The Next Morning . . .
The doctor is astonished to discover an extra green child

‘This is so exciting,’ said Dr Brightside, pogoing with excitement, ‘Look at her! She’s soooo green. Why didn’t anyone call me?’

Nurse Rock looked uncomfortable. Dr Brightside was unstoppable, ‘I’d’ve been right over. This is our first green female. I had been toying with the idea that girls were immune. But obviously not. You’re at least as green as the boys.’

‘Errmm . . .’ hummed Nurse Rock.

‘And what’s her name?’

Nurse Rock carried on humming. ‘Errrmmm . . .’

‘Kwok,’ said Koko. ‘Koko Kwok.’

‘Lovely name. Where are her notes?’ There was a set of notes in a blue folder hanging from a clip on the end of my bed, and one on the end of Tommy-Lee’s – nothing on Koko’s.

Nurse Rock patted her pockets as if the notes might just be in there.

‘Here they are!’ Koko whipped a clipboard from under her duvet and passed it to Dr Brightside. ‘I hope you don’t mind. I was studying them. I’m hoping to be a doctor one day myself.’

She’d faked a set of notes for herself!

‘Your name . . . Are you Chinese?’ asked Dr Brightside.

‘My father is.’

‘My darling Medical Mysteries, you’re all sooooo interesting. You were all different colours and now you’re the same colour. So, Nurse Rock, does Koko have any food allergies?’

‘Errrmmm . . .’

‘There’s nothing in the notes.’

‘I do have allergies though,’ said Koko. Dr Brightside took out her iPad to make a note. ‘Quinoa. I can’t eat quinoa. Can’t even be in the same room as it.’

‘Oh.’ Dr Brightside looked crushed. ‘But quinoa is what we’ve mostly been eating these last few weeks . . .’

‘Makes my hands swell up like boxing gloves,’ said Koko.

‘What a coincidence,’ snarled Nurse Rock.

‘In fact, the only carbohydrate I can eat is –’ she looked at Tommy-Lee – ‘is Snack a Jacks.’

Tommy-Lee beamed. Which wasn’t wise. Nurse Rock definitely saw it. She flicked up her knife-edge eyebrows and sniffed. ‘Any particular flavour of Snack a Jack?’

‘Salt & Vinegar,’ said Tommy-Lee. Dr Brightside and Nurse Rock looked at him.

I said, ‘She was telling us all about her allergies last night. That’s how Tommy-Lee remembers that she has to have Salt & Vinegar.’

‘I see,’ said Nurse Rock. The way she said it made it clear that she didn’t mean, ‘I understand.’ She meant, ‘I see something weird is going on here and I’m going to find out what it is.’

Then there was a flippery smack sound from the bathroom. ‘What was that?’ snapped Nurse Rock. As if she couldn’t tell it was the sound of a penguin waddling over wet tiles.

‘My ringtone!’ smiled Koko, holding up Tommy-Lee’s phone. ‘By the way, I meant to tell you – I also eat sardines.’

‘Sardines?’

‘Yeah. Love them. Buckets of them, if you’ve got them. They’re good for the brain, aren’t they, Doctor? My love of sardines is probably why I’m so clever.’

‘Sardines it is then! Nurse Rock will sort that out, won’t you, Nurse?’

‘Oh. Of course. Just think of the ward as your favourite restaurant and me as your favourite head waiter.’ I could actually hear suspicious thoughts sparking around Nurse Rock’s brain. ‘But first let’s do the tests, shall we?’

‘Before breakfast?!’ said Dr Brightside, biting her lip. ‘Oh, go on then. I just can’t wait to get a look at your corpuscles, Koko. Send the samples straight to the lab, would you, Nurse Rock?’

‘Yes! Great idea!’ said Tommy-Lee. ‘I’ll go and do a sample now. In the bathroom.’

‘I think the doctor meant blood samples, didn’t you, Doctor?’ said Nurse Rock with a smile, whipping out a needle.

‘That’s right,’ the doctor agreed, slipping out of the door.

‘I’ll do a sample anyway,’ said Tommy-Lee, and fled into the bathroom.

I swear she jabbed us harder and took more blood that morning then she’d ever done before. Also there were no I’ve-Been-Brave certificates. There was a rattling sound from somewhere. Her eyes flicked over to the bathroom door. ‘What are you doing in there, Tommy-Lee?’

‘Washing my hands like it says on the notice.’

‘You’re making a lot of noise about it.’ She had the look of someone who has just figured out where the last person is hiding in a game of high-stakes hide-and-seek. She shooed Tommy-Lee out of the bathroom, went in there herself and locked the door behind her. No! We waited for the scream. Nothing. She walked out ten seconds later and said she’d be back as soon as she had located some Snack a Jacks.

As soon as she’d gone I dashed into the bathroom.

There was no sign of the penguin.

Maybe she’d eaten it.

It was when I stepped back into the ward that I heard the rattling at the window and saw a yellow beak clamped to the window catch.

‘Tommy-Lee, what have you done?’

‘I let Peter out so he could fly home.’

‘Penguins can’t fly.’

‘What? I thought they were birds! He’s got wings. Why can’t he fly?!’

The penguin was quaking with fear at the twelve-storey drop below him, and clutching on to the window catch so tightly with his beak I thought he was going to bite through it. I wedged open the window and dragged him back in.

‘Look at him. He’s shivering.’

‘You said penguins didn’t mind the cold.’

‘It’s not the cold,’ I said. ‘It’s the fear. Stuck on a ledge twelve storeys up. He’s terrified.’

Koko wrapped him in her duvet and pulled her curtains closed around him.

I said, ‘This penguin is endangering our whole operation. He has to go.’

‘What’s wrong with endangering things?’ said Koko. ‘Superheroes love danger.’