CHRISTOPHER HUNTER DEAD IN SHARK ATTACK ON BARRIER REEF

Australians were shocked this morning when they woke to the news that Christopher Hunter, famed naturalist and genetic match to Her Highness, Princess Victoria-Elizabeth, had died of his injuries in a Whitsunday hospital after an accident late the previous evening. An accomplished diver in all conditions, we may never know what led to Hunter’s demise. The family has asked for privacy at this time.

Speculation, of course, turns to Her Highness, and what course she will now chart. Hunter’s engagement to her was not without conflict, and the Princess had openly acknowledged her hopes that the match would stem the rising tide of Australian republicanism. We have heard nothing from either the Crown or the Church regarding what match the princess will now pursue, but readers will recall that another of Her Highness’s matches was rumoured to be from India, a country that has historically rejected dynastic weddings in favour of political concessions.

Donations in memory of Christopher Hunter can be made to the Australian Geographic Society, where it is expected they will commemorate him with some kind of conservation effort specific to his beloved Great Barrier Reef.

—from the Whitsunday Times