a talent show at the end of the day, and people are auditioning on their talent merits,’ said a spokeswoman. ‘There is no formal psychological testing at the beginning of the show. Compared with something like Big Brother, where you are looking at people going into a house for three months, the people on Britain’s Got Talent have three or four performances maximum and spend only seven to ten days in a hotel for the semi-finals and final. It is a very different scenario. But because of the level of media attention and the speed with which this has become a global phenomenon, we will be reviewing all of our policies in relation to psychological assessment.’
At least Susan was receiving proper treatment now. There had been reports that she had been sectioned, but that was not the case. She attended The Priory voluntarily by ambulance with, at her doctor’s request, a police escort. And she was beginning to calm down. Her brother Gerry spoke to her. ‘She’s at The Priory, talking to people there about how she feels and where she goes from here,’ he told the Guardian. ‘She sounded a bit happier, she sounded a bit more like herself, but certainly a bit more rested. She’s been on a tremendous roller-coaster. There’s been an enormous amount of media speculation and intense activity. She’s not used to that. She’s coming to terms with that, now that she’s no longer an anonymous face. I think what led up to it was the build-up to the show, and just psyching herself up for that, and then wondering after the show, “Where do I go now?”’
It was a question that still loomed large as matters remained in limbo. Susan recovered quite quickly, and with hindsight it’s apparent that it wasn’t a particularly serious episode. But at the time, no one knew how long she would be ill and what she would be able to manage in the immediate future. There was also the matter of the much-discussed album. Far from rushing something out in the immediate wake of the show, that would have to be more carefully paced.
The judges were trying to make the best of it. Both Piers and Amanda went on the record as saying that it was probably for the best that Susan didn’t win, because the pressure on her would have been so great that her health might have suffered. In fact, if she had won, it would have provided her with the validation she craved, but there was no use brooding about that now.
Another element that had been played down by all concerned for fairly obvious reasons is that on the night of the final, Susan had to put up with something else she hadn’t experienced before: booing. Piers apologized to her about it afterwards, and it was only a very small element of a large crowd, but to someone like Susan it must have been devastating.
To have had victory snatched away, then to hear the public, who had seemed to adore her, turning against her, must have totally undermined Susan’s confidence. She had been treated cruelly, if not by the show itself, then by some members of the audience. Susan had had to put up with cruelty all her life, but this time it must have been particularly hard to bear.
After a day or so, matters took a turn for the better. It seemed that what Susan had suffered was an anxiety attack – extremely unpleasant and worrying at the time, but not, ultimately, serious. In addition, Susan’s public was not deserting her. The president of the United States, Barack Obama, was said to want her to sing at celebrations for American Independence Day, and Susan was starting to fight back. ‘I’m tired and I’m a wee bit homesick,’ she was reported to have told her family. ‘But I really hope I can still live the dream.’
Susan’s brother Gerry, who was keeping a very close eye on events, told the Daily Record that Susan was fundamentally just homesick and missing Pebbles. And that the anxiety attack she’d experienced was just the fear that coming second would destroy her nascent career.
‘She was sort of, “Where’s it all going and what happens now?” Great things are made of the Royal Variety and plans for her career are still to be confirmed, but I asked her, “Seven weeks ago, if someone had told you that almost everyone in the world would know who you are, and you had a budding record contract and would never want for anything again, how would you have felt?” I told her, “This is not the end of your career – it’s the start.” This show has just been a launch pad. The world is waiting for Susan to release a record. I wonder how many established acts would love to have the opportunities she will have.’ Gerry was spot on, and that was exactly what his sister needed to hear.
Any latent hostility to Susan that had built up in the week before the final had all but disappeared by now, and it was accepted that the reason she didn’t respond normally to events, including the extraordinary circumstances she found herself in, was because she couldn’t. Set against that was the fact that she’d been given the chance of a lifetime. Although her family was concerned about her, they were delighted that their sibling was going to have a chance to shine, indeed, although this was not to be the last nervous episode Susan experienced, she was making progress fast.
The Britain’s Got Talent tour was about to kick off less than two weeks after the final, and was getting closer every day. Already, it was almost entirely sold out; indeed a further seven dates had been added due to popular demand. There was no doubt about why: the public wanted to see Susan. Whether she’d won or not, she was still the biggest draw. But no one had any idea whether or not she’d be strong enough to take part in the tour.
The whole thing was turning into a nightmare for the tour organizers, although everyone was adamant that Susan’s health was paramount. Gerry pointed out that the best cure for Susan was for her to see that she was in as much demand as ever. It was, after all, fear that her career would be taken away from her before it had even begun that had put her in this state.
Amanda was keen to point out that Susan was in The Priory because she was ‘knackered’ rather than suffering from any underlying health issues, and that she would soon be fit again. As for Susan, well, she wasn’t saying anything publicly. She just wanted to get well again.
Although Susan was temporarily off the scene, the circus surrounding her showed no sign of slowing down, and more and more opportunities for her to perform kept arising. Susan’s brother John revealed that Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber, no less, had been in touch, although his sister’s health meant that nothing more could be done about it yet.
Another offer of support came from an unexpected quarter – Elaine Paige. Elaine was the woman Susan had said she wanted to emulate, and she too had become famous almost overnight, after she starred in Evita. She quite clearly felt genuine concern for Susan.
‘I really want to meet her as soon as I can,’ she told the Daily Express. ‘I hope I might be able to visit Susan when she is feeling up to it as I have so much advice I want to give her. I want to tell her to stay away from everything for a while and everyone connected with that show. She really needs to go home, get her head down and keep quiet. That is the only way she is going to get herself sorted out. I feel I have some very useful things to say to her. I have plenty of advice that I could give her based on my own experience. It was difficult enough for me when I starred in Evita in 1978, but this lady is from West Lothian and the media hype these days is much worse than it was back then. These days people who become famous face a total onslaught and she has had a hundred times more of it than I did because of YouTube and globalization. It would be difficult for anyone to deal with.’
But the fact remained Susan didn’t want to have nothing to do with anyone on the show. Britain’s Got Talent had given her the opportunity of a lifetime, and what she wanted more than anything was to get back out there. The offers were coming in thick and fast, and she wanted to be able to accept at least some of them and get back out on the road. After all, Barack Obama and Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber were not names to be sniffed at.
In the end, Susan’s stay in The Priory lasted only a few days. There was yet more frenzied speculation about how she was being treated – one minute it was reported that her cat Pebbles would be brought in to surprise her, the next it was said that The Priory wouldn’t allow Pebbles to visit because it was against the rules. Whatever the rumours, Susan left looking and feeling considerably better. This would not be the end of her troubles, but this particular episode was over with.
After she left the Priory, Susan did the best possible thing: she flew back to Scotland, where she was reunited with Pebbles, her family and friends. It had been a tumultuous time, and Susan had paid a heavy price for establishing herself. She might have been having problems, but she was turning into a star, and that was what she really wanted.
Given Susan’s background and personal issues, it seems remarkable that matters didn’t turn out considerably worse. But Susan was far more resilient than she was being given credit for, and whatever issues she might have had, she knew an opportunity when she saw one. Her life had changed beyond all recognition, and while there might have been a downside, there was a seriously big upside to the life that lay ahead. Susan Boyle had been tried and tested, and now she was on her way.