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Saturday
It was the best day ever. Until that bad kid stole something. And now, it's the worst day ever.
Eric picked me up this morning. While I was with him, I kept thinking real hard about what a good daddy he would be. Caleb's mother told me I should ask God when I want something. She told me that praying is just like having a conversation with a person in front of you that you can't see. All day, I kept kind of whispering to God, like in my head, but sometimes, I think maybe I even said it out loud, that I want Eric to be my daddy. He'd be the best daddy in the whole world. He was nice to me and played with me and had fun with me and never, ever got frustrated or mad at me. I've seen other daddies get like that. Even Mr. Nate sometimes gets frustrated with Ana, when she starts speaking Spanish, which even though she's just little, I think she does when he asks her to do something she doesn't want to do. Mr. Nate'll look at Miss Marisa with his eyebrows all high, like, hey, I told her to carry her dish to the sink and she's speaking Spanish, and then Miss Marisa will say, "English, pajarita," which they told me means little bird. Which fits—Ana's teeny tiny and she never shuts up. And when Miss Marisa tells her to speak English, she will, but still she doesn't always do what Mr. Nate tells her to do, so he has to tell her again, and he gets frustrated.
Maybe Eric didn't get frustrated with me because I did everything he said. But that was easy, because he only asked me to do easy stuff. And everything we did just kept getting better. First skateboarding, which was awesome. I'm getting really good. Even Eric said so. Then we had pizza, and he even told me I could order a whole second pizza if I was still hungry. I really tried to eat it all, but then I remembered Mama telling me not to each too much or I'd get sick, and it seemed not nice to make Eric buy a second pizza just because I wanted to see if he would. And then we went to this video arcade and played games.
And then some teenager stole something, and Eric ran after him, and he got hurt. And I don't know what happened to him, but they wouldn't let me see him again, and he got taken away in an ambulance. Mr. Nate came and got me, but he wouldn't take me to see Eric in the hospital, even though I felt like I was going to cry.
What if he dies? It was my fault he was at that video arcade, and what if he doesn't get better?
Miss Marisa came into my room a little while ago and told me Eric was doing okay, so he's probably not going to die. And I don't want to be all dramatic like Caleb's mom sometimes says he is. I'm just saying, I wish I could see him. Then I'd know he was okay, then I'd feel better.
I wonder if Mama is okay. What if she gets hurt and can't ever come back for me? I like Mr. Nate and Miss Marisa, but I really, really, really want my mama back. And maybe a daddy, too. A daddy just like Eric.