It’s December at the Lakeview Sunrise Group Home for Boys and Girls. From the caged window next to our dormitory bunk bed, we can see the concrete courtyard covered with fresh snow.
But no one is thinking about Christmas or presents, sledding or huge turkeys in the oven. No one is even thinking about gathering mounds of snow into snowmen, and no one is thinking about igloos and forts.
Not here anyway.
Lakeview Sunrise Group Home for Boys and Girls is really just a long and lovely way of saying “orphanage.” And this orphanage is as filthy and overcrowded as anything Little Orphan Annie or Oliver Twist ever knew.
It’s nowhere near any lake or stream, unless you count the puddle of sewage overflow that visits the corner of Fifth Street and Roosevelt Avenue each spring.
And you couldn’t spot a sunrise from here unless you were standing on top of the boarded-up Hurkemeyer Department Store two blocks over. It’s the only way you can see over the other run-down gray and brown buildings.
We should know. We live here.
We are Hansen and Gracie. We are twins. And we hate it here.
We haven’t been here forever. That is, we’ve had other homes before. We don’t remember being born, obviously, because no one does.
We do remember several foster homes . . . here in the city, out in the country. But they blur together, so sometimes Gracie believes the family with the big yellow dog was the one who had tuna casserole every Friday, when in fact, Hansen insists, the big yellow dog was in the house with two dads. Gracie says none of the homes had two moms, and that’s where we couldn’t agree.
It was all so long ago. We’ve been in the orphanage—no matter what it reads on the sign outside, we usually call it the orphanage—for almost ten years.
Here’s the thing about being raised by the state: if foster home after foster home says there’s something strange about you, eventually the state stops trying to find you a home. They stop trying to find you a family.
And they put you in a place like this.
It’s on this early, cold winter morning that Gracie, always the one of us most likely to get in trouble, is sneaking around the kitchen, sticking her nose into cupboards and cabinets. She’s looking for the food the grown-ups save for themselves.
She does this now and then, though all she’s ever managed to find worth snatching was a single banana.
It was the best banana we ever tasted, of course. But still. With the trouble Gracie would get into if she were ever caught, Hansen isn’t a huge fan of these expeditions.
“I can’t find anything,” Gracie whispers into the silent, pre-dawn kitchen, frustrated. She knows there has to be good, fresh bread somewhere in here.
“Then get back here,” Hansen murmurs into his pillow.
We’re far apart—Hansen up in the dormitory and Gracie deep inside the pantry among sacks of buggy flour, dusty cans of corn and carrots and evaporated milk, and boxes upon boxes of powdered potatoes.
But we can still hear each other. We can always hear each other.
For a long time, we didn’t know it was a weird thing. But we eventually realized that not all brothers and sisters were like us. Not even most twins were like us.
It turned out it was not only a weird thing, it was the weird thing. That’s why we could never stay long in a foster home.
All our foster parents were too weirded out to let us stay more than a month or two. They didn’t know why we always answered questions the same way. They didn’t understand how we were able to tell them what the other was doing, seeing, hearing, and even thinking at that exact moment. Once they found out about our connection, they threw us out.
But we can’t be thrown out of the Lakeview Sunrise Group Home for Boys and Girls. The orphanage is the last refuge for troublemakers and freaks.
That’s why we belong here.